For All We Know

I started to gently and very slowly stroke in and out of her. She caught on almost immediately and started to mirror my movements. Our bodies were joined at both ends. Our tongues worked feverishly, while our reciprocating genitals danced below them.

At the bottom of each gentle stroke, the base of my dick pressed against her clit. After a while our movements became more feverish and she wrapped her legs around my waist, trying to push me to go faster. Her heels prodded the backs of my legs and my hips as she bucked her hips against me.

"Eric, this is way better than my vibrator," she gushed. "This is better than anything. I feel...I feel like I'm a balloon and I'm going to...Ohhh!...Ohhh! Eric....It's so hot...I'm going to burst open....Ahhh!...Oooh."

I continued to stroke her even after her climax and then pulled out and shot my sperm on her stomach. "Why'd you do that?" she asked, looking at me like I was crazy.

I looked back at her just as crazily. "Priya, do you realize what we just did?" I asked. "We are in sooo much trouble!"

"Why?" she asked.

"Remember, you're not mine. You're engaged to marry a prince. What about all of that shit about you being a virgin on your wedding night?" I said. "We're in trouble."

"Never ever say anything that God damned stupid again," she said sitting up and rubbing her stomach. She rubbed the sperm into her skin and then tentatively licked her fingers. Watching her do it was so arousing that I almost came again.

She settled back onto the sofa and wrapped her arms around me again. "We need to talk, Hon," she said.

"Oh so, now we're past the sweetheart and the Honey stage?" I asked. She just laughed.

"Eric, things are different now," she said. "Some things happened over the summer that I need to tell you about. But some of them are still the same. First off, never, ever say that stupid shit about me not being yours. I always have been yours and I always will be. I love YOU Eric. I'm going to marry Gustav but I love you. Gustav will have possession of my body, but my heart and my soul will always be yours."

"Second; I fell from a horse during the summer. I was examined by the palace doctors. Gustav told his father that no examination was necessary but his father, who isn't a part of the royal family, insisted."

"Gustav's father married a cousin of the royal family. So Gustav, by blood, is in line for the throne but his father isn't and never can be. Anyway, the palace doctor examined me and found that there was a tear in my hymen. She also determined that before the tear it had been intact and that I was a virgin. So on my wedding night, I'll pretend to be afraid and that I don't know what is happening. I'll cry a little bit and pretend that I'm sore for a few days afterwards."

"Following that, I'll complain and lie there like a rock every time that Gustav tries to have sex with me. I'll make it so awful that he'll give up after a while. Then he'll simply add more wives or perhaps a mistress or two." I was shocked.

"So why did you take your thing out and shoot your stuff on my tummy?" she asked.

"We'd already gone too far," I said. "I didn't want the risk of you getting pregnant."

"Eric, I wanted to feel it," she said. "I'm on the pill. I know that we can't get pregnant but it would be so nice to pretend that we could."

"Pree why..." I began.

"Because as much as I love you, it isn't up to us," she said. "If it were, I'd run off with you right fucking now. We'd finish school in a different place where they could never find us. But there are things that I have to do to make things better for women in my country. But, it's also because if I just ran off, it would be a terrible scandal, and my family would suffer. Eric, trust me. If the prince ever gets tired of my loud mouth or my constant demands for change and exiles me or throws me out of the country, I'll find you and if you're not already married to Amy or someone, we'll be together." I nodded my head.

"Priya, I'll never marry anyone else," I said.

"Don't be silly Eric," she said. "Life has to go on. Love has to go on. Love will survive, somehow, some way. I love you. So, more than anything else, I need for you to be happy for both of us. And if you do meet someone, don't hesitate. Plunge in with both feet and name one of your daughters after me. That would let me know that you remembered me. And love that little girl the way you love me."

"But for now Eric, All we've got is just a couple of years to call our own. That's all we have, for all we know." She winked at me and pulled my arms around her.

"I wish I wasn't so sore down there so we could do it again," she whispered. "Two years seems like a long time but it's going to go by in a heartbeat and I don't want to waste a second of it."

