Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 058

Her eyes slid right over Kisa as if she wasn't there, and it was only because she was trying to find her that Kisa came into focus. It was almost like the room had been hesitant to separate from her. This is how it always was with the cat girl. She was a presence in the room that was hard to detect, unnoticeable in the best of circumstances, and it had to be more than just her diminutive appearance. It was certainly a kind of magic.

Beth looked over at Quetzalli, then Dana. The ghost that Quetzalli had touched had looked different after being zapped, much like Jenny did when she manifested. Why were these ghosts different from Jenny? How come they didn't drain the energy from the room? And lastly, how the hell were they able to come into the house?

These thoughts danced around in her mind as she took in the room and considered the situation. There was a shadow castle out back, a possessed Jabberwock out front, and a whole lot of confusion going on. What would Mike do?

"Fuck his way out or get lucky," she muttered with a grin. She wasn't certain how to accomplish the former, and was definitely keeping her fingers crossed for the latter. Still, it wasn't enough to wonder what Mike would do, because right now, this was her problem.

"Kisa." She spoke to the cat girl as she manipulated the knob of the closet. "I need you to follow Marco to the Labyrinth, he may already be there. If you get a chance to stop him, take it, otherwise stay back."

"You just want me to follow him? Why?"

"When he leaves the Labyrinth, he will probably jump in the reflecting pool at the entrance, it's a shortcut to the front closet. I'm guessing he won't expect anyone to follow him, so you'll be our secret weapon. He cannot leave here with that book, or God knows what else he may be taking. Now hurry."

"But—"

"Go!" Beth pointed into the cave, and Kisa scowled before entering the tunnel. She may have hurt Kisa's feelings, but now wasn't the time for pleasantries. "We need to figure out how to get the ghosts out of the house. Zapping them seems to work, and I have a theory. Did you ever see that map that Death and Mike drew, the one with the overlapping circles?"

Dana nodded.

"Well, I think that's what's happening. They came out of the gate, but they aren't fully here, it's why they pass through everything. The house can't properly kick them out because they aren't fully inside it. When Quetzalli zapped that one, it was forced to absorb all that energy, which made it manifest like Jenny did. Once it was fully here, the geas booted it out!"

"I didn't see Jenny manifest, but I'll take your word for it." Dana looked at Quetzalli. "Do you think you could do that again, but on a bigger level?"

Quetzalli shook her head. "Not with my horn busted. I can do short bursts like before, but only one at a time. Oh, I know! We could do that thing you did, from that time you had me get naked."

Beth had no idea how to process that statement, but Dana's face lit up.

"Yes, that's right! If we can wire you into the house itself, you'd have plenty of juice to manifest an EM field, I bet that would work! We'll have to bypass the breaker outside, so—"

"Just go do it. I'll see what I can do about the Jabberwock. Go!" Beth followed the others out of her room and down the stairs, and they split at the bottom. Beth swallowed the lump in her throat as she ran into the office and saw that the bookshelf had been ransacked. It might take her too long to bring in Sofia from the Library, so she decided to strike out on her own.

On her way out the ruined door, Jenny manifested momentarily to take down a rogue spirit, then vanished with a giggle. Out front, the fight with the Jabberwock appeared to be at a stalemate. Even though the thing had been blinded and crippled, it continued to move about, and currently had Abella pinned under one of its clawed feet. The whole front yard was full of snow and ice, and Yuki stood by the ruined front porch, moving her arms about as if performing a dance while giant icicles lifted from the snow and launched themselves into the Jabberwock's body.

"How is that thing still alive?" Beth asked.

"That's just it, it isn't alive," Yuki responded. "It can't think for itself, and all the souls inside are determined to keep piloting it until there's nothing left." She sent another volley of ice at the Jabberwock, knocking it off of Abella. "Even if we destroy the head, the spirits can move the body. We need to take them out."

"Any ideas how to do it?"

Yuki spun about, her cheeks dark with frustration. "Yes, of course. I'm just doing all this other shit first because it's been a slow day."

Beth held up her hands in surrender. "Where's Tink?"

"No idea. Abella found me, so I came right away, and—" Yuki's eyes widened, and she summoned an icy barrier over her head that shattered when the Jabberwock's tail struck it. "I'm kind of busy!" she shouted, then turned her attention back toward the beast.

