Honey, We Need to Talk

Darin walked into the living room after getting home from work to find his wife Stefanie sitting there waiting for him.

She had on a nice simple house dress, with her hands folded neatly in her lap.

"Honey, we need to have a long talk." She said, and she looked serious.

Darin's mind instantly flashed back over the last few days, wondering what he did this time?

Garbage? Nope, took that out. Did he leave the porn site logged in, or forget to clear the history? Nope, that wasn't it, he was always careful.

She found his pack of smokes he had hidden in his toolbox in the garage? He doubted she even would think of looking in there. He used to just have one on the way home but she always ragged on him about that, so he didn't smoke in the car any more.

He bet her Mom was coming for a visit! That was probably it, Stefanie knew Darin hated her, her Mother was always nagging him about getting a higher paying job, so he could take care of her daughter better.

"You can do it!" She would encourage, adding, "You can't work in that music store the rest of your life!"

Actually, Darin was thinking he could, he loved working on the old guitars, he was good at it. Besides, then he got to play them. When the customer wasn't around, he could play the instruments the way he wanted to, some of them looked at him oddly if they were around when he did that.

If he tried playing one at home, at least the way he liked to play, Stefanie would cover her ears and gripe at him to turn it down.

Darin liked to rock, get down, make the tools howl. Hell, it was intended to be loud.

Besides, $11.00 an hour and benefits, and he actually HAD a damned job! He had a lot of friends that seldom if ever worked at all, they were all waiting for the big break. Darin had made his stab at getting the big break, too, but it never came.

He had even painted his face and got some fake tattoos and a long wig, the young people in the clubs all screamed and yelled, but they never bought any of the records he had made.

Probably drunk, or stoned, he figured. That last record was some good shit, the sound of six ten inch speakers wailing away was cooler than butter on popcorn.

"Well?" Stefanie said, getting that impatient look on her face.

"Well, what?" He asked, his mind instantly taking off again. She had asked him something?

Oh, yea. Talk.

Maybe that was it, maybe she found out about the jam sessions? Those were forming into a bad ass rock band, they were all thinking maybe..just maybe?

"Darin!!"

Darin sat down quickly, giving her his undivided attention.

"Honey, it's no reflection on you, but I have never had a vaginal orgasm." She told him straight out.

Darin was already running excuses through his head on why he hadn't fixed the bathroom faucet yet, her statement caught him completely by surprise.

"What? Uhh...I...I don't know what that is, I didn't know there was even a difference? You have...I mean...don't you?" He managed, turning bright pink.

Where in the hell had THAT come from?

"Well, there is! My Mom told me all about it, and I have never felt it and I thought I would talk to you about it."

"OH."

Right, her Mother.

That figured. He felt himself getting a bit irritated, Stefanie's Mother was always coming up with SOMETHING that he wasn't doing right, but now she was getting Stefanie to complain about his lovemaking?

"Well. What am I supposed to do? All you need to do is tell me what you want."

"Mom says it's partly a mental thing, you know...excitement? The rest is..technique." She gave him a sweet smile, sensing that he was getting defensive.

Darin didn't answer.

"I know it's hard to talk about, but I hear that sex is lots better...for both of us, and that's what I want. Mom did ask me if you were too small but I told her that I didn't think that was it."

"That sounds real nice." Darin told her. Swell, Stefanie was discussing the size of his dick?

With her fucking Mother?

And what in the hell did she mean when she said she "didn't think" that was it?

"Your Mother needs to mind her own damned business!" He muttered, thinking if he could just get loose from her he could go out into the garage and have a smoke.

"Oh, don't be that way, she just wants to help."

"I suppose so."

"So you are willing to try, then?" She prompted.

"Uhh..sure!" Darin said, sensing a way out.

"Good! We can talk about it some more tonight when we are in bed. This will be so great!" She got up and headed for the kitchen.

Darin waited a minute, then slipped into the garage. It couldn't be too bad, and who knows? Maybe he could get some great sex, what the hell. He loved Stefanie, and loved the way her slightly chubby body almost lifted him off the bed when she got all hot and sweaty.

He even liked playing with her tits, one was bigger than the other by quite a bit so he could be on one side, then move over to the other and there was enough difference it was almost like getting some strange stuff.