I was thinking about what she'd said and the risks she was willing to take for me. I felt like crying because no one that I knew, loved me that much, or ever had. I leaned over and kissed her and noticed that she'd fallen asleep. So I just lay there, holding the naked body of the person I loved most in life. I knew then that she would always think that I'd lied to her, but there was simply no way that any other woman on the planet could follow her.

Very early the next morning, she woke up and found me staring at her. "Did I drool?" she asked. "Do I snore very loudly?"

"Yep," I said. "But you're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen and I love waking up with you in my arms."

"I think you like waking up with that thing lodged next to my ass and my tits in your hands," she smirked.

"That too," I smiled. "Pree, we have to be in class in just over an hour and one of us has no fresh clothes."

"So the other one of us should get his ass in the shower, while I dress," she said. "Then he can drive me home and go and get me breakfast while I shower and change."

That was exactly what we did. I did get enough coffee and donuts for her roommates as well. Sarah and Terri looked at me as if they were examining me for any signs of change.

"Is this going to be a habit?" asked Terri.

"She looks really happy," said Sarah. "As long as she stays happy, I'm fine with it. He's happy too."

"I was talking about the breakfast," said Terri. "If he's going to bring us breakfast every time they have a...pajama party, he needs to find a different place to buy breakfast. We need bacon or ham or some kind of meat. All of these sugary carbs and we'll all be fat. We need some protein with breakfast and..."

"His protein is all mine," laughed Priya. "Get your own."

Things only continued to escalate until, Priya staying in my apartment, became the norm. The first year, the prince visited twice. Both visits were hard for me. Since she couldn't have the prince stay in her dorm because it was an all-female building, she stayed in his hotel with him and his retinue during the visits. I went crazy each time. I was angry and sullen from the time she left me to be with him until she came back to me. And each time it was worse.

All of her closest friends had met the prince and pronounced him to be a really nice man for a rich handsome prince. I couldn't do it. I literally hated the bastard and I just wasn't sure if I could keep it together around him.

Part of it was that I loved Priya so much that I was insanely jealous. I imagined that all along she'd never loved me and that she and the prince got together and fucked like bunnies and just laughed at me. I imagined them doing things that Priya and I never even thought of doing. I imagined them having three-ways with circus clowns, and Priya giving him blow jobs while hanging by her heels from a trapeze suspended over a pit of dog shit. My mind went crazy.

The second reason was because deep inside, I'd been raised to be an honest and moral person and no matter how you sliced it, I'm a cheater. I AM the other guy. Priya is in a committed relationship with this bastard and has been for almost twenty years. But every time he goes home, I'm fucking her like there's no tomorrow. Priya and I, once we'd gotten started, had explored every aspect of sex that two people could do. There were no orifices on her body that my tongue, fingers or dick hadn't been in.

We'd had to try to become more careful lately, because our lust often got away from us. Some of our closest friends knew what was going on between us, but didn't talk about it. The problem was, that we'd nearly been caught, by a few who thought that we were only friends without benefits the way we'd been the year before.

There was also still the problem that Priya was insanely jealous and would go off in a heartbeat. I did dance often with friends like Terri and Sarah and even Amy, but if things got a little closer than Priya liked, she'd snap.

The worst part was the summer. But this time we weren't out of contact. We texted and E-mailed each other constantly. Of course, her phone recognized my phone as belonging to her friend Erica, not Eric. That was just in case someone read her texts. We also had our own innocuous code messages. I don't care meant just the opposite. It meant I love you. And other things like that meant completely different things to us than to anyone else reading them.

We also stayed at school for three weeks past the end of the semester and went back two weeks sooner. That cut a nearly twelve week summer break, down to only seven weeks, and even then it was incredibly hard.

There were several surprises. I was at my grandmother's eightieth birthday party, when I absentmindedly answered my phone. Priya and I didn't call each other, just in case the calls were monitored.

"Hello," I said while watching grandma blow out the candles or trying to, after sucking in as much air as her frail old lungs could contain. I'd automatically turned up the volume on my iPhone so I could hear over the party. Unfortunately, they all got really quiet as Grandma got ready to blow out the candles and I'm sure the people closest to me heard Priya's clipped precise accent.

