Ferris Bueller's Night Out

"That's the beauty of it, Jeannie. I always have, and this way we always will be."

"That doesn't make sense, Ferris, and you know it. What's the real reason? Cameron?"

"I'd like him to be happy, for once in his life. She's always been the only thing that would make him happy."

"You love him that much?"

"I guess so, in a way, anyway. He was the one person I always felt most comfortable around when we were growing up. I think I always wanted to just grow old with him, sit around and read books by a fireplace somewhere. I always thought I'd be happiest if I knew he was around. Weird, isn't it?"

"Have you? I mean, are you...?"

"No, no, that's not it at all. I'm not attracted to men...and never have been?"

"Just to him?"

"No. Again, I'm not talking about something physical, nothing like attraction; it's more about knowing what happiness means to yourself, where it comes from and accepting what is. Knowing he was happy always made me happy back then. Still does."

"I don't get it."

"Did you ever see that film about C S Lewis and Joy Davidman?"

"Shadowlands? Yes, but that was his brother, Ferris?"

"Yes, and Cameron's always been my brother."

"Oh." And his sister nodded her head. "I guess I understand. Geez, married – right here – in this room."

"Yup. Think you can stick around that long?"

"I wouldn't miss this for the world, Ferris. Oh no, not for the world."

"Mind if I give you your Christmas present now. I know it's a little early, but..."

"Sure."

He went to the entry closet and got his bag, opened it up and took the package to her. "I was going to mail it, then I got that call from mom and didn't know what to do," he said as he handed it to her.

She looked at the wrapping. "Hermes?"

He looked away, looked at the Christmas tree as she opened the present, heard her gasp, then cry.

"Oh Ferris, it's gorgeous..."

"I know it's just another scarf..."

"Nope, this is anything but 'just another scarf.' Oh Ferris, thank you so much."

"Ferris, would you do me a favor?"

He nodded his head. "Anything. Any time."

"Ashes. Grand Canyon. North Rim. And white roses. Whenever you think of me, think of white roses, and throw one with my ashes."

"Okay. I promise."

He looked at the Christmas tree lights dancing in her eyes, and after a moment he turned and looked away, wiped a tear or two from existence. He thought about a world without his kid sister in it, and as he watched her leave he wondered if he could accept so much heartbreak in one night – then he thought about Deborah and an impossible emptiness swept aside all his fears.

+++++

And she passed a week later. Two nights after Cameron and Sloane tied the knot. Two days after she watched her brother stand beside his best friend, after her father stood with Sloane and gave her away. After all their friends came to her and said their goodbyes.

Her parents were with her, of course, but so was Ferris and his two best friends. And the love of her life stood back in shadowlands of her own, hiding her fear, her disbelief, but she too watched as Jeannie Bueller passed from this life and on to the next. She too watched the smile form on Jeannie's face as her eyes closed that last time.

Maybe Deborah would have been surprised to see those last thoughts forming in Jeannie's mind. Wind-blown, sun on bare shoulders, she was on a motorcycle headed south, her arms wrapped around her brother's waist, her face resting on his back. She was free at last, and she'd never been happier.

He was holding her hand as his sister left, and he felt her squeeze as that last smile came to life, and he felt the night pushing in as he never had before.

+++++

He felt the sun on his wings as he turned on a breeze, and he caught a thermal and soared higher and higher, looking down on the rim of the canyon and the river far below. The red-rocked earth seemed small from up here, small to the point of insignificance, but he looked out at his wings and knew he was wrong. His survival depended on these wings, on his eyes, on his ability to see prey in the rocks far below, to streak down and snatch life away to sustain his own, but even so he looked out over the vast canyon and banked into an even steeper turn...

– chime –

"Ladies and gentlemen, we'll be landing in Los Angeles in just a few minutes, and the captain has just turned on the seat belt sign, so it's time to stow your tray-tables and bring those seats backs all the way forward. It's 68 degrees and foggy at the airport, 90 degrees downtown with nothing but sun, and it looks like we're going to be at the gate about five minutes ahead of schedule. We'd like to thank you for flying Virgin America this morning, and we hope to see you again real soon..."

Ferris shook the cobwebs from his mind and lifted the window shade, looked out over the endless city floating-by down below. Everything seemed adrift in an ocean of brown haze, then he turned and looked at Cameron and Sloane sitting across the aisle, still hand in hand, still chatting away non-stop. Cameron still happier now than he could ever remember, Sloane still a mystery, all intent cloaked behind veils of inscrutable imagination.

