F5: Desperate Times and Measures

There was a new cleared trail that circled the property. It ran past the swimming hole, and my 'official' Maya Ruins. Honestly, it looked like a pile of rocks. No temple to the sun here, but a professor from the university in Belize City confirmed it. It turns out the area was littered with ruins. Manolo said for only $2000 Belize, he could have it excavated, and see what was under the dirt. I was curious, but not that curious. He still cleaned it up, exposed a couple of steps and a piece of wall, put up a stone and another sign. "Jenna's Rest". It was near the edge of my property, and less than fifty feet later Manolo had the end of the trail coming out on the side road, conveniently across from where the trails at the community next door started.

The roads were improved, with a nice cleared space on each side. The fruit trees were trimmed, sprayed, and mulched. I even had my shade gazebo with thatched roof to the east side of the beach. My original little grill was enclosed, and was big enough to cook a side of beef. I had a half-ton of wood charcoal in the brick box beside it. There were two hammocks down by the water, hanging between some of the trees that had been left when the beach was originally cleared. Two. There was only one of me. You do the math.

What I was missing was my guests.

I'd been calling the girls regularly, at least once a week. Krystal had moved in with her guy, and found a good job. She bitched about it a lot, but don't we all? Jenna was loving Italy, and sprinkled Italian into our conversations. I was keeping most of the work I was doing a secret, I wanted it to be a surprise.

They never brought up their mother. When I asked about her, all they would say was that she was very busy, but when it was time, she'd contact me. I guess it was really over. I had mixed feeling about that.

I was afraid they'd want to spend Christmas with their mother, but I went out on a limb and invited them anyway. I was surprised when they both accepted, eagerly. I wasn't quite as pleased when they both told me they'd be bringing a 'guest'. Call me selfish, I wanted my girls for myself. I told them my gift was the airfare to Belize City and home again. They were to coordinate their travel, for all four of them, and charge it to me. I was scared of what that would cost me. I could probably have my dock built for less.

I told Manolo what was happening, and realized I had no place for four people to stay. He chewed me out good, then told me about the Mennonite pre-fab homes. The next day I was talking to Hans, and I was amazed at how cheaply and quickly I could have a very basic cabin in place. Because of the rush, I had to select from their existing inventory. One was a particularly good deal, because the original buyer defaulted. For a new two-bedroom, one bath, hardwood home, complete, on-site, with a basic interior finish and a 16' x 8' veranda, it was a little over $30,000, and only $24,000 for the second-hand one. Manolo promised to have the interior finished, the place painted, and everything ready for my guests for another five grand. It would hurt my wallet, but I told them to go ahead.

I no longer had a beach house, I had a compound. Alright, I was going a little nuts. But if it meant seeing my girls more often, I figured it was worth it.

* * * *

It was December 16th, I'll never forget it. Four days before my girls were supposed to come visit for two weeks. I could hear the saws running, as the carpenters were putting in the cabinets in the casitas. There must have been at least ten people working on the property. One guy was even climbing the beach trees and installing Christmas lights.

I'd been evicted from my own house, while the floors were refinished. Manolo was pretty amazing, I have to admit. He was always searching auctions, sales, and property recoveries. He'd found some used granite counters, ridiculously expensive new, and was having my kitchen surfaces replaced. My living room office had been relocated to the second bedroom, and they were making the place 'presentable.'

In the meantime, all I could do was sit back and watch the worker bees go crazy. I was walking the beach, and when I looked up I saw a jogger crossing my property. She waved and I waved back. A few seconds later I almost broke my neck. I could swear it was Sandy. I tried running after her, but I was too late. I didn't stand a chance. She was headed toward the retirement resort.

Shit. It couldn't be! I hopped in my car, and took off on the mile and a half drive to get to the sales office next door. Walking, it was a half-mile, but I was in a hurry. Twenty minutes later I left confused. No, she didn't live there. Nobody with her name, or description had bought or rented in the last year.

My heart was beating a mile a minute. I was sure it was her. I mean, I only had a glance, but I'd know that run anywhere.

I returned to "Dan's Escape" as the large sign at the entrance proclaimed. I hadn't chosen the name, but I deemed it fitting. Getting out of the car, I was surprised at how disappointed I was. The bitch broke my heart, right? She left without saying a word. I was better off without her.

