I Will Love You Forever Pt. 2 Ch. 15

That explained it Ernie thought and then wondered why it even mattered. Once again he realized that maybe Andrew had a little more influence on him than he realized. It sickened him to admit that in order for that to happen, he had to have believed what Andrew was saying to some small degree. Suddenly, he felt the need to leave. The only things that stopped him were that Joel was watching him and if he left, he would be giving in to fear and prejudice.

He took a deep breath, looked at Kenji and Patricia and smiled. He thought about inviting them to dinner as his mother had suggested, but thought that it might be too much too soon. Instead he would get to know them better.

"Some of us have formed a study group." Kenji said. "You are welcome to join us. We are talking about our schedules now and trying to set up a regular day and time."

"I would like to join if it's alright with the others." Ernie said.

"Of course it is." Kenji replied.

A few minutes later, Maeve and Patricia were alone. Everyone else was discussing the study group.

"What are you doing now that Isadora is gone?" Patricia asked.

"Nothing much." She replied. "I'm trying read ahead for the next semester."

"Me too." Patricia said. "I'm also going to be taking three classes which is a new thing for me."

"You'll do fine." Maeve said with a smile. "So what do you know about your new friend?" She asked changing the subject.

"He's in Kenji and Joel's class but behind them because he wasn't in the accelerated program." Patricia replied. "He was a part of that group that was after us..."

"What?!" Maeve interrupted.

"Let me finish." Patricia said. "I said was. He left the group before Andrew Kelly went off the deep end."

"What made him leave?" Maeve asked. "People don't just walk away from something like that."

"I don't know." Patricia said. "He came to us after Milton Vaughn's funeral and apologized to us."

"You didn't ask him why?" Maeve asked.

"He said that he realized that he was wrong and that was the end of it." Patricia replied.

"There's more to it." Maeve replied.

"Well, he was the one who broke Joel's hand." Patricia said. "I know that he and Joel have talked about it."

"No wonder he's so uncomfortable." Maeve murmured. "Do you think that he meant it? The apology I mean?"

"He's here isn't he?" Patricia asked. "It couldn't have been easy for him to apologize and talk to Joel. He's even sitting with them in class and now he's here. I'm not stupid enough to believe that he didn't believe any of what he said, but Maeve what's important is that he admitted what he did and he's here."

"You know," Maeve said after a moment. "You and Kenji are as much an enigma to me as Isadora is. I mean she has tunnel vision as far as what she wants. I'm not saying that it's a bad thing, but all she does is study. And then there's you. I heard about women of grace, but you are so beyond that. I don't think that I could have the attitude that you and Kenji do."

"Kenji and I have been through so much." Patricia replied. "It's a long story, but we've almost lost each other three times now. When you stop and look at the big picture, you realize that anger and hatred are such wasted emotions. I won't tell you that we weren't angry or that we didn't come close to hating- at least I did, but in the end; it changes nothing."

"He went to the camps didn't he?" Maeve asked softly.

"Yes." Patricia replied. "That was one of the times that I hated. I was pregnant with Ralph and I was scared. We had already been through so much and then..."

Patricia stopped talking and wiped at her eyes.

"I'm sorry." Maeve said taking her hand in hers. "I didn't mean to upset you."

"You didn't." Patricia assured her. "It's still a very painful memory and I think that it always will be, but on the bright side; Kenji and I are together. We have two beautiful children and we're on our way to meeting our goals."

"You give me faith that true love really exist." Maeve said. "My parents are happy I guess, but they don't look at each other the way that you and Kenji look at each other. Even if I didn't know you, I would be able to tell that he loves you and you him. I only hope to be so lucky."

"Why were you asking about Ernie?" Patricia asked.

"I don't know," Maeve said with a grin. "He's kind of cute."

She then turned serious.

"But, he was a part of that group. He hurt Joel." She added.

"True," Patricia conceded, "but it has to count for something that he's no longer a part of that no matter how it happened. I think that if you're interested that you should talk to him."

Kenji watched Patricia as she and Maeve talked. He was briefly concerned when he saw her wipe her eyes. He relaxed again when he saw her smile. He turned his attention back to the discussion about the study group. As of yet Ernie hadn't said anything. Kenji wondered if he was waiting for an invitation to speak.

"Ernie," Kenji said. "You are a part of this so please if you have any suggestions or if the times discussed are not good for you; say something."

"I... it all sounds good." Ernie said. "I'm sure that it would be ok to come to my house when it's my turn."

Joel looked at Ernie, but made no comment. He still wasn't ready to believe that Ernie had really changed.

