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"Come Suzie dear, let's take a walk, just out there upon the beach." He said, and kissed her again.
"Okay. Let's walk, then." She answered in a whisper, giving in.
- COMMENTS
LegallySaneabout 3 years agoNah....
This story is way too dark. Couldn't read half of the first page. I'll pass.
Anonymousover 5 years agoFirst, being a 'Nam Vet' I wondered how this thug would get to Mic. I am retired, but remember my combat training to this day. But, it's your story so I will let that go. Your story is well written, but get a Lit Volunteer Editor or beta reader, since I found errors that should not have been. It did slow the story down a littke for me but not enough to quit reading a very good story. You pieced it together well and I think that you know family or someone who has lost to tragedies like this.
Anonymousover 8 years agoThank you for writing. What a great story, and as another reader said, Im wondering what white hallway means. Keep up the good work, keep on writing.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoAnd because it was so well written and had me questioning what on earth "white hallway" was, it gets a 5/5.
