Gifted

"It's up to the gifted couple whether or not to take precautions. Strictly speaking, it's part of the tradition that the woman is gifted unconditionally. Many children of the glen owe their very existence to the gifting of their mothers, often in circumstances where the women would not otherwise have been blessed with offspring. For hundreds of years those children helped to repopulate this part of the Highlands. After the first and second world wars, for example, being gifted gave some women children that they wouldn't otherwise have had, because their husbands had died in those wars."

"So, Fiona, apart from the occasional unlucky bastard baby, there must be other consequences for the women who are gifted to the young men?"

"Not really. There have only been one or two small problems, but it's generally a very positive experience. Occasionally we intervene if it looks like there might be a problem. The last time was when John and Mary MacDonald moved away to Glasgow, not long after you moved here."

"So that's why they left. She was clearly very upset to be going, but he couldn't wait to get away."

"Yes. I'm afraid she got too emotionally involved with the young man to whom she was gifted. She wanted to continue the relationship for longer than a year."

"So are you telling me she got more than just the one roll in the hay?"

"Maybe you don't quite understand, Rob. You see, the gifting isn't just a one-off reward for good behaviour during adolescence. It's an incentive to stay for a while longer in the glen. Young men are often unsure of what they want to do with their lives. The gifting is for one year, or until the young man leaves the glen, whichever is sooner."

I was stunned.

"Are you seriously telling me that Callum expects to be fucking Shona for the next twelve months?"

"Please try to understand, Rob. Gifting has eliminated unwanted sexual aggression by young men, because the gifted women help them become mature, confident and well-mannered. Of course there is physical intimacy, but the young man learns about women and relationships during that time and he is then emotionally better prepared to face the world."

"That may sound good to you, Fiona, but do you think I'll just stand by and let Callum carry on fucking Shona? A flock of pigs will be nesting on your roof before I allow that to happen."

"Look, Rob, I know you're upset, but try to understand this is part of Shona's heritage. As a woman of Glen Magandie she doesn't have any real choice and it's only for a short while. By all means talk to her about it, but I'd advise you not to take a hard line. Issuing an ultimatum is seldom a good negotiating strategy."

It sounded like we had come to the end of our conversation, so I stood up.

"It's time I went, Fiona. I've listened to what you had to say and I've tried to understand, but not much has changed as far as I'm concerned. If anything, things are looking worse, but thanks for the tea and the chat anyway."

Fiona walked me to the front door.

"Don't do anything rash, Rob, and remember you are always welcome to come and talk to me."

*

I wondered whether Fiona would forewarn Shona that I knew what was going on. I would have preferred the advantage of complete surprise, but that was only because I wanted to get an unrehearsed and unvarnished reaction from Shona. When Robbie and Shona got back from church I couldn't tell for sure whether she knew I was onto her, but she did seem slightly subdued.

Bacon rolls for Sunday lunch in the kitchen was one of Robbie's favourite things and we were kept entertained by making sure his enthusiasm didn't result in any major spillages. Although young enough to help himself, he hadn't quite mastered portion control, particularly with tomato ketchup.

After lunch I got Robbie settled in the lounge, happily playing with his collection of toy cars, then I went back to the kitchen to rejoin Shona. She watched me carefully as I sat back down at the kitchen table, so it looked like she knew what was coming. I wasn't going to beat around the bush.

Looking straight at her, I told her, "I know about you and Callum."

She sighed. "I know you know," she replied.

"Why did you do it, Shona?" I asked.

"Because I'm a woman of Glen Magandie, Rob," she replied. "You can take the woman out of the glen, but you can't take the glen out of the woman. It's my duty and my fate to continue our heritage. We can't just throw away over two and a half centuries of a tradition that's been passed down through generations of women and safeguards the foundations of our community."

"But did you not think about what would happen to us?"

"Of course I thought about it. I'm sorry if you're upset, but you know that I love you, just like I know you love me. You have to understand that what I'm doing is no threat to what you and I have together."

"I don't see how you can say that," I responded. "I find it difficult to understand your reasoning, Shona. You've committed adultery and our marriage is in serious trouble."

