Gonna Sell The Bitch's Car Ch. 06

The last chapter. As promised, I dedicate this to my biggest fan, Anonymous.

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After Bob saw I wasn't giving the song to anyone else, he begged to produce it.

"This one is bigger than anything else you've written. When did you come up with this one?"

Moira was laughing.

"When he was twelve."

"What? You've been writing songs of this quality since you were twelve? Please tell me you've got a twenty year stockpile just like it."

By now I was grinning.

"Oh, I may have one or two lying around."

He went into full business mode.

"Have you got enough to fill an album? Are you gonna do it as a duo or is it just gonna be Moira?

When can we start?"

"Yes, I don't know, and it depends. She's going to be almost eight months along before Freddies' tour ends. I WILL NOT put too much strain on her.

We'll talk it over and let you know. We would love for you to produce it, but I want Mel to engineer it. He did the instrumental tracks for his album and I trust him."

After he left I asked Moira what she thought.

"I don't know. We're having fun just being in the band. I don't know how far this will go, I'm sure it'll be a hit. Do you want to be a star?"

"Oh no. If we do this, you'll be the star. You'll be singing it, you're beautiful, and the spotlight will be on you. Are you up for it?"

She absently rubbed her tummy.

"I think so. It's like a teenage fantasy come true. As long as we don't endanger our son, I'd like to give it a try."

Yes, it was as boy.

I was secretly pleased that she would get a chance to shine. I was already reviewing songs in my head.

We recorded "Erins' Song' over the next week. I changed the title because I didn't want any allegations for copyright infringement from the book, though I did acknowledge as partial inspiration for the song.

It wasn't a duo. It was Moira, me, Jimmy, Al, and Jenny. The name was chosen by me, and I thought the old English spelling suited it better.

We got the genius who did Freddies' videos to work with us on ours. He heard Bob describe the scene at the hospital, and ran with it.

We filmed it at St. Judes', with permission, and it started out in the day room where we first sang it. Moira was in her fairy outfit, I was dressed as a minstrel. She picked up April as she sang and had her open her arms. Soon all the children were joined by the doctors, nurses, orderlies, and parents in the room. She went out in the hall, where more hands were joined. By the end of the video she had gone down the stairs, out onto the sidewalk, and down the street. She went all the way round the building and back inside, eventually ending up back in the day room. I"m not sure how many volunteer extras he used. We ended the song with Moira holding April, giving a plea to help support the hospital.

He also did the CD cover. We hadn't really thought about it, but one Saturday he was driving by one of those little county courthouses so common in the South. It was on a slight rise and the lawn sloped away. It was freshly mown, and had rained several days before. Mushrooms usually pop up a few days afterwards.

It was almost a perfect circle of crisp white mushrooms. A fairy circle. Folklore had it you would find treasure at the center. When he called us almost screaming to get her outfit and get over there before he lost the perfect light. we did.

He had already called his crew to set up the cameras and reflectors. When we got there he had measured and put Moira right in the center, with her knees drawn up like she was in deep thought. He got about fifteen shots in before the cops asked us to leave. He had to go back the next week to get retroactive permission for the shoot.

I looked at the photos and decided there was a treasure in the center. We named that CD 'Circle'.

We didn't finish the project until after we had the baby. Aaron James Patterson. It was a disappointment to me he didn't have red hair, but other wise he was just perfect. And his auburn hair had red highlights in the summertime.

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Fred had decided to retire the Chance Blaze persona and start using his real name. Freddie Johnson and the Smyrna Playboys[and Girls} got rave reviews. Western Swing was having a resurgence, and we were very popular.

The CD sold well. Not epic proportions, but that style of music didn't appeal to everyone.

We got tired of wearing those western suits pretty fast, so we would play the first half of a show as a Western Swing band, then take a fifteen minute intermission and come back in regular clothes and finish the show doing his hits. He started closing the show with 'Twisting The Night Away'. It put everyone in a good mood for the trip home.

As her tummy grew, Moira moved less, and in the end she sat on a stool through most of the songs.

At one time I almost made her leave the tour and go home. She was taking her vitamins and getting her rest, and insisted she was fine. The other girls, in fact all of us, watched her like a hawk. She was a little snappy from time to time, said she was tired of being smothered.

