Geoff and Marie, Lucy's Turn

Another rambling chapter in the increasingly weird everyday lives of a retired English couple. Despite their entanglements getting ever more complicated, there is some hope of a narrative thread if you read the stories in order. But the choice, dear reader, is always yours.

Although teenagers take speaking parts in the story, sexual encounters involve only adults over the age of eighteen.

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My name is Geoff. You'll probably find out my surname eventually, but not today. My wife and I took early retirement a couple of years ago; me from a ceramics research lab and Marie from the local university's modern languages department. We recently hit a bit of a bump in our marriage, but we survived and now we're closer than ever. The fallout, however, was unexpected; we both now find ourselves in a polyamorous relationship with eight other women. This is the next chapter in our story.

It was Thursday morning and I was having a lie in. Breakfast in bed even seemed to be a possibility. I'll admit to being a tad fatigued after my wife's sexual onslaught last night triggered, if you can believe it, by my offering to take one of her friends to the local adult store for some of their more niche products. To be honest, I'd been in there so many times lately that I was thinking of asking if they had a loyalty card scheme.

After some thought, I decided that breakfast in bed was always more appealing in theory than practice so I hauled my lazy, geriatric arse out of bed and into the bathroom. My wife, Marie, and I had 'entertained' two of her friends the previous evening; Megan, a retired solicitor, like us, in her sixties and Samantha, though she preferred to be called Sam, a paramedic in her early forties. Those two are part of my wife's group of six friends who, for reasons too complicated to repeat here, are invited to have sex with us, as in both of us, in pairs on a rota system every Wednesday evening.

Of course, once Marie opened that particular door, she then appeared to go critical and invited Margie and Sue, two single teachers in their fifties, back to our home from a dance the previous weekend for a quiet little orgy. "Well," she seemed to think, "Geoffrey," that's me, "capitulated eventually when I worked on him to have sex with six lonely women. Another two surely won't hurt." Actually, I was fine with it.

As if that wasn't enough, my wife and I have also developed a particularly deep attachment to one of her dearest friends, Angie. Now don't get me wrong; Angie and I as a couple would be a disaster. But Angie as part of my marriage to Marie is a great example of synergy. The three of us together are much more than the sum of us as individuals. For all she is a brilliant academic in her sixties, Angie is adorable; she has an almost child-like innocence and enthusiasm for life. In fact, we both love her so much that Marie proposed to her in the pub - while we were sober! Or nearly so. What did her proposal involve? Angie would be able to have sex with either me or Marie without the other's permission. She'd be part of our marriage. I'd say we were a throuple but my wife actually threatened me with violence if I ever used the word again in her presence.

Anyway, we all thought it was a great idea but then struggled to decide how to implement it. That was when Adrian, a student eavesdropping at the next table in the pub, suggested that we had a Jedi joining ceremony. Angie and I are Sci-Fi nerds so we were all over it: Marie not so much, but even she couldn't resist Angie's fervent pleas.

Sorry; went off at a bit of a tangent there. So... I decided to get up, showered and fed, before I helped Marie strip and remake the beds in the two rooms we'd used the previous evening, as well as remembering to clean and sanitise the sex toys that the girls had played with that night, before they were locked away until next time. I'd be on laundry duty that morning as my wife was volunteering at a charity shop in town until two.

While I was waiting for the washing machine to finish (I'd chosen a 40°C cycle: sex can be a bit sticky) I did my hunter/gatherer impersonation and rummaged in the fridge for something for our evening meal. Linda, our daughter, her teenage son, Colin and Angie, were eating with us that evening so I needed enough for five. I looked with shame at the piss poor assortment I'd salvaged from the produce shelf. We needed to shop soon, and preferably somewhere that sold vegetables rather than butt plugs!

So; sweet peppers, garlic, chorizo, chicken thighs and tomatoes. I knew that there were potatoes and onions in the larder and we had plenty of different herbs and spices, so tray bake it is. I prepped the veggies (I know: peppers and tomatoes are really fruit. You knew what I meant), trimmed the meat and measured out the paprika, herbs and salt for seasoning. An hour in the oven later that afternoon and no additional work. That's my sort of cooking. Time for a cuppa before the sheets needed to come out of the washer and then I could go for a run.