"Please don't look at it that way, Rob. I'm hoping we can set things straight and you'll see our marriage is as strong as ever. I knew you might find out what was going on, but I didn't think it would be quite so soon, so I'm maybe not quite as well prepared for this conversation as I should have been. The thing is I'm not having an affair with Callum, because he's not in love with me and I'm not in love with him. If you think about it, all I'm doing is rewarding him for good behaviour and coaching him in life skills. What's happening won't have any real impact on you and me."

"How do you work that out?" I asked her.

"Nothing will really change. You will always have me whenever you're here. I can take care of Callum when you're away from home and you won't see him when you're back. You rarely ever see Callum anyway. He's usually away with his friends at weekends, going to the football in Inverness or some music festival or other. That's not going to change."

"But you're asking me to share you with Callum."

"I don't see it that way, Rob. You will be getting all the love and affection I have always given you, but I'm 32 years old and I have plenty of spare capacity. I'm not taking anything away from you to give to Callum. What he gets will simply be the extra that I can provide."

"I think we will have to agree to differ. I know I don't own you, but you're my wife and I'm your husband. I'm not about to accept that you can temporarily set aside your marriage vows to be faithful and loyal to me."

"That's a very ungenerous attitude, Rob. I thought you'd be able to see beyond the petty details and have an understanding of the greater good that we're trying to achieve. It is a great honour for me. I have been chosen to make this boy into a man. That is something very special. Not only that, but he's the chieftain's son."

"You make it sound like it's a cross between some sort of ceremonial ritual and a transcendental experience, Shona, but in reality it's just an affair with a young guy who decided he wanted to fuck you and have you at his beck and call. I don't think you're teaching him much more than a range of sexual techniques."

"You may see it that way, Rob, but it's a very special arrangement. Many other women have walked this path before me and their husbands have generally been supportive of them, knowing it's a small sacrifice in return for peace and prosperity in the glen."

"So what happens if a husband objects?"

"Most of the husbands understand all they have to do is turn a blind eye, so they don't object. Very occasionally a husband objects and he ends up leaving the glen. As you know, when it comes down to it, it's the women who control what happens in this glen."

"That sounds like an ultimatum to me," I said. "Your friend Fiona cautioned me not to give you an ultimatum, so I'm puzzled that you might be willing to go down that route."

"I'm not forcing you to do anything, Rob. In fact, it would suit everyone if you did nothing and that includes yourself. This is all very new to you and you probably need some time and space to think it through."

"I think we both need to think things over carefully, Shona. I think I know what I need to do, but I'll agree to wait a few days if you agree to stay away from Callum in the meantime."

I didn't bother to wait for her reply and went through to the lounge to see if Robbie wanted to go for a walk. This was a regular feature of Sunday afternoons, which meant Shona got some time to herself while Robbie got to spend some time with me for a change. I couldn't do much about being away from home during the working week and I valued those couple of hours every week.

Robbie and I usually ended up at the side of the loch, looking for wading birds that liked to forage in the reedy shallows. Robbie's favourite bird was the grey heron, with its long legs, long beak and grey, black and white feathering. He was thrilled to spot a lonesome heron that afternoon, standing motionless, hunched down with its long neck bent over its chest and its head tucked in as if to hide from the world.

Shona and I hardly spoke to one another for the remainder of the day. Both of us made an effort to keep up a conversation with Robbie, who was keen to tell Shona about the heron and talk about his plans for the week ahead. I don't think he realised there was a strained atmosphere that evening. As far as I could tell, Shona was keeping quiet in an effort to buy some time and avoid any escalation of the crisis in the hope that I would eventually come round to accepting her position. I don't think she realised the extent of my anger and that I was only keeping it in check by determined self-control, which included steering clear of any further discussion.

There was not a lot I could do about it if Shona decided to ignore my request to cool it with Callum. As I packed my bag later that evening I couldn't help thinking about how I would feel if I had to leave home permanently. The way I felt was already almost unbearable. It was as if the three of us had been in a car crash and the wife I loved had suddenly been taken from me. All I had left to hold onto was my son. How could I avoid losing him? I needed time to understand what was happening and what I could do about it.

