Finder's Keepers

Beth would be matron of honor. My brothers would be the groomsmen. Beth got three other women to become Mira's new friends and bridesmaids. I stayed out of as much of the planning as I could.

Driving the tractor one day I had a thought and called Mira at the house. Then, with her approval, I called Tommy and asked him to be one of the groomsmen. Mira called and asked Beth to be a matron or bridesmaid or whatever but Beth said she couldn't. Mira tried to talk her into it and failed. Beth was just too nervous and shy.

One of Momma's friends made the dresses for Mira and Momma. She made them from looking at a picture they found in a magazine and adapting it to the two bodies of the two women. Dad got a dark gray suit and I got a lighter gray suit.

Even though it was November the day was sunny and warm. Mostly everyone in town was at the wedding. My brothers had come home. Momma tried to cook for everyone and probably would have if my brother's wives and every woman in town hadn't stopped her. The reception was pot luck, but Mildred Cummings the pastor's wife organized it and it was well coordinated. She knew who made the best potato salad and asked her to bring it. She knew who made the best of each thing she wanted at the reception and that's who brought it. I think Matt finally got full.

It lasted about an hour. Then I saw Matt and Jeremy splitting an apple pie and a quart of ice cream.

As everyone was eating Mira and I changed clothes and snuck out of town. I left Momma a note so she would know we left on purpose. We went to Boston for a week. Neither of us had ever been there, didn't know anyone there and we hadn't talked to anyone at home about Boston. Mira asked what there was to do in Boston. I gave her a list.

"We can tour all the historical sites. We can stay in our room and play naked games. We can go to a Patriot's game. We can stay in our room. We can eat in different restaurants. Stay in our room. Go for a boat ride. Go to museums, art galleries, see some movies or we could stay in our room."

We did lots of those things. When we checked into the hotel I saw that we could get a massage for Mira. She loved it! The therapist taught me how to do some massage to help her with the last part of the pregnancy. We didn't go to a football game.

When we got home there was a note on our bedroom door. "Took Momma to hospital. Come." It was not signed or dated. We didn't unpack we drove to the hospital. As I drove Mira turned on the cell phone and called the hospital. When she hung up she said, "She is awake. They took her tonight at about six. Dad thinks it might have been a heart attack."

By ten that night we knew it was a mild heart attack. The doc wanted to keep her for a couple days to make sure she "was out of the woods." Dad stayed by her side. Mira and I went home. When the alarm went off at five I was in charge of the farm by myself for the first time in my life. My brothers weren't there. Dad wasn't there. Mom wasn't there. As I took care of the barn and Mira made breakfast I knew this was to be our life. This was a taste. The meal was on it's way.

I carried the cell with me all day. Mira stayed in the house, close to the phone. At noon she found me and we ate together and held each other for a little while. Not much was said.

At six I listened to the news as I drove back to the barn. It was eight before I stepped inside the house. Dinner was on the table. Mira served us and sat next to me. We talked softly, mostly about Momma and our concerns for both her and Dad.

At quarter to nine I called the hospital. Dad answered. We talked mostly about the farm. When I asked about Mom he answered with short statements. "She's doing Ok." "Doc's not as worried tonight as he was yesterday."

We were in bed by nine-thirty. Mira was very tired. I was emotionally exhausted worrying. The phone rang before the alarm woke us. Mira reached for the phone and I said, "It's for me." She let me answer.

"Momma's gone." Dad's sad voice said. The connection ended. Mira held me and we cried. When the alarm went off she shut it off and we got up. The words I'd heard Momma say rang in my ears, "The animals don't care about holidays or anything, they just want to be taken care of."

When they were handled we drove to the hospital. As we drove the first wisps of snow fell. Winter had arrived. Dad was sitting on a chair outside Momma's room. His color was gone. For the first time since he became an adult Dad was alone. His wife, his companion, his partner was gone.

Mira sat beside him and wrapped her arms around him. He looked, first at her and then at me. "I wouldn't let them take her until you'd come. I said my good-byes." He gently disengaged from Mira and sent us inside.

The room was empty. Her body was there but Momma was gone. I held Mira and said, "If you weren't here for me to hold onto right now I'd be totally lost and alone."

"I'm here. Hang on."

We held on and I have no idea how long we stood in the room. When we were ready we walked outside. Dad was signing papers at the nurse's station. Mira hugged him and with me on one side and Mira on the other we got him out to my truck. Tommy met us in the parking lot and he drove Dad's truck home. Beth followed in their truck. Tommy brought a six pack into the house and he, Dad and I drank two each.

Beth and Mira talked in the kitchen.

They left for home before eleven. Dad slept in the living room on the couch. Mira and I went to bed and I'm sure we slept a little. At five the alarm sounded and another day began. Mira found dad sitting at the kitchen table when she went there to start breakfast. She made coffee first.

I went to the barn and dad followed me. He went through the motions but he wasn't there. When the bell rang for breakfast he sat on a hay bale and cried. He didn't need to say anything. All my life Momma had rung that bell. She would never ring it again.

My feet got me inside and to my chair. Mira looked at me and said, "How do you feel, my husband?"

"Like suddenly I have to be the man. I've wanted it my whole life and now that it's here it just hurts."

"Remember something, Ok? You are not alone."

"How do you feel? You rang the bell this morning. Yesterday that was Momma's bell, now it's yours."

Tears flowed down her cheeks. "She told me she loved ringing the bell because it was her way of telling both of you she loved you. I said it this morning."

Dad came in as I finished breakfast. As soon as he sat down he looked at me and asked, "What would you like me to do today?"

It was the first time he had ever asked. The farm was now mine. The house was Mira's. He had traded places with me. For the three years he lived with us he never made a move to take it back. He was all the help and wisdom anyone could ask for and that morning he gave me the farm.

Beth and Tommy named their little boy Nicholas. Pete and Mira named their little girl Emma the next year. Dad thought she looked at lot like Momma. I think she looks a lot like her Momma.