Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 077

The memories broke, and Mike was floating in a field of stars. Glittering light flowed like water, and he saw Naia across from him, his hands in hers. The runes on her torso blazed with an intensity that was painful to look at as they shifted around beneath his gaze.

"Your magic is all over the place, lover." She grabbed his face with her hands and pulled him close. Nebulous clouds of red and purple floated ominously in the distance as if watching them. "Let's see if we can't set you right again."

And when she pressed herself into him, he felt their souls mix and spin. It was new, yet familiar, and the distant clouds broke apart into stars that doubled in number the ones he could already see. Each one sparkled as if polished anew, and his soul filled with light.

Mike arched his back as he groaned, then came hard inside of Naia. A magical wave of light radiated outward, scattering the levitating water droplets. The resulting spray soaked everything around them as it was carried along by both his magic and Naia's. The swirling core in the center of Naia's body unleashed a beam of light in the direction of the wrought-iron gate. It glowed briefly, then faded back to normal.

The ground around the fountain vibrated as he caught his breath, his limp body being squeezed between Naia's legs as she held him close against her skin. Below them, Amymone was gasping for air, her arms shaking.

"That was hot and all," Amymone said, breaking the silence. "But after that orgasm, I'm tired of being your furniture."

"You have the personality for it." Naia laughed as she slapped her sister on the ass, causing Amymone to squawk. "Maybe I'll have Mike polish you later."

"Holy shit," Mike muttered, gasping for air. His heart pounded as he slid out of Naia and fell into the remaining water of the fountain. Amymone stood, causing Naia to tumble over and transform back into water on impact with the ground.

"Here, let me help." The dryad pulled Mike to his feet and helped him to the edge of the fountain. He thanked her and got out, his legs shaking beneath him. "Do you think it worked?" she asked as Naia reformed behind her.

"I really hope so."

He walked toward the edge of his yard as the others came out of the house behind him. Up above, the clouds were building up into a massive thunderhead, one that Quetzalli would have been proud to spend hours detailing to him.

Once at the gate, he touched the bars again and stared through them, willing the land beyond to change.

His senses expanded once again, but this time, he felt the magic wrap itself around the stone fence as the forest beyond filled with fog. A shape moved among the trees, and the three-headed human form of Cerberus emerged.

"You are back," they said, each of them looking hesitantly out into the fog. "Things are wrong in here."

"How so?" he asked as he pulled open the door.

"The gate was gone," they told him as they walked forward and pressed against his body. He could hear them inhaling his scent, and then a triple sigh of contentment followed. "The demons were chased away. It has been too quiet."

As he held them, he felt a presence deep in the fog of the Underworld. It was a sensation similar to waking up to an imaginary sound, or thinking someone had called his name. When he concentrated on it, he had no doubts that it was the house he was feeling. His magic practically sang now, his whole body vibrating in anticipation.

Even though it was some distance away, he could feel the house approaching. Up above, the gloomy skies of the Underworld had become stormy like the clouds over his house. The horsemen were coming, and it was time to stop them. If they managed to make it back to Earth, it was game over.

"Well?" Yuki stood behind him now, her face serious.

"I can feel it," he replied, then pointed. Asterion and Sulyvahn appeared, the latter astride his dark horse. The dullahan's spinal-column whip was coiled up in his hands and Asterion's axe was strapped to his back. They all looked at each other, and Mike nodded. "It's time to go."

Cerberus transformed back into their animal form and both Mike and Yuki mounted her. Mike used his fingers to blow a piercing whistle. He wasn't certain where the mace had been hiding, but it shot toward him from over the roof and landed in his outstretched hand.

"We need to stick together," he told the others. "This place is dangerous."

"I've got this 'un's back," Sulyvahn replied, then patted Asterion's shoulder. "Ye just need to lead the way to our girl. Don't wait on us."

"Will do." He stared into the mists and scowled at the dark shapes that flitted within them. Anything that tried to stop them was about to have a very bad day.

"Wait!" Ratu stood at the gate with a scowl. "Don't forget this!"

She held up Harpe, which had been wrapped in a thick blanket. Mike took it from her, then contemplated the blade. He couldn't use it, and nobody else seemed that interested in it.

"Suly? Can you carry that?" he asked.

"Don't know that I'm much fer the sword," Suly grumbled in reply.

