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But she was gone by the time Apollo reached his living room. He saw her crimson form streaking away, high above the city, at a speed he wouldn't be able to match under a setting sun. Glancing aside, Apollo looked to his dining table.
There lay the mask of Mega-Girl, beside it was a platinum ring. Both objects were obsolete and were never to be worn by Mega-Girl again.
- COMMENTS
magikman233about 9 years agoapollo was an arrogant prick...over entitled and slimy through the whole story,sucks jordan died but penny and travis are supposed to be together,at least thats the way it felt for me from the start,wish you'd gotten more detail in on the incest though...but then i am a pervert
kitten_in_heatabout 9 years agoWhile I pout over how wrong things could go in this one chapter.
I for one hope you don't put Mega Girl and Travis back together. He was a bit of a bore until he ended up with Jordan, and now I could care less what happens to him at this point.
As for Jordan, her death was a bit anticlimactic to me tbh. Nevertheless, she was a more engaging character than Travis.
The worst thing was probably the cheating bit. All those chapters spent building up their relationship and it all goes to flames just like that. It's still your own story of course, but I hope you didn't write that just to cater to the Apollo-haters. :/
Anonymousabout 9 years agoI mean, sure, he can be quite annoying but sleeping with Artemis made his character do a complete 180. He was all lovey dovey about forsaking porn and other women for Mega Girl but completely unravels because Artemis kissed him? I understand that Artemis had unresolved feelings for him, but there was no foreshadowing whatsoever that Apollo felt the same way. Grrrr...I didn't find that necessary at all.
Anonymousabout 9 years agoLooks like we're taking a turn into Greek Tragedy here. I guessing things may get a lot worse for our heroine before they get better.
If it gets really dark you might want to put some kind of tone shift warning on the first chapter just to let readers know not to get too comfortable. ;)