"Eric, I miss having you fuck me so much," she'd said. I quickly stepped out of the room and lowered the volume. Priya was calling me from a payphone while her family was vacationing in a nearby Russian city. Since the call was anonymous and she'd picked a payphone at random and during a time when no one was with her, she'd felt free to speak her mind. We had a great, although short, conversation full of reassurances that we both missed each other and still loved each other.

Of course I ruined it with my jealousy. I told her that I was sure the prince was taking care of her needs and since he was older and far more experienced, I was sure she didn't need me. She laughed at me and explained to me that she and the prince had never actually even kissed. They'd never hugged and except for formally holding hands at a ceremony or two they had never made any physical contact.

"And Eric, your hands feel better than his do," she'd said sarcastically. I felt so much better but not so much that I wasn't embarrassed beyond belief when I stepped back into the room and had my grandma and a few family members staring at me.

Our separation only seemed to make us even more desperate, when we did get back to school and back to each other. We both knew that this was our last year together. To make things worse, I found out that the prince would be acting as Pacmanistan's ambassador to the United States. The country had a queen who'd been educated here. She'd come to power when the last prince, her brother, had killed his father and tried to kidnap the US president's daughter.

"She really didn't want to be queen though and most were sure that she'd step aside for her cousin in a few years. That meant that Priya's prince would become a king, and she'd be a queen. In the meantime, he was traveling a lot all over the world and anticipated visiting Priya at least several times this year. It just seemed like every time I turned around, the bastard was underfoot. I saw him several times from a distance and as I've said, I hated him. The bastard was too smooth. He looked like fucking Pierce Brosnan, and he was too God damned nice.

He had a staff that followed him around, and like his cousin the Queen, he wanted to modernize things. Even some of his staff members were British or American. He had an assistant that floored me. She was tall and blond, and looked like a fucking supermodel, that followed him everywhere he went. Priya hated her as well. I told her that she was probably just jealous and she laughed.

"I'd only be jealous, if I actually wanted Gustav," she said. "She's welcome to him. I hate her because she's constantly staring at me."

"Maybe she's a lesbian," I whined. "Even other females want my woman."

"You got part of that right," she said. "I don't know about women wanting me, but I am YOUR woman."

"But seriously Eric, she's always trying to get me alone and talk to me, like we're fucking friends or something. I get the feeling that she's trying to catch me doing something I shouldn't be, so she can report me to the prince. It's like she's some kind of God damned spy. I hate that bitch. When I do marry him, my wedding present is going to be that he fires her ass."

Priya and I were so happy this year that I wanted to cry. If I'd thought that the previous year was incredible, this one was off the charts. We went everywhere together. She even came to my rehearsals with the band. I think that we both knew that out time was getting shorter and wanted to make the best of it.

We knew that each activity we did, might very well be the last time we did it together. Some things meant more than others. We went ice skating for instance, and it was almost too emotional. Some of our friends understood that it had been a skating party two years earlier that had brought us together.

Priya just couldn't seem to stop crying when it was time to go. It took her a few days to get the spring back in her step, both emotionally and physically after that.

As the weeks passed and spring neared, there was a sense of desperation to everything we did. For me it was different. I enjoyed everything we did, but I got angrier each time the prince breezed into town. I began to understand the mind of a terrorist. With my background in chemistry; especially the way the human body reacted to chemicals, I thought about bombs and poisons several times when Priya was away from me.

And each time that she came back, it took me longer to get over it. It wasn't fair. Priya was mine. But in the back of my mind, I knew that I'm the one who was wrong. If a man buys a car and can't drive it for a while, he might allow someone else to use it until he can. But the guy who bought the car, still owns it.

Everything I did this year outside of class was for or about Priya. Every song I wrote was about her. And I guess that's why this weekend hurts so damned badly. This is our last weekend together. Yesterday, we took our last finals. Today was Priya's graduation. She looked so beautiful and I never got the chance to tell her. For some reason, Prince Dickhead decided to show up.

