Finding You Bk. 02: Paradigm Shift

"I don't care if you never find work or pay me a dime, my parents give me ridiculous amounts of guilt money to spend, so it isn't a problem and Diego owns the condo and he doesn't care that you are living in it. And let me tell you something about Marcus, he doesn't give a two-penny shit that you're still unemployed, sweetie, or that he sees anything broken or tainted. He just wants to see you...like in the worst way! He's been as friendly as a bear with a thorn in his paw for a month, but stayed away so that you wouldn't feel pressured. Trust me, honey; he wants to see you...more than he wants to take his next breath."

"I don't know, Petra. I'm a little freaked about going to a sex club and just the thought of seeing Marcus again makes my stomach churn with nerves."

"Just your stomach? That blush on your face says other things are reacting as well."

Tabby felt the heat in her cheeks spike. "Shut up, Pet."

Petra laughed and took Tabby's hand in hers. "Yes, Elysium is a sex positive establishment but it's also a really cool nightclub with dancing, a bar and a restaurant. You will undoubtedly see couples engaging in BDSM play or having sex outright, but everyone is very, very respectful. Nobody is going to force you to do anything that you do not wish to do. Trust me. The first time you go, it's like seeing a circus for the first time in your life - really, really cool and really, really mind-blowing, but in an exciting way." She paused to give Tabby a minute to process.

"Please Tabs, I don't want to sit around by myself like some sorry idiot. If you're there then Diego will let me dance and wander around with you, having fun while he's working. Plus, you haven't been out, except to go job hunting, since...well, since Jerry attacked you. Don't you think it's time to get back into your life again, sweetie?"

Their conversation halted when their food arrived. After thanking the server, Tabby picked up a hot fry and bit into it all the while, keenly aware of Petra's questioning gaze on her. She dropped the half-eaten potato back onto her plate and sighed.

Petra was right. In her heart, Tabby knew that what her best friend had said was the truth. Even though she had convinced herself that she had put the attack behind her, she knew that she was still hiding, still scared. The first time she had left the apartment, a few days after the attack; her knees had been shaking so badly that she had barely made it to the coffee shop a block away before the panic had gotten the better of her and sent her running back with her tail between her legs.

The next time she forced herself to venture out, almost a full week later, she had made it to the bus stop but her anxiety had turned her into a nervous wreck. She didn't make it to go job-hunting that day and ran back to the apartment in tears.

Needing a newspaper had given her a purpose to leave the safety of her apartment every morning. If she wanted a job, then she needed the classified pages to see what, if anything was available. It became a little easier every day until she was able to actually get on the bus and start her hunt for employment. As each day passed and nothing bad had happened, her confidence grew and the fear receded, but she always made sure to return home before dark and lock herself safely behind closed doors.

To go to the party with Petra, meant venturing out in the dark and Tabby was almost more afraid of that prospect than of going to the BDSM club and facing Marcus.

It's the next step. You can't hide for the rest of your life and Petra's right; you need to get your old life back!

Her inner voice had stepped up and helped Tabby to swallow her fear. Jerry was gone. The police were looking for him but so far, there hadn't been a single sighting of the vile man. She needed to put his evilness behind her and move on with her life. Besides, she wouldn't be alone, Petra would be with her and it had been a long time since they had gone out and had fun together.

Coming to a decision, Tabby nodded and gave Petra a conciliatory smile. "Okay. You win. I'll come." She picked up another french fry and pointed it at Petra, who was practically bouncing in her seat with happiness. "But you have to lend me something to wear! I have nothing suitable for a place like Elysium."

Petra winked at her, immensely relieved and excited. "I was hoping that you'd agree! You're gonna love Elysium, Tabs! I have the perfect dress guaranteed to set Marcus' pants on fire, girlfriend," she giggled.

Her brain and libido clashed like invading armies. "Let's not rush things, okay?"...is what came out of her mouth but she was intimately aware of the dampness gathering between her legs at the thought of seeing the tall, dark, excruciatingly handsome man whose image was burned into her memory. It was more than likely that it was going to be her panties that were going to up in flames when she saw him.

