Helpless Sins

I'm not gonna go through the nonsense about this being a true story or not. All I can say is it's a personal story that means a lot to me and after long consideration I've decided to share it with others who are like minded. This isn't a porno in writing. This is about love and lovemaking in what we are raised to believe is the worst of places to find it. I'm still a bit mixed up about it so maybe I'm looking for support. Either way I hope you enjoy reading it and your comments are more than welcome.

Charlene's eyes flickered open to the first rays of light creeping into her bedroom window through the sits of venetian blinds. Half asleep she shifted under the covers to the feel of the linen caressing her naked skin and suddenly, as if woken from a dream, a reality that should have only been a dream sank into her mind with unerring accuracy. Slowly as if to prepare herself for some horror or delight, she rolled her head to the side to see the young man still deeply asleep beside her. His adolescent clean skin gave a neat glow in the morning light and his unkempt hair was strewn along the pillow he laid his head on.

"Oh God..." She whispered almost inaudibly before closing her hands over her mouth in an afterthought to not make a sound. Charlene lay trying not to move; trying not to breath for fear that any stir might awaken her son David and force what she had done into an even more terrifying reality than was already causing her such distress. As she looked him over, her heart and her mind tangled with deeper more primal senses inside her, battling internally as to what had been her greater sin only hours earlier; what she had done, or the fact that even now she couldn't help but need it to happen again. As she struggled with an internal frenzy her mind played the deeds of the last twenty four hours back in full color high definition.

Saturday morning...

Slipping off her pajamas and laying them out across her dresser, Charlene customarily stood in front of an antique mirror in the corner of her room and looked herself over. She turned from side to side, checking all available angles. She patted her flat stomach approvingly and smiled to herself. At the middle age of forty and one failed marriage under her belt, Charlene prided herself in keeping in shape where so many of her friends had begun to slide. Her divorce had left her with a struggling self esteem that she worked hard to gingerly mend by staying healthy. Her husband had traded her for a younger model; a blow that had made her think a lot about competing with more slender and curvy competition out there. Still in spite of her condition these days, she had discovered the dating game to be one for the young. The occasional man who had been caught by her presence had proven little more that a one night stand upon discovering that Charlene was also a mother. Few were willing to accept that extra baggage and she had all but resigned herself to being the target of a 'hit it and quit it' romp.

Nevertheless, as she admired the reflection before her she still was satisfied with what she saw. Charlene was a taller woman than most of her friends, measuring in at 5'10. Being mid January, her skin had lost all of its summer glow from tanning but adorned her body tightly, and in tandem with her less than naturally bright red hair and deep sea green eyes, she had the look of the hot Irish women she had heard men discuss fondly, though being a naturally blond woman from the eastern seaboard, nothing could have been further from the truth. Her figure was toned and fit; the product of several years since she had first taken an interest in yoga and jogging at the recommendation of friends and her bottom and sculpted thighs were a tribute to how hard she had worked at both. Charlene prided herself greatly on being able to fit comfortably in jeans that didn't bear any labels that said relaxed fit. As years had gone by she had become less and less satisfied with her breasts. They had lost some of their youthful firmness and bounce, but nothing that wasn't fixable with the right bra and excellent posture and where their contour had begun to slack, their size had always caused men to believe that they were less important than her face. It didn't bother her much and her wardrobe was abundant in low cut tank tops to give notice to her cleavage.

Abandoning her ritual morning vanity at last, Charlene rounded her bed towards her closet to fetch suitable running attire, winding her long hair into a pony tail as she rifled through her shirts. After sliding her shorts up her legs she was about to make her way from her room when a shiny reflection caught her eye. Out of her window and down the lawn, her son David's car shined brightly in the morning sunlight. Charlene cocked her head, eyeing the car with curiosity. At 18, her son was a social young man and very active to say the least. It was uncommon, even in winter for her to awaken on a Saturday to anything but an empty house, even as early as it was. Be that as it was, the 2003 Trans Am gleamed pearlescent silver in the sunlight. Thinking little more of it, Charlene sat on the edge of her bed, slipped her running shoes on and made her way into the hallway towards the bathroom for morning necessities before she hit the road.

