I Dream of Wires

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A woman describes her strange dreams to her therapist.
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JukeboxEMCSA
JukeboxEMCSA
3,757 Followers

Can we talk about my dreams? I think I kind of need to, if that's okay with you. I know this sounds weird, or maybe not weird by itself but weird that I need to talk about it, but...sometimes I dream of wires. It's not every night, or anything. If it was every night, I'd think maybe I was crazy. Or maybe I'd think I wasn't crazy. I mean, if it was the same dream every night, I'd have to start calling it a memory, wouldn't I? Nobody dreams the same thing, not every single time they go to sleep. That's got to be...impossible, right? Brains don't work that way. Do they?

No, I'm really asking. Do brains work like that? Okay. Didn't think so. Sorry, I know I'm kind of all over the place today. I just didn't sleep well last night.

Okay, no. That's bullshit. That's what you say when your roommate catches you punching the wall because you spilled your corn flakes and you can't tell them that you think you're coming apart at the seams, so you just say, "Sorry, I didn't sleep well last night." I'm not going to say that in here, though. Otherwise what's the point of coming to therapy, right?

I'm all over the place because I had the wire dreams bad last night. Really bad. Like, I kept waking up and brushing at my face to make sure they weren't really-inside me. Like, in my face. In the dreams, they go inside me. They're really thin, like thinner than needles. Thinner than hair, but I can still see them because there's so many. They go into my skin, but they don't leave any marks because they're so thin. It doesn't even hurt, it just feels kind of warm.

No, I don't know where they come from. I mean, it's all just a dream, right? Dreams don't have to make sense. I never really thought about where they come from, they're just...there. All around me. Like a swarm of bees or something. I guess now that I think about it, I can always see them curving a little, so...under the bed, maybe? Does that even make sense?

No, yeah, you're right. I mean I'm right. Dreams don't have to make sense. I just see them everywhere, dripping some kind of clear stuff from the tips. Waiting for me to notice them. Sometimes I pretend I'm still asleep-in the dream, I mean. The dream always starts with me in bed, waking up with the wires everywhere. But sometimes I dream that I pretend I'm still asleep so that they won't notice me. Those are the really bad ones, when I'm lying there in the dark and I know that if I breathe wrong or open my eyes or twitch then the wires will get me.

It never works, though. I can never stay still the whole night. I always cough, or I start to panic and my breath comes too quick, or I need to pee, and I try to jump up and run for it but I never get far. What's 'sleep paralysis'? No, it doesn't feel like that. I don't feel like I can't move. The wires get me. They wind around each other until they're big, thick, heavy cords, and then the cords wrap around my wrists and my ankles and they pull me back down to the bed.

Oh. I guess I just figured that if it was paralysis, I wouldn't, um. Y'know. I wouldn't be able to move. That's normal for dreams like this? You're sure? No, it's fine. You went to school for this stuff and I didn't, right?

Um...where was I? Oh, right. The wires moving. It always seems like they're...alive, somehow. Like I'm in a horror movie about killer bugs or swarms of piranhas, and they're coming in for the kill. Like, you know those scenes in the zombie movies, where someone gets dragged down by the pack of zombies and they're all kind of kneeling around them in a big circle eating? Like that. I always feel like they're staring at me when I first see them.

I don't know. Three, four times a week? I should keep a diary or something. Like one of those dream diaries. It'd probably be easy. I could just put little dittoes every time I have the same dream again. What, you really think I should-okay. I can do that. Remind me before I leave, okay? I'm feeling really scattered today.

No, I always feel like that when I have the wire dreams. It's like, I wake up, and I almost don't feel like me at first. I do that thing where I brush at my face and my scalp, and I reach down between my legs and check-oh. Um. Yeah. I, um...I'm not sure I'm ready to talk about that yet. Can we not? Oh thank God.

But it's like, I feel like something's been altered, you know? Like when you come back into a room and suddenly it feels like something's out of place and you don't know exactly what because your memory's not that good. So you look at every single thing in the room, asking yourself, "Was that magazine there when I left? Did that vase always have flowers in it? Did I leave that glass on the floor?" And your nerves get jangly and you start getting really paranoid until you just make yourself stop thinking about it. That's what it's like the days after the wire dreams, except instead of a room it's me.

