Happiness Is A Warm Gun

What kind of a man would fuck his best friend's wife? I had asked myself that very question a hundred times in the past week. It was still going through my mind as I pulled into Zack's driveway.

I parked and grabbed a duffel bag off the seat. Julia was waiting for me and opened the door before I could ring the bell.

"You're very punctual, Mike," smiled Julia as she ushered me into the house.

"Well, the promise of a piece of your sweet ass is reason enough to be on time," I responded. "I would have been here six days ago if I could have fucked you then!"

Julia had always given the impression that she was a lady, and well above crude speech and behavior. I wondered if I had pushed too hard. I saw a slight frown cross her face. Then it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared.

"I'm sure Zack would have been upset if you had tried it a week ago, Mike. You know we had to wait until he left for his weekend business trip. And until I dropped the kids off at my mothers," she added.

I stepped up to Julia and slid my hand down her blouse and cupped her full breast. It was heavy and firm and the nipple quickly hardened as I tugged on it with my fingers.

"Mike! Would you like a drink or a snack first?" asked Julia as she tried to step back from me.

I kept control of her nipple and she soon changed her mind about backing away. It's funny how much power you have over a woman when you have a firm grasp on a nipple or two.

"Yeah, I'll have a beer, Julia, as soon as I get a few good feels of your big tits. I've waited a long time to feel these babies and I'll enjoy the moment," I laughed.

I thought I saw another frown sweep across her face but she smiled as I groped her tit. "You'd better get used to doing things my way," I thought to myself.

"Well, Mike, you'll have to release my breast before I can get a beer for you. In a little while you can have them both out and available for your pleasure," she promised.

I reluctantly released by grip. I swung her around and gave her ass a quick spank.

"Then hurry up, Girl. There's nothing like a cold beer and a hot pussy to make a man feel alive. Bring a frosty mug with the beer," I ordered.

Did she waver for a second? It was hard to tell, but I thought I saw a brief hesitation. I knew from experience that Julia hated being ordered around.

Julia came back into the room carrying two long stemmed glasses of some kind. She smiled as she handed one to me.

"What the fuck is this? I demanded. "It sure as hell isn't beer, or a frosty mug for that matter."

"No, it's champagne," corrected Julia. "I thought it would be nice to begin our liaison with a toast. You've always wanted me and tonight your dream is happening!"

"Well, I made the toast at your wedding so I guess I'll be the one to make the toast tonight," I asserted.

I raised my glass and held it toward Julia as I considered the situation.

"Here's to cheating slut wives and the men that fuck them," I proclaimed. "To women that don't get enough cock at home and have to look for hard cocks where they can find them. And to guys like me that reap the rewards. And, to all the limp-dicked wimps that marry hot bitches they can't satisfy!"

I thought it was quite appropriate given the circumstances, but as I chugged my drink, Julia winced visibly.

"Mike, you know Zack isn't a wimp! He has always beaten you in every sport you ever played against him. He's a strong, passionate man, not a wimp," she repeated. "I don't like being referred to as a 'hot bitch' either for that matter. Please show some respect."

"Julia, you're the one that will be showing respect when I hammer you with Little Mike," I grinned. "If Zack were able to get the job done, you wouldn't have invited me over tonight. You've heard through the grapevine what a cocksman I am and you have me here to demonstrate. Don't act coy."

"Your rather high opinion of yourself, along with your rather low opinion of Zack, surprises me, quite honestly. You and he are best friends, yet you deride him as a wimp. What sort of friend are you?" questioned Julia.

"The kind that's going to fuck the living shit out of his wife!" I answered. "It may come as a surprise to you, but I won't be his best friend after I cum in all your holes tonight."

"Mike, you have several misconceptions," responded Julia. "Zack is very masculine. He is not a wimp. The two of you will go on being friends since he will not know about our clandestine meetings, and I do not allow Zack to cum in my mouth. I certainly never allow him to enter my rectum!"

"Well that's good to hear!" I laughed. "I can't wait to go where no man has gone before. Imagine getting Zack's wife's ass before he does! That really appeals to me."

"It isn't a question of getting there first," Julia insisted. "No man goes there. You will treat me with respect."

I reached out and pulled her to me. I took her top and pulled it over her head. Julia offered little resistance. I swung her around and unhooked her bra and then turned her back around to face me.

