How to Make Turkey Soup...Naked?

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Just turkey. This how to story is just about turkey and how to make turkey soup...Naked?

Be honest. Being that this is Literotica, you wouldn't read my How To story if the word naked wasn't in the title, now would you? Am I right? So, staying true to the title, How to Make Turkey Soup...Naked, whoever makes this soup must prepare it naked.

I'm willing to bet after she's consumed a couple glasses of wine, the woman making this turkey soup will be willing to strip off her clothes. Hey! You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. It's worth a try. At the very least, you'll have some turkey soup to eat. Just in case you get lucky, have your video camera at the ready.

I can already see some of you guys thinking about printing out this story to give to your mothers, your sisters, your mothers-in-law, your aunts, your wives, your girlfriends, your mistresses, and your significant others, as long as they're not another man. I mean, it's okay for two women to cook turkey soup naked but there's something a little creepy about two man cooking turkey soup naked. Not that there's anything wrong with gay men and/or gay men cooking turkey soup, just not naked. I'd just prefer they were fully dressed when making my turkey soup.

"I just found another pubic hair in my turkey soup," said Supreme Chief Justice Clarence Thomas to Anita Hill.

"Blow it out your ass, Clarence," said Anita.

Seriously though, whomever you give this recipe too, a good ploy and a solid pretense to get them naked, tell them that they must be naked when making the turkey soup. Tell them that it's important that they make the soup while naked. Tell them the soup will test better if they're naked. Tell them the soup will be ruined if they do not cook the soup naked. Tell them whatever you need to tell them to get them naked while they cook this soup. Trust me, if they are any kind of cook at all, they'll want to follow the recipe. They're not going to start fiddling with the recipe by not even getting naked.

"Mom! What are you doing?"

"I'm making turkey soup, Jimmy, from SusanJillParker's recipe," said Jimmy's mother.

"No, you must follow SusanJillParker's recipe. Look. See? It says right here that you must be naked to make this turkey soup."

"Oh, okay. Pour me another glass of wine first," said Jimmy's mother guzzling the wine. "Now be a dear and unzip my dress and unhook my bra, my fingers are covered with turkey meat."

Do you see how easy that was? Especially if you're successful in getting one of the women in your life naked, I'm willing to bet this How To Make Turkey Soup...Naked is not only going to make you the best turkey soup but also will be the best story that you've ever read on Literotica.

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Well, folks, it's that time of year again. Every year, I see someone buying a frozen turkey the day before Thanksgiving. Seriously, what are they thinking? Maybe they'll be using it as a doorstop but there's no way that bird will be thawed in time to cook for Thanksgiving.

Now that you've had a wonderful turkey banquet, for those of you who aren't poor and homeless as I once was, it's time to make some turkey soup...naked. Actually, I'm still poor. With me still living in the spare bedroom of a kind, elderly but crazy Mennonite woman, I'm just not homeless. Anyway, it's time to decide what to do with the leftover turkey from the Thanksgiving Day dinner, an age-old problem for every household!

You can play touch football with the carcass in the way you did last year.

"Take a right at the Chevy and then go long and I'll throw you the bird for a touchdown!"

You can mail the carcass to a homeless shelter for them to make turkey soup...naked.

"Why is the cooking staff in the kitchen all naked while making turkey soup?"

You can mail the carcass to a politician who you think deserves the picked turkey award.

"This is for you turkey, signed one of your constituents."

You can put the carcass out on the back lawn and watch the birds go crazy picking the bones while you pick them off with your .22 caliber rifle.

"Hey, Jeb, watch this shot," said Clem.

"I don't want to watch you killing birds, Clem. I'm giving my turkey carcass to Betty Jo to watch her making turkey soup...naked."

Or you can follow my How To recipe and make turkey soup...naked as Clem did with Betty Jo.

"Clem Hatfield! How dare you? Get out of my house! I'm not making you turkey soup, especially without my clothes."

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What's it going to be at your house? Will it be hot turkey sandwiches, turkey salad, turkey casserole, turkey pot pie, munching on plain turkey meat, or ravioli stuffed with turkey meat, you heard it here first.

"Yum."

Yada, yada, yada, you get the drift. The things to do with a turkey carcass are endless, only that man standing in the corner, please put that away and zip your pants. That's just nasty what you want to do with a turkey carcass. What's wrong with you? Get a life. Buy a bagel.

Next year, maybe you'll buy the smaller turkey than that oven stuffer that you bought this year. Now let's talk turkey as this How To story is all about making turkey soup...naked. Before we go any further, be sure that you have plastic or glass storage containers for the extra soup so that you can freeze some. Just as good and as healthy as you're mom's chicken soup, there's nothing like hot, steaming, turkey soup on a snowy, cold winter day.

You'll thank me when you have that awful head cold or flu that you have some nice, hot, turkey soup. Moreover after you download the video to your computer of your naked mother, your naked sister, your naked mother-in-law, your naked aunt, your naked wife, your naked girlfriend, your naked mistress, and/or your naked significant other, after the soup is eaten, you have something to enjoy for years. Who said cooking is laborious and boring? If the woman in your life follows my recipe and gets naked, cooking can be sexually exciting.

"Wow!"

I make turkey soup, actually turkey, noodle soup by adding in the stuffing. Adding stuffing to thicken the turkey soup is my secret recipe ingredient. Instead of adding noodles, you can add rice if you prefer. Personally, I prefer rice to noodles. I like rice. And, sticking with the recipe, I always make my turkey soup naked. The turkey soup doesn't taste the same unless I make it while naked.