"I'm out of hands is all. Maybe someone at the house can use it?"

Suly laughed so hard that the seam in his neck spilled black smoke. "Oh, I be likin' that plan, I do!" He grabbed the blade with his free hand and tucked it under his arm. "I'll try not teh fall on it."

Mike nodded, then looked over at Yuki. She was clutching Cerberus' fur tightly in her fists.

"Ready to be my weapon?" he asked her.

"Fuck yeah," she responded with a grin that showed all her teeth. Her features became feral, her face elongating slightly as Cerberus dashed forward into the fog.

Together, the group disappeared into the mist.

🏠🏠🏠

"Well?" Beth stepped back from Opal, a roll of duct tape in one hand and a pair of scissors in the other.

"That still doesn't look right." Reggie stroked his chin as he contemplated Opal's jiggling body. The slime stood in the living room wearing a pair of leggings and boots. The boots had been duct-taped to the leggings to keep them from sliding free when Opal took a step.

"I'm doing my best here." Beth frowned at Opal's legs. They unwound a bunch of metal hangers and bundled them together to make a skeletal structure for Opal's body to adhere to. However, her feet kept popping out of the boots whenever she walked, so Beth had improvised.

"C'mon, like this." Lily was leaning off the back of the couch, her face inches from Opal's. She wore Beth's face, only patches of it were translucent like Opal's. "You need to set that bottom layer, otherwise you look like a porcelain doll."

Opal's face rippled as one layer turned pink while the other turned white. Lily had been using Opal's color shifting to replicate Beth's skin tone.

"Good, now harden that outer layer." Lily held up Beth's makeup palette. "Now are we thinking some fall colors, or full blown whore?"

Opal gave Lily the finger.

"They're being weird again." Kisa was keeping watch through the front window.

Lily groaned in exasperation and held the palette against her chest. "Is it a circle jerk?" she asked.

Kisa snorted. "Nah, they're spreading out and looking into the fog."

"I really could have used five more minutes." Lily pulled a pair of sunglasses out of her cleavage and stuck them to Opal's face. "You're the kind of girl who is hot, but only from a distance."

"That's still my face," Beth protested.

"I've always liked you better from behind." Lily winked. "You pack ass like a goddess. A couple hundred years ago, your butt would have had its own religion."

Beth's cheeks felt hot as she took a step away from Opal. The slime's butt looked fantastic in leggings, though she was wearing three pairs. One pair by themselves had been too porous, causing Opal to ooze outward. Luckily, Opal's control of her upper body was much better, meaning she was able to wear a shirt and sweater combo.

"Uh..." Kisa pressed her face against the window and turned it sideways. "Those fuckers are up to something. They're at the sides of the house now. The fog out there looks like it may be thinning."

"Then we might be out of time." Beth pulled Opal's sweater down. On close inspection, it was clear that Opal was not human at all. However, she was betting on the fact that the horsemen would be out for blood and would kill first, ask questions later.

"So run this by me again?" Lily turned into Beth, only her butt was unusually large. "Because I'm still not sure how I don't get blasted into dust."

"They don't know that Opal is still with us." Beth picked up a book they had drastically altered to look like the Grimoire and handed it to Lily. "Her shape shifting capabilities are an unknown quantity. So when they see two of me, they will assume one of them is you."

"But one of them is me." Lily pouted.

"Right. They know you can't hurt Murray or the angel, so you aren't a threat. So one of you two must be me, and therefore both of you will be taken out with extreme prejudice. But Mehkhkahrel's busy holding Death down with those blasts. If Murray, or Neferisfet, or whatever the fuck they're calling themselves doesn't want an ass-beating, they can't call off the angel to disintegrate you."

"I hate this plan."

"You don't have to like it." Beth slapped Lily's ass, causing it to pop into her normal shape. She handed another fake Grimoire to Opal. "You can handle a stabbing or two, but I can't."

Lily rolled her eyes. "Size queen here is worried about being stabbed," she muttered under her breath.

"Look, you two will be a diversion, and I will blast the fucker with the Grimoire." She had dug through so many spells until she had found one that was intended to disrupt dimensional shifts. It took almost twenty seconds to cast, and that was if she didn't screw up the pronunciations. "If the book is right, this place will become dimensionally locked for at least a few hours, which should buy Mike more time."

