Eye in the Sky

"That's all true," Rawlins agreed. "I understand. That's the way the world is. That's the problem. So long as governments have power over the lives of their subjects, as long as they're free to experiment on citizens, as long as they can torture people, that's the way it's going to be. Do you realize that over half the candidates in our last presidential election endorsed torturing people, and a great many people agreed with them? I've heard conversations at work between otherwise rational people that in some circumstances it would be justifiable to torture information out of our enemies. I find that incredible, but it's a fact. That has to change."

"I understand, and I agree, but that doesn't help us now," Robinson answered. "The question is, how do we tell this story in such a way that Sawyer isn't a monster that needs to be eliminated? How do make her a sympathetic figure?"

"Why don't you just write it up that this is what Wormwood was intended to do?" Mike asked. "Just tell the truth about the program, detail what they planned to do if they were successful, tell about the kids they drove insane, tell about how they tortured Sawyer but don't tell anyone that they succeeded. I doubt that the NSA will advertise what she can do, they still won't want anyone to know and that way she's only got one enemy to look out for. She's capable of protecting herself pretty well, but not if the whole world is hunting her."

"You are a smart man, unknown sir," Robinson was elated. "I'll call you C. I think you're on to something, C. Let's go with that. The fact that they planned to do this stuff is damning. That's what will mobilize the world against them. It's the experiments on the children that will mobilize domestic pressure. There's going to be a UN resolution condemning the US before they can pull up their pants."

"There will be congressional hearings and presidential reviews too," Mike said.

"So how are we going to get those records we need?" Rawlins asked.

"We need a source; someone inside Ft. Meade that has access. Do you have any leads?" Robinson asked.

"No I don't, but I know someone who does. We need to get back. I'll have Sawyer fill you in when we have a plan."

When Rawlins and Mike returned home life resumed its normal flow. The first track meet was an exhilarating experience to Sawyer. The stands were full and the hundreds of athletes got acquainted and chatted about events. Sawyer and Lawson received permission from Coach Weathers to drive to the event in Sedona. Sawyer drove the GSX and it caused quite a stir when they pulled up. As she idled along the stadium, the heavy cam lope through the Flow Masters produced a rumble that made it impossible to ignore. When she stopped, a crowd of athletes surrounded them and not a few adults.

"Hey Sloan, new girlfriend?" one of his discus rivals asked.

"No," Lawson stroked the yellow paint, "she belongs to Jack," he nodded toward Sawyer. "I've still got the Trans Am."

"Lawson," Sawyer pretended to be outraged, "I think he was talking about me."

"Oh, sorry Simms, this is Jack Bishop and yes, she's my girl."

Simms shook her hand. "Glad to meet you Jack. That short for Jacquelyn?"

"No, just Jack. Lawson going to beat you today?"

"Yes he is," Simms complained. "I'm pretty good, but I'm unlucky enough to be in the same grade as him. I've been throwing against him since the 7th grade and I've never beaten him yet. Maybe he'll scratch all three throws and today will be my day. You're a lucky guy, Sloan. Best thrower in the state, cool car and cool girl. Maybe you'll hook me up someday."

"Maybe, but not today. Today I'm the king. I'll shag for you if you'll do it for me. You warmed up? Come over and watch after the 100, Jack. I'll be watching, but I need to go check in now."

The 100 was the first running event and the discus was the second field event. The shot put was first, and Lawson didn't throw shot. He was a very good thrower, but he only needed one qualifying throw to qualify for districts and he didn't like shot much. He would throw in the next to last meet and get qualified.

He checked in and warmed up with Simms. He was in the third discus heat and had time to spare. He heard the third call for the women's 100 meters and walked over to the fence near the finish line. There were three heats and the sprinters were separated by recorded times. Since Sawyer didn't have an official time she was in the third heat. It wasn't close, as she blew away the group. Now she had an official time. It was 12.02. She had the fastest time and got to pick her lane for the final. She walked to the fence and kissed Lawson.

"Which lane should I choose?"

"I don't know much about running but the guys I talk to like three or four."

She chose lane three and settled into the starting blocks. She got a great jump out of the blocks and she never saw another runner. She walked up to the judge running the laser timer and he gave her the time. "11.87," he told her. "Congratulations Bishop."