The two women enjoyed the rest of their dinner, gossiping happily and catching up with the happenings in their lives. Tabby excused herself to go use the ladies' room and Petra hurriedly took her cell phone out of her purse. With a beaming grin on her face, she typed out a simple message.

...Better get ready, Sir. Tabby said yes. She'll be at the party tomorrow.

CHAPTER 11

Sitting at his desk, trying to concentrate on the paperwork that needed dealing with, Marcus couldn't help shooting anxious glances at his silent cellphone. He had resisted the urge to pester Petra with repeated requests, but the suspense was eating away at him. It was Friday and he still hadn't heard whether she had managed to convince Tabby to come to with her tomorrow night.

He picked up his half-empty coffee cup and then placed it back down on his desk. The coffee had gone stone cold and his stomach wouldn't appreciate the harsh brew adding to the acid already churning it's merry way into giving him an ulcer.

He just happened to glance at his phone when the display lit up a split second before it blurted out a chime announcing that a new message had arrived. He grabbed it and hit the messaging icon, his heart dived bombed into his boots when he saw Petra's name appear as the sender. With a hesitant finger, Marcus touched her name and opened her text.

He read her message. Then he read it again. On the third reading, his brain finally processed the meaning of her words and a feeling of effervescent joy lifted the depression from him and warmed him from the inside out. He could feel the ear-to-ear grin split his face and wanted to whoop with excitement.

She was coming! His angel was actually coming. He'd be able to see her in less than 24 hours! Marcus felt like a little boy on Christmas Eve. Excitement bubbled and a profound sense of relief calmed the turbulent seas of his thoughts, leaving him lightheaded with happiness. He couldn't tear his eyes from Petra's words, thanking all that was holy that the wonderful woman had succeeded.

Cooper strode into the office holding two cold bottles of beer and did a double take at the expression on Marcus' face. "Hey man, you okay?"

Marcus looked up from his phone and for the first time in over a month, Cooper saw his old friend grinning back at him like a dumbstruck fool. He was holding his cellphone up in a way that reminded Cooper of a hockey player hoisting the Stanley Cup.

"She's coming! Petra actually did it, Coop!" Marcus' voice was rough and thick with emotion. "Tabby's coming with her tomorrow night."

Cooper took in the joy in his friend's face and, for a moment, let himself share in the shining hope that had washed the stress clean from Marcus' bright eyes. It only lasted a moment because the crushing reality that he was going to have to sit on the sidelines while Marcus got to be with Tabitha, slammed down onto him like a block of concrete. He wanted to feel that joy too and he wanted to be there, from the start, in making Tabby love and accept him as well.

Marcus may have had to wait a month for his moment to arrive, but Cooper may have to wait much, much longer and his prize at the end of that time just might be a broken heart.

"I'm happy for you, man. I really am." Cooper handed Marcus one of the bottles and then dropped heavily onto the old sofa.

Twisting off the cap, Marcus took a sip, his expression sobering upon seeing the fake happiness painted over Cooper dejected face. "You gonna be okay?"

"Do I have a choice? Does it matter that I want her almost as badly as you do?" he snapped, his frustration turning into anger.

"Fuck, Coop. This is the only way. You know that. You're the one who suggested it, remember?"

Cooper launched himself to his feet and began pacing, feeling like a caged tiger - a caged tiger that was about to be handed his testicles in a brown paper bag. "I know! Fuck me to death! I know it's the right thing to do, brother. However, knowing and living with it are two vastly different things. It's going to kill me to watch you with her, but I know that that is what I have to do for this insane idea to even have a fraction of a chance of succeeding."

Marcus stood and went around his desk, perching on the edge. "I'm sorry. I truly am. If she had any experience in the lifestyle, we could approach her together but I'm afraid if we did that now - or try to rush it - we're just going to freak her out."

Marcus blew out a breath and hung his head. "I need her, man. I don't think I can exist in a world where she's not a part of me. Fuck if I know why and fuck if I know how, but her tiny, perfect hand is wrapped around my fucking balls and a huge part of me couldn't be happier."

He jumped to his feet and strode across the office to where Cooper was standing. He pulled the big man close to him and rested their foreheads together. "Trust me, Coop. I saved your ass when we were kids and got you home safe from Afghanistan. Trust me again to bring her to us. You won't be on the outside for long, brother. Can you do that? For me?...For her?...For us?"