I was up early the next morning, intending to get on the road before Shona got up. I was just finishing my coffee and putting on my jacket when she appeared in her dressing gown. Her eyes looked puffy and red, so she probably hadn't slept well.

"Drive safely, Rob," she said, as I headed for the door. "Please remember I love you. Let's talk later this week."

"OK, Shona," I replied. I was damned if I'd let her hear the "L" word from me.

*

Looking back on it, I think I spent the early part of that week numb and in shock. I didn't call home and I didn't hear from Shona, but that was not unusual. I was often in remote areas where the telephone network was very poor, which is why we were trying to upgrade and improve the telecoms infrastructure.

That Thursday evening, just like most Thursdays, I was booked into the serviced apartment that the company rented in Inverness. It was much more comfortable than a bland hotel room and was well-stocked with home comforts, including a good selection of whiskies. I was just finishing writing up my reports in preparation for our weekly management meeting the next day when the doorbell sounded about 7pm.

I opened the door and there stood Lady Fiona. She was wrapped up against the cold of the evening in what I'd describe as a "country estate" outfit - a dark green Barbour jacket, thick khaki coloured slacks and a stout pair of knee high brown leather boots. The Range Rover SUV in British racing green that complemented her outfit was no doubt sitting in the car park outside the apartments.

"Good evening, Rob. Sorry for dropping in on you unannounced. May I come in?" she asked.

"Of course," I replied, opening the door and ushering her into the lounge.

She took off her jacket, revealing a plain white blouse and a beige cardigan, and sat down in an armchair. I wasn't really all that surprised to see her, but I had to ask nevertheless. "Did you drive all the way to Inverness just to see me, Fiona?"

"More or less. I met up with my daughter this afternoon, but you're the main reason I'm here. I'd love a cup of tea if that's okay and then maybe we can talk about things."

I went into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Making tea is not just about hospitality. It's also a very British way of coping with trouble. Bad news is met with a stiff upper lip and a boiling kettle. I had a bad feeling about Fiona's visit, but the process of making tea gave me an opportunity to reflect on why she had come to see me. She was no spring chicken and she was dressed very conservatively. I was certain she wasn't going to try and seduce me, but it seemed like she had some sort of agenda and I hoped she was not the bearer of bad news.

Back in the lounge, after taking a sip of tea she didn't waste time on conversational niceties.

"I'll get straight to the point, Rob. I've been speaking to Shona about the situation we're in and I think we may be able to resolve matters to some extent. That's why I'm here."

"I'm not sure that will be easy, Fiona, but thanks for coming. It sounds like you've brought some good news. Does this mean you've cancelled the gifting of Shona?"

"Not exactly, Rob, but we've given a lot of thought to your position and we've tried to see it from your perspective. Shona and I agree that we misjudged your reaction and now we have to see whether it's possible to make amends in some way."

"I don't see how that's possible if Shona carries on fucking Callum."

"I'm not going to get diverted from my purpose by disputing your choice of phrase, Rob, but I would much prefer if you would avoid swearing. I understand your emotions are running high, but I would be grateful if you could say 'giving herself' to Callum instead of using the 'F' word."

"Very well, Fiona, but if she carries on 'giving herself' to Callum, how does that resolve matters?"

"That's the problem that was facing us, but then we realised we were only looking at one half of the equation. We thought about what you had said and we tried to see it from your point of view. You saw Shona getting something while you got nothing or lost out in some way."

"That's not exactly how I see it, Fiona, but I think you're beginning to understand."

"Thanks, Rob. I hope you'll like the solution we've come up with."

"So, what would that be, Fiona?"

"Heather."

"Heather?"

"Yes, Rob. My daughter, Heather. She lives here and she can take care of your needs in Inverness while Shona is taking care of her brother in Glen Magandie."

I looked at her in amazement. "Are you serious?"

"Absolutely. She thinks you're a great guy and she would be more than happy to oblige. In fact I think she's rather keen on the idea."

I was stunned. Until then I had been thinking there was a glimmer of hope that Fiona would tell me they had decided to call off the gifting of Shona. Instead she was pimping out her own daughter to me in an effort to make things right.

