Gill, Igg and I's Land

Gill, George and I put our heads together and came up with two practical ideas for signaling devices. One was to build a bonfire that could be lit instantly that would provide both fire and smoke. A fire would be visible for a long way at night, but the smoke would be far more visible during the daylight hours. We also decided to try to get the large mirror from the head, in the boat. It would be a great way to signal during the day and it didn't require flame or a power source.

We decided to go for the mirror first. As we got near the beach, we thought at first that maybe they were all still on the ship. Then we saw them all huddled around a tree trying to hug each other to stay warm. I knew they would dry out during the heat of the day but it was still slightly chilly and they looked as if they were freezing.

Then we noticed that the boat was gone.

They saw us at about the same time that we realized the boat had sunk. Natalie and one of the young women got up and staggered towards us. One of the nerds came with them. They looked awful.

"Why didn't you tell us the boat would sink?" asked the nerdy guy. "You knew didn't you?"

"How are you guys dry?" asked Natalie. I ignored her.

"Rob, we need to talk, Honey," she said. "I have the feeling that you're angry about something. Okay I did it again. I didn't side with you. Obviously I was wrong and..."

"Gill, let's swim out and see how far the boat is beneath the surface," I said. "We can always dry our clothes by the fire. Hopefully, they'll have something for us to eat when we get back."

All of the others snapped their heads towards us when I said that.

"Where did you get food?" asked the muscular guy through chattering teeth. "You stole all of the food from the boat didn't you?"

"Of course not," said Gill. "There's plenty to eat on the island. You just have to know what to look for and work together to get it."

"Show us," said Mr. Muscles.

"We have things to do," I said. "Since you're in charge you should get off of your ass and figure out your next step. But from what I remember from the weather report, it's supposed to rain again today."

"What do you mean work together?" asked one of the nerds.

"We all have different jobs to do and different parts of the plan," I told them. "Some of us are cleaning up our area. Others are out getting food. Some of us are going to work on a way to signal boats from a long distance."

"You clearly took all of the good people," said Mr. Muscles. "That isn't fair."

"You left me a bunch of useless women and the nerds," he continued. "I thought nerds were supposed to be smart, but all these guys know about is comic books and Lord of the Rings. This is truly not fair. We should all come together and be one group again."

"I'll talk to the rest of our group at lunch and see what they say," I said.

"Why don't you just tell them?" he said.

"Because no one in our group is in charge," I said. "We discuss things and act on the ideas we think will work. We all have opinions and we all have jobs."

"Why aren't you guys wet?" asked the blond woman. Her makeup had run down her face and she was cold and just looked awful.

"Our shelter is dry and windproof," said Gill. "And the fire kept us all pretty warm."

"Where did you find a shelter?" asked Mr. Muscles.

"We didn't find it. We built it," said Gill. "Rob came up with the design, Igg, that's what we call George Ignikowski, Igg built it. Dana made it comfortable."

"We're clearly screwing the wrong guys." hissed the blond. Gill and I dove into the water and swam to the rocky edge of the island. The boat was there but it was at least eight feet below the surface of the water. I took a deep breath and swam below. I stayed under as long as I could and still didn't manage to make it into the head for the mirror. Gill did far better than I did though. He came up with a small hibachi grill.

"Not that I didn't like the way you cooked last night," he said. "But this will make it a lot easier. The other group started to follow us as we left. I turned and spoke to them.

"Less than twenty-four hours ago you all made a couple of really stupid decisions," I said. "You're all lucky you didn't drown when the boat went down. I'll talk to our group to see what they say about all getting back together. We'll let you know."

Natalie was still following me.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"With you," she said. "We ARE married, remember?"

In the coldest voice I could muster. I told her. "Yesterday while you were sucking that asshole's dick you told him that what I didn't know wouldn't hurt me. You were wrong, Nat. I DO know now and it still hasn't hurt me much. I'm ready to put you and the past behind me. As soon as we get off of this island, we're getting a divorce. We're done."

She just stood there in shock as Gill and I walked away.

Over the next three days, the two groups had minimal contact. My group prospered. We found a way to use several long sections of tubing from the ship as makeshift snorkels. That allowed us to stay underwater long enough to retrieve the mirror and several other things that we needed.

