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"It does," I replied as I grabbed her and pulled her into me, "it means you need to start wearing skirts. It will make doing this far easier," I said as I reached into her pants to feel her wetness, driving my finger into her as I devoured her mouth.
"For how long?'
"For as long as you can tolerate me."
- COMMENTS
Buckeyebobover 3 years agoA couple misspelled words, a couple wrong words.
The expression is “flying by the SEAT of my pants. Definitely not seam of my pants. Just an example of what I mean.
WhoGivesAShitover 5 years agoFollowing The Long Road, this is another solid chunk of writing. Great characters, well developed. The critical ‘what makes him Daemon’ kept hidden until this chapter was a fantastic decision! A young man from a criminal background, who considered an unwelcome kiss as cheating... incredibly unusual, an intriguing character. Great work.
Anonymousover 6 years agoCritical details, especially at transitions are missing. How are we supposed to know what we don't know?
A lesson I learned early is that when working in depth on a project, many times what is obvious to me is not obvious to an outsider. That is what I think is happening with this series. The reader does not know where the story is going, the background of the characters, or what has happened to each character unless the author puts it down in words. Unfortunately it seems that many of those words are missing and only exist within the mind of the author. It might be crystal clear to him, but not for the rest of us.
I will still keep with it though, hoping for the fog to clear.
Anonymousover 7 years agoSometimes, this chapter included, I feel like this writer gets a good story line in his head, and then when he writes it out he leaves out enough of the details so as to confuse the reader. I kinda have an idea what's going on right now, but I'm not real sure how it got here, or where it's going.