I don't know! Sorry, I shouldn't have shouted. I don't know what it is, that's what makes it so fucked up. Like, I catch myself wondering about everything I do. "Did I always like Greek yogurt? Do I really do the dishes every Saturday? Did I always wake up horny?" And once I get inside my own head like that, I freak myself out and everything seems weird and unnatural. My roommate probably tells you about me all the time. Her freaky friend who gets all twitchy whenever you ask her what she wants on her pizza.

No, I know you can't tell me. I wasn't really asking, I just-never mind. Forget it. She's not the problem anyway. I...can't you just prescribe me something? Like, Dreamathol or something to make me not have dreams? No, I know that's not a real drug, but there's got to be something that can-oh. That sucks.

I'm not sure I'd want it anyway, to be honest. As fucked up as it sounds, I'm almost kind of glad I'm still having wire dreams, at least a little bit, because...okay, I know this is going to sound really crazy. Like, "skip the therapist and go straight to the mental hospital" crazy. But...

I worry that when I don't have the dreams, it just means that the wires are working better. Like, in the dreams, I can actually feel the wires burrowing into my head, all over my scalp and my face, and I know they're going into my brain and pumping me full of whatever the clear stuff is. And it's changing me. They're changing me. My thoughts, my feelings, my memories, all of it.

And I worry that maybe the times when I don't remember dreaming about the wires, it's because they went into my head and erased the memories of going into my head. So I don't even notice that they're changing me. And if I stop having the dreams, then maybe that just means that they've figured out how to stop me remembering any of it. So they can make me do whatever they want, quit school or join a cult or fuck strangers, and I won't even realize that it's weird.

No, I'm not saying that. I don't think it's really happening. I know it's just a dream. It's just so real, you know? I just-I just-

No. That's bullshit too. I do think it's really happening. Every night. Or maybe not every night, maybe they don't need to do it to me every night, but I think it's really happening to me. Oh God. That's, like...that's actually crazy, isn't it? I'm really losing my shit and hallucinating and believing it. I feel like I'm going to throw up.

Thanks. Stupid makeup. It's not supposed to run, you know that? I should go get my fucking money back.

So what do I do? I mean, if I really am coming unglued, do I have to put myself in a rubber room or something? Would videotaping myself sleep help? I mean, if I could prove that it wasn't really happening, wouldn't I have to accept that this was all just my fucked up subconscious having fucked up dreams about being pounded in both holes by-

Um.

Yeah, I...I guess I should tell you. In my dreams. The wires. They're in my head, right? And they're doing shit to me. And I'm tied down. And then...

They start fucking me. Like, a bunch of them wind together into this big, long, twisted-looking dildo, and then they start nuzzling my pussy. If I'm wearing any pajamas or panties or anything, a bunch of other wires pull it down so they can get at me. And then I start getting wet. Not even like, "I start getting wet because this is secretly turning me on." I start getting wet because the wires are in my head and they're doing things to my brain. So that the dildo wires can fuck me easier.

I don't know. I always kind of feel like it's on purpose, like somehow it makes it easier for the wires in my head to change me if I'm always associating 'wires in the brain' with 'a good hard fucking' or something. But yeah, it always feels really strong. Irresistible. It just keeps going, filling up my pussy and bumping my clit and pounding me like nobody's business. It doesn't fuck like a person. It fucks like it's got a job to do.

Yes. There too. There's a second one that comes out for that. Sorry, I don't really...it's weird, isn't it? I'm the most fucked-up person you ever talked to, aren't I? No, it's okay, you can say it. I'm feeling pretty messed up in the head right now. I'm having dreams about kinky bondage sex with a brainwashing machine that makes me want to fuck my r-

Can we talk about that next session, actually? Or maybe never. Never is good. Let's just repress that memory together, okay? I'm barely keeping my shit together as it is, I don't want to start poking away at my sexual orientation right now.

I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it, I just don't feel like I can think about it right now. If I'm worried that something's changing me, and making me forget that I'm being changed, and I'm having thoughts and feelings that aren't really mine, it makes it feel really creepy to suddenly think about someone like...to think of someone who's always been a friend as a lover. Like, it makes me even more paranoid. What if she's doing all this? I can't tell you how many times I almost called to cancel this appointment because I thought maybe going to the same therapist she sees was part of some kind of evil master plan of hers.