The only real contact between the two groups came from Dana. She visited her friends every day and came back with horror stories. The other group was supposedly near starvation and desperate. Troy, the guy with all of the muscles had turned into some kind of pocket tyrant. He ruled his group through fear and intimidation.

The women there, with the exception of Natalie, all wanted to switch to our group but were afraid of what Troy would do.

Dana looked at me when she told us that Natalie had fallen into a depression.

"I'm not saying it's your fault," she said. "But she seems to think that you just wrote her off."

"I did," I said. "What else was I supposed to do? How would you feel if you discovered that for the past twenty or so years you'd worked your ass off supporting someone. You'd loved them with all of your heart. You'd done any and everything you could think of to make them happy and you discover that they'd been cheating on you for years. Shit, I wish I could start my divorce while we're on this island, so I could be rid her ass even sooner."

"Don't you want to talk to her," asked Dana. "Don't you want to know why this happened?"

"What difference would that make?" I asked. "She wasn't raped, she wasn't drugged, and she probably wasn't blackmailed into it. But even if those were true, she could have come to me and I'd have moved heaven or hell to help her. Why she did what she did doesn't matter. The fact that she did it and more than one time tells me that I don't want to be married to her anymore. Women always talk about how all men are dogs and how we'll go after anything with a hole in it, but some women are just as bad. It was just my luck to find a woman like that. It's over. I'm not going to turn into some bitter old guy who hates all women. I'm sure I'll find someone who looks at things the way I do."

That morning I'd gotten up early to go over to our section of the cliff that was closest to the water. We had roughly divided the island with the other group. The beach was on their section. It was a good trade because most of the fish seemed to stay away from the beach, but they were plentiful around our cliff.

As I came up to the cliff to check on the pole we'd mounted in the rocky ground to attach the large mirror to, I noticed Ella. She was sitting on the edge of the cliff fishing and she was only wearing her underwear. She had on a very lacey bra and panties that matched it. She was thin yet curvy and her boobs were humongous for her size. I wondered as I watched her why a woman who was built like her would wear such sack-like clothing.

Over the past few days, we'd sort of paired off except for Gill. Dana and Igg seemed to spend a lot of time together. And Ella seemed to seek me out most of the time. We sat together at meals and she slept right next to me at night, often rolling over near me when it was chilly, but that was as far as we'd gotten. I wasn't sure that I could say the same for Igg and Dana, despite their age difference.

I was just about to approach her when I saw them. Troy, his side-kick and the two nerds came out of the woods that separated the beach from our area. They made a beeline straight for Ella. Troy had grabbed onto her arm and was trying to pull her back the way they'd come. I ran as fast as I could and didn't slow down until I got to them. I pushed Troy away from her and got between the two of them.

"What are you doing old man?" asked Troy.

"This isn't your side of the island," I said. "We have sort of an unspoken agreement since we don't believe in each other's ideas."

As I was speaking Natalie and the young women came up. From the other side Dana, Igg and Gill came over.

"This side is the side that Gill, Igg and I picked, while you sat there on your fat, steroidal ass, telling us that we were wasting our time. This is Gill, Igg and I's land...I mean this is Gill, Igg and my land. It's Dana and Ella's land. You belong on the other side."

"Did he say that this was Gilligan's Island?" one of the women asked.

"I'm tired of all of this bullshit," yelled Troy. "I'm tired of being hungry. I'm tired of being thirsty. I'm tired of being fried by the sun most of the day and freezing at night. I fucked up. I picked the wrong people. I thought that with Dave and I being the strongest guys on the island and my nerds being the smartest, we'd have the best of both worlds. It turns out that my nerds are useless. Between the two of them they have three or four PhDs. But who needs a degree in particle physics when you're stuck on an island in the middle of nowhere? Then I thought that we had all of the women and it turned out that you somehow kept the prettiest one for yourself. I think we need to share some of the resources on this island to make it fair for everyone."

"You and the other old guy are obviously the brains around here, and your girlfriend here is the hunter and gatherer. If I take her, I get food. And since you'll want her back, you'll build me a place to live in or even give me yours, won't you, Pops?"