She walked around the fence to the discus alley and watched Lawson throw. His first throw was 159 feet and he scratched the other two without throwing.

"Why didn't you throw, Lawson?"

"Didn't need to," he told her. "No one here can beat that throw anyway and they take the top eight for the final. You know that pectoral muscle I tore last year? I don't want to risk that happening again by throwing unnecessary throws."

"That's smart, Lawson. When will the final be?"

"Just as soon as they get through with the preliminaries. I threw next to last, so as soon as they look at the distances and figure out who's in we'll start."

His second throw in the finals was 179 feet and the third was out of bounds. Simms threw a 152 and took second. Sawyer gave him a victory kiss and they heard the first call for the women's 4X200. She was running anchor and she jogged off to the bench where the runners were gathering while Lawson and Simms found a seat in the bleachers. The hammer was the last field event and they had a while.

"Damn Sloan, that girl is hot," Simms said enviously.

"I know, right? Don't you get any ideas. She doesn't like hairy guys."

Simms glanced at the forest of hair on his chest. "I'm getting waxed tomorrow."

Lawson laughed and slapped his friend's back. "They're getting ready to start."

The gun sounded and the runners were off. The Eagles were in second place after the first leg but a poorly executed baton exchange between the second and third legs had Sawyer in fifth when she took the baton. She flew around the back curve. The girls she was running against seemed to be in slow motion. She was in second as she came into the straightaway and she passed the girl in lane two as they came to the stands. She was fifteen yards ahead as she crossed the finish line and the stands roared.

Chest heaving she walked to the stands and Lawson was there to embrace her. He won the hammer easily and allowed Simms to use his new hammer. Sawyer jumped on the open 200 and was disqualified for a false start. She was somewhat disappointed but very happy with the event as a whole. She couldn't stop talking about it on the drive home and almost missed Calston's call.

"Sawyer, you there?" She felt his voice and reached out.

"Dave, yes I'm here. Sorry, we're on our way home from a track meet and I forgot the time. Listen, we need the name of someone inside the NSA at Ft. Meade that would have access to the files on Wormwood. Can you give us a name?"

"Let me think a minute. Yeah, I know of a guy. They call him the Octopus because he's into everything. He's a computer geek and he has access to anything. Alvin Walker, that's his name. How are you going to get him to get the files?"

"Do you think he knows about Wormwood, Dave?"

"He knows about everything, Sawyer. He's not an operations guy, but he knows."

"Then he's going to discover that it's a good idea to get those files and give them to us."

"Good. There aren't any innocent people there Sawyer. They either plan evil things or do evil things or they don't do anything to stop other people from doing them. I know Sawyer; I used to be one of them until I met you. Be very careful. These aren't people you want to mess with."

"I will, Dave. When are you coming out? I'd like to see you soon."

"I'd like that too. There are quite a few rumblings here about kicking this search up the food chain and getting the FBI involved. They're getting desperate and they'll probably take me off the assignment. If they do, could you have Mike pick me up in the chopper in Las Vegan?

"Yes, we'll do that. Just let me know when. I'm coming up on home now."

"Hug Lawson for me, bye Sawyer."

"Dave says hi," she told him. "I've got a name. All we have to do is find this guy and adjust him a little and we're good to go."

"Good. This has been a nightmare, Sawyer. I don't know how you stood it all these years."

"I didn't have a choice, Lawson. It was either live or die or go crazy. I didn't care much for the dying or insanity options, so I just lived and looked for a way out."

"I am so sorry, baby. I wish I could have helped you. It breaks my heart every time I think about it."

He slammed his fist into his palm. "Jesus Sawyer, I just wish I could get my hands on Watts for two seconds. I just need two seconds."

"Don't be silly Lawson. You didn't know me so you couldn't have helped. You aren't a killer. Leave Watts to his fate. It's bound to be unpleasant."

"Put me in a room with him and you'll find out that you're mistaken about me," he said grimly. "I'm not a killer, but he's not a man. He's worse than Spaulding was. He's a predator and little girls are his prey. I'd love a shot at putting him down."