"Romeo better come through," Lily said, licking her lips. "If he does, I'm gonna blow him until he can't see straight."

"You and me both," Kisa added, then flushed. "I...didn't mean to say that out loud."

"Ah, it's okay, kitten." Lily moved next to Kisa and stroked her cheek with the back of a finger. "We could make it a team effort. Do that thing where our tongues run across each other, it'll be hot."

Beth cleared her throat. "If you are done distracting everyone, we should get to it. Opal, you ready?"

The slime held up a thumb, then stumbled forward. Beth caught her and held her up.

"Kisa, grab Tick Tock."

"On it." She picked up the mimic and slung it over her shoulders. Beth walked behind her and stuffed the duct-tape and scissors into the bag. She doubted she would need them, but if she was walking into the end of the world, she wanted access to duct-tape.

Besides, it wasn't the only weird thing she had tossed into Tick Tock for their fight. She didn't know if the mimic minded the eclectic mix of objects she had fed him, but it was hard to know what they might end up needing.

"Reggie, you're our backup for when everything goes wrong."

"I know my role." The rat king bowed his head. "I genuinely hope that my services are not needed."

"I know." She patted Reggie on the head, then picked up Jenny who stood nearby. "And you've got my back?

Jenny giggled. Your packed ass is protected.

Beth frowned, but knew better than to state how much she disliked that term. "All right, so let's do this. Plugs and places!"

As one, everyone but Opal stuffed cotton plugs into their ears. Kisa stood by the door, her hand on the latch. Reggie moved to the window and picked up a pair of binoculars. Lily stood at the door, followed by Opal.

"I would like to go on record--" Lily began.

"Noted." Beth nodded at Kisa, who opened the door.

The hideous shrieking was diminished by the cotton, and Lily burst out of the house first, holding up the Grimoire. She pointed at Murray dramatically and started shouting.

"There once was a man from Nantuck--" Lily was cut off when War threw his sword, spearing her though the side and sending her sprawling across the ground.

Opal got further into the yard, her whole body wobbling dramatically. Pestilence flew through the air in an attempt to keep up.

Beth crouched down and walked along the deck until she had a good view of Murray. Opening the Grimoire, she began reading the incantation, feeling her entire body knot up in pain. The foreign magic she summoned coated her like glue, then spread outward along the ground. Unseen by Murray, it honed in on him and latched onto whatever magic he was using to move them back to Earth. Her magic sniffed out the boundaries of Murray's spell and sank into place.

"Aargh!" Lily squirted blood dramatically while holding her stomach. War strolled casually over, a shit-eating grin on his serpentine face.

"That was stupid," he told her once he was close. Over his shoulder, Pestilence had gotten a hold of Opal and carried her up into the air. Opal's body stretched dramatically, but the slime held it together as they disappeared into the mist.

Doing her best to ignore the others, Beth continued the recitation. The hair on her arms stood on end as she summoned primal forces that would lock the house in one location.

"Dumb bitch." War pulled his sword out of Lily, then picked her up. "I've been looking forward to this."

"Me, too." Lily's eyes lit up and her tail appeared. It darted forward and buried itself in War's eye.

The horseman let out a scream as he tried to push Lily away from him. She held on tight, her tail withdrawing and stabbing again. War turned his face away, sparing his remaining eye, then slammed Lily into the ground. The succubus let out a grunt of pain, and then cried out when War smashed her into the ground.

"Shit!" He gave her a kick, which sent her sliding across the ground. She tumbled dramatically, transforming back into her usual form. When she tried to stand, Famine stepped from the gloom and smashed her in the face with his heavy scales. Moments later, Opal fell out of the sky and exploded on impact with the ground. The sound was akin to a bag of soup striking concrete.

Beth finished the chant, and the ground lurched beneath her. The whole house creaked and groaned overhead and everyone but Murray fell to the ground. Death slid out of the angel's golden beam, and was almost to his feet before the light came crashing down on him again.

Murray's face twisted into a mask of anger as he dropped his attention to the house. Spotting Beth, he lifted a hand and pointed at her.

"She's there!"

Beth slammed the Grimoire shut and tossed it to the side where Kisa waited. The catgirl slid the book into Tick Tock as Beth went running sideways along the front porch. She felt powerful magic swirling in her hands as she chanted a series of words that condensed the air around her into a hot ball of energy.

Pestilence appeared from above, their body surrounded by black insects that swirled around them.