"The girl's are gonna love it, Dan. You've done miracles with the place."

I turned and she was standing there, jogging in place, sweaty. Beautiful. "Not even a 'hi' for an old friend?" she asked, grinning.

I stepped over and gave her a hug. "Hi. You're looking great, Sandy."

"Baby, I'm all gross and sweaty," she laughed, pushing me away.

"What are you doing here?"

"It's a long story. How about I tell it to you over dinner?"

"Sure. I'd like that. What would you like? I'll go into town—"

"No, dinner at my place. How about I pick you up here around seven?"

Her place? My mind felt fuzzy, I couldn't think straight, none of this made sense.

She leaned in and gave me a kiss on the cheek. "Say yes, honey. Don't overthink it."

"Yes. Seven. Here. Your place." I must have sounded like an idiot.

She laughed, and gave me a hug. "I love you, Dan. Always have and always will." Then she turned and ran down my road.

* * * *

I was less than useless. I was an impediment. Manolo finally threw his hands in the air and said he gave up, when he asked me something about something. He would do it his way, and I better not complain.

I stood for an hour, watching "Chainsaw Eddie" build beach lounge chairs from a tree with his chainsaw, a hammer and some nails. He didn't even have a tape measure or plans. The man was a freak. He handled a chainsaw like it was a carving knife. As he finished each one, he'd start on another, and some woman I'd never seen before would sand it by hand and paint it.

Sandy. Dinner.

I wondered why my casita was pink. Well not really pink, more like the color of the inside of a conch shell.

A guy was raking my sand. I'm serious. Long straight rows. For some reason I wanted to walk across it. Mess it up.

There were kids walking around, no kidding, kids, no more than ten years old would be my guess, pulling up plants from where they shouldn't be growing.

Dinner. Her place.

Chainsaw Eddie had moved on and was carving what looked like a six foot tall Maya sculpture. It reminded me of the Easter Island statues. He recruited four guys to carry it and stand it up at the entrance to the beach, and he started sculpting it in place. Kinda like those ice carvers.

An older woman was walking on the gravel paths, barefoot. She'd stop every so often and toss a rock she didn't approve of to the side. Occasionally, she'd use a large stone she carried in her hand to beat a piece of seashell into oblivion.

This was insane. I'd let it all get away from me.

Sandy. Here.

I went for a swim.

* * * *

Some woman made me wipe my feet before I was allowed in my own house. I showered indoors, and put on my best casual shirt and shorts. I shaved. I spent fifteen minutes searching through my cabinets for aftershave, then decided against it. Brushed my teeth, combed my hair, and then brushed my teeth. I agonized over which of my two pair of sandals to wear. I stuck a handkerchief in my pocket for the first time in over two years.

I finally walked out to the porch, watching the circus, and keeping an eye on the entrance, waiting for my wife, I assumed she was still my wife, to drive up.

"You look dapper."

I turned and she was standing there, wearing a light weight yellow halter dress. She was stunning.

"Ready to go?" she asked, waiting patiently.

I stood, and looked around at the activity. The hell with it. Manolo had things in hand. I was useless anyway. She slipped her hand in mine and gave a tug. "Come on. I'm sure you have lots of questions."

We walked hand in hand down the road, away from the resort. Toward nothing. Just before the end of the road, she turned up my trail, and fifty feet later, stepped between two trees, tugging me along after her. A few feet later we were on a new trail, and headed back down toward the shore. Five minutes later there was a clearing, and one of the cute little casitas Manolo had originally urged me to buy. The house was yellow, like her dress. Her favorite color.

"Welcome to Sandy's Haven. Isn't it adorable?"

It was. But it didn't make sense. None of it made sense. "I don't understand."

She moved into my arms, embracing me. She gave me a soft kiss. "I know. Come in. Relax, and I'll try to explain everything."

We walked into her house, kicking our sandals off at the entrance. It smelled great. I looked up and David was at work in the kitchen. He looked up and waved his knife at me. I think he meant it in greeting, but I wasn't taking anything for granted.

"Did you know that David makes the world's greatest paella? It's to die for. Can I get you a Belikin?"

I sat on the bright colored couch, in front of the glass covered coffee table. I looked through the glass, and got punched between the eyes again. Under the glass top lay three items: a handkerchief, a book, and a knife.