A little jolt, whirring thumps as the landing gear dropped to meet the earth again, flaps drooping, the palpable feel of slowing down very pronounced now, freeway traffic on the 405 moving – naturally – at a crawl, then the runway...and another easy, uneventful touchdown. The roar of thrust, then a slow taxi to the gate on the far side of the terminal complex, and Cameron was on the phone as soon as the wheels hit the ground, talking in hushed tones to God only knew who; Sloane looking at Ferris now, a sly grin on her face.

Once they were out the Jetway Cameron leaned over: "Ferris, you remember Mary Simmons?"

"The woman in My African Dream? Yeah. Sure."

"Well, I've been trying to get the studio to agree to her for the part of the mother in Voyager. Anyway, she's here, in the limo, and is going to ride home with us, then go out to lunch. Hope you don't mind."

Ferris Bueller felt his palms start to sweat, a hammering pulse in his forehead. "No, I don't mind," he stammered.

And now Sloane's grin was huge.

The limo driver got their bags and led them out to the VIP lot, and Cameron got the door for Sloane and let her climb in, but then he shut the door behind her and turned to Ferris. "Sorry about this, but it's something I really can't put off any longer. She meets with the studio tomorrow morning, and I want to go over things with her today."

"Like I said, Cam, no problem."

"Oh, just in case you start wondering, she's single. But she's fierce..."

"Right."

"So be careful. She's one of those Ivy League types...smart as hell, and she can spot a phony from three miles off."

"Right."

Cameron opened the door and stepped in, and Ferris followed. The only open seat was next to Simmons, and he said "Hi there!" as he plopped down and fiddled with his seat belt.

"Who's this?" the actress said, clearly annoyed.

"Mary?" Cameron said. "This is Ferris Bueller. Ferris, say Hello, Mary."

"Hello, Mary."

"Is he an actor? He looks like a fucking actor."

"No, Mary, he's a fucking astronomer."

"An astronomer?"

"He's also been my best friend since kindergarten, so be nice to him."

"Oh."

Ferris noticed Sloane looking at the woman just then, looking at the actress almost possessively, like she was judging the woman.

"So, Mr Bueller..."

"Mary," Cameron sighed, "it's Doctor Bueller. He's a professor, and the University of Hawaii."

"Really? Fascinating. We filmed at all those observatories on the volcano once. Were you there then?"

"I was, one day anyway," Ferris said. "You were in Keck I, looking at the alien mothership, if I'm not mistaken, through the ten meter. And I was trying to get ready to make some observations that evening, watching all the excitement."

"And very put out, I assume?"

"No, no, not in the least. It was – fascinating, watching all the action, and I was fascinated watching you, too."

"Oh, really?"

"Of course. When you've had a crush on someone for twenty years, and then finally see them, if only in passing... Well, anyway, you made an impression on me."

"Did I?"

"Yes, but I think Cameron is drumming his fingers right now because he wants to talk to you. Cameron, be nice and stop throwing hate bombs at me. I've still got papers to grade." He pulled out the FedEx package and pulled out the next exam in his stack and began reading through the essays...

And an hour later they pulled into Cameron's driveway in Malibu. Ferris had been there a few times, but the house, and the house's setting, were still as overwhelming as the first time he'd seen them. Long and low, perched on a series of rock ledges, the house seemed to have grown out of the rock itself, but that was to be expected. Cameron had grown up in an architectural masterpiece, so he'd inherited a fine sense of design from his father.

Yes, of course there was a red Ferrari in the garage, but it was parked next to an old, tan Chevy Impala, built sometime in the mid-80s – though still in excellent condition. That's what he drove to work, or so he'd told Ferris once. Nothing flashy, nothing ostentatious, just reliable transportation that didn't draw attention. No flashy watch on his wrist, just an old Timex, and never more than a few bucks in his wallet. That was Cameron. Midwest values, as incorruptible now as they had been in grade school. Ferris led the way out of the limo into the salt-laden beachfront air and stretched lis legs.

"Oh God," Sloane said, her voice full of evident relief, "the sun! Feel that sun! I forgot how much I hate winter, and – snow!"

"I hate to rain on your parade," Cameron said as he stepped into the light, "but we've got reservations in an hour, and a forty five minute drive to get there. Could we get the bags inside and head back out?" he asked the limo driver.