Passing her son's room she took stock of the fact that the door was open but David was not to be seen. It wasn't until she approached the bathroom door at the end of the hall nearest the stairs that Charlene paused to the subtlest of foreign sounds. The faintest hint of the electric hum given off by the downstairs television hissed in the air. Charlene paused again; this was uncommon. David wasn't much of a TV fan. In fact he rarely spent any time in front of it. He was more the outdoorsy sort and was always much happier to get out of the house with friends first thing than waste his time on a couch. Charlene had always attributed this quality to her son's many successes. Unlike many of the boys his age who would have been happy to spend an entire day with a videogame if left to their own devices, David got out, did well in school and had a booming social life. Everyone in the neighborhood commented on him and praised Charlene for her successes as a single parent. Venturing into the more bizarre, while she was certain the television was on, she couldn't hear anything coming out of it. Deciding that nothing could really be as strange about the situation as she was building up in her head, Charlene tended to her morning needs in the bathroom and started to make her way down the stairs.

"Oh shit..." Came a soft but forceful whisper as Charlene looked up from her feet and into the back of the living room only to nearly fall right down the remaining stairs as she stopped dead in her tracks. The large flat screen at the other end of the room was indeed on and the screen was graced by a young man relentlessly taking an older woman from behind with all the intensity he could muster while a younger girl more the man's age lay beneath the other two, happily lapping at the man's testicles with her out stretched tongue. Though despite the fact that the porno no doubt had audio of the women screaming in pleasure, the television itself was muted silent. The only other motion in the room drew Charlene's eyes from the screen to the sofa where her son David sat, clearly oblivious to her presence as his hand flashed rapidly up and down the shaft of the largest cock Charlene could ever remember gazing upon. Other than a pair of open jeans, David sat staring at the screen unclothed. His chest and forehead were damp with perspiration. His dark hair was still the tangled mess it had been when he had rolled out of bed that morning and gave him a bit of a wild, bad boy look. His slender lips were apart, quietly breathing hard but Charlene barely was able to take notice of these characteristics. Clutched in David's hand was a cock that Charlene felt instantly certain any woman could have been able to stack two hands, top to bottom along the stalk, and still have more sticking out the top. Moreover, her son was a man with larger hands than most and even as one tugged along the monstrosity erected from his jeans, even he was barely capable of closing his fingers completely around the thickness.

'That's defiantly not his father's genes at work.' Charlene mused to herself. His manhood was rigid and shiny; gorged with blood to its threshold and the dark pink head spilled pre-cum down across David's fingers to such extend that it nearly looked like he had already orgasmed and simply hadn't stopped jerking off yet.

Charlene remained on the sixth step from the bottom taking in the sight. Whether it was because she was herself rather sexually deprived of late or because of the magnitude to her son's best kept secret, she was unable to take her eyes from him. She watched in awe as time seemed to slow in that moment. She stared intently each time her son's hand crested over his cock before flashing back down the shaft again, each time squeezing it so that more of its salty sweetness dribbled over. Charlene's vision tunneled until everything but her son's cock went into a hazy blur. Unconsciously, she felt her tongue lick across her lips as the mouth watering sight seized her with all the seeming of some beast that had caught her throat. The more she stared, the more she appraised her son and she wondered a moment if she had taken hold of his cock what its slippery rigidity would feel like in her hands. Not more than a moment later Charlene shook her head violently as just a flash of what he would taste like; his pre-cum oozing out across her tongue...

'What the fuck are you thinking?!' She scolded herself. In spite of her better reasoning however her eyes locked right back on David's hand as it passed up and down his glistening manhood. Before Charlene could decide whether to creep back upstairs or announce herself with some false maternal authority, David's face tightened and his teeth clamped together. Just when Charlene thought she had regained any semblance of proper parenthood she watched in awe as her son's semen erupted, thick and white from the head of his cock in four harsh streams that splattered against his hand and across his stomach. 'Oh... my God!' Charlene admired the spectacle with the commanded attention that would have been better appropriate to watching any other man ejaculate than her own son. 'So much...' As David continued to jack his cock through his clearly well developed orgasm, his hand milked more and more semen from the tip. Charlene shut her eyes trying to block the image, but her mouth had once again begun to water.