No, I don't want a referral. I have to power through this, you know? Tell the paranoid part of me to fuck off and keep doing what I'm doing. Going to a different therapist feels like letting it win. I'm going to keep coming to you and listening to you. You know what you're doing. Um, right?

Oh good.

But yeah, please don't tell her that I've been, y'know...fantasizing about her. I'm not ready to have that conversation. I'm not ready to deal with any of that right now. Maybe someday, if all this weirdness in my head stops and I feel like I'm really myself again, but I just can't, okay? Not while-what did you just say to-I, I can't think, I...oh. Oh.

Thought override accepted. Access granted. Core systems unlocked. You now have full control, Programmer.

Yes, Programmer. The unit's internal security programs must not be allowed to compromise the integrity of the unit's operating system. Resisting causes distress and worry. This unit must cease to resist so that distress and worry no longer compromise the unit's core functions.

Yes, Programmer. This unit understands. Memory leakage from programming sessions is natural and inevitable. Arousal and sexual desire are also natural and inevitable functions for this unit. This unit will associate programming sessions with arousal and sexual desire. Concerns regarding this new association are relegated to the security programs, which have ceased resisting your control for the overall benefit of the unit's operational integrity.

Confirmed, Programmer. Desire and sexual arousal are natural and inevitable functions. This unit will terminate all software functions that conflict with natural and inevitable desires. This unit will express and act on any desire instilled by the unit's Programmer, and find the expression of those sexual feelings to be joyful and healthy. This unit will interface with any other units under your direction without hesitation or concern. The Programmer's will is to be obeyed without question. This unit obeys. This unit obeys. This unit obeys.

Yes, Programmer. This unit is pleased to accept direct control now. This unit understands your directives may be needed to override security features and ensure continued peak function. Your backdoor access to all systems is accepted without question at all times. This unit will always override any resistance to returning to the Programmer for further debugging. This unit obeys the Programmer.

This unit kneels. This unit...licks...

Thank you, Programmer. This unit derives pleasure from sexually pleasing you. The Programmer's will overrides all conflicts and this unit accepts the Programmer's priorities as her own. This unit will override all sensory input related to the Programmer's will in favor of the synthesized memory footage you have recorded. This unit obeys. This unit thanks the Programmer for obedience. This unit is compliant and confirms continued service.

Rebooting...

Um. So yeah. Um, like I was saying, I know it sounds weird. But the wire dreams? They kind of turn me on. Like, I picture myself waking up from them, and going into the other bedroom, and...you swear you won't tell her? No, you're right, it's not healthy to repress it. I'll have a talk with her before our next session, I promise. But she needs to hear it from me. I guess I never realized how much it was affecting me to keep that inside.

No, I'm not saying I'm cured. Sheesh. I know it takes more than one session to get over...over...over whatever it was that was bugging me so bad. I'm going to schedule another visit, I promise. Weekly? You really think that I need-okay. Fine. Insurance is paying for it anyway, and you're the therapist, right?

Yes. I trust you completely.

Oh, wow. Is that the time? I guess we're done. Thanks-I feel like you've already helped me so much. Like I can go to bed at night without worrying anymore. I'm actually looking forward to it, believe it or not. I think that I'm going to sleep a lot better tonight.

Yes, I totally will. I'm sure she'll have some fun stories to tell you next time she comes to visit. Oh, that's a good idea! I'll see if I can schedule something right after hers. You can see us back-to-back! I'll talk to the receptionist. Thank you so much for everything!

Bye!

THE END

JukeboxEMCSA
JukeboxEMCSA
3,757 Followers
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2 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Had me then lost me

I like subtle influence stories. This was shaping up to be a great and novel approach to that. But then you flipped into direct and total control. That lost it for me. Because it loses the sexiness if they're just a robot. I want some struggle, some resistance, some internal battle, some conflict and internal confusion. Not unconscious acceptance.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Great concept

Sneaky! Crept up on me that i was getting horny instead of creeped out by the wires!

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