Her tits were incredible! I had to stare as I wondered why gravity had no effect on them. I realized I was looking at perfection! I wanted to just lose my face in the valley formed by her tits as she breathed.

"Those tits certainly command respect, Julia!" I rasped. "When did they begin to sag? Not that they're too bad. I'm just curious."

"You think they're sagging? Zack keeps telling me they're perfect, but you're right. I have noticed that they have dropped a little after Jen was born," confessed Julia. "I knew Zack was just trying to make me feel good!"

As she spoke, Julia moved her arms up to cover as much of her incredible rack as she could. I simply dropped to my knees and tugged her skirt down. I had it around her ankles before she realized my intentions. Julia stood before me a in a tiny red thong. I had never seen a more desirable woman in my life! Slowly, I slid her thong over her ass and down her thighs.

Julia stepped out of the clothes at her feet and looked down at me as I kneeled in front of her.

"What?" she asked. "Do I look okay? Is something wrong?"

"You're good enough to fuck, so don't worry," I told her. "What are these marks across your lower belly? Are they scars?"

"Mike, I've had three kids!" groaned Julia. "A lot of women get bigger stretch marks than those when they are pregnant. They don't show that much, do they?

Julia was agitated as she moved one hand down to cover her lower stomach and held her other arm over her ample bosom.

"Zack said no one would notice them and if they did, they would think they are sexy. I knew he was trying to make me feel better about them!"

"They don't look too bad, Julia. I'm just surprised. I thought you had a perfect body," I confessed. "I remember how you always looked in that orange bikini when you and Zack were dating and how much I wanted to get my hands on you. If you had gotten those marks from having my babies, I'd think they were pretty damn sexy, too."

"That was 15 years ago, Mike!" Julia practically whispered. "I'm almost 40 now. People change."

"So I see, Julia. I still want to fuck you, though, so don't worry. Let me dig a few things out of my bag," I told her as I placed my duffel on the chair and opened it.

"Look at these!" I grinned as I pulled out a set of nipple clamps and held them up. "They'll make you scream for mercy when I snap them on those big nipples of yours. I saw a woman pass out once when they were applied, but I'll be gentle."

Julia just shook her head as I turned to pull my next surprise from the bag.

"Look at the size of this dildo, Julia. It'll stretch your ass out while I'm fucking the hell out of your pussy. I guess your cunt won't need to be stretched since you've had three kids," I allowed. "This will help you get prepared for when I take your anal cherry. I have to tell you that I'm pretty excited about that!"

Julia appeared incapable of speech as I removed the items from my bag of tricks. Her mouth was open, but words failed to form.

"It looks like you're ready to suck me off, Julia," I observed. "Why don't you drop down on your knees and pull my cock out. Worship that bad boy for a few minutes and he'll reward you with a mouth full of cum. I haven't jerked off in a few days so I have a good load for you. You'll be doing well to swallow it all without dripping some down your chin. Don't worry if you spill a little," I added. "Some guys get all bent out of shape if their slut spills any of their soldiers, but I won't complain as long as you do your best to swallow all of them."

"I told you I don't swallow for Zack!" exclaimed Julia as she finally found her voice. "I don't even let him cum in my mouth!"

"And I really like that, Julia, believe me," I chuckled. "That will make this blowjob even better, knowing old Zack doesn't get this kind of service. I can't wait to shoot my first load down your throat! Every time I see him, I'll be thinking how you don't let him cum in your mouth but you swallow my load like a two-bit whore!"

"Mike, you can't be that thick!" snapped Julia. "If I don't let Zack cum in my mouth, why would I allow you to do it?"

"I am thick, Julia, as you'll find out when you try to wrap your lips around it. You'll suck me off because I'm not your husband. I don't have to live with you, respect you, or have you respect me. You are my slut, and sluts suck cock... and they swallow! That's why you wanted me here tonight. Admit it. If you wanted to be treated like a wife, you'd have fucked Zack before he left for his business trip. You want to be down and dirty. You want to be my fuck toy, my whore."

"How can you say that, Mike? I want you to treat me like a lady, to make love to me gently, to act like a gentleman," insisted Julia.

"Julia, you can get that shit from Zack. I'm going to shoot a load in your mouth, in your cunt, and in your ass. I call it the hat trick, and I love doing it. I especially love doing it to tight assed prudes that pretend they are too proper to enjoy hot sex. Relax and let me show you how your inner slut wants you to behave."