On the other side of the yard, Suly was tearing his way through a group of souls that had him cornered. It was almost like the phantom army knew that he was the only thing that could hurt them right now, and the sheer volume of them kept him occupied. Beth ducked back into the house to avoid the battle out front, her mind whirring with ideas.

She stepped back out front and put her hands around her mouth like a megaphone. "We need to get the Jabberwock out back," she called.

"Why?" Yuki asked.

"Just do it!" Beth disappeared back into the house and then ran out back. Dana was unspooling the wire from the giant cable that Tink had left outside, and Quetzalli stood just in the doorway, her nervous eyes locked on the gate at the back of the yard.

"Are you done?" asked Beth.

"Almost." Dana had ripped the cover off the fuse box and was carefully pulling out one of the wires. "This is the 220 line, so if I can just—"

There was a pop, a flash of light, and then Dana was on the ground, huddled up in a ball, her fingers curled up. Her body spasmed a couple of times and then she got back up and shivered.

"I'm not exactly following safety guidelines," she stated, then stepped on top of a rock and used a wire nut to attach the wire to the line she had just exposed. "Ugh, my teeth still feel like they're wiggling in my head. Quetzalli, I think you're up."

"Okay." Quetzalli grabbed the other end of the line which had been stripped, and then touched it with her finger. There was a zap, and the air was briefly electrified. "I think you've got it."

"Good, we'll go to the second floor and then I'll plug you in." Dana looked back at Beth. "If this works, we'll clean house, but they still might come swarming back in." When Beth looked down the hill, she could see an ominous mass of shadows milling about by the door, as if waiting.

"Good. You'll want to be inside, because—" Beth was cut off by the sound of tiles being shredded from the roof, and then the Jabberwock's tail flipped over the side, dangling over their heads for a moment. The tail vanished again, then reappeared, this time with Abella dangling from the edge of it. The gargoyle yelled and pulled, but only succeeded in ripping a chunk of tail off before she tumbled to the ground. The Jabberwock roared up above, and then scrambled away.

Abella stood, wiped the Jabberwock's ichor off of herself, then glared at Beth. "I hate this," she said in her thick, French accent. She tossed the chunk of tail in her hands away and then took to the sky once more.

"Because that," Beth said, watching the gargoyle disappear over the roof. "We need the Jabberwock out here."

Dana shrugged. "You're the boss." She helped carry the coiled up wire and the two of them went into the house.

Beth looked down the hill at the shadowy mass around the gate. If she went down there, would the spirits be able to hurt her? If she passed through the gate, they would definitely be able to, and she worried that they may grab her and drag her through. She had no way to lock the gate if she closed it, and she needed to find a way to bring Cerberus onto this side of the gate. Suly would be her best bet, but he was surrounded by angry souls.

"Shit, shit, shit," she cursed, moving down the hill. Could the centaurs help? She might be able to bring them here, but then what? And they were cut off from Ratu whose magic might help. Jenny was running interference inside, so would be of very little help.

Who was she forgetting?

Behind her, the lights in the house flickered, and then the air was filled with the shrieking of tormented souls. The windows exploded as hundreds of balls of light burst out of the house and drifted toward the ground like bits of ash, only to vanish into the dirt. Bits of glass tinkled against the cobblestones of the back yard and she covered her head to protect herself. The flickering lights went out, and the smell of burning plastic filled her nostrils. There seemed to be no movement inside, which meant that the ghosts had been purged from the home, at least temporarily.

Up above, the Jabberwock had wrapped itself around one of the turrets, caving in part of the roof over Mike's bedroom. Abella had her tail caught in the Jabberwock's mouth and was being shaken like a cat that had caught a mouse, her stony body taking yet more chunks out of the roof. Yuki was up there as well, freezing the roof, trying to get the Jabberwock to slip and fall into the backyard.

She hoped Mike was faring better than she was.

The saw slid through the last piece of metal, and the bar fell to the ground with a metallic clang. Looking up, he saw that the gap was now wide enough for Cecilia to squeeze through, so he stuck his hand out for her and she accepted.