"That's just the point, Lawson. He is a man. He's a sick, twisted pervert but he's a man. That's the way he thinks. We aren't people to him. I wasn't a person; I was a lab rat that he could experiment on. We all are. There's only one actual person in his world and that's him. That's the way people like him think. That's the way the people at the NSA and the people in government think too. We aren't people, we're objects that they use to benefit the only people that exist; themselves. That isn't the way people with morals and character and a conscience think. They're all sick and twisted, but they're all still people. We can't think like them. When we do, we become them."

"I guess you're right. You're a good person, Sawyer. That's part of why I love you. That and your sexy butt."

She laughed. "You know I'm right. It's a mindset, Lawson. If you view people as objects to be used, it's okay to exploit them. They don't talk like that, but that's the way it is. All this talk about public service and national security and patriotism is like Mike said. It's all just bullshit people use to justify doing things that are immoral. If you kidnapped me and tortured me you would be arrested and put in prison. Anyone would. What makes it okay for governments to kidnap and torture people? Can governments or their agencies do immoral things and be moral because it's the government? That can't be right. Immoral things are immoral no matter who does them. Torture is immoral. I don't care if the people who do it are elected officials, the police or one sick man, it's all immoral. It the king of the world does immoral things they are still wrong. They are sworn to protect and serve. They do that by torturing people. It's bullshit. If you want to protect and serve, join the fire department or the neighborhood watch."

"Wow, that's some heavy stuff, Sawyer. You've thought about this a lot."

"I had plenty of time to do it stuffed in a box in a 110 degree room without food or water."

"Jesus Christ Sawyer, that's what I'm talking about. You're a better person than me. I just want to kill the sick puppies that put you there."

"No, I'm not a better person than you, Lawson. If someone were doing that to you, I would want to kill them too. I just understand that I'd be killing a person, not a 'sick puppy.' I could live with killing a person to protect you because I love you. That's the difference between us and the NSA types. They would kill you because someone ordered them to or to protect their secrets or because of something abstract like patriotism or national security. They're sick. They try to justify it by rationalizing that they're protecting us. It's sick. How does torturing a villager in Afghanistan protect us? Normal people will only do extreme things to protect people they love, sick people don't especially care.

They talk about protecting our freedoms. I saw a commercial on TV the other day about the soldiers protecting our freedoms. They were killing people half way around the world. How is that protecting our freedom Lawson? If they want to protect our freedoms, why aren't they standing in front of our house and keeping people like Dr. Watts or the NSA or the FBI or the police from violating our freedom? Why aren't they standing in front of Congress and keeping them from passing laws the take away our freedoms? It's all bullshit."

"You're right. I would kill everyone in the world to protect you or Pop or Mike. I wouldn't lift a finger to protect 'national security.'"

"That's what I mean. I'm going to harm Alvin Walker. I'm going to do it to protect myself and the people I love. I don't like it, but I can live with it."

"Who's Alvin Walker?"

"The guy at Ft. Meade that is going to get us the files," she said.

Chapter 15

Rawlins wouldn't consider going after the files until school was out. "My son is going to graduate from high school like a normal person," he told them. "Sawyer is going to attend that graduation and you two are going to go to school every day like normal kids. This may take a while and you can't afford to miss that many days. We're normal people, do you understand?"

"No I don't," Sawyer told him. "We aren't normal and you know it. I can read minds and we're all being hunted by the NSA and now the FBI. What is your definition of normal, Rawlins?"

"Let me explain. My definition of normal is that in spite of our abnormal circumstances, we refuse to allow them to dictate our lives. We do what we want to, when we want to. No one and no thing decides what we're going to do or when we're going to do it. I have a plan for my son. I've had it since the day he was born. I've had a plan for you since the day I met you. I'm your father, well, at least I'm Lawson's father and Mike and I are the closest things you have to a father. It's a father's job to look out for his children. I've decided that the best thing for my children is that they live out their lives as if none of this is going on. When we have to deal with things, we will. But until that time, we do what we do. Every day we get up and do what we want to do, and I want you to be kids. Not fugitives, not spies, not warriors: just kids. Do you understand now?"

"Yes Rawlins, I do. I even agree. You're wiser than me and you make sense. I just hate the suspense. I want to get it over with. Do you understand that?"