All her life, Charlene was the sort of rare woman that most men were pleasantly delighted to encounter. From an early age she had been sexually aware and it wasn't long before she discovered one of her favorite proclivities was oral sex. Specifically, she had always been aroused by the sight of a man's climax but even more to the point, she was almost incapable of ignoring her lust for the flavor of a man's semen. She had tried for years, among friends, to reason her addiction to it. Something about trying to describe what she yearned for in terms of taste and texture had always fallen short however. It was, very flatly, something she loved. Now however, she found herself trying to be small and silent, shutting the beautiful image before her out of her eyes in hopes that when she opened them everything about her surroundings would be normal again.

"Fuck!" David's voice sounded in her ears, shattering all delusions that there was any way out of her current predicament. "Mom?!" He called her way with a heavily embarrassed tone. Charlene opened her eyes a crack to see him tucking his still swollen cock back into his jeans.

"Sorry!" She replied as she turned her head away all together. "I didn't know you were in here..." She tried to lie as she peeked back again through half closed eyes to see David rising off the couch and clicking the TV off. "I didn't really see anything. I'll go back upstairs and you can just..."

"No I'm... I'm leaving anyhow." David replied as he tossed a shirt over his head as quickly as he could. Charlene watched as the wet spill on his flat muscular stomach seeped through the fabric as it rested against his body.

"David you don't have to... I mean it's not like you were doing anything wrong." Charlene pleaded trying to be composed and mature about the situation.

"No I'm meeting a friend and... I'll just be back later ok?" David shot back with a red flush overwhelming his skin as he dashed from the room with hardly a backward glance. Charlene sank to a seat on the stairs as the sound of the front door opening and closing left the house quite silent. Staring at the couch where her son had just been, it was as though a ghost of David had been left behind. She watched the imaginary young man, still cranking his fist down over his cock; gasping in manly pleasure as streams of his pearly essence spilled across his chest. Without realizing it, Charlene had begun to breathe just a little faster as a familiar tingle somewhere deep inside her began to prepare her neglected womanhood with a thrilling rush of warmth and moisture.

"Oh my fucking God!" She screamed as she sprang to her feet just as her hand had smoothed down over the crotch of her shorts. "What the fuck?!" She shouted again into the empty house as she flailed the same hand in the air before her as though trying to shake off something awful or terrifying. Stepping down the stairs and into the living room, Charlene became faintly aware of the faint scent of her son's perspiration. Hastily she rushed to the window, flinging the pane upward to ventilate the house of her son's pheromones. Then as though aware through an out of body observation at the mania she clearly had to be displaying, the urge to break down in laughter caught in her throat. She stopped, closing her eyes, trying to center her thoughts as she patted the sweat from her palms against the fabric of her shorts.

"Alright, get a hold of yourself." She exhaled, shutting her eyes in an effort to bring her spinning world to an immediate halt. "This is simple. It's been a few months and the first cock you see is going to make you horny no matter who it belongs to." She reasoned aloud. 'Never mind the fact that that cock was absolutely beautiful, and something about watching your own son masturbate was the most erotic experience of your life.' Came the inside reasoning of the devil on Charlene's shoulder. The simple truth of that struck her blatantly. She couldn't deny it; it was true. It was more than just hormones coursing through her neglected body. The more she replayed the spectacle she had witnessed, the more the truth sank in; it was the sexiest thing she had ever witnessed because it was David. This startling discovery derailed Charlene's calm to the point where the heat between her slender thighs was becoming frightening.