He had some jim dandy fantasies doing it, but Stefanie was a little bit sensitive about that.

Darin snuffed out his smoke, washed his face and hands and sprayed himself down with the can of crap he had bought that was supposed to hide the smell.

"I wish you wouldn't smoke in the garage, you know that is bad for you." She told him the instant he walked back in.

Darin sighed and headed for the living room.

"Aren't you going to take a shower, you have time? Dinner will be in about a half hour."

Damn it! Hell, he had only been fixing guitars all god damned day, no fucking way was he dirty.

"Yes, honey! Good idea, I will." He went into the bedroom, stripped down and climbed in the shower. 30 seconds later he shut it off and grabbed a towel.

Dinner was uneventful, Darin was grateful for that. He went into the living room and was just completely settled in to watch the latest show about Ancient Aliens on Discovery when she marched out of the bedroom.

Darin looked up and blinked. She had on a top that covered her breasts, there were holes cut in it for her nipples to poke through. The bottoms she wore were just string, there was no crotch panel at all.

Something looked funny down there, but the furry black lace hid it a little bit.

"Uhhh...." He managed.

"You like?"

"I sure do." He started to get up, he could catch the TV show later, they repeated it every couple of days anyway.

"No, stay sat down. This is a fantasy, I am going to dance just like this for you..and your whole roomful of friends." She giggled at saying that, waving her hand around the room.

All there was was the couch and two empty chairs.

"But I am the only one here...?"

"Hush! Get into it, everyone is here, staring at me. Let them get all hot and bothered for me, then you will get all excited and that makes you get really hard." She began to wiggle her behind around. That was when he realized she had also shaved off all of her pubic hair.

Darin forgot all about the TV program, sat back down to watch her. She grabbed the remote, normally that would start a fight but right at the moment he was clever enough to keep his mouth shut.

The only music channel she could find was country and western, but what the hell.

Close enough, even if it was an old clip of Garth Brooks.

Stefanie wiggled around all over the place, then she went over to one of the other chairs and bent over, reaching back to spread her cheeks wide.

That was neat, the way her boobs were she could get one hopping up and down and the other one sort of swayed back and forth. Darin felt himself start to get downright hard.

"That's where Bobby always sits, I am bending over and letting him look at my bare pussy, he can see everything right up to my butt hole, honey." She rocked her hips back and forth, then up and down, right in front of the empty chair.

It did look erotic as hell but all Darin could think of was that Bobbie was the bass player and he was always taking off by himself and fucking up the works.

Hot licks, he called that. If they could just get him to stay with the fucking tune....

Stefanie stood back up, shook her titties back and forth.

"Now I am going to go show myself off to Jack." She moved to another empty chair and did the same thing.

Jack? Well, maybe. At least he could sing, and he played a mean harmonica.

Darin couldn't help himself, he started getting into it. An idea flashed into his mind. He stepped over to the china hutch and got a flashlight. Then he turned off the lights, switched on the flashlight.

"Hey!" Stefanie protested.

"Get down on the floor." He ordered, trying to make his voice sound stern.

"Why?" She asked.

"Get on the floor!" He repeated.

Stefanie dropped to her knees.

"On your back!" She did as he asked. Darin shined the light on her tits first, then on her lower body.

"Spread your legs, baby! Show us that cunt!" He shined the light on her, Stefanie opened her legs wide, began to rub up and down her thighs.

"Spread your cunt open!" Darin growled, doing his best to change his voice.

"Darin?" Stefanie suddenly got a mildly fearful tone in her voice, responding to his angry demand.

"Spread it! I am Jack, Darin isn't here. I am going to fuck your married pussy!"

"Oh, no, you can't! I am married, I can't!" Stefanie started to get into it.

Darin dropped to his knees between her legs, reached down and undid the buttons on his jeans.

"Hold it open!" He demanded, his erection in his hand. Stefanie reached down and spread herself out, she was actually quivering. Darin slammed himself into her, getting a loud "OOF!" out of her.

"This bitch is sloppy wet for my cock, Bobby!" He said over his shoulder in that fake voice, then he started pounding away at her. Stefanie was squealing and tossing her head back and forth, Darin only lasted a couple of minutes before he could not stop himself. He collapsed, feeling her lifting her hips and squirming herself against his pubic bone. He pressed forward and held himself there as she reached her own orgasm.