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If you're an anal, recipe person and need to measure your ingredients, save yourself the trouble and the aggravation and read no further because I don't list any measured ingredients in my turkey soup recipe.

"Sorry."

Best you make your turkey soup from your Julia Child cookbook, who by the way didn't measure her ingredients either. Nor did the Galloping Gourmet measure his ingredients either. Just as in the movie, A League of Their Own, when Tom Hanks said to one of the female players, Evelyn Gardner played by Bitty Schram, "There's no crying in baseball," I say to all you chefs, "There's no measuring in good cooking."

Much like your auto mechanic does when repairing your car, didn't know that did you? With my cooking done by trial and error, there's no recipe for most of what I cook. I allow my palate and my nose to decide and to dictate if what I'm cooking is good or not and if it needs a dash of this or a pinch of that. I don't measure ingredients unless it's a baked good of some sort.

Baked goods are a whole different category, trust me. Just as your auto mechanics did when charging you extra labor for their unnecessary repairs and screw ups, I found out the hard way through trial and error after making many mistakes. Where cooking is more about experimenting with ingredients and in tasting and smelling, cooking a dish never comes out the same every time you make it. You must be more accurate when baking however or you'll end up with some pretty awful cakes, cookies, and pies.

Let's get on with the task at hand. Hopefully you have stuffing left over. Without stuffing, this soup will not be as yummy. Just as you never considered cooking turkey soup while naked, you never thought about adding stuffing to your turkey soup, did you? Also, don't forget to add some leafy tops from celery stalks to your soup. Without the leafy tops from celery stalks, your soup with not taste as good and look as inviting.

Do you still have the turkey carcass? No? Don't tell me you threw it away? Unless you have an old shoe or a dirty rock laying around, sorry, then cook another turkey or no soup for you this year. Remember the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld?

"No soup for you!"

Use a big pot with a lid, a pot big enough to hold your turkey carcass, and let's make some magic happen. Fill the pot with enough water so that you have the amount of soup you want to eat and some to freeze, plus add extra water as you cook. Water evaporates while cooking soup, so you will not get enough soup if you forget to add some extra water, about 4-6 extra capfuls. Turn the stove on high enough for your soup to boil at first and then down to simmer once everything boils together for about ten minutes.

If you don't have a pot big enough, crush down your turkey carcass enough to fit in the pot. Don't worry about bones as you'll be straining the soup anyway. If your turkey has quite a bit of meat on it, then don't add any extra turkey meat. If you ate your turkey to the bone, then chop up some extra meat and add that near the very end of the soup making.

Chop up the celery leaves, ½ half onion, a couple of carrots, add a little celery, and let that boil for a few minutes. Take one to two cups of stuffing and add that into the pot and see what happens. The consistency of the soup changes immediately and starts to thicken up some. Soup always tastes better if it taste like more than just hot water.

You'd think that would be enough flavor, but it isn't really. Add a couple of bouillon cubes or a couple of cans of chicken broth and see if the color changes to the shade that you want your soup. Everyone feels differently about how their soup should look and taste, so you'll have to be your own chef here and select your perfect color and preferred taste.

Tasting your soup several times during the cooking process will help you to decide on how much broth or bouillon to add. Being that it's soup, you can practically add anything you'd like, whatever you personally enjoy eating in your soup. I know that mass murderer and cannilbilist, Jeffrey Dahmer enjoyed putting in his soup...never mind, that's just gross.

Sneak in a little Worchester sauce, usually a few drops will do. Okay, all you tasters, this would be another time to do your thing and add whatever other flavors you'd like in your soup. Only, do not add salt. Repeat, do not add salt.

With all the items in the pot already, adding salt would not be a good idea. Think of the salt that is in the food already along with the other ingredients that you've added to the pot. Trust me. Keep your hands off the salt shaker and step away from the pot. Soup always needs salt, right? Not this time, cooks. Besides, you can always add some to your soup bowl later.

Put the lid on the soup, but be sure to leave a little crack open so that some of the steam can escape or you'll have a mess to clean up from the soup boiling over onto your stove. Let the boil continue for a few minutes more and then turn the pot down to simmer! Don't forget to stir occasionally as the soup simmers away.

"Boil, boil, toil and trouble!"

After a couple of hours, probably less, I really don't know how long, get your noodles ready or rice if you prefer to add to the pot of excellence. Noodles are a staple in Pennsylvania Dutch country. God knows, there are dozens of different choices of noodles in the grocery stores here. I've never seen such a selection, so where ever you live, just pick a noodle that is pleasing to you and will look cute in the bowl. I really like the wiggly, wavy kind that are medium in length! Make sure you have a strainer handy as the games are about to begin.

Carefully take the pot off the stove, remove the carcass and place it in a separate container. Then strain the soup into another large pot. Put the strained soup back on the stove and bring it to a boil. Beware, you're entering into uncharted territory now. The noodle packages will not have this method of cooking listed in the instructions. I boil the noodles right in the soup, it's unconventional, but adds starch to the soup and makes it richer in taste.

After the noodles are soft, add back pieces of turkey and some of the veggies, as long as you don't mind picking though the strained mess. Be careful not to get any bones into the soup. If your carcass didn't have much meat left on it, now's the time to chop up some leftover turkey and add it to the soup. Now, ready to serve, give it a good stir, and enjoy!

SusanJillParker says that you now have the best turkey soup you ever tasted. Soup is all about love. A lot of love goes into making soup. If you were successful getting your mother, your sister, your mother-in-law, your aunt, your wife, your girlfriend, your mistress, and/or your significant other naked, you'll not only be making soup, you'll be making love too. Good luck.

Happy belated Thanksgiving to all of you!

The End

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