Holiday Mischief Entry 2005

My preparations went well. I began my plan right after Marcus won last years contest. I had entered a virus that would forward all sexual content emails to clergy people all over the world, no matter who the email was intended for. Unfortunately, when I activated the virus it blew up and only forwarded the emails originally written by clergy people to other clergy people. I was disqualified. Marcus won with his adding of NMFX to the water supply of France. NMFX being his secret formula. He named it NMFX which stands for No Mother Fucking X. By adding NMFX to the water systems of France Marcus created a situation where any man in France who drank water there after the 20th of December couldn't get an erection until four days after they quit drinking the water. His system dripped NMFX into the water from December 20th until New Years Day.

Marcus got me thinking. Perhaps some wonderful mischief would get the prize instead of something as nasty as what Marcus had done.

Mischief Contest Entry 2005:

In mid-January I got a job at a university in the biochemistry department. Two of the professors were doing research into pheromones and how they trigger thoughts and behaviors in humans. With a bit of manipulation of my resume (which I made up the day before) I was able to be assigned to their lab as an assistant.

By March first study and observation of their methods and thinking enabled me to begin altering their experiments and results so they headed in a promising direction. No one suspected that I was not human.

In mid-May one of the compounds that Dr. Williams was testing produced a strong reaction in the first six subjects. What Dr. Williams noted was that all six subjects reported being attracted to each other within half an hour after using a hand cream with the test compound added. What he did not note was that after the six left the lab they all had sex with at least one of the other participants.

I altered the compound and Dr. Williams' notes, keeping the data on the compound that was successful for my own use. I shunted Dr. Williams in the direction of looking at increasing the speed with which a similar compound would be absorbed. .

I moved to a team working with Dr. Heimmer and we worked on prolonging the effects of any compound of a certain type. I am not including any specific formulas or names for the compounds, amino acids, hormones or hormone substitutes that we were using and/or creating. I am calling all of them compounds for security reasons.

Testing subjects with a modified compound that only produced a mild attraction between subjects we were able to sustain that attraction for four days. I again modified the doctor's notes and results and kept the data on the four-day success for my own uses.

I had not, at this point, tested the compounds together on a small group of subjects. I was somewhat concerned that if the results were as strong as I thought they might be the subjects may have lasting consequences and I would again be disqualified. (see rule 8a which specifies that all effects of our mischief must be gone or repairable before January tenth) However, I knew I must test the complete compound and soon.

I was able to isolate six subjects for the Labor Day weekend at a lodge in the mountains near Los Angeles. I added the complete compound to the drinking water system that served only that lodge. I took up residence in the lodge as a hired cleaning person and kitchen aide so I could monitor their reaction and behavior.

First to arrive were the three men of the experiment. They showered and one asked me to make iced tea. The showers were not part of the filtered system of drinking water and did not introduce the men to the compound. As I was making the iced tea the three women subjects arrived so I added the compound tainted water to the tea.

I sat the pitcher of iced tea and glasses on a table and then secreted myself out of sight so as not to interfere with the test. All six subjects drank the brew and within ten minutes all six were having sex in various rooms of the lodge. Ron and Karen tore the clothes off each other and joined in the large living room, using the couch, coffee table and floor. Alex and Carol were headed for a walk when the urge hit them. They stripped off their clothes and consummated their urges on the front porch, the steps, and on the front lawn. Marigrace and Harvey were climbing the stairs when they were hit by the urge. Their clothes hung over the handrail while they humped the rest of the way upstairs. Marigrace was quite loud when she orgasmed and she orgasmed quite often. After the initial encounters all three couples moved to their rooms and repeated their efforts.

The weekend saw every partner having sexual encounters with all the others staying in the lodge. The men seemed to have some problems psychologically with their urge for sex with another man and the level of enjoyment they derived from each encounter. However, soon they were happy with whoever they seemed attracted to at any given moment.

The women seemed quite happy whenever they "felt the urge" during the weekend and did not spend any significant time discussing the psychological implications of their urges.

I stopped the doses of the compound (now referred to as FNFO, Fuck Now Fuck Often) on the morning after the subject's first dose. It seemed to wear off after two days. Upon return to campus all six resumed their sexual partners from before the experiment and all six also added other partners of their same sex. This pattern did revert after three more days.

On October third I had made fifty-five gallons of FNFO and had taken it with me when I left the university. I moved to Atlanta and got a job at the Coka-Cola company in their Diet Coke facility. I modified a water filter to inject small amounts of FNFO into Diet Coke. The distribution of these cans and bottles of Coke will have them arrive in stores two days before Christmas. So far just over eight million cans and two million bottles have been produced. There is still enough FNFO to make another hundred thousand doses.

This may go down as the worlds most fucked up Christmas ever! I just may win the prize for the best holiday mischief for 2005. It may be more than advertising when they say, "Things go better with Coke!"