Falling off of the Swing

He took one look at my car and said, "No." I thought he was joking.

"You should have thought about all of that when you bought that thing," he said.

I guess in a way he was right. But on another level everyone makes mistakes and we all need a helping hand from time to time. My dad could be a real hard ass and very inflexible in his thinking on some matters. I really believe that inflexibility and unwillingness to forgive is what ended my parents' marriage.

I mean I know that what my mom did was wrong. She made a terrible mistake and my dad was right to be angry at her. But she loved him more than anything else in the world and he threw her away like an old pair of shoes for that one mistake.

Sure, dad moved on with his life. I guess if he couldn't forgive her there was nothing else to do. And he does have the right to be happy. But where others still see my dad as being a great guy because he goes by the home once a week and visits my mom, I see it differently. I see him slowly torturing her. He goes by and visits her every fucking week just so he can dangle the thing she wants most in the world in front of her, himself, knowing that she'll never have him again.

In some ways, I think it would be kinder not to go so she'd get over him or maybe even forget. But week after week he goes. Sometimes he even takes his new wife so she can see how happy they are. Dad even had kids with the new wife. They're teenagers now. It's funny, my dad is in his late sixties. He's still a vibrant and active man. My mom, on the other hand, is no longer the beauty she once was and is a broken down hulk of a woman. I often wonder if it was her one slip that caused her life to turn out that way or just my dad's unwillingness to forgive.

It's been said that the best revenge is living well. I truly believe that because my dad never hit my mom or even raised his voice to her, but he destroyed her life far more completely than if he'd done either.

I didn't share Serena's opinion that differences in sex drive destroyed my parents' marriage. I think it was my dad's inability to bend or to put someone else's needs before his. In my opinion, true, real love is so hard to find that you make allowances for the people who really love you.

So yep, as much as I didn't like the idea of us becoming swingers, I agreed to try it. And yes the first few times that we tried it, I participated. Did I enjoy it? Hell yes. There's always something to be said for having sex with a young vibrant woman. It's even better when you can sample different body types and cultures. Serena is tall and thin, I'd often wondered about sex with a shorter chunkier woman, or a woman with large breasts or even a woman with a big fat butt. And through the club, I now know.

The problem, at least for me, is that after a while and a relatively short while, it got boring to me. It became simply a physical act, exactly as Serena had suggested. I hoped that she'd get bored of it as well and that we could quit. The problem was that Serena never got bored of it. As time wore on, she wanted to go to the club more and more. I spoke to her several times about quitting and she always told me that I was probably just bored and needed to try something or someone different. She always told me to give it another week and we'd quit, but we never did.

About that time, I made what was for me, a terrible mistake. Serena and I always separated at the club. Our first few times there we learned that we really didn't like seeing each other with someone else. Anyway, I made the mistake of walking into a room where Serena was...I guess the only thing I can call it was...performing.

There were at least four or five guys fucking her or waiting their turns. It was like she was in a feeding frenzy and she couldn't get enough dick. I quickly backed out of the room, but the picture never left my mind. I didn't realize it then but a switch had been turned.

I've always heard that you can't fall out of love with someone overnight. That is probably true, but you can fall out of love with someone given enough time. That first time that I saw her started the process for me. I tried to avoid seeing her in the club after that. The problem was that I couldn't erase the scene from my mind or my memory. I'm sure that was the point I began pulling away from Serena.

When we left the club, we often made love when we got home. I guess it was some sort of thing to prove who we still ended up with no matter what had gone on at the club. That night was the first night that we didn't. It was also the first time I ever lied to Serena.

She showered and couldn't wait to get into bed when she got home. I took a very long time in the shower and even when I got into bed just pulled away from her.

"Don't you want me?" she asked.

"Very much," I lied. "But I guess I'm just drained." She was shocked.

"So some evil bitch has drained all of my stuff huh?" she said. "Well, it's okay. At least you had a good time. Next time remember to save something for your wife though, okay?"