As I ran, I allowed my mind to wander. Whatever the consequences of our new lifestyle, we were committed now. We couldn't un-fuck the women who'd shared our beds. Megan and Sam were both still married and, though I hadn't yet had penile sex with Lucy, I didn't believe fingering her to one of the sweetest climaxes I'd ever seen was within the terms of most wedding vows. We didn't brag about our adventures, except here, but we hadn't been particularly discreet either.

I decided; our daughter needed to understand our new lifestyle. It was her son that saw Gran and Grandad kissing Aunty Angie. He would never see anything more than that, but Linda had a right to know and we'd have to negotiate an understanding if that was a problem for her. I resolved to speak to Marie about arranging for me to meet Linda after work to discuss it over a meal while my wife had her regular evening out with her pals.

Marie had promised to take the opportunity to ask the girls to allow her to pass on to me some of the more intimate details they had shared amongst themselves if, and only if, she believed that I needed to know. We all had baggage from our long lives. It was harder to respond sensitively to an issue in bed if I only found out about it after we'd already got our kit off.

Marie and Angie were going to meet in town this afternoon after my wife's shift, to look for a ring. I'd made a suggestion of what they should look for and, for once, Marie thought that it was brilliant. I have my moments. Anyway, if they found one, on Friday they were going to announce to their friends our, what? Engagement? I favoured betrothal: that had earned another smile. I thought I'd stop while I was ahead.

The 'wedding' planning was going to be interesting though. I was probably not going to be included, although Angie and I would certainly be the technical advisors on Star Wars lore. Marie was going to ask Lucy, a talented professional artist, if she would collaborate with our student friends on decorating some costume elements. Marie, for example wanted to look exactly like Bo Katan, an armoured female warrior. My wife was also tasked with asking Megan if she could personally, or through her contacts in the legal community, advise us on intellectual property rights. This was after all, intended to be a fun celebration, not an 'up yours', to large, well lawyered media corporations.

Without even realising it, my meditative run had brought me almost full circle, so I stepped up the pace towards my home, a shower and lunch.

I was bringing in the bedsheets from the washing line when my lovelies got home. Colin was inside doing his art homework alone as I'm afraid that art isn't my forté. From the way Angie bounced up the path like a tall, supple Tigger, I assumed that their mission had been successful. Marie followed behind at a more stately pace, but I could tell by her expression that she was pleased.

"Geoff! It's perfect," Angie enthused. "Show him, Marie!"

Marie finally caught up with our friend. "She's not wrong, Geoffrey," she admitted. "The moment we saw it, we knew that was the one." She felt into her handbag and took our a small square box.

"Just like you and me then," I reminded her, kissing the top of her head.

"You'll get anywhere saying things like that, you smooth devil," my wife smiled as she showed me our purchase.

"So what happens now?" I asked. It appeared that they were in the dark too. Did we give her it now, like an engagement ring? Or wait until the ceremony, like a wedding ring?

I decided. I took Angie's left hand and dropped to one knee. "Angela, you have added a new thread to the tapestry of our lives. Will you agree to be my betrothed?"

Marie was quick to respond. She took her friend's hand from me and turned Angie towards her. "Angela, you have been my closest friend for decades, will you now be my betrothed?"

"Oh! God! Yes! Thank you. I love you both so much," wailed Angie, hopping up and down in floods of happy tears.

Marie held out the ring they had chosen and bought together and together my wife and I slipped it onto the fourth finger of Angie's left hand. As I'd suggested, they had chosen something called a Russian Ring, made of of three interwoven strands of different shades of gold. It was perfect. I resolved to get my little Mediterranean goddess a matching necklace.

There was the sound of applause from behind us and we turned, rather startled, truth to be told, to find Colin beaming at us, the drawing in his hand forgotten.

"I think you're supposed to kiss her now, Grandma, Grandad," he observed. We couldn't fault his grasp of etiquette so we did; very chastely and properly with no tongues.

"Mum's gonna go proper monkey poo this time," he predicted, quite astutely. "Glad I'm not the one that has to tell her." He smiled, congratulated us all and then asked for our opinions of his drawing. We were all impressed, both by his artwork and his attitude and told him so. He disappeared happily back inside to put his drawing safely in his bag.

"He's not wrong about Linda," I pointed out. "I was thinking about this while I was running and I think I should take her out for tea tomorrow and tell her about our, er; does 'new situation' sound about right?"