He never comes into town for this. He's never been here for the last week of school. But I suppose it does make sense for him to be here to see his wife graduate.

HIS wife; just saying it pisses me off. Priya spent last night and the night before, with him. From what I've heard, their wedding will be very soon. One week from tomorrow, I understand, they'll be tying the knot.

I wonder if the future queen will wear the stupid heart that I gave her at her wedding. Or will she decide to put away childish things when she becomes a princess?

Wiping away my tears, I turn back to my song. I need a bridge and a chorus.

I string together some of the things Priya told me for my chorus and the song suddenly makes sense.

"Girl don't it seem like our judgment day is coming on,"

"Seems like trouble, is traveling all the way."

"All we've got is just a couple of years to call our own."

"That's all we have, for all we know."

I add a riff and a couple of different chord progressions together and craft a song to go with the lyrics. I play it a few times until it feels natural. I record it so I can play it for the guys tonight at rehearsal.

I got a few phone calls during the early evening from friends who want to know why I'd skipped Priya's graduation. I have no idea what to tell them. Sarah especially gets on my nerves when she reminds me that years from now, I'll wish with all my heart that I'd seen her one last time.

Amy called me, just so she could tell me that she told me so. "I warned you, Eric," she said. "I told you from the beginning that you were going to end up hurt and miserable."

"Okay, you were right Amy, bye," I said.

Terri called later to tell me how sorry she was that things didn't end up better for me. She also told me that she'll see me at my show the next evening.

Rehearsal went about as well as it always does. I played the new song for the guys and we played the music a couple of times. Mark, our vocalist thinks I should sing it. I immediately passed. He argues that the emotion I put into it will take the song over the top.

After that, rehearsal went the way it normally does. We spent about a half hour playing music and two hours drinking beer.

Most of the time after practice is over, Priya and I hung out with the guys or went out to eat. Tonight, my heart just wasn't in it and I packed my guitar and left after we got done.

I drove the Mustang back to my apartment and nothing seemed real. Even my normally loud exhaust system was more subdued. It's a clear sign that even my car missed Priya.

Once inside of my apartment, I just plopped down on my sofa. I didn't lie in my bed because there are fresh sheets on it. The sofa still has Priya's scent on it and I lay there taking it in. I wrapped myself in a blanket and in the darkness I let all of my emotions out.

I don't think I've ever been this desolate in my life. I felt like I had no reason to do anything. I started running every memory I have of our time together through my head. I think I had finally drifted off to sleep when I heard the door opening almost silently. I saw a person walking quickly towards my bedroom and I think thought I was being robbed. I heard a muffled sob and I knew that it was her.

"Priya, what are you doing here?" I asked.

"I miss you so much, Eric," she said.

"I love you Pree," I gushed.

"I hate you Erica," she said suddenly. "You ruined my fucking life."

I was shocked. "They found out that you're not a virgin?" I asked.

"No Honey," she smiled. "They're totally unaware of every nasty thing you've made me do. But how am I ever supposed to be happy without you in my life?"

"Pree, I have no life without you," I said.

"Eric...can we have one more night?" she asked. I didn't know what to say. I was thinking that another night would make things even worse.

"Eric, please don't give me any of that jealousy shit of yours," she screamed. "You won dammit. All he gets is an empty shell. Everything that makes me ME, belongs to you. This is just as hard on me as it is on you. I'm risking everything to sneak over here to see you. So can we please just have one more night of us loving each other? We don't even have to do anything if you don't want to. You can just hold me for awhile and..."

Priya was suddenly in my arms and we wasted no more time with words. Our clothes were thrown around the apartment and wound up in little clumps of mixed garments in our rush to touch each other one last time.

When I woke that next morning, she was already gone and the emptiness I'd felt the afternoon before had returned with a vengeance. She left me a note that told me to check the photos on my iPhone. She'd left me a series of pictures, some of them, extremely naughty; and the instruction that I was to look at one picture per day for the next three weeks. And I was to think of her when I did it. Then I was to get off of my ass and go out and find someone new.