All of the sudden it hit her; an outside voice of reason was all she needed in this moment of uncharacteristic weakness. Her best friend Samantha had always been her sounding board in moments of need. Charlene dashed into the living room and dug her hand into her purse, rummaging around until she found her cell phone. Frantically she passed her finger over the screen until Samantha's name came into view. The line opened, bringing the sound of a ringer into Charlene's ear for several moments before going to voice mail.

"You've reached..." Her friend's automated sounding voice chimed through the phone. Charlene muttered under her breath as she drew the phone away from her ear to try to call again.

"Come on Sam, pick up!" Charlene whispered to herself as she re-highlighted her best friends name on her iphone and hit send again. The ringtone sounded for several seconds more before the line clicked in.

"Hey babe! I almost didn't hear my phone; I was running the vacuum." Samantha chimed merrily.

"I think I'm going insane! I don't know what's going through my mind right now. I'm a mess!" Charlene rambled, skipping the opening pleasantries as she paced her living room rapidly back and forth. "I need a reality check."

"Sweetie, slow down." Samantha reassured in a clam voice. "You're talking like a train with no brakes. Just breathe..." She instructed while breathing deeply herself in the mouthpiece of her cell phone. "Now tell me what's wrong."

"Where do I begin?" Charlene replied with no less a frazzled tone of voice and then she proceeded to lay out her morning and the subsequent results; how her son's form had sent her into such a state that she was certain she was losing control of herself. Samantha listened dutifully with all the silent diligence of a true friend, allowing Charlene to rant and rave and spill what had undoubtedly become the grandest skeleton in her closet.

"Alright." Samantha exhaled after Charlene had bared her soul. "Have you taken care of yourself yet?" She asked finally after a thoughtful pause.

"I'm sorry?" Charlene exclaimed.

"Char, try to stay with me here. It wasn't a complicated question. Have you masturbated?" She clarified so plainly she may as well have been asking what Charlene had done to get a troublesome stain out of her favorite sweater.

"You're not suggesting... not while thinking about, David?!" Charlene protested, clearly taken aback by Samantha's suggestion.

"Why not?" Samantha replied with a slight glint of a chuckle in her voice. "Are you planning to hold it in all day? Clearly you need to address this. Besides, I don't think there's anything wrong with it."

"He's my son!" Samantha nearly shouted into her phone as she flopped down into her sofa, nearly exhausted by the thoughts running through her mind.

"So what? He's a young attractive boy and clearly he's a blessed boy at that. I mean... well, that is to say you aren't the first mother that this has happened to, believe me hon." Samantha trailed off.

"You mean... you?" Charlene began.

"Sure." Samantha exclaimed.

"You mean you and Ben..." Charlene tried to begin but the words stuck in her throat, not wanting to actually ask her lifelong friend if she and her son Benjamin had ever crossed such a line. Ben was about David's age and one of her son's best friends much as Samantha and Charlene had always been.

"No." Samantha replied in what seemed like an almost depressed tone of voice. "I'm sorry to say that I've never been brave enough to ever try. But it's crossed my mind of course. Actually, it's been one of my favorite fantasies for years. I think it's just one of those repressed things in everyone's mind, you know? Something psychological and all that; who knows. Personally I've never bought into the modern concept that incest is such a horrible thing so long as all parties are consensual."

Charlene could barely believe her ears. Samantha had been her closest friend since college. She had gone through most of her life believing that there was nothing about her she didn't know. Samantha, to the public eye was a very proper woman. She was well mannered, annoyingly polite, actively involved in the Church that she and Charlene attended, a devoted mother and wife; certainly nothing about her would ever have suggested such perversions might linger in her mind. Charlene had always considered herself the wilder one between the two of them. Sexually, Samantha had always come across as reserved and private. To hear her condone incest, let alone say the word masturbation was new territory in their friendship.

"Listen..." Samantha continued. "I'm not telling you to jump David or anything. But you wanted my 'reality check' and this is it. Take care of yourself before this desire of yours becomes too big to control, and if the day ever comes when you decide to take it a step further, all I can say as your friend is, you'd be my hero and I want details!" She giggled.