Cooper squeezed his eyes shut and remembered the many times that Marcus had had his back. Though not related by blood, the bonds that tied them together went deeper than any familial ones could ever go. Theirs was a bond forged in blood, war and trust. He did trust Marcus - with his life and with his heart.

"Yes. It's going to suck worse than a whore with a chipped tooth, but yes, I trust you. It was never a question of trust, Marcus. You gotta know that right?"

Marcus smiled and released Cooper. "Of course I do and don't think that I'm going to be keeping you at arm's length. She needs to get comfortable with you and get to know you. It will make what we want from her so much easier if she becomes accustomed to your presence before we get to that point."

"Is it gay that I'm excited as well as scared shitless right now?" Cooper gave a self-deprecating chuckle.

"Fuck! I'm right there with you. I've fucking cum so many times with her image in my head that I'm afraid that I'm going to blow my load as soon as I see her."

Cooper punched him in the shoulder. "Better wank off before you go to the party tomorrow...just to make sure."

"Fuck off, asshole!"

"Back at you, brother." He clapped Marcus on the shoulder and let the smile drop from his face in mock sternness. "Seriously though, better wank twice. We can't have you coming in your pants like a desperate teenager. You'll scare her away for sure."

Marcus barked out a laugh and pushed Cooper off him. "Get lost and let me finish this paperwork you idiot."

CHAPTER 12

Jerry got out of the shower and stretched the ache of exertion out of his back and arms. After drying himself off, he sat on the closed toilet seat and pulled out a roll of gauze tape from his shaving kit. He applied antibiotic ointment to his torn knuckles and awkwardly wrapped his left hand with his casted right. When he finished tending to his knuckles, he dusted his hands with baby powder and snapped on a pair of latex gloves, flexing his hands and admiring the strength and power in his muscles.

Despite his aching back and mashed knuckles, Jerry felt good...he'd even go as far as saying he felt fucking awesome. There was nothing like violence to invigorate a man.

"I guess the morons on TV are right," he said to his reflection in the steamy mirror. "Exercise does do a body good."

Laughing, he finished taping up his hand and resolved to protect his knuckles before going to work next time. A little bit of tape first would have saved him a set of busted knuckles. He grimaced. Now he'd have to wait at least another week before bagging himself another cunt to practice on; served him right for being an impatient idiot.

He'd made mistakes with the bitch, Tabitha, and it had costed him a functional dick. The other two whores he'd worked over were too stoned for him to bother hitting, so he'd saved the damage on his knuckles. This one tonight, though, she was the lucky one because his rage was running hot by the time she had gotten naked. Looking at those pictures of that miserable bitch had really lit a fire in him. Jerry decided to look at them more often, especially before a practice session - they gave him a huge boost in energy and incentive.

Every man needed a goal...didn't he?

Hitting the whore had felt good. Each punch had made him think of Tabitha and it had numbed the pain, allowing him to hit her even harder. A pang of regret robbed him of some of his pleasure. He really wished that he'd been somewhere where he could have heard her screams. The washcloth stuffed into her mouth and duct taped to her face, had muffled the pathetic animal sounds she'd tried to make and eventually, her own blood had muted her even more.

Pity, he thought. Maybe if he could have listened to her screaming, his useless dick would have perked up. No matter, he was going to make sure that when he finally got his hands of that conniving bitch, she and he were going to spend quality time together. It would be somewhere where he would be able to hear her scream until he beat her to death and fucked her while she drowned on her own blood.

Paybacks are a bitch baby and he was looking forward to collecting.

Jerry got himself dressed, collected up the bloodied towels from the bathroom then pulled on a pair of rubber gloves; he used a clean towel to wipe down every surface he could find in the motel room, removing any trace of his presence. He gathered his things and stuffed everything back into his black duffle bag, double-checking everywhere to make sure that he hadn't missed anything.

At ten after midnight, he walked past the bed and stopped on his way out to admire his handiwork. The body lying on the bed was unrecognizable. All that was left of the prostitute was a mass of wet meat, torn, bloodied and gurgling on its last breaths as she slowly drowned on her own blood and teeth.