When he pulled, steam rose from her flesh, but she said nothing. Once free, she threw herself onto him and let out a cry of joy. Tears flowed freely down her face as she peppered him with kisses and spoke rapidly in Gaelic, then held him once more.

Mike glanced at the faerie queen, who watched as if bored. Certain she was up to something, he pushed Cecilia away, then tilted her head up by her chin. "Let's get you home."

She nodded, and he packed up the saw and put the backpack on. They walked a few feet away before Mike paused, then looked at the banshee.

"How do we get home from here anyway?" he asked.

"I can get us there." Cecilia closed her eyes and opened her mouth to sing. The sound of her voice penetrated straight through him, raising the hairs on the back of his neck. He took her hand in his and watched as a golden circle formed in front of them, featuring a sandy beach with an ocean of stars on the other side.

Squeezing her hand tightly, they walked toward the portal together. They were almost to it when Cecilia froze in place, jerking his arm back.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and turned to look at her. A golden spotlight shone down on her from above, and she was motionless inside, as if trapped in time. "Cecilia? What the hell?"

He yanked her hand, but was unable to move her. He looked past her shoulder at the queen, who still looked bored and was contemplating her fingernails.

"You said you would allow us to leave unhindered!" he shouted. "What the fuck is this?" He tried to step into the spotlight and push Cecilia out, but it was no use. She was unmoveable.

"Oh, I did nothing. This one is on you." The queen stood, her robes shifting around her as she clapped slowly. "As promised, you found a way to enter my court via the Underworld, so I allow you to leave. But per your addendum, the two of you will leave unharmed, as well as intact."

"Neither of us are harmed, nothing happened after I got here."

"Please." The queen approached him now, a smirk on her face. "Unharmed and intact, foolish Caretaker. Words that can be interpreted in many ways." She stood by Cecilia now, and hooked her finger in the front of Cecilia's blouse and tugged downward.

The pale skin between Cecilia's breasts were revealed, along with a thin scar that had been left behind by a magic dagger. The witch Sarah had cut Cecilia with the dagger, but Mike hadn't thought twice about the injury since.

"The wound is healed," Mike protested, but the queen held up a hand to silence him.

"You said unharmed and intact. I could argue that she is not in the condition she was created in, therefore neither condition applies." The queen stroked Cecilia's cheek lovingly, then raised her fingers to touch the strands of red hair.

"That doesn't even make sense," he shouted, heat rising in his cheeks. "That's just your interpretation!"

The queen laughed. "And? It's my realm, Caretaker. I interpret our agreement to mean that she will leave here in a state of perfection." She snapped her fingers and the golden spotlight turned silver, casting Cecilia in an eerie glow. The banshee floated now, a look of concern on her face. "So I will reset her. Make her brand new again, as if she were freshly created."

"No!" Panic appeared on Cecilia's face. "No, please, not that!"

"What do you mean reset?"

"Tear her apart and put her together. Minus the impurities, of course. The hair, the scar, and also this." The queen hooked her fingers near Cecilia's face and then yanked. A diaphanous substance appeared in her fingers, stretched tightly across Cecilia's face like a caul.

"What is that?" Mike asked.

"A parasite. Cecilia here has been growing a soul." When the queen let go, the soul snapped back into Cecilia's body, causing her to gasp. "A tiny little piece of you has been floating around in there long enough that it's growing. Even if something happens to you, this...remnant would linger and fester, making her more like a mortal with every passing day."

"Don't," Cecilia begged, her sightless eyes settling on Mike. "Don't let her do it!"

"Disgusting." The queen shook her head. "You see, I plan to let her leave with you, but not before I wipe her clean completely. She will be unharmed and intact, born anew and allowed to leave with you if she chooses. She will have no memory of you, or anything else for that matter, so she may decide to stay here with her mother."

"You can't do this," Mike growled.

"And yet, I will." The queen raised her hands as if to snap her fingers. "Out with the old, in with the new."

Cecilia opened her mouth in a silent scream.

As the queen's fingers came together, Mike crossed the distance between them and clamped his hands over hers. The queen turned to face him, her clear complexion turning a dark shade of green as the ground beneath them trembled.

"A duel," he shouted in her face. "I challenge you to a duel!" It was an act of desperation. The thought of Cecilia being erased horrified him, but now he felt like he had lathered himself up with honey and hugged a cranky bear.