"Yes I do. But I don't want you to live in suspense. That's my point. I want you to just be a eighteen-year-old girl that worries what she's going to wear to prom, or if her track time is fast enough. That's what life is about, not this other stuff. That's what we take care of so we can get back to what our real lives are about. I have it all planned out and I haven't thought about it for a second since I finished the plan. That's what I want for you too."

Lawson laughed. "What are you wearing to prom, Sawyer?"

"I don't have a date. I can't go to the prom unless someone asks me or I ask them. I haven't been asked."

Lawson slapped his forehead. "I'm an idiot." He knelt and took her hand. "Will you go to the prom with me, my lady?"

"Yes Lawson, I'd love to go to the prom with you. Now get up, you look silly. You look like you're proposing."

The three men shouted with laughter and Sawyer frowned at them. "Don't encourage him," she said. "He's bad enough without you two cheering him on. Could I talk to you alone for a minute Rawlins?"

He took her into his office while Mike and Lawson turned to a fight on TV. She put him in his office chair and pulled the burgundy leather chair beside his desk around until when she sat down their knees were touching. She took both his hands in hers and looked up into his face.

"This seems serious, Sawyer."

"It is. I want to ask you something, but I'm a little embarrassed."

"Don't be. You can ask me anything honey."

"I know but it's still embarrassing. I don't want to talk to you about this. You're too close. But I don't have a mother or an older sister I can talk to. All I've got is you. I'm thankful to have you but it's still embarrassing. I might as well go for it. You know prom is next week? I was just kidding Lawson about it. I knew we were going. I have a moral dilemma, Rawlins."

"What is it?"

"I want to sleep with your son on prom night and I know you won't approve. Neither will Mike and I won't do it unless you approve."

He was silent for a moment. Finally, he squeezed her hands and said, "Let me make my case and then you give me yours. Is that okay?"

"Yes, I'll listen to everything you say."

"Okay, here it is. You're the most wonderful girl I've ever met Sawyer. If I had a daughter, I'd want it to be you. I hope you'll be my daughter someday when you marry Lawson. You're good and honest and thoughtful and beautiful. I should tell you in all honesty that Kimberly and I slept together for the first time on prom night and we never regretted it. But we were both seniors and we had decided to spend the rest of our lives together. We planned to get married after college. My first problem is that you're eighteen-years-old. It's not illegal, and even if it isn't, I'm not sure eighteen-year-old girls should be having sex. I'm afraid that it would be bad for you in some way I don't even understand. Are you with me so far?"

"Yes, all except for the illegal part. I think we both know I don't give a hoot about that and neither do you."

"Okay, you're right. Forget I said that. My second problem is you might get pregnant. That can be worked around, but it's a problem. That would mess you both up. When you have kids, you give hostages to fortune. Someone wise said that. I forget who, but it's true. The rest of your life becomes complicated. Teenagers don't need those complications and shouldn't have them. Got that?"

"Yes, I understand."

"Third, you start something that kind of lets the genii out of the bottle, so to speak. Are you going to want more? What about Lawson? He can't keep his hands off you now. God knows what you two get up to when I'm not around. I'm fine with that because I trust you, but where do you go from here? Okay, I'm done for now. I may think of something else. Your turn."

"Thanks for being honest and patient with me Rawlins. I have two, well maybe three reasons. The first one I only just thought about a few minutes ago. You made me think about it when you said that you want us to be normal kids. Do normal kids have sex on prom night Rawlins?"

He laughed. "Some of them do. I already told you I did. I guess it's pretty normal. But you don't do things because other people do."

"I know that, but I just wanted you to see that it's not weird or abnormal."

"Okay, I've got it. What are the other two reasons?"

"I'm in love with your son, Rawlins. When he's close, he sets me on fire and when he's not, I ache for him. I won't ever be with anyone but him." Her eyes filled with tears.

"He loves me too. He couldn't hide that from me if he wanted to. We kind of do the Vulcan Mind Meld all the time. He knows what I'm feeling and I know what he's feeling. We have no secrets from each other. We aren't as organized as you and Kimberly were. We don't have any formal plans. We can't have that kind of plans. We may all be dead by the end of the year. That is another reason I hadn't thought of until now. I don't want to die without being with him, Rawlins." She began to sob.