Have You Ever Felt Unwanted?

She was still just staring at me. How is it that a woman you've known for so long can suddenly become such a mystery?

"I'm taking a shower." That was all she said. She grabbed a few things from her case and headed off for the bathroom leaving me to sit and wonder what she was thinking and what this night would bring.

I heard the shower start and sat there wondering. Was I standing on the precipice of a new beginning, or just a cliff that would end something I valued as much as any relationship I've ever had? Would she be angry and offended if I took her in my arms and kissed her the way I wanted, or would she be angry and hurt if I did not? Playing it by ear was never a skill I'd developed and never an ability I needed more than tonight.

She was soon back in the room dressed for bed wearing what might be described as a pair of men's pajamas, although she looked enticing in them. There was no sexy nightgown, no lingerie, no semi-transparent lacy thing, and I could have taken them off with my teeth!

"I'd better do the same." That was all I said as I gathered my things and headed for the shower. I don't know what Claire did in preparation for bed, but I spent an inordinate amount of attention to getting a smooth shave and brushed my teeth until they shined. I took longer than her getting ready and began to be a little self-conscious about it.

As I walked back into the room I got "Took you long enough! What were you doing in there?" Okay, she was smiling about it.

Almost apologetically, I said, "Just the usual. You know, shave my legs, shave my chest, a little manscaping..." Now I had her laughing.

I sat next to her on the couch with my arm behind her shoulders. "Mrs. Hughes, there's something I've been wanting to tell you."

"Yes, Mr. Taylor?"

Oh, screw the words! I leaned toward her, placed my hand alongside her cheek, and kissed her like she was the one and only woman on Earth and with not even a hint of surprise she kissed me back!

When our lips parted and I looked her in the eyes, she said quietly and with a smile, "Took you long enough!"

"Don't mess with me woman. I am completely serious!"

She just smiled, leaned forward, and kissed me again. Our tongues played tag between our lips as her breath entered my nostrils. It was intoxicating.

Claire stood, took my hand, and we began walking toward the bed as she slowly unbuttoned her pajama top. "You know I'm almost sixty, don't you?"

"Yes. And so am I."

"I don't look like I did at twenty-five."

I had to chuckle. "You may be in for a few surprises yourself. Do you think any of that matters to me?"

She turned toward me with her top hanging open, smiled, and said, "No. I just wanted to give you fair warning."

That was the beginning of our first night together. Yes, we did sleep in the same bed. No, we did not wear our pajamas. And yes, we did make love. In fact, we managed it twice that night and once again in the morning before showering together.

That night was the beginning of our new life together. The ex-wife and any long-gone love affairs were quickly forgotten as a cherished friendship evolved into a lasting love. My family had met Claire in passing, but their behavior the next time my kids and their families met Claire knocked me for a loop. Introductions were formal with the usual questions, but by dinner the stories flowed, and the laughter was continuous. Later in the evening there were hugs and kisses, winks and nods, until when she was leaving my daughter simply said, "Damn, dad, it took you long enough! Five years and she was right there all the time?"

I wanted to defend myself, but who was I kidding? They knew it, Claire knew it, and finally I knew it. "Better late than never!" was all I could say.