The queen rolled her eyes. "Enlighten me, Caretaker. I know exactly what you want if you win, but what do you even have to offer? There's no amount of money or power I care for, and it's not like—"

"You can kill me." He stood his ground, his hands on hers. "If you win, you have my permission to bypass whatever protection the previous agreement granted and kill me. But just me, not any future Caretakers."

"Please, that wouldn't...I can't even..." Her green complexion became the color of ivory once more, and she pulled her hands from his. She reached into the air and pulled out a golden scroll that was so bright that Mike had to look away when she unfurled it. The document itself was huge, unraveling around them and hovering like a snake-shaped cloud, filling the small island. The queen perused it as if looking for a specific passage, muttering to herself.

"Well?" Mike asked.

The queen frowned. "Perhaps. But do you understand the rules of our duel? I get to choose the weapon, and you know I'm going to choose magic. According to this document, I'm not allowed to harm you, and you can't let me out of it in advance, because I would kill you anyway. I can do you no harm, Caretaker, not even with your permission." She shook her head. "As much as I would love to destroy you at your own stupid game, there's no bypassing the rule, so no deal."

"Wait!" Mike put up his hands, his mind racing. "What does the contract say about harming me?"

"It's written in the language of Creation, which leaves no room for argument. But in your mortal language, it essentially says that I shall not be allowed to directly cause you bodily or mental harm."

This was all a bad dream, and he needed to find a way to wake up. "Bad dream," he muttered, inspiration striking. "Your Majesty, what if I chose the Dreamscape as the location? I am allowed that much. You choose magic as your weapon, I choose the Dreamscape as the location. Technically, what happens in a dream doesn't actually harm me, right? It may feel real, but we would be fighting on a spiritual level. What do you think?"

The queen's face twisted up, but then she turned to look at the contract. Several minutes went by, but Mike didn't dare take his eyes off of her as she moved through the magical language of the scroll. Finally, she looked up at him, suspicion on her face. She was right to be suspicious, because he was already thinking about how he had defeated Lily in the Dreamscape. It was possible that the queen wouldn't know that Naia lived in there as well, so he would have an ally.

"What are you up to?" she asked.

"Well? What does it say?" he replied, dodging her question.

"You're right. We could fight in the Dreamscape, it would be allowed. We would have to set terms. For instance, whoever decides to wake up first loses. That would be a proper duel, and I know that you have been training with the succubus, and I even believe that you think your mastery of the Dreamscape will somehow give you an advantage over me. But why? Surely you must be holding a card up your sleeve, Caretaker."

"There are no cards up my sleeve," he assured her, making sure to picture a literal stack of cards hidden away in his clothing. The faerie queen would know if he was lying, and when it came to actual cards up his sleeve, he certainly had none. "Your soul versus mine, in the Dreamscape. My Dreamscape, because apparently my dream passport has been revoked, but it does have a nice beach with a view of—"

"Shut up, Caretaker. You do realize that I will still have the full range of my magic?" He could hear the eagerness in her voice, eagerness that was about to lead her into a trap of his own.

"As would I," he told her. "You're going to need all the help you can get."

"When I defeat you, I'm going to turn you into a beetle and grind you into the ground where you stand," she told him as she walked toward her throne. "And when I'm done, I'm going to enchant the bloody smear left behind so that it never washes away. Your stain on the floor will be the first thing I see that sparks joy every morning for eternity. In fact, I won't even turn you into a bug. I will summon one of the giantfolk to do the task for me, that I may see the look on your face as the life is squeezed from your body. Oh, the possibilities!" She folded her robes up and sat down on the chair. Her cheeks were turning green again. "If you win, I release Cecilia in her current condition without any change. If I win, the terms of my agreement with the Architect no longer protect you, and I smash you like a fucking bug."

He swallowed the lump in his throat, then looked at Cecilia. She shook her head sadly, then reached for him. He put his hand against hers, and was surprised at how warm it felt. It was hard to believe that she had a soul growing inside of her, using a piece of his soul like the impurity around which every raindrop formed.

Apparently he wasn't going to get away from Quetzalli's storm facts, even here. "I agree," he told the queen. "So when do we—"