"Thank God!" Marie breathed a sigh of relief. "I don't think she'd accept this updated version of 'the talk' from me. Anyway, I did the one about boys, boobs and periods, now it's your turn."

I went and switched the oven on and chose a bottle of wine as I waited for it to reach 180°C. I'd picked up a bottle of Ribeiro in our local supermarket and a Spanish white seemed to fit nicely with the ingredients so I parked it in the fridge to chill.

I got the tray with the onions, tomatoes, garlic cloves and potatoes and glugged over a little olive oil before putting it all in the oven for twenty minutes and then went off to see my girls. Angie had calmed down and they were trying to decide her outfit for our ceremony.

"What about Padme's rainbow dress?" I suggested. I'd had nothing urgent after lunch and had done some research. Angie gave me a long appraising look and typed 'padme rainbow' into the search engine on her phone. She selected 'images' and then studied the screen intently for longer than I expected. Still silent, she showed Marie the dress. "He's a clever old sod, really, isn't he?" My beloved observed. "That's beautiful, and it's perfect for your body shape."

Angie agreed. "That's it. I was considering Rey's outfit but this is better. This is the one I want."

"You can actually buy these on-line," I offered.

"Not a chance!" Retorted Angie. Marie looked as puzzled as me at how emphatic Angie's response was. "I'm sure that some are okay," Angie conceded. "But I've seen too many instances on Facebook where the seller shows an image of the original but what actually arrives looks like it was sewn in the dark from old curtains by an arthritic chimp. I want it to look just like that picture."

"But at least you'll know how much it is going to cost, dear," Marie said. "Who knows how much your student friends will have to pay to find a fabric like that?"

"Don't care," Said a defiant Angie. "I can afford whatever I want and it's my money after all."

Marie leaned in for a kiss. "We'll contribute too. We always intended to."

"No. Thank you, but no." Angie was adamant. "You bought me that beautiful ring. I realise that it would be rude to offer to pay for that, but everything else; everything," she stressed that last word, "is on me."

My wife and I shared another look of surprise at our friend's determined outburst. "But Ange," Marie began.

"Everything, Marie. You've been so kind to me for so long. And these last few weeks..." She teared up again. "You really don't know, do you?"

I shrugged. We were into Donald Rumsfeld territory here with 'unknown unknowns' and I didn't think that this was the moment to dive down that particular rabbit hole.

"You know that apartment I live in?" Angie asked. We did. It was in a massive, tastefully converted, Victorian building near the university. "Don't you think it's rather large and expensive for just one person?" We both just did some head wobbles, shoulder shakes and comme ci, comme ça, hand gestures to indicate that we had wondered but...

"It's not that expensive," she continued, eyes sparkling with mischief. "Not for me, anyway. You see." She paused for effect. "I own the entire building. A lettings management company deals with renting the other apartments; I just live off the income. I only do the consultancy work for you know who," she tapped the side of her nose. "to stop me getting bored and my brain shutting down." She was winding me up because she knew I suspected that she was some kind of spook.

"Don't worry about the cost," she said cheerfully. "I can afford it. Last time I checked I had over two million pounds just in my savings accounts."

She looked gleefully at the expressions on our faces. "And, once we're officially joined, I'm changing my will to leave it all to you and your kids. Colin certainly won't need a student loan when he goes to Uni."

"Angie, darling. There's no need," Marie protested.

"Who else then?" Angie challenged her. "You two are the closest I've had to a family since I ditched that last useless waste of DNA. I've had more fun, romance, sex and affection from you two lunatics in the last six weeks than from both my husbands combined over two decades."

Marie looked helplessly at me. I knew exactly what to do. I leaned forward. "Angie?" I said softly, taking her hand in mine.

"Yes, Geoff?" She replied, returning my loving gaze.

"Please can I have an Aston Martin DB12?"

We collapsed in each others arms in fits of giggles. Marie swiped me fondly across the head. "You nutcase. Get back in the kitchen and get our tea ready."

I checked, and the potatoes were starting to cook, so I laid the chicken and chorizo slices on top, added the herbs and spices and put the tray back in the oven. "Alexa, set a timer for twenty minutes." Then I went off in search of Colin.