"Uh, Cam, mind if I stay here? I want to get through this stack of exams...?"

"Why yes, Ferris, I do mind. Put your fucking papers in your fucking room and get in the fucking limo!"

"Whoa, who's this? The assertive Cameron? I had no idea he existed," Ferris said, smiling. "Sloane, you may have bitten off more than you can..."

"Oh, don't worry Ferris," she said. "I can chew him just fine."

"Interesting friends you have here, Dr Bueller."

"You have no idea," Ferris said to the actress.

"Come on," she said, "get your stuff inside, then I want you tell me your sexiest story about heavy metal concentrations in Type II globular clusters."

And Mary laughed when she saw the look on his face. "Google's a wonderful thing, Ferris Bueller," Mary said as she turned and disappeared inside the limo, leaving a very confused Ferris standing out there under the sun.

+++++

She was an interesting sort, he decided sometime during their lunch together. All business with Cameron one minute, then playful, almost flirty the next – when she turned her attention to him, anyway. Once, when she excused herself, Cameron smiled at Ferris as he stood and helped Mary with her chair...

"I think she likes you, Ferris," Sloane said, grinning inscrutably once again.

"Yes," Cameron added, "but the real question is, does Ferris Bueller like Mary Simmons?"

"Oh, he does," Sloane said. "Notice how he has to keep wiping his hands? He's got sweaty palms, and we know what that means, don't we?"

"Oh yeah. Remember Mrs Dunsworth, in fourth grade?"

"The one who always wore those sky-high heels?"

"Yup, she's the one. That was a real sweaty palms year, wasn't it, Ferris?"

Bueller shook his head. "You're never going to let up on me about Dunsworth, are you?"

Cameron turned to Sloane. "All year long, every time we got to gym he was popping wood..."

"Well, you have to admit," Ferris interjected defensively, "she did have great legs."

"What do you think of Mary's?" Sloane asked. "I mean, tennis shorts and gym socks aren't the sexiest thing..."

"Oops, here she comes," Cameron whispered, though he smiled when Ferris hopped out of his chair again to help her in. And he noticed that Mary had taken note, as well.

'This is going better than expected,' Cameron said to himself, but even so he wondered if Mary would be a good match. Still, it just wouldn't do to have Ferris live this way much longer, as he was in real danger of becoming used to living alone. No, that wouldn't do, and even Sloane had said as much last summer...

+++++

He took her hand and helped her out of the limo, yet she didn't let go after she was clear of the door.

"So, you're going to be in town only a few more days?" she asked.

"Until Friday, while Cam and Sloane run up to Oregon for some of her things."

"How about dinner tomorrow night? Just you and me?"

"That sounds fun. Where'd you like to..."

"Oh, just you leave that to me. How 'bout I pick you up around three or so?"

"Sounds good," he said, yet still she didn't let go of his hand.

"Good," she said. She was staring at him, like she was coming to a decision, then she leaned in and kissed him, just once, and gently, on the lips – then she turned and ran up he walk to her house.

"Jesus H Christ, Ferris," Sloane said with a smile as he got back in the limo. "Was that on the lips?"

"Yup."

"Not bad, Bueller," Cameron sighed. "She's got kind of a Star Trek reputation around Hollywood. You know, where few men have gone before?"

"You could have warned me, Cameron. She irresistible, you know?"

"I know, but this has been too much fun...watching you squirm, hide your woody; and besides, you've got papers to grade, remember?"

Bueller groaned as they pulled into Cameron's driveway, when he saw another FedEx package leaning against the front door. He rolled his eyes, knew what lay ahead, because those were the term papers from his senior seminar, just waiting for his perusal.

Cameron laughed just then. "Maybe it's time you finally left school, Ferris. You know, get a real job, in the real world."

"You call what you do the real world?"

"Hey, it beats working for a living."

"Uh-huh. Sure," Bueller said as he picked up the package.

"Heavy enough for you, Ferris?"

"Oh, why don't you two go make some babies or something...?"

+++++

He walked out onto the deck sometime during the evening, saw Cam and Sloane down on the beach with a fire going, and he stood there and looked at them for a while. He thought they looked happy, like they belonged together. Like time had stopped for them, once upon a time, and had only just now restarted – then he saw their faces in the firelight and he drifted back to other nights. Summer nights at the beach on the lake. Tower Road, wasn't it? The little park by the water's edge, with all the fire-pits? How he'd watched her there, the way her face danced in the firelight.