I would let her vent on me mostly, then hug and rock her, whispering silly nothings in her ear until she started giggling.

This probably sounds glamorous and exciting, and it was, to a point. But mostly it was just hard, repetitive work. Before the show I would work on songs for Faerie, as well as songs for Freddies' next album, sometimes putting sixteen hour days in. Moira would fuss and I would stop for awhile, but as soon as she was asleep I would start again.

The hardest thing about touring is the boredom.

Fly here, do a show. Drive there, do a show. The normal routines of life were so disrupted sometimes you didn't even know what day it was or even where you were at. Some of us would hit the gym, go to movies, museums, or read. Freddie, Sarah, and Barry, one of the horn players, were golfers and would try to play as often as they could.

Sarah, Jenny, and Nikki were single, as well as half the guys, so romantic entanglements were inevitable. It was none of my business, but I gave them all fair warning. Keep it away from the band. If trouble or jealousies developed, home they went. I did have a serious talk with one of the horn players who was paying to much attention to Amber. Her husband Frank hadn't noticed it yet, but sooner or later he would, so I gave him an option. Stop or leave the band. He stopped.

After what seemed like forever it was time for the last show. We were in Atlanta, and the last five shows we did were sold out. The show was on Friday, and management talked us into doing one more on Saturday afternoon. It sold out in five hours.

I liked to read newspapers and had a habit of picking one up wherever we were. It soothed me to read about people who didn't have to be five hundred miles away tomorrow or on the opposite coast the next. I always read the classifieds, my habit of looking for guitars had never died.

There was an ad for a community yard sale in a small park, and one of the items listed was old guitars. I told Moira, who like everyone else was craving normalcy, and we decided to go. Freddie wanted to go, and so did Sarah, so we rented a car and went.

It was great. For a little while we were just two average couples out for a morning of leisurely fun.

The yard sale was a lot bigger than I thought. Spread throughout the park, it easily covered two acres. We stayed together for awhile, but soon Freddie and Sarah wandered away, holding hands. I nudged Moira and she just smiled.

"How long?"

"Since Chicago. They look good together, don't they?"

They did, but road romances rarely lasted. I wished them the best.

I found the guitars. Two cheap Japanese models, but one old electric Kay. I bought it, not even arguing the price. They agreed to hold it while we looked, so we slowly rambled, holding hands.

Occasionally someone would congratulate us, Moira was pretty big by now. She just glowed, as least to me.

We came to a table with a big banner: Babycakes Cupcakes, help me see Freddie Johnson. We couldn't help it, we went over.

There was a girl, twelve or thirteen maybe, and her mom. I have to admit, the cupcakes did look good. The woman said hi, the girl was busy with a customer, but just as soon as she was done, she came over.

She looked at Moira hard.

"Anyone ever tell you that you look just like Moira Patterson, the guitar player for Freddie Johnson?"

She looked at me but nothing registered. I had on a ball cap and sunglasses, not because of fear of being recognized, but because it was sunny and I didn't want a sunburned scalp.

Moira just smiled.

"I get that a lot. Must not be that many red haired guitar players in the world. Could we get a couple cupcakes?"

She had eight different flavors. Moira got red velvet with cream cheese icing. After tasting a sample, I went with prune. Moira looked at me funny until she tasted a sample, then she had to have one of those too.

"What's in this?"

The girl smiled.

"A good baker never reveals her recipes, but I will tell you it has a spice cake base, and the cream cheese icing has a little sweetened prune juice in it."

"You do know his shows are sold out, right?"

She sighed.

"I know, but I'm hoping we'll make enough money to get two tickets from a scalper. But they want twice the price, and I don't think I'll make that much"

I did some quick calculations. Fourteen band members, six crew, security guys, stadium workers,management. Say sixty to seventy.

"We might can help you out. Think you can have two hundred cupcakes by four this afternoon?"

Her eyes got huge.

"Are you serious, mister?"

Moira stepped in.

"Sure we are honey. I want fifty red velvet, and I'm sure my husband wants that many prune. We've got some friends here, let me call them over and see what flavors they'd like."

She called Sarah and told them to come over to the east side of the park, near the picnic shelter.