I told him that I needed a private chat with his mum. "You think?" Was his smart-arse response. Sometimes he makes me so proud.

Anyway, he texted one of his friends and persuaded her to wangle an invite to go over straight from school the following evening to do their homework together. Linda would collect him around seven.

"So Colin. Mia. Is she nice?"

"Yes Grandad. She's nice. No Grandad, she's not my girlfriend. We're only thirteen but we get on just fine as friends." Hell. The kid's more mature than half of the lads I used to play rugby with.

We chatted some more until Alexa's alarm went off and I hit the kitchen again. Dropped the sliced peppers into the tray, a good mix up and back in for the last twenty minutes.

I was starting to set the table when Marie and Angie came in to take over and chased me away to watch the news on TV. Angie had already taken her ring off and had decided to keep it in its box until they were with their friends. Then Marie intended to propose again in front of them all. It sounded lovely and I would have liked to see it, but I'd agreed that this was their moment.

Linda arrived on time and about ten minutes later we sat down to eat. She'd called to collect a baguette on the way home as I'd asked and we used it to mop up the juices from our plates. The wine paired well; even Colin agreed, though he only got a sip of his mum's. Perhaps, when he's sixteen, Linda will let him have a glass with his meals.

After we'd finished, the ladies declared that they would clear the table as I'd done all of the cooking. It had hardly been a chore but I wasn't about to argue. Instead, I went and asked Colin if he was okay with Aunty Angie being, well, betrothed to Grandma and Grandad.

He thought carefully for a while. "Is anyone going to get hurt?"

It was a reasonable question. "I hope not. But it's always possible. Even two people who love each other can eventually drift apart."

"But you're all happy now?" He persisted. "You all want this?"

"Yes. All of us." I confirmed.

"What will I call her then?" He asked.

That hadn't occurred to me. "Whatever you and Angie decide. That seems the fairest to me."

His face lit up. "When you've told mum, I'm going to ask Aunty Angie if I can call her... Grangie." He announced triumphantly. There were still tears of laughter streaming down my face when the women joined us five minutes later. They all looked suspiciously at the pair of us.

"You had to be there," I told them, then we cracked up again.

Before Linda and Colin left I told her that, as Colin had a homework date the following day, earning a glare from him, I'd treat her to a meal after work as we'd both be on our own. I suggested a Thai in town and we agreed to meet there at five fifteen. She looked warily at me, but I'd been practicing my innocent expression and gave nothing away. Certainly, nothing had been said that evening to suggest there was a problem.

Angie saw them off with us and then said her own goodbyes. I copped a feel of her bum as we kissed, well, we're engaged now, or something. Marie must have shared my sentiment only she went for a tit. I slapped her hand gently. "Enough of that. She'll never get away if you start on her nipples." They both reluctantly agreed and then there was just the two of us again.

"Are we being silly, Geoff? Starting a new way of living? At our age? Is this just desperation?" It wasn't like Marie to second guess herself.

I hugged her to me. "I don't think so. We have time, money and our health. The kids are okay so this is our opportunity to be us. Not teacher, boss, researcher, mum or dad; just us. If this is what makes both of us happy, why fight it? You promised, if we reach a place where you're uncomfortable, then you'll tell me. I promise you the same. So let's go and see what's out there."

"Tell you what," she replied pulling me closer. "Get the rest of that wine and I'll sit on your lap and we'll finish it while we cuddle then, maybe, an early night?"

I was up early next morning. We did make love the night before and it was slow, sensual and fulfilling. We'd both slept like babies.

When I'd finished in the bathroom, Marie was looking at her phone. "That was a text from Peter. He and Jen are coming back from Canada on Monday and thought they might stop in to see us on the way back home." She looked worried. "Do we tell them? Or just Pete? But then how do we tell Pete without Jen hearing? Do we insist he keeps it a secret from her? "

"We need to make a choice," I told her. "We're telling Linda because she deserves to know the unconventional relationship that Colin will see when Angie is here. Pete isn't in that position but, I think that if Linda knows then her brother should too. And I also think that, if Pete knows, it would be unfair to expect him to keep it from Jen. I'm not sure about discussing the rest of the girls with him; I'm tempted to tell Linda because she'll get suspicious if we're never free to look after Colin on Wednesdays if she wants to go out with Mike or if she has to work late.