Fiona knew she had taken me by surprise and she was waiting to hear if I was interested, her head tilted slightly to one side and an eyebrow raised expectantly.

In that instant the mental haze cleared from my mind and the depression and sorrow I had felt in the past few days was replaced by ice cold anger. In those short moments of revelation, I understood that I had lost my wife and my marriage could not be saved, but I also knew without doubt that I would settle the scores with my betrayers at some stage. I wasn't absolutely sure how I was going to do that, but I wasn't going to let them know what I was thinking.

"That's a heck of a proposition, Fiona," I told her. "If I understand you correctly, what you're telling me is that, whatever happens, Shona will 'give herself' to Callum, but you are proposing to balance the equation, as it were, by offering me Heather."

She looked at me and nodded. "That about sums it up, Rob."

"Okay, Fiona. I'm not sure what to say right now. I need to think about things and I'll talk to Shona this weekend. Let's see where we go from there."

"Alright, Rob, I guess that's as good as we had hoped for. Thanks for the tea," she said, getting to her feet. " I will be staying at Heather's apartment tonight." She handed me a little piece of paper. "Here's her phone number," she said. "I'll tell her you may be in touch."

*

Driving back to Glen Magandie that Friday evening, I was still thinking about what to do. In the short term I needed to check and confirm that Shona was going to keep on fucking Callum, no matter what I said or did. If my wife wanted to have an intimate personal relationship with someone else, then I would not be having an intimate personal relationship with her, although perhaps that possibility had not occurred to her. I also needed to decide whether or not to accept the offer of Heather MacDarrell as some sort of consolation prize. After that I could decide what to do to safeguard myself in the medium to longer term.

Shona was a bundle of nerves when I got home. I think she was grateful Robbie monopolised me for an hour or so before he went to bed. Meanwhile she tried her best to reprise the wonderful evening we had enjoyed exactly one week ago. She fetched me a cold beer while Robbie chattered away and then she got busy in the kitchen, making a ragu bolognese. Once Robbie had been packed off to bed, Shona opened a bottle of Barbera d'Asti and we sat down to eat.

I had a fair idea of what we'd be talking about, but I left it to Shona to initiate the conversation.

"Fiona told me she spoke to you yesterday evening. What did you think of the solution we came up with?" she asked.

"It's not what I wanted," I replied. "Did you get together with Callum while I was away this week?"

She glanced away, avoiding my gaze. "I'm sorry, Rob. I've been gifted to him, so I can't just turn round and refuse him."

"So you're still going ahead with this, just as Fiona told me you would?"

She looked apprehensive, but determined. "Yes," she said quietly, her head nodding to confirm her stated intentions. "I know you don't like this, Rob, but it is something I need to do."

I thought I'd give her a last chance to change her mind.

"I hear what you're saying, but I still don't understand why you think you have to do this, Shona. I'm not going to threaten you or give you an ultimatum, because you must choose for yourself what you want to do. I can't force you to stop what you're doing, but are you sure you can live with the consequences, whatever they might be?"

"Yes, Rob, I know it will be difficult, but I think I can. It's not forever and I won't hold it against you if you decide to balance the equation."

"I think you're making a big mistake, Shona, but it seems you've made up your mind. Is there nothing I can say or do that would make a difference?"

"No, Rob. I don't think there was ever any chance of that," she replied. "You see, what I didn't tell you is that I myself am a child of a gifting. I wouldn't exist if it wasn't for gifting. My mother was gifted and I'm the result of that. My biological father was the young man to whom she was gifted. Gifting made me, so it was almost inevitable that the circle of life would result in me being gifted in my turn."

"Hang on a minute, Shona. You told me your dad died in a car accident when your mum was pregnant with you. Are you now telling me he wasn't your real father?"

"Yes," she replied. "It's true that my mum's husband - my dad - died when his car went over a cliff. I don't know exactly what happened, but it turned out he was well insured, so we didn't suffer any financial setbacks. I don't think mum ever really got over his death. She told me about my biological father when I was a teenager, so that I would be aware why my medical records differed from what I might have expected to see."