They came over, still hand in hand. Freddie was like me, ball cap and glasses, but his was so no one would recognize him. They took in the banner and started grinning.

"Guys, taste these, aren't they great? Which flavor do you like best?"

They tasted the samples. The girl was looking at Freddie closely, frowning.

Sarah was a chocoholic, so she wanted fifty of the double chocolate. Fred choose peach, an unusual flavor, but it was Atlanta after all.

Suddenly, her face fell. Moira noticed.

"What's wrong?"

"We don't have a car. Are you going to pick them up?"

"Sure we will. I'll send a car over, give me the address."

She was still looking distressed.

"Could you, um, pay half up front? I need to buy more flour and sugar."

We gave her the full amount. While we were doing that Freddie had the mom off to the side. Her hands flew to her mouth and tears came to her eyes. She was composed, though, when she came back. Her smile was just slightly bigger than a mile wide.

When we got back to the car Sarah and Moira gave us both a kiss.

"We know what you two were thinking. You're really good men, you know that?"

Moira slapped me on the shoulder when I asked her if she was willing to put that in the writing.

We let the rest of the band in on the plan. We had brought all the cupcakes she had back, and a mini sugar orgy ensued.

I wished we had filmed it. Her mom said she cried when the limo pulled up. The driver told them he was supposed to deliver them and the cupcakes to the address he was given, and to please dress suitably.

They put on their best dresses, loaded the cupcakes, and were off. The first stop was one of the best restaurant in town. The driver instructed them to go in, they were expected.

Her mom said she looked like she was going to her execution. When they were seated the waiter told them to order anything they wanted, the bill was already taken care of. Mom got lobster. The girl,

Julie, asked for a burger, but her mom said no, order something she had never had. She ordered lobster also.

After dinner, they were delivered to the stadium. Julie saw Freddies name in lights and started crying. The limo pulled around back to the artist entrance. Security gathered the cupcakes and the girls and took them backstage.

Freddie met her and told her he was always glad to meet a big fan. He apologized for not being able to get her a ticket, and asked her if hanging around with us backstage would be all right. She still hadn't stopped crying but nodded yes.

The girls and her mom took her to the dressing room to clean her face. She finally stopped crying and the girls put a little light make up on her. She and her mom stood just offstage for the whole show. Fred would look over every once in a while and wink.

At the end of the show they brought two stools out and put them center stage.

Freddie put down his guitar and grabbed a mike.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I'd like to introduce you to what is probably my biggest fan and the best cupcake maker I know. Please welcome hometown girl Julie Franklin!"

Julie froze. The girls led her gently out to the stool.

Freddie took the other stool and held her hand.

"Julie, this song is for you."

'Bring Out The Boogie In Me' was an old blues song by the great duo Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee. It was a feel good song that he was putting on his next CD, and we gave it the full big band treatment.

When he sang the last verse he sang it just to her.

"When you woo like that, when you coo like that, you shake my peaches down from the tree/ you're my sweet cupcake maker and you bring out the boogie in me."

He leaned over and gave her a kiss on the cheek while we played, and had her stand with him and wave as he said goodnight. The crowd ate it up.

He released the live video to promote his next CD, it made Julie and her mom minor celebrities, and their cupcakes became so popular they opened a shop. Every time he or Faerie came to town they had standing backstage passes.

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We went home, tired but satisfied. Took a little time off while waiting for the baby. I was still working on the songs for our first effort. I wouldn't let Moira work, which pissed her off no end. I did relent and gave her the songs to arrange as I got them, but no more than three hour a day.

She was working on an arrangement while I was writing a lyric down, when she missed a note. She never misses a note. I looked up.

She was smiling and crying at the same time.

"Honey, let's go, my water just broke."

The nurses said it was one of the easiest labors they had seen in a while, but it was still five hours before he came.

I held her hands and when she got close the doctor told her to vent, yell or scream, it would help with the pain.

She was looking into my eyes.

"You son of a bitch. I hate you! When I get outta here I'm gonna shove a guitar up your ass and see how you like it. Oh God, here he comes! I love you honey! I love youuuuu."

It ended as a scream, them mumbling over and over "I love you, I love you, I love you".

Tears flowed as I put our new son on his mothers' breast, and suddenly I had to sit down. I went pale and the nurses were laughing.