Later, they lay side by side on the carpet, she had both hands between them, letting her fingers open and close on his chest hairs.

"Was that it?" He finally asked.

"No, I don't think so but it was sure good." She purred.

Darin got up and went into the kitchen and got some paper towels to clean the mess up. He was wishing she wouldn't always buy the cheap shit.

She jumped when he wiped her up with the wet cold towel, then giggled again when he reached down and started tickling her pussy. Finally she scooted away from him and went into the bedroom.

Darin sat back down and switched the TV back to the ancient aliens show. That was interesting, one guy said that Noah didn't really go round up two of every critter on the planet, what they did was put frozen DNA into a database.

Darin wasn't too sure of that, he wasn't sure that Noah even had any freezers on the ark.

He turned it off when they started talking about how old Noah was really the result of artifical fertilization by aliens so he would be ready when the rains came.

Just how in the hell were the aliens supposed to know it was going to rain that much?

Stefanie was laying in bed, she had taken off the nutty outfit.

"What brought all of that on?" He asked, peeling off his shirt and pants.

"I was just trying to get you excited is all."

"What makes you think that some fantasy of Bobby and Jack seeing you like that would get me all excited?"

"I read the stories on that website you go to, you always forget to log off."

"Oh. Well, those are just stories, honey."

"You have some of them bookmarked." She giggled.

"Yea, but? I guess I do, sorry. That are just stupid fantasies, stuff like that never happens."

"Don't be, if it gets you excited then maybe you can give me one of those vaginal orgasms."

"Boy, do you have a one track mind!" Darin laughed.

"Mom says they are fantastic, Dad used to do it to her all the time."

Mom again.

He thought of Stefanie's Dad, he was about 5'6" and around 230 pounds, now that would be quite a sight, him on top of her Mom who might weigh 100 pounds if she were dipped in molasses. He snickered at the vision.

"What's so funny?"

"Oh...I was just thinking? Maybe if your Mom knows all about it, she could train me?"

"Mom? I never thought of that, good idea!" Stefanie said.

"I was KIDDING!"

"Oh. Well, OK then." She turned over and rolled up into a tight fetal position, her back to Darin. He reached down and rubbed her fanny, yep! No panties on. He snuggled up and slid his cock between her legs.

"Stop that, that's all you get. Now we have to wait until you are really horny so it's big and hard."

"It's big and hard right now!"

"Mom says it helps to wait until you are really in the mood, now quit it!"

Mom again.

Darin rolled over and went to sleep, a fantasy of whipping it out in front of her Mother just to show her.

Actually, that sounded like fun, he could visualize the shocked look on her face when she saw his big seven inches.

Anything to get her to just shut the fuck up, he thought, as he dozed off.

The next afternoon Bobby and Jack came into the shop. Darin had just finished resetting the striker screws on a 40 year old Epiphone red hard body, and repairing a short in the treble pickup.

They went back into the sound room to listen to him try it out.

He ran through the simple Creedence stuff, the neck on this tool was sweet and soft as silk, in no time he faded into some metal. Bobby grabbed an old Japanese bass Darin had just finished restringing, and started in. Like always, he was trying to lead. Jack pulled his harmonica out of his pocket and switched on one of the Shure mikes that were always ready to go.

Things got pretty noisy until the boss stuck his head in and yelled, "Customer!" Darin went out and waited on an older man that had a pony tail, he was bringing in his violin bow to have it restrung. Man, the thing had solid ivory ends on it, beautiful.

Later, he mentioned in passing to the guys that he and Stefanie had one hell of a session the night before. Of course the guys had to know all about it, it didn't take too much prompting to get Darin to tell them about what she had done.

They all laughed at that, Jack volunteered to come over and fulfill Stefanie's fantasy for her.

"Man, I bet Stef looks great with no clothes on, right? I would love to see that!" Jack said.

"In your dreams, asshole!" Darin told him. They finally left, Darin went back to fiddling with the beautiful old Epiphone. He was thinking he would give up his left nut for one of those.

He carefully put it away in the hard shell case, locked it into the storage locker. Then he headed for home, thinking he would sneak out and grab a smoke, maybe catch the last half of his TV show.

Stefanie was sitting in her chair when he walked in, on the couch was her Mother.