She sat beside me and handed me a beer. I opened it and passed it back to her. She gave me mine, and I opened that one, and took a much needed drink.

"A reminder. Of what my stupidity cost me, and what I was going to do my damnedest to win back," she said, leaning back and crossing her legs. Her dress slid up her thighs exposing way too much thigh for my broken brain to handle.

"Please, Sandy. What's going on?"

"I'm sorry, Dan. I knew it was still too early. I was willing to wait. But with the girl's coming for Christmas, I had to try. I had to."

"You live here?"

"Since about five weeks after the girls left."

"How's that possible? How could I never see you?"

"I didn't want you to. You weren't ready. I realized that, after our last talk, and I was willing to wait." She put her hand on my leg. "I can't believe what you've done next door. The girls are going to love it."

"I didn't think this land was even for sale."

She shrugged. "I had help tracking down the owner. It was pretty cheap, actually. It's nowhere near as big as yours. It's got almost 500 feet of waterfront, but no beach like yours. Manolo was able to make me a road and clear an acre for the house, and a view of the water, for less than two thousand dollars."

"Manolo?"

"Yeah, David hooked me up. Manolo's nice, and he can work miracles. He had all my permits in less than two weeks, got the house set up, septic, well, solar power, everything in less than a month. I couldn't believe it. Then this cute little house was on a truck one day, and I was moving in the next." She took a sip of her beer. "Marta helped a lot with getting the inside finished."

"How can you afford this?"

"I sold the house, of course, as soon as I accepted you were gone, and I rented. You left me pretty well off, considering. All of this cost less than half of what I got at closing. I sold the car, and bought that old truck out back. What's the deal with that, anyway? Trucks cost less than a car?"

I wasn't about to go into the whole business of utility vehicle duty versus passenger cars. That didn't matter.

David's little girl walked over and placed a tray of conch fritters in front of us. Not too many, just enough for an appetizer. "For you, Mr. Dan," she said, smiling.

"It looks wonderful, thank you, Deedee." She scampered back to where her father was diligently working, pretending to hear nothing.

I ate one. Delicious, as I'd have expected. I fed her one, watching her. I still couldn't get over the fact that she was here. Right under my nose, all this time. Just a couple of hundred yards away.

I ate another fritter, dipping it in the spicy sauce. I offered her one, but she shook her head. She had seemed so calm, but I could see she was nervous. Anxious.

"Honey, I know the timing is terrible. I'm trying to be patient. I love you, baby. And I miss you so bad. I'm not asking to move in or anything, but I—"

She looked so nervous, so scared. So damn beautiful. All this time, not even a quarter of a mile away. Waiting until I was ready. "Kiss me, Sandy."

"Dan?"

"Kiss me, you stupid woman. Leaving me over there all alone, all this time. Kiss me now, or I swear I'm gonna put you over my knee and give you a whipping you'll never forget."

She scrambled across the couch, and threw her arms around my neck. Her lips met mine forcefully, our teeth clashing. She kissed me for a second, and pulled away.

I pulled her over, lifting her onto my lap. "Is that how a wife kisses her husband, after not seeing him for over six months?"

She grinned. "Actually, I saw you almost every day."

"You know what I mean."

"No. You're the one that hasn't seen me. Kiss me, husband. Kiss your stupid, lonely, repentant wife, and tell her you still love her."

I held her face in my hands, and kissed her. Tasted those lips I'd been without for so long. I ran my hands down her body, irritated that stupid dress was between us. I kissed my wife.

"I love you, I never stopped loving you. You know that," I whispered into her ear.

She smiled, and I could see the tears in her eyes. "I know, but a woman needs to hear it sometimes."

I reached in my pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, wiping her tears away. Big mistake. She started sobbing, clinging to me, her entire body shaking. I held her gently, reminding her I loved her.

"Papa says dinner's ready in ten minutes, and to stop torturing that woman."

I looked up at the little troublemaker, showing me her big smile, one of her front teeth notably absent. "Tell your Papa we'll be ready, and tomorrow, he's gonna have some explaining to do."

Sandy was curled up, leaning against me, wiping her face and mascara on my favorite shirt. I guess I could forgive her for that. I'd forgiven her for a lot worse.