I nodded and she scooted over and draped my arms around her. "You can just hold me, anyway though," she said. As we lay there spooned together she wiggled her ass against me trying to arouse me. I pulled away from her and finally rolled away completely, pretending I was asleep. While holding her, I felt like I was hugging a strange pit bull. It just wasn't something I was comfortable doing.

For the next few weeks, I brought up quitting the club on a regular basis. Maybe I should have been more firm with Serena or simply stopped going, but I didn't want to be like my father. I wanted us to decide together that we didn't need other people. Unfortunately, I ran into Serena in the club again, this time a huge blond guy was pounding her while others waited their turn and cheered. When he got done with her he shot his sperm all over her face and she licked it from around her mouth with her tongue. I had to get out of there before I threw up.

I backed out of the room and tried to sit down in one of the common areas.

"If you're thinking it'll get better, it doesn't," said a voice. I looked up and saw a woman sitting on the sofa I just dumped myself on.

She was short and while not fat, she was voluptuous. She had big boobs and a big butt. But she also had the most beautiful blue eyes I'd ever seen. Her long very dark brown hair was tied into one long braid that started from the top of her head and continued to the small of her back. She was fully dressed unlike a lot of the women in the club. That was one of the things that always amazed me. The women there walked around in nothing or next to nothing, while the men were always dressed.

"You must be new here," she said. She smiled and it made me want to smile too. "Donna," she said, holding out her hand. I shook it and smiled back.

"I guess maybe I should take you around on a tour and show you some of the places to avoid until you're fully acclimated," she said.

"That would be nice," I said. I didn't let on that I'd been a member for longer than she had.

She showed me the back of the club where the deck and the balcony were. I'd seen it but hadn't been there in over a year. We ended up talking for a while about all kinds of things, from cars to games and even movies. Donna, at twenty-nine years old, was six years younger than me. Her smile and her eyes lit up the night for me.

After our tour, we ended up back on the balcony. The moon was high in the sky and it was a warm night. We played scrabble on my iPhone for hours. Just before midnight I won the last game we played. "Okay you won," she said. "I guess we should find a room so you can have your prize."

"Huh?" I asked.

"I appreciate you spending all of your time with me," she said. "Isn't that the reason why people come here? I just assumed that you'd want to have sex as your prize. Is it okay if I just give you a blow job though? My husband will be expecting me soon."

I grabbed her by the sides of her head and gently pulled her to me. I very gently kissed her on her lips, letting my lips linger on hers for a fleeting moment.

"Why ruin it?" I asked. "We had a really good time tonight. I really like you. I thought I'd found a real friend. Please don't turn it into something as cheesy as the rest of what goes on around here."

Then I turned and left. When I got back to the entry hall, Serena was sitting on the couch with her arms folded waiting for me.

"Where were you?" she asked angrily. I looked down at her and smiled.

"I was having fun. Isn't that what we're supposed to do here?" I asked.

"We always leave by ten," she said. "It's after midnight."

"Serena," I snapped. "I usually have to wait for you. Just this once you had to wait for me. What's the problem?"

I didn't wait for an answer. I just grabbed my keys out of my jacket and headed for my car. As we pulled away from the club, I let my thoughts wander. I pushed my head back into my Mustang's Recaro racing seat and smiled as I remembered kissing Donna.

"...tion to me?" I'd been so lost in my thoughts that I hadn't heard most of what Serena was asking me.

"Huh?" I answered.

"Stephen did you hear any of what I just asked you?" she said.

"Nope," I said.

"It figures," she said.

When we got home she asked me if I wanted to take our showers together.

"We could save some water, Honey," she smirked. "It would be good for the planet."

"That's okay," I said. "I have to check my email and voice messages to make sure nothing happened on that project I'm working on for work. You go ahead."

That was the way the next three months went. We started going to the club more and more because as much as Serena wanted to go, I wanted to go more. It got to the point where if Serena didn't bring up going to the club, I did.