"Put your head between your legs and breath, you'll be okay in a minute."

Thankfully I was.

Moira delivered a week early, so Dad and Dottie didn't get to be there at the birth. Mom was pissed but got over it instantly when she got her hands on her grandson. Dad just stood there with a stunned look on his face. Tears ran down his cheeks when he touched Aarons' hand and it curled around his little finger.

Dad retired and they moved to Nashville. Dottie said no way she was going to be away from him while he grew up. They bought a house nearby, which I thought was a waste because they were always at our house.

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We finished the first CD. Erins' Song went to number one on the pop and country charts. We redid 'Perfect' as a duet between Moira and Jenny and it charted at five before dropping off. 'Hanging On The End Of a Kiss',one I wrote and Jenny sang, went to three on the country charts and one on the pop charts.

Life was good. No, my life was great. We were successful, pretty well off, and loved each other and our son madly.

After we finished our album, we concentrated on Freddies'. We had a few tracks down, and they were good solid songs, but none of them were hits.

I was going over old songs I had one day when Fred came by. He looked like hell. Bleary eyed, moving slow. He piled into a chair and laid his head back.

"What happened to you?"

He grunted.

"I think my truck got drunk last night."

I looked out in the driveway. He had a 1984 four wheel drive Silverado that he had restored and loved more than was reasonable. Usually a shining silver, it was covered with mud.

"Don't tell me you drove last night?"

"Nah, Sarah drove us home. She's a little pissed. We went down to the bar last night and some guy was bragging about his Dodge. I had enough beer in me to challenge him, and we went to the pits.

'The Pits' was a four wheel drive park, where several acres were constantly kept muddy. People paid a fee and 'slung mud' to their hearts content.

"What happened?"

"Hell, we both ended up stuck. To add insult to injury some girl in a hopped up Jeep pulled us loose enough to get out. Damn my head hurts."

I just grinned and left him to nap on my chair.

The next day I gave him the first draft of his next hit.

"Think my truck got drunk last night/pretty sure he started a fight/with a Jeep and a big Dodge Ram/ things got out of hand."

"Started talking trash/wrote checks my gas had to cash, ended up slinging mud/we were out for blood."

Three more verses followed. He laughed his ass off. Moira gave it a good beat with a lot of steel guitar.

We probably had more fun doing that video than any we've done before or since. We used his truck, a big Dodge dually, and a monster jeep painted bright pink.

JT, our video genius, filmed it a bar and The Pits. I don't know how he did it, but he got the Mattel people to let us use the Barbie logo on the jeep.

Singers are almost as superstitious as baseball players. Freddie insisted Moira and I be in his videos for luck, so I drove the Dodge, and Moira had the Jeep. We had stunt drivers for the serious stuff.

Remember the old Alan Jackson video where he walked through the mud sling without getting any on his white shirt? We borrowed that idea, and he even did a cameo where he was standing beside the pit in a white shirt while mud hit everyone but him. While the two trucks got covered with mud, through the magic of cameras and computers, the Jeep never got a speck on it. She even pulled the trucks out. At the very end, Moira stepped out of the Jeep wearing the black and white one piece swimsuit that was on the original 1958 Barbie. She had lost the baby weight, and at 37 she stilled looked amazing.

Mattel even put out the jeep and a reissue of the original Barbie as a tie in. Sales were through the roof, and 100 were signed by Moira and Freddie and distributed randomly.

Moira had so much fun she wanted the Jeep, so the monster ended up sitting in our driveway. As Aaron got older, whenever she went somewhere he would cry "Jeep, Mommy, Jeep." he loved it.

On the subject of cars, remember when I said I had another car stored at my storage buildings?

It was a 1970 Grandee Mustang, generally acknowledged as the 'girl' model of Mustang. It belonged to my grandmother, the only new car she ever owned. She loved them when they first came out, but couldn't afford one. A few pay increases later and after an enormous amount of overtime. my grandfather bought it for her to commemorate their twentieth anniversary. She told me she cried for a week, it meant more to her than anything he had ever given her. She was going to give it to my mother, but when she was killed in the accident, she promised it to me. To be given to my wife when we married. Oddly enough, I never thought once about giving it to Sammi.