"No!" I said.

"Bullshit," he spat again. "The fat girl comes over to talk to her friends every day. And while those stupid bimbos are talking to her, I'm listening in. I know they all want to come and stay with you guys. I've heard all of their crap about us forcing them to fuck us and not having any food. Dana was smuggling them little bits of squirrel and fish. And she talked about all of you guys. I know that the fat girl is fucking the other old guy. And I know that you and the little English girl here haven't done anything but you like each other. So all you have to do is decide whether you're going to build me a place like yours or just give me yours."

"No!" I said again.

"So you aren't even going to try to get her back?" he asked.

"I won't have to," I said. "You're not taking her."

Before I could say another word, I couldn't say another word. A huge fist flew out of nowhere and busted me in the mouth so hard that I left my feet.

"I guess you weren't smart enough to see that coming," he quipped. "You're smart and all of that, but it's time someone showed you your place around here."

Just as I got up he punched me again this time his fist smacked into my eye. "Stop!" said a female voice. "Don't hit him anymore. I'll go with you. I'll fish and get you berries and anything else you want just leave him alone."

"Smart girl," he said. He stood over me and I was pissed. I hadn't been in a fight since high school.

"No!" I said again. I exaggerated my lack of balance as I got to my feet.

"I have to admit for an old guy you have some balls," he laughed. "You're the only one around here who'll stand up to me."

I balled up my fist and clumsily swung it at him. I missed him by a mile on purpose.

"We don't have to do this, Pops," he said. "Although, I am curious about one thing. Why are you so willing to fight for her, when you wouldn't fight for your own wife?"

"That's easy," I said, still struggling to stay upright. "Ella's worth it."

I got close to him and cocked my fist back again. He smiled. I threw the fist clumsily and he leaned backwards. It was then that I reared back and kicked him in the nuts as hard as I could. I was sure that his scream was heard across Lake Superior and all the way back home. As he bent forward to grab his aching clock weights, I brought my knee upwards and into his face. He spat out a couple of teeth and tried to grab me. I punched him in the side of his head and he went down. There was a popping sound from his outstretched arm as he fell on the rocky ground.

His side kick looked up at me in shock. "You were faking it," he said. "You weren't that badly out of it. That's cheating."

I laughed. "He's six inches taller than I am. He outweighs me by probably eighty pounds and has a much longer reach than I do. Plus he's twenty years younger and in better physical shape. You call that a fair fight?"

"He was desperate," said Dave. "We don't know shit about surviving. Troy has always been a hothead and he's always thought that he should be in charge. When we were on the boat, it was always you who came up with the ideas for what we should do. Even during the storm, Troy was screaming like a girl. That embarrassed him, so afterwards he needed to get his balls back. While you went off to search the island, he turned everything into a popularity contest and held his little election. You were supposed to go along with it, but you just left us there. I think that you were more pissed off at your wife than anything else."

Troy groaned but still didn't wake up.

"And you can't blame Troy for your wife. He's a guy. She offered him some pussy so he took it. She isn't even his type. She's way too old for us. It was just fun. I thought it was cool because it meant I got Blondie with the water wings. Boy is that a disappointment..."

"Fuck you, Dave," hissed the blond woman.

"You already have, several times," said Dave. "And it ain't that great."

The blond who without makeup didn't look nearly as hot stood there grumbling. At that moment Troy woke up. "Dude, are you okay?" asked Dave.

"My nuts hurt so bad they're throbbing," moaned Troy in a whiney voice. "I need you to take a look at them." Dave took two steps backward.

"Maybe you should get Natalie to do that," said Dave. "After all she knows what they look like up close and personal." He looked at me. "No offense meant, sir." I just shrugged my shoulders.

"Natalie and whose nuts she plays with is no skin off of my ass," I said. Ella was slowly making her way over to me. Dave and the nerds were having trouble taking their eyes off of her. She'd taken her hair down from the unflattering bun and had it in one long ponytail that hung down her back like an inky black waterfall.

Her breasts were barely contained in her bra and the succulent flesh jiggled with every movement she made.

