Home for Horny Monsters Ch. 078

Mike contemplated her logic, his anger at her deception fading. The realization that Zel's choice had been more about the child than him tempered his feelings. His own damaged childhood had been the result of destructive selfishness, and he had vowed long ago to be different.

"I still don't like that you lied to me," he muttered. "You make good points, but I really wish you had more faith in me as a person. I don't know the first thing about being a parent, especially one that isn't fully human. I would have deferred."

"And for that, I'm truly sorry." She moved her hand to his cheek. "And I want you to be there for our foal, but we both know you can't be around full-time. You're the Caretaker, your role is so much bigger than either of us realize. After what happened with the horsemen, I can't help but feel you have a bigger destiny waiting for you."

"I certainly hope not." He patted the egg. "I've got enough excitement in the near future as it is."

"In just a few more months, actually." Her lips were now next to his. "That is, if you can forgive me."

When Zel moved close, he felt the egg vibrate against his chest. Waves of heat traveled through his chest to his hands.

"Oh!" Zel's flanks rippled and her eyes widened in surprise. "It just kicked! Want to feel?"

He paused, taking in the excitement in her eyes. Nothing about his life was ordinary, and it never would be again. As waves of heat pressed into his fingertips, he shifted to the side so that he could place his hand on Zel's horse-stomach. A sharp poke hit the palm of his hand, like a high-five.

A feeling of recognition radiated from the egg in response.

"We're going to be parents." He took Zel's hand in his and squeezed. "I'll try not to fuck it up."

"So you forgive me?" Her eyes were full of shimmering hope.

"We're both going to make a lot of mistakes." He placed his hand on the egg and smiled. "Maybe forgiveness is a great thing to have in common."

"Thank you." She kissed him lightly on the cheek.

"Do you want to hear something funny?" A small grin broke through his lips.

"I would love to." She hugged his arm and laid her head on his shoulder.

"I'm going to have two kids with a total of twelve legs, yet will never have to spend money on socks, shoes, or pants." He waved his hand dramatically at the sky. "Just think of the savings."

She rolled her eyes. "I thought dads were supposed to be funny," she said.

"I've still got a lot to learn about being a dad," he replied with a grin. "But I'm looking forward to the challenge." It was going to be hard, but worth it. He stood there with Zel, their gazes on the horizon as the egg pulsed in its carrier, filling him with love and light.

The steady thump of rain on the roof was punctuated by distant thunder that made the old plantation house's bones creak. Moonlight reflected in the dozens of puddles that had formed in the front yard, making it look as if hidden creatures watched the home in anticipation.

A cry of agony fluttered down the hall, making Elizabeth shiver. She ran her hands down the long braid of her hair and turned her attention away from the window toward the small figure who sat across from her reading a book. It was a young man with bleach-blond hair and a tattoo on his wrist. The skin around his hairline was peeling away to reveal gray patches underneath.

"You're going to need a new body soon," Elizabeth said. "That one doesn't have much time left."

"Tell me something I don't know." Sarah's voice was husky, a result of male vocal cords. She adjusted the glittering stone that hung around her neck. "With this weather being so shitty, my options have been limited, Mother."

There was another cry of pain, but Elizabeth put it out of her mind. There was nothing that could be done for Amir in his current state, but now that he had a mouth, his regeneration was quite unnerving. It was why they were using a property that had been abandoned long ago. While they could afford to stay somewhere nicer, the screams would be hard to explain.

Amir shrieked, causing the lights above them to turn on spontaneously and then flicker.

"Shit." Elizabeth walked over to the nearest lamp to unscrew the bulb, but it continued to glow in her hand.

"At least we know he's still as powerful as ever," muttered Sarah. "Would hate to go through all of this and--"

Elizabeth summoned a spectral hand and slapped her daughter with it.

"He may not have ears yet, but he has ways of hearing us," she warned. "Unless you want him to make a pig wear that necklace, I suggest you shut the fuck up."

Sarah rolled her eyes. "Fine," she muttered, setting down her book. "I just hate what we've been reduced to. We were once the most powerful men and women in the world, and now we're... this." She gestured at herself in disgust. "And let me tell you something else. I've been--"

Someone knocked on the door, cutting Sarah off mid-sentence.

Elizabeth scowled, then walked toward the front door. There was absolutely no good reason for anyone to be on the property in the middle of a rainy night, so she summoned shadowy tendrils around her body as she walked. Once at the door, she started weaving a spell that would allow her to see through it when the knock came again.

"You can forget about using your magic," a voice warned her through the thick wood. "At best, you will need a new door. It has been a long journey and I am tired."

Cautious, Elizabeth opened the door, wondering if someone else from the society had survived. As far as she knew, it was just her, Amir, and Sarah, but stranger things had happened.

The dark figure on the porch was pale with a cruel, bloodless smile on his lips. He took off the hat he wore and placed it over his stomach as if getting ready to enter church.

"The hour is late," he informed her. "I have words I would discuss with your master."

Elizabeth frowned, then opened her mouth to ask who he was, but no sound emerged. She clawed at her throat, gasping for air.

"I don't speak with underlings," he declared. "Unless you were going to invite me in?"

She gasped and nodded, beckoning the man inside.

"Thank you." He stepped across the boundary and handed Elizabeth his hat. "Show me where he is."

Stunned, she obeyed without a second thought. The stranger followed her through the house, pausing long enough to hold his hand out at Sarah.

"You can sit there and be quiet," he commanded.