Once we got there, I quickly found Donna and we spent all of our time together. We played games initially and we talked. Boy did we talk. I think it was the third time that we met each other that we kissed again. Both of us had been thinking about that first kiss and wondering if another would be as good. There was no disappointment. The second kiss told me something that I didn't want to admit. From the second our lips touched, our tongues reached out probing each other's mouths. My hands wandered Donna's ample body but only the innocent areas. I rubbed her back and sides but stayed away from the juicy places like her ass and those breasts that were flattening themselves on my chest.

Donna didn't come back to the club for a week after that. I spent that week treating Serena like shit. Not that I hit her or screamed at her, but I was always crabby. I told her it was problems at work.

The second Donna walked into the club I knew that something was different. Where before she'd always been tentative and passive, she immediately sought me out. I also noticed that the big blond guy that I'd seen pounding Serena was Donna's husband.

She grabbed my hand and pushed me into a room. She backed me up to a wall, wrapped her arms around me and kissed me. She pressed every bit of her body against me and refused to back off.

"Do you know how much I missed you?" she asked. "I thought I'd go crazy. Let's get out of here."

"Uhm Donna, this is a couples place, remember?" I asked.

She smiled at me. "Haven't you noticed that men and women come and go all the time? Couples have to come in together and leave together. If we leave by a different door, how will they know that we didn't come together?"

That marked a big change in our relationship. It was actually the start of our relationship. Instead of moping around while our spouses fucked, Donna and I took long romantic walks together. We saw movies. We saw plays. We had dinners and tried out different restaurants.

We talked about serious things like our lives and our marriages. There were only two things we didn't talk about, sex and divorce.

We didn't talk about sex, because we could have not only talked about it but done it any time we wanted. Both of us wanted to wait for as long as we could and make that first time as special as possible. There were times when I literally burned, because I wanted to fuck her so bad. There were also a couple of times when she stuck a couple of my fingers into her bra so I could feel exactly how hard her nipples were. But we enjoyed prolonging the anticipation while we got to know each other better.

Neither of us wanted to be with our spouses anymore either, but we simply never talked about it.

We also broke another of the club's rules. We exchanged phone numbers so we could speak to each other whenever we wanted.

Of course, Serena wasn't stupid. She did notice the changes in me. And she pointed out to me that perhaps it was time for us to stop going to the club.

"Why?" I asked in shock. "Aren't you enjoying it? You were the one who started us going there. And now that I'm finally beginning to enjoy it, you want to quit."

"Stephen," she said. "Have you noticed that you and I don't have sex anymore? At first, we used to all the time. We even did it after we got home from the club. Then sometime back you stopped wanting me after we'd been at the club. I thought that maybe it was something like maybe you didn't want to be with me after some other guy. Stephen, it hurt me pretty bad, but I figured we'd need to work through it. But now it's gotten to the point where we don't have sex at all, Stephen."

"Serena, men and women are different. After I get off a couple of times I need time to recharge," I said.

"Stephen, I know you," she said. "Don't give me that shit. When we first started going I saw you have sex with a woman in the club and then come home and make love to me more than once. Don't you see that what we do together and what happens at the club are different?"

"Serena, you were the one who said that sex is just a biological function and all of that other stuff," I said. "We have to be able to separate love from sex."

"But Stephen, don't you see that we're over doing the club thing, Honey? We went five nights last week," she said.

"Maybe you're just getting bored," I said. "You should probably try out something new or someone new."

"How dare you use my words against me," she said. "Don't you see that what I get from you is different from that crap? Stephen, we go to the club to fuck. It's just sex. Most of the people there don't give a damn about who they do it with as long as they get off. The men there just want to pound you like a fucking drum. With you I get tender gentle loving from someone who cares about me. I haven't had that in a long time."

"I get the feeling that you're saving all of your energy for some whore at the club and forgetting that you have a wife who loves you," she said sadly.

I guess my mouth got ahead of my brain. "You mean you're tired of being the club pincushion so now that I've started to enjoy myself, you want us to quit," I said.

She just stood there and looked shocked. "Stephen, what...?" she said.