"Fireball, motherfucker!" Beth hurled the energy, willing it to ignite. The ball of fire caught Pestilence by surprise, and they fell onto the ground and rolled back and forth to smother the flames.

War smashed through the lattice of the porch, his sword left behind. He was almost upon her when Beth pulled Jenny out of her hiding place inside her sweater and threw her.

PLAY WITH ME!

Jenny smacked War in the face, causing him to backpedal in terror. He swatted the doll away, but she hovered in mid-air, a sickly aura surrounding her body as wooden planks and siding ripped free of the ground and smashed into the horseman.

Distracted, War didn't notice Kisa come from behind and unleash Tick Tock. Bladed arms slashed into War's legs, toppling him.

A void formed in Beth's gut and she clutched her belly in agony. A thick hand grabbed her by the hair and pulled her over the edge of the railing and onto the ground.

"You like that?" Famine asked. "That's what true hunger feels like. It isn't when you just miss a snack or a meal. We're talking days on end, a sensation that consumes your every thought."

Kisa came running up behind Famine, the scissors in her hand. Famine stepped aside at the last second and brought his hand down on the back of her head. Kisa let out a yowl as she hit the ground and went still.

Tick Tock sprouted metal legs, causing Famine to step away from Kisa. The mimic carried her away as Famine grabbed Beth by the collar and tossed her toward Murray.

"You have only delayed the inevitable." Murray shook his head. "I'm not sure what is sadder. The fact that you could have been my vessel, or the fact that mankind will never know you bought them an additional two hours of peace."

"I liked it better when you were a table," Beth said, then summoned another fireball and threw it.

The blast caught Murray in the face, scorching skin and hair. He cried out in pain, and Mehkhkahrel stopped blasting Death and turned its attention toward Beth.

"YE HAVE BEEN JUDGED," it declared, then lit up with golden fire.

"No!" Murray stepped between Beth and the angel. "Keep him down!"

Death was already on his feet, his dark cloak forming around him as he dashed toward Murray. Less than ten feet away, the Grim Reaper was blasted into the ground.

"That was close," Famine declared. Behind him, Pestilence rose from the ground, their hazmat suit covered in soot.

"Die! Die! Die!" War had grabbed onto Jenny and was busy smashing her into the ground with his foot. He stuck his hand out and his sword flew through the air and into his palm with a meaty thwack. Raising the blade high, tip pointed down, he laughed in glee.

Reggie bolted out of the door and climbed up the horseman's leg from behind. He disappeared under the loincloth and War dropped the sword, barely missing Jenny, then clutched his groin.

As War yelled in agony, Reggie fell to the ground and scrambled to retrieve Jenny. He disappeared between the splintered boards of the porch, dragging the doll to safety.

"I am so tired of this fucking house!" War declared, then lifted his sword and slammed it into the siding. His blade splintered the siding, but did little damage otherwise.

"Soon, brother." Famine grabbed Beth from behind and pulled the cotton from her ears before pushing her to the ground. That gnawing pain filled her again as the strength was leached from her body. "Time to die, little girl."

"Wait!" Murray put out a hand and landed on the ground. "Don't kill her yet."

"Why?" War had stepped off of the porch, dragging his sword behind him. "We don't need her. And don't you dare tell me you want her to watch as the end of the world comes. That's fucking amateur hour bullshit."

"It isn't that." Murray's eyes gleamed as he knelt down to scoop up some soil. He licked it with an abnormally long tongue. "Oh, you are a clever one."

Beth groaned. She had figured out long ago that they were in a pocket dimension, and the spell she had chosen didn't just anchor the house in place. It anchored the house and the land around them to her very soul. If she died, there was a good chance that the horsemen would be cast into the Underworld, or wherever she was destined to go. The Grimoire hadn't been clear on what would happen, but the spell had explicitly warned about the dangers of tethering a location to a living being and then slaying it.

"If you kill her, it will be days before we return, if not weeks." Murray's eyes narrowed until they became angry slits. "It can be undone in hours while she lives, so don't harm her."

"Can we kill the others?" War glared at Lily with his remaining eye. "The human is off-limits, but what about that demonic bitch?"

Lily spread her wings and took to the sky, only to be tackled by Pestilence. She fought back, slashing with dagger-like nails, but Pestilence didn't seem to care.