Sarah obeyed, panic filling her eyes.

Elizabeth led him further into the home, and then down into the basement. In a dimly lit room, what was left of Amir had been strapped to an old, wooden chair. Large parts of his body were simply missing, though his hands and feet were connected to his torso by thick tendrils of darkness. His head had only formed up to his upper lip, and Elizabeth winced as he cried out in pain.

A patch of darkness stained the air over Amir, and bits of ash drifted down across his body. If she stayed and watched, she might see one or two of them ignite and stick to his body.

It had been months since Amir had been pulled into the mirror world and destroyed. Immune to harm, his magic had been forcing his body through gaps in time and space to return here to Earth. Not only was the process long, but it was apparently very painful as he was reassembled on a molecular level. From where she stood, she could see veins and arteries, as well as some of his internal organs. She imagined the pain came from having severed nerves exposed to the air, but it was a guess at best.

"Now, now, this simply won't do." The stranger pulled a small black doctor's bag from nowhere and opened it. "By my estimates, it will be a better part of a decade before he comes all the way back."

"A decade?" Elizabeth looked at Amir. "By the looks of it, maybe a couple of years?"

"The process starts fast, ends very slow." He pulled a pair of syringes from his bag and jammed one into Amir's neck. A blue fluid disappeared, and Amir relaxed.

"You stopped the pain?" Elizabeth moved closer to see what the man was doing.

"No. I paralyzed his vocal chords. He still suffers, but now I don't." He grinned and used the other syringe to draw blood. "I believe I can speed up the process, maybe have him back together in a few years. But it will take time and resources."

"Who are you?" she asked. When the man looked at her, she felt her whole body tense up as he appraised her.

"You can think of me as a collector of sorts." He reached into his bag and pulled something out. "I'm here regarding this."

He tossed something to her and she caught it. It was a figurine holding a staff, but its features had been charred away.

"I don't understand." She looked at the man as he rose from a crouch.

"And I don't expect you to." He held out his hand and the figurine shot toward his outstretched palm. "You see, this piece in particular was very precious to me. It took me a lot of years to get it exactly where I wanted it, and now?" He squeezed the figurine into ash. "And now it's useless."

"What do you want from us?" Elizabeth didn't know why, but she was suddenly afraid.

The man grinned, then took the syringe and squirted Amir's blood on his tongue. He licked his lips and made a sour face.

"I want your master back in one piece. We have much to discuss, after all. Until then, I suppose we shall have to find other things to talk about." He walked closer to Elizabeth, his eyes shining with malice.

"Tell me everything you know about Mike Radley," he whispered, his voice like broken glass. He placed his long fingers around her neck and squeezed hard enough that she knew it would bruise. "And leave nothing out. After all, we've got plenty of time."

And with that, Book 5 is officially at a close!

I hope you've enjoyed this installment of HFHM. It was so much fun for me to write, even though parts of it were very difficult. I probably learned more about my own abilities from this book than any previous installment, and where I want to take the series from here.

The darker tone of this novel was in direct response to an oft-repeated criticism about Mike and how he always seemed to either get lucky or fuck his way out of trouble. I wanted to create a situation where mistakes were made and a price was paid.

Velvet ended up being a very divisive character for many reasons. Some of you couldn't see past her morphology, others disliked how she became a focus for Mike, and many of you fell in love with her. This has always been a story about seeing past what's on the outside, and I took great joy in seeing how many of you were able to do just that with Velvet.

Killing her was a difficult decision, but this has always been a tale about hard truths. Mistakes were made, and someone died. It wasn't something I did lightly, and it bummed me out for months as I wrote of the joy that Mike and Velvet found in one another. Maybe it was just a crush, or maybe something more, but I'm afraid we'll never know for certain.

Many of you have theorized the paternity of Zel's baby since the end of last year, so well done on your part! The clues were there, but I wanted just a bit of uncertainty. Some of you may not agree with the way she handled it, but no character in this tale is perfect.

One of the biggest lessons for me from this book was how difficult it is to manage and maintain such a large cast. It was important to me (from mid-way through Book 4) to find a way to separate the household into separate locations. Having the natural boundary of Oregon/House/Library not only enables me to tell better stories, but to allow me the freedom to explore stories in those locations outside of the house itself. You can expect better cast organization from me in future installments.

Speaking of future installments, the tone of Book 6 will be significantly lighter in tone. I wanted to recapture some of the whimsy from the first couple of books, and early reader feedback says that I am hitting that mark quite nicely.

On the topic of writing, despite some (random and weird) feedback telling me to go away or wrap it up, the story isn't done yet, and I'm not going to let anybody tell me when to stop. It does have an ultimate conclusion I am working toward, and I will not be convinced to squeeze everything together into a final, very rushed story just to make someone who is tired of the story happy. When all is said and done, the ultimate tale of Mike and his family will have a very definitive, satisfying end. I look forward to sharing it with you eventually, but Rome wasn't built in a day and I can only write so fast in my spare time. You lucky bastards reading this in the future probably know exactly how many chapters are left and won't know the struggle of waiting weeks between chapters (future kids and yer damned hoverboards, grumble grumble).

Anyway, my musings are over. Thanks to my beta readers, particularly TJ Skywind, for all their help over the last year. They've been there to catch me when I fall. Thanks to everyone who has rated/commented/subscribed, because you help me stay visible on this platform.

But most of all, thank you. A writer is only as good as their readers, and you all make me feel so awesome!

~Annabelle Hawthorne

P.S. Fuck Leeds