"Thanks for the good time, bitch," he sneered as he walked out the door and locked it behind him. He strode into the parking lot, threw his gear into the car he'd stolen earlier that morning and drove out of the motel's driveway feeling happier than he had in days.

Yup, he thought. There's nothing like some vigorous exercise to put a smile on a man's face.

CHAPTER 13

Saturday passed by in a blur of activity as Petra and a dazed Tabby made the rounds of appointments she had booked for them. They went from the salon to the spa where attendants primped and fussed over them in preparation for the big party that evening. There were manicures, pedicures, haircuts and parts of their bodies waxed bare that Tabby would rather forget...as soon as the damned stinging stopped. How she had let Petra convince her into getting a full Brazilian wax, she had no idea but once the woman had spread the hot wax on, there was only one way that sticky mess was coming off.

In the course of its removal, Tabby discovered that she had a whole host of curse words in her vocabulary that she didn't even know she knew. Petra had never laughed so hard and one of the makeup technicians actually gave her hell in rapid fire Filipino because her tears of amusement had made her makeup run.

Tabby inspected her newly bared pussy as soon as they got home. It looked odd to her but now that her skin had stopped smarting, she had to admit that she rather liked the feel. She ran a curious hand over her mound, loving how soft and smooth the skin was now. It had felt weird when she had put her panties back on; cotton sliding over her hairless skin had made her shiver with the sensation.

She wondered if Marcus would like it bare.

Her startled eyes darted up to meet her mirror image and she blushed.

As if he was going to see it! She chided herself and turned away from the mirror feeling embarrassed and worried. A secret weighed heavily on Tabby's conscience, surrounded by a web of dread of what would happen if Marcus found it out.

He wouldn't want her when he discovered how truly inexperienced she really was. All Tabby could do was hope and pray it would never come to that...even though it was all she could think of since learning that he was still interested in her. He'd think her as childish as her newly waxed pussy and would laugh as he ran as far as he could from her.

One thing that Tabby was good at, was acting. She'd fake it until she could make it...as the saying went. As much as she was terrified of Marcus finding out her secret, every fiber in her body craved seeing him again.

He was the flame and she was the moth, defenceless to prevent getting her wings burned by his deadly attraction.

Tabby slipped her robe on just as Petra knocked on her bedroom door.

"Come in," she called out, tying the sash around her waist.

Petra's blonde head poked in through the half-opened door. "You decent?"

"Just. A minute earlier and you would have gotten an eyeful of my ass."

Petra stepped in, holding a garment bag and a shoebox in her arms. "Shame," she pouted. "You have a fantastic ass, girlfriend!"

Tabby raised a questioning eyebrow at her, making Petra giggle. "Don't give me that look. I can appreciate a fine ass, whether it's on a man or a woman."

"Just when I think I have you figured out..." Tabby laughed, shaking her head.

Petra winked at her and dangled the garment bag enticingly in front of Tabby. "You ready to make Marcus drool?" She spread the garment bag out on the bed and unzipped it. Tabby peered around Petra trying to get a look at her mystery dress, hoping it wasn't going to be too risqué. When Petra opened up the bag and lifted out the dress, Tabby sucked in shocked breath.

"Oh...wow!" She breathed, staring at the beautiful, red silk dress in awe.

"Do you like it?" Petra asked, as if the wide-eyed look of delight on Tabby's face wasn't answer enough.

Tabby nodded her head, speechless at her friend's gift. "It's...it's gorgeous, Pet. I can't believe you're lending this to me." Her words were no sooner out of her mouth when she caught sight of the white tag dangling from the side of the dress. Petra noticed the puzzled crease that appeared on Tabby's forehead and quickly surmised what had happened.

"Please don't argue about this, okay? None of my stuff would have suited you and I really wanted you to have something special to wear tonight." Petra grabbed for the tag and gently snapped the thin plastic hanger. She cursed herself for not remembering to remove it before and hoped that Tabby wouldn't let her damnable pride prevent her from accepting the present.

Embarrassed at being the recipient of Petra's charity once again, Tabby opened her mouth to protest but shut it when she saw the raw sincerity on her friend's face. Instead of ruining the moment, Tabby smiled graciously and hugged Petra tightly.