"Serena, I've seen you doing gang bangs and whatever else you do. I've seen you taking on multiple guys and licking their sperm off of your body parts and trying your best to drain them dry. It was an accident. I've only run into you a few times but every time I did, it sickened me. I kept it to myself so you could go ahead and enjoy yourself. I gave you your time. So give me mine."

"It's not like you won't get yours," I said. "Both of us will still go to the club. You won't be stuck wandering around there feeling lost and lonely like I was."

"What do you mean?" she asked. "I saw you those first few times."

"Serena, I got bored and gave that up after a few weeks. After I experimented and tried out a few different body types it just got boring for me. It was only sex. It didn't mean anything." I should never have said that last part.

"But what about us?" she asked. "What about our sex life?"

"Serena, after seeing you in action," I began. "I just didn't...I was miserable."

"Stephen, are you trying to tell me that you don't want to have sex with me?" she asked. The tears were fighting their way out of her eyes.

"Look Serena," I said. "It's not that I don't want to, it's just well...I'm a normal guy. I feel kind of intimidated after seeing you screwing five or six guys at a time and hearing you screaming for more. It just makes me wonder why you even need me."

"Oh Stephen, this was a terrible mistake," she said. "We can't ever go there again."

"Serena, we have to," I said. "We went long enough while you wanted to. So you have to give me some time too." She nodded her head.

"Let me know when we can quit," she said.

I guess I'd underestimated Serena. We went to the club the next night. "Please let me know when you're done," she said. "Just text me and I'll get dressed and come right back here. Or if I get done first I'll wait for you right her so we can go home. Can you at least try to save something for me? We really need to get back on track, Honey. Maybe we can slowly phase this out like we phased it in?"

She slowly walked away from me. Less than ten minutes later Donna and her husband came in. He started taking off his clothes while he was still in the great room. Donna rolled her eyes and grabbed my hand. We went to a very romantic restaurant and sat there holding hands and listening to the violins after we ate. Then we took a walk and finally headed back to the club.

When we got back inside by the side door and headed for the great room we exchanged one of our usual soul searing kisses in the darkened hallway just outside of the lit up meeting room.

We'd just pulled ourselves apart and were still staring into each other's eyes when the clapping started.

"What the fuck was that?" screamed a deep voice. "Was this a fucking date? Are we in high school?" The lights came on and we noticed several members of the club, including Donna's huge husband Jerry and my wife Serena who looked like she was going to cry.

"What did you think you were doing? That isn't how this works. You didn't fuck her. You were with her the whole God damned night and all you did was kissed her and sat around looking at her. Don't you know how to fuck?" I was speechless.

"Are you too good to fuck my wife? Or don't you think she's sexy enough for you?" he boomed.

I just shrugged my shoulders. "She's beautiful," I said.

"Good," he screamed. "Let's get this started then. Donna, take off your clothes and let this guy fuck you."

"No," I said.

"Why not?" he screamed. "Which one is it? Either she's not sexy enough for you. Or you're some kind of faggot."

"Or..." I began.

"Or what?" he asked. "Don't worry about it, fruit loops, I'll handle this. "Gary, Michael, do me a favor. Fuck my stupid wife."

"Or maybe, I love her," I said. "Maybe you don't deserve her. Maybe she needs someone who wants to be with her and not just for the sex."

Serena screamed then loud and long. "Nooooooooo, Stephen. This is not what I wanted."

"Maybe we're all just with the wrong people," I suggested. "Maybe we should just all be with the people who are more like us."

"But your wife is a whore," he spat. "Every guy in the club has fucked her mouth, her pussy and her ass. I don't think there's a single guy here who'd want to do anything other than fuck her then run. You have to be crazy to even suggest that shit."

"Maybe he is," said Donna quietly. "But he's also right. I love him too. I've indulged your bullshit for as long as I intend to. I'm filing for a divorce in the morning."

"Maybe you guys should all go home and think about this some before anyone does anything stupid," said one of the club's officers. "That's why we have rules against spouses watching each other. It all just turns into jealousy and ruined marriages. That's not what we want here. Maybe we'll have to consider revoking all of your memberships."