Troy tried to get up and suddenly screamed so loudly that he nearly passed out again.

"What's wrong with your nuts now?" asked Dave.

"It's my arm," whined Troy. I could see that the arm was dislocated. I grabbed his shoulders trying not to move the arm. He shrank away from me even as I touched him.

"Look asshole," I snapped. "Your shoulder is out of the socket. The longer it stays that way, the greater the pain and damage will be."

"What're you going to do?" he asked.

"If you'll lay down and shut up, I'll pop it back in the socket, or try to," I said. I grabbed his arm and put both of my feet on his side. I yanked quickly and very firmly. He screamed again and then let out a gasp.

"Oh shit, that feels good," he said.

"You need to make a sling for your arm," I said. "For the next week or so it's going to be very sore and after the soreness wears off it'll be weaker than the other one for a while. You should go back to your side of the island and rest."

Dave helped him to his feet and they all left. There was a lot of grumbling going on though as they walked away. I suspected that there would be a new leader before long.

Ella took one look at my face and then ran off. "Just let her go," said Dana from behind me.

"What did I do wrong?" I asked.

"Absolutely nothing," said Dana. "She's even crazier about you now. You got beat up trying to protect her. Do you know what that does to a woman?"

"When did she get to be crazy about me?" I asked.

"Uh Duh, ever since the first night, when you told her how much you loved listening to her talk," she said. "Rob, do you know what women hear all the time? We hear, "Look at that ass," or "God, I'd suck those tits." I mean didn't you listen to the things that Dave said about Becky. Do you have any idea how hurt she is right now? Trust me, where Ella is concerned you can do no wrong."

I went ahead and worked on the mirror. I got it mounted and tried sweeping the beam across the edge of the cliffs and out over the water. I was beginning to remember that we'd missed breakfast, when I heard a few tentative footsteps behind me. I turned to see Ella there. She had two of the wide square boards that Dana had made for us to use as plates. There was something green on them and some kind of meat. It was cut into chunks. We had three or four chunks each and there were cups of berry juice for each of us too.

She looked at me and then looked away quickly. "What did I do now?" I asked.

"Rob, your eye," she said. "And your lip."

"They'll heal," I said.

"But they shouldn't have to," she said. "I could have fished for him for a couple of days and found berries for him. Maybe he'd have learned how to fish himself and..."

"And maybe I didn't want to be away from you for a couple of days," I said. Her eyes got very wide and she had to hide her smile.

"The greens are different," she said. "I saw them growing underwater near where I fish. I got Gill to go into the water and cut them. It's like Kale but it has a slightly different flavor."

I could tell that she wanted to change the subject.

"So what kind of meat is this?" I asked.

"Taste it," she smiled. I took a bite from one of the chunks. It was different from squirrel. It was less greasy and tasted more like chicken, but I knew there were no chickens on the island."

"Is it gull?" I asked chewing it and trying to figure it out from its taste. She shook her head.

"Don't tell me this is pigeon," I said taking another bite.

"Igg caught it," she said. "It's snake..."

I spat it out quickly and took a gulp of my berry juice.

"Rob, do you know when the first time I knew that you cared about me was?" she asked. I shook my head. "When you told me that you wanted me to eat whatever type of protein was available even if it tasted like fried shit. You didn't say that to anyone else. It just seemed so important to you that I stayed healthy. So now I want you to eat your snake for me. It's not as good as the fish, but it is protein and it's better than fried shit."

From that moment on something had passed between us. We never qualified it or declared anything, but we were an item. We were also never separated either.

Since we couldn't store food or preserve it either, we started giving our excess to the other group. When we showed up the first time, with a bucket of grilled fish and some greens, they pounced on the food and devoured it by the handfuls. Unlike us they had no idea about sharing or working together. They each just grabbed as much food as they could and backed away.

Ella and I were sitting on the cliffs one morning a couple of days later, with her fishing and me staring at her in her underwear. Ella rinsed her clothing in the clear cool waters and left them to dry in the morning sun every day. While her clothes dried she fished in her underwear. Usually by the time her clothes were dry she had enough fish to last us a day. When she put her clothes on, she rinsed her underwear.