"Can I come home, Dan?" she whispered.

After all we'd been through, the hurt, the turmoil, I thought the decision would be harder than it was. Maybe it should have been, but I knew in my heart there was only one real solution. My life was empty without her. I'd loved her most of my life, and didn't want to spend any more time apart. She'd screwed up, badly, and it had cost us. In some ways, my response had been even worse. But that was our past, and if I ever hoped to by happy again, I needed to put that behind me.

"I think it's about time, don't you?"

Her head popped up, eyes open wide. "Really?"

"Please. I hate my life without you. I tried, I did, but all I could do was pass time. But you have to promise me, promise me that for now on, it's just you and me, nobody else. Forever and ever."

"I do, baby. I swear. If you'll take me back, you'll never regret it. I know now. Know what I risked, what my selfishness cost. All I need is a second chance."

I kissed her softly, and felt my own eyes moistening. This part was hard.

"I need you to forgive me, Sandy. I'm so sorry. I gave up on us too easily, and I . . . I was unfaithful. Never again, I promise. Please forgive me."

She nodded slowly. "I have. It took me a while. You have no idea how bad you hurt me. Not for leaving. I understood that. But that woman. I tried so hard, I put it all on the line. I figured you might have moved on, but to do it like that! With me on the front porch, that was evil, Dan."

"It wasn't intentional. I guess I was still in shock over your showing up like you did. I was determined I wasn't going to let you disrupt my life in any way. You weren't supposed to be there, and I wasn't going to change my life, just because you'd found me. I couldn't afford to. I was just finding a routine, numb to the pain, moving on. I forgot she was going to be there. I know it was wrong, but I didn't mean to intentionally hurt you, it was a way of protecting myself. I'm sorry."

"Do I want to know how long?"

"About four months. Once a week on laundry day. It cost me twenty dollars, which is a lot. Then after you left, I . . . I kind of lost it. The next week I let her go. I couldn't do it."

"Was there anyone else?" she asked.

"No. Not before, and not since. And there never will be again, if you'll forgive me and take me back."

"You promise?"

"Cross my heart."

"Papa says you are two foolish people. You need to kiss and make up, and eat before it gets cold."

Deedee again. Her hands behind her back, bouncing up and down on her toes, grinning like her evil father. "Tell your Papa that I'm gonna make sure everyone knows that he uses instant rice."

Sandy giggled, then threw her arms around my neck. "Are we really doing this?"

I grabbed her left hand, and held it up in front of her with my left. Showing her our rings. "Husband and wife. 'Til death do us part."

* * * *

Dinner was nothing short of amazing, and David left with his girl once we'd been served. Dessert was even better.

It was awkward, after two years apart. Once, we had fit together to easily, so naturally, now we were walking on eggshells. We never made it back to my place. After the meal, she took me by the hand and led me straight to her room. It was small, like the house, and the bed was only a twin. Of course mine was only a double.

She undressed in front of me, blushing. I waited and watched. She looked incredible. She'd gained back the weight she needed and it looked like it all went to the right places. She was tan all over, head to foot.

"Somebody's been running around naked again," I said.

She gave me a hesitant smile. "You always said it was your favorite outfit."

"No, I always said it was your favorite outfit."

"Alright, so it's both of ours. I'll have you know this place is very private. I'm not an exhibitionist." She pouted cutely. "How come I'm the only one naked here?"

"Because that's my favorite outfit, and I've sure missed seeing it."

"Get undressed, and come to bed, husband. Show me you've missed me."

We laid together, touching each other, exchanging tentative kisses. I was re-familiarizing myself with her body, and didn't know how to start. I don't think she did either. It was like neither of us wanted to make the first move. It certainly wasn't because I wasn't up for it. I was. Very much so.

She laid on her side, facing me, and lifted one knee. I scooted closer, giving her a brief kiss. I inched my hips forward, then arched my back, trying to get my cock to line up with her. We were embracing each other, hand caressing skin, tentatively. She shifted again, the head sliding against her little patch of fur. She scooted up a bit, and I kissed her lips, pulling my hips away, and pushing forward again, sliding between her legs. We both wriggled a little more, our hands resting on each other's torso, as we became awkward contortionists, trying to come together. I was staring into her eyes, seeing the love and need. I wiggled again, missing her opening.