"Mike, I'm not a slut! I just wanted to experience a few things before my breasts sagged too much, my stretch marks became too noticeable, or I just got too old to attract another man. I'm afraid it's too late already," whined Julia. "You should probably go before Zack finds out about this. He'd kill you if he found out."

"Don't you worry about me, Julia! This isn't my first slut wife experience," I laughed. "Look what I have just in case we have the old 'husband returns home unexpectedly and finds his best friend fucking the shit out of his wife' scenario!"

I reached into my bag and pulled out my handgun. Julia gasped when she realized what I held in my hand.

"This is a .44 Magnum and Dirty Harry claimed it was the most powerful handgun in the world. I don't know if that's still true, or even if it ever was true. But rest assured that this puppy will blast a hole through Zack big enough to toss a cat through!"

"Are you crazy? I don't want Zack shot! I love him! He's your best friend, for Christ's sake! What is wrong with you?" Julia screamed as froth bubbled from her lips.

"Julia, if you loved the dumb fucker, you wouldn't have asked me here tonight!" I smirked. "Once I fuck you, I won't be his best friend, by any definition. Let's call a spade a spade. You're a fucking slut and I'm a goddamn snake that has his former best friend's wife naked and begging to be fucked in the ass! We're made for each other!"

"You insane son of a bitch! I'm not begging to be 'fucked in the ass' as you so eloquently put it!" hissed Julia. "Put that gun away before I call the police. In fact, get your sick ass out of here or I will call the cops!"

"Does that mean I won't score the hat trick with you tonight?" I asked innocently. "Maybe tomorrow?"

Julia was pulling her clothes on as she yelled, "Get the fuck out of here! I'll tell Zack what you said about him, and about me. He'll kick the shit out of you!"

Just then we both heard the garage door opener begin to rumble as it performed its function.

"I don't think you want to tell Zack why I'm here, but it looks like you'll have your chance," I told Julia as I quickly returned the gun and sex toys to my bag and zipped it closed. "Why don't you go get my beer and then act like a loving wife?"

When Zack came through the side door, I was sipping my beer as Julia ran and jumped into his arms.

"Zack! I'm so glad to see you!" she squealed. "Mike stopped in to visit. He didn't know you were going away this weekend. How come you're home?"

"There was some kind of computer glitch at the airport and nothing will be flying before midnight, so I came home to my beautiful wife," grinned Zack. "I knew the kids were spending the night at your mom's, so I thought we might g out for a little dancing or something, but we don't have to if Mike wants to stay and visit."

"No!" Julia almost yelled. "I mean, no, he was going to leave after he finished his beer. I'll get ready and we'll go out. You don't mind, do you, Mike?"

"Do you want me to go along and show Zack how a real man dances a woman off her feet?" I teased.

"No, Mike, I don't," Julia flatly stated. "I want to spend a romantic night with my husband, okay?"

"I can take a hint, Julia. I'll chat with Zack while you get ready and leave when you come back down stairs," I offered.

That seemed to satisfy Julia as she turned and headed up the stairs. Zack just sat there watching and waiting until Julia closed the bedroom door.

"What's with bringing the fucking gun?" he demanded in a low voice. "You scared the shit out of her!"

"I thought it would be a nice touch, Zack. Right now she's thinking how close she came to getting you, and her, killed. She's thinking she's very lucky! She won't ever consider straying again!" I assured him.

"Did you have to get her out of all her clothes, you miserable prick?" chuckled Zack. "I had a hard time keeping hidden and quiet for that whole charade. That 'limp-dicked wimp' reference wasn't needed, either."

"Again, it was all part of a necessary lesson. When she came on to me a couple weeks ago, I could tell she had a midlife crisis thing going on. You're lucky she was dumb enough to try me instead of some guy that would have banged her like a screen door. Why do women think that their pussy is stronger than friendship?" I wondered.

"I guess because it usually is, Bro. I'm just lucky to have a pal like you," Zack smiled. "Thanks!"

"No thanks needed, Zack. Julia thanked me for you when she showed me her incredible tits. I had a hard time telling her they sagged, you miserable fuck! Now she hates me, just because I followed your suggestions about how self conscious she was about them, and about those invisible stretch marks. I never did see the scars, but her tits are absolutely magnificent. I took a bullet for you, Zack. Just remember that. I'll probably be kicking my ass for it for the rest of my life. Her tits are abso-fuckin'-lutely magnificent!"