"Hi, Stef, Hi Julie!" Darin said brightly, managing to cover his irritation at her being there.

"Man, did I have a great day at work, a guy brought in an old Epiphone for repairs, you should see that thing, it's beautiful!" He told them.

"Have a seat, honey." Stefanie interrupted.

"Plus an old guy brought in a violin bow, it had real mother of pearl...." He looked at Stefanie, then at Julie.

He went and sat down.

"Darin, sexuality is a very important part of a relationship." Julie said.

"I know. Stefanie and I do fine, she is great!"

"Stef tells me that you are...a little bit..quick?" She got an honest to God smile on her face.

Darin just stared at her.

"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Darin. Lots of men have that...trouble. There are things you can do."

"There is nothing wrong with...."

"Denial. See? It's just like I told you, honey, men think of any talk at all like this as a challenge to their masculinity." Julie told Stefanie, who just nodded.

"Hey, look! I am not in any denial, I do just fine!"

"Stefanie says sometimes you don't get....hard? She can feel it...bend." Julie appeared to be enjoying this now.

Darin had no idea at all of what to say.

"So she asked me to help you, take a look." Julie reached in her purse and pulled out a pair of latex gloves.

"What?"

"It's all right, you know I worked for years as a nurse at the hospital, I know all about the male anatomy."

"You aren't going to...you don't mean...?"

"Yes, we do, honey. Mom just wants to help, so please. Let her check and see why you can't...." Her voice trailed off.

"I am not going to..."

"Yes, you are!" Julie stood up and advanced at him. Darin tried to scoot back into his chair.

"Just relax, Darin. I am only going to take a look and see if there is anything medical." She squatted down and reached for his pants.

"Stefanie!"

"It's OK honey, Mom is a nurse."

"Oh, man!" Darin felt his belt release, then Julies hands were fumbling at the buttons on his Levis.

"Stand up, Darin." She ordered.

Darin reluctantly stood up. Julie stripped his pants down to his knees, reached up and folded his briefs down. Darin hung there completely limp. She reached out and lifted his penis, slid back the foreskin.

"It does look all right, and appears nice and healthy, but it is a little small." Julie said.

Darin's face was bright red, he could feel his cock doing it's level best to suck right up inside.

"Does it get larger when you get him excited?" Julie turned her head and asked Stefanie.

This was crazy, Stefanie's mother was leaned down holding his dick and talking to Stefanie like they were discussing a fucking roast beef or something.

"Yes, it does. It's biggest when I tease him and stuff."

"Men like stimulation, mental is good and visual works well, teasing. But manipulation is another good thing to do." Julie wrapped her hand around Darin's cock and stroked it a few times.

It started to come right up.

Darin quit protesting.

"Come here and try this, honey." Stefanie got up and came over by her mother, reached out and stroked him a few times.

"See? If you squeeze and then release as you fondle it, that really gets them going." She let go of him as Stefanie took over.

Darin giggled, he couldn't help himself.

"I actually like oral the best." He told them. What the hell, he was beginning to enjoy this.

"Yes, many men do because if done right it can feel just like a vagina." Julie said.

"I haven't done that very much, just with Darin so I don't really know how to." Stefanie said.

"Well, honey, what you do is use your lips to cover your teeth because male genitals are very sensitive. Then slide you mouth over the end of it and suck gently while sliding it in and out."

Stefanie opened her mouth, slid it over the end of Darin's cock. He was now at full mast, all seven inches were fully engorged. She clamped down like she always did, causing him to jump.

"You aren't doing that right, honey." Julie said.

"Show me, Mom." She pulled off and slid aside.

Julie reached down and grasped his cock again, looked at it and then up at him.

"My God! Was she going to....?" Then she slid her lips over him, it felt like a soft wet vacuum cleaner. Darin felt his eyes flutter, then he blasted off.

Julie quickly pulled back, several gobs hit her in the face, one plastered her right on the end of her nose. She reached up and wiped it off with the back of her hand.

"Oh, my! He is very fast, isn't he? We will need to work on that." She got up, stripped off the gloves and went over and sat down in the chair.

Darin stood there with his pants down and his cock still sticking out, not sure of what to do. Finally when he realized they were both just sitting there looking at him, he pulled his pants back up.

Now he was completely embarrassed, he sat down. They both just looked at him.