He watched her now, Cameron too, and in the flickering light it was as if nothing had ever changed. Time had stopped for all three of them.

"Maybe now time can begin again," he said to the night.

"For me, too."

+++++

She pulled up a little before three, in an E550 Cabriolet, and he came out the door dressed in a sport coat and slacks.

She hopped out of the Mercedes – wearing shorts, running shoes and a golf shirt – and came up to him. "Sorry, I should have warned you. We're going casual tonight. Have you got any shorts?"

"I've got some gym shorts? Will that do?"

He ran in the house and changed as fast as he could, then reset the alarm and bounded out the door for her car. He looked at his phone, confirmed the alarm was set and got in – just as Mary dropped the top – and once he was belted in she pulled out onto the PCH and made for Sunset Boulevard, then headed south on the 405.

"Where to?" he asked.

"Disneyland!"

"What? Seriously?"

She grinned like a fool as she made her way to the fast lane, her hair fanning out in the slipstream. "I always wanted to go on a first date to Disneyland," she said over the subdued roar, "and I figured nobody would ever think that's something that I'd like, so I'd just have to make it happen."

"You're probably right," he said, "but I can see the appeal."

"Can you?"

"Yup. We went to Disney World a couple of times when I was a kid, but Cameron took us to the 33 Club out here once, a few years ago, then we hit a few rides. I like it out here more, I think. The weather's nicer."

She shrugged. "Anyway, I wanted this to be our first date."

He looked at her as she drove along, then he looked down at her legs for a moment, then her hair. "You know, I think you're better looking now than you were twenty years ago."

"Oh?"

"Well, I was madly in love with you, all through the nineties, anyway?"

"What happened to us?"

"Grad school, then Hubble."

She laughed. "I guess I was no match for a space telescope, huh?"

He laughed too. "Nothing has been."

"Nothing? You mean, as in – no one?"

"As in no one."

"How long has it been?"

"Been? Since what?"

"Since you've been with someone?"

He leaned back, looked up at a passing cloud. "I don't know. I'm pretty sure it was before Obama. Maybe Clinton...?"

"You've got to kidding! How on earth...?"

"You know who runs one of the biggest networks of observatories in the world? The Vatican, and for good reason, too. Astronomy is a breeding ground for celibacy, because we do all our best work at night, while every one else is home..."

"Makin' babies."

"Exactly."

"So, you're saying it's been ten years since you popped your cork?"

"Probably. At least."

"Does it still work?"

"I think so. Why?"

"Well, just so you know, but before the night's over that's gonna happen, so wrap your head around that."

"It is?"

"As a red-blooded American female, Ferris, it's my sworn duty. Twice, at least."

"And we have to go to Disneyland?"

She laughed hard now. "You're goddamn right we have to. I told you, I want our first date to be one for the history books."

"Ya know, Mary...I think it already is."

She smiled, then turned serious. "I spent all morning over at Paramount. Looks like I've got the part, if I want it, anyway, so I wanted to ask you something."

"Sure, fire away."

"You're familiar with Now, Voyager? The Bette Davis film?"

"Yup."

"Well, Cameron's idea is an update, set in current times, with me playing the mother, the part Gladys Cooper played."

"Uh-huh..."

"Well, my concern is simply this. I've never played anyone so utterly and sincerely evil before. Not once, and I'm afraid it could be a career wrecker for me."

"I'd think it would almost have to be fun, but I see what you mean."

"Do you?"

"Sure, but people know you, know what you're capable of. I think most people would just see this as simply extending your range, and maybe having a little fun along the way. And let's not even mention that you look about half Cooper's age..."

"You know, Ferris, if say one more flattering thing to me I'm going to pull over and give you a fucking blowjob, right here on the side of the road!"

"Did I mention you have the legs of a twenty year old?"

She almost lost control of the car at that point, then settled down again. "So, could I ask you something off the wall?"

"Sure. Why not?"

"You find me attractive?"

"Are you serious?"

"Yes, Ferris, I'm serious. I'm also needy, insecure, and more than a little narcissistic. You have to be in this town, but yes, I'm really serious."

"Cam and Sloane know me better than anyone else in the world...well, maybe my mother knows me better...but they razzed me yesterday about my sweaty palms."

"Sweaty palms?"

"Since I was a kid, whenever I see a really gorgeous woman I get sweaty palms."

She thought about that one for a moment. "And I gave you sweaty palms?"