The party ended around eleven. Penny and Maeve took care of the dishes while Kenji, Joel and Ernie put away the table and chairs and took care of the trash. Ernie and Joel didn't talk, but Kenji and Ernie did.

"This must have been difficult for you." He said as they carried a table into the garage.

"Did it show?" Ernie asked.

"A little." Kenji replied with a small smile.

"I keep trying to tell myself that I didn't believe any of what Andrew told me." Ernie said. "I've been realizing that to some degree that I did. It wasn't anything that my parents taught me. In fact, when they found out about my involvement with Andrew, they were horrified and ashamed. I don't know where the attitude came from and it doesn't matter. It was wrong then and it's wrong now."

"Self-realization can be a difficult thing." Kenji replied. "I learned a few things about myself as well."

"Like what if I may ask?" Ernie replied.

"I learned that I am as capable of hate as anyone." Kenji replied. "There was a time when I would have denied that. I also learned that I am capable of killing. If you, Andrew or any of your group had harmed any in my family; I would have killed you."

The words though softly spoken sent a chill through Ernie.

"My family is everything to me." Kenji continued and then said no more.

Ernie recognized a threat when he heard one. Kenji while extending to him the hand of friendship was also warning him.

"Kenji, I swear to you that I won't ever do anything to harm you or your family. I've learned my lesson and if there was any way that I could change what happened; I would."

Kenji nodded and considered the topic closed. It was well after midnight before Kenji and Patricia were alone.

"What were you and Ernie talking about?" Patricia asked as they got ready for bed.

"It was difficult for him to be here." Kenji replied. "He is learning a few uncomfortable things about himself. Kirei, why were you crying when you were talking to Maeve?"

"You saw that?" Patricia asked.

"Yes, now tell me why you were crying." Kenji replied.

"We were talking about Isadora and then us. She hopes to be as lucky as we are." Patricia replied.

"Is that what made you cry?" Kenji asked gently.

"No." She replied after a brief hesitation. "She asked me if you went to the camps. No matter how long ago that was, it still feels as if it just happened. Even just thinking about it makes my heart hurt. If I close my eyes I can still see that bus pulling away."

"Kirei that was a traumatic time for all of us." Kenji said. "I still think about those times too and when I do, those are the times that I hold you a little tighter and kiss you more often."

"Like now?" Patricia asked.

"Like now." Kenji confirmed. "The thing to remember is that we survivied and we are where we need to be. The other thing is this; you must talk to me when you're frightened. Whether you should or shouldn't still be afraid is immaterial. The fact is that you are afraid. Kirei, are you afraid now?"

"Yes but ..."

"Why haven't you said anything?" Kenji asked.

"Because the last thing you need is my insecurities." Patricia replied. "And it isn't all of the time. When it happens, it's usually unexpected it's because I see or hear something that triggers it. What about you? What makes you think about it?" Patricia asked as she wrapped her arms around him.

"Before I answer that," Kenji replied hugging her back, "I think that you need to be reminded that we've made it this far because we have never kept anything from each other. Just as I should have talked to you, you should have talked to me. Our lives are only going to get busier and it will be easy for us to put off talking to each other. It's going to be even more important that we stay connected."

"I agree, but you didn't answer the rest of my question." Patricia said.

"Sometimes it happens when I'm sitting in class and my mind wanders." Kenji replied. "I begin to miss you and almost always those months of being without you come to mind. That is why when I finally see you, I am so relieved and I have to touch you."

"We're never going to get over that are we?" Patricia asked.

"I would say no." Kenji replied as he edged her back toward the bed. "That experience is part of who we are." He added as he kissed her. "I love you Kirei."

"I love you too." Patricia replied his face and then tangling her hands in his hair.

"Are you ready for me?" Kenji asked as he positioned himself between her open legs.

Patricia gave a barely imperceptible nod and sighed as Kenji slowly slid into her looking into her eyes as she did so. She lay still letting him have his moment before moving against him. Afterwards, instead of talking as they usually did, they held each other tightly and fell asleep.

***

Hana looked at her wedding kimono and smiled. She was remembering her wedding to Hiroshi. She had thought that she was happy then and she supposed that she was, but it was nothing like how she was feeling at that moment. With Hiroshi it was more nerves than happiness she realized. With Nick, it was all happiness with a little nervousness. The smile vanished when she remembered the conversation that Nick had with his family a couple of weeks before. They were adamant in their opposition to their upcoming marriage. She could only imagine what they were saying because Nick's back was stiff and the muscles in his jaw were working like they did when he was angry. Then she heard the anger in his voice.

"I didn't call to ask your permission." He said. "I called out of respect and to inform you. The wedding is January first if you choose to come. But let me warn you, if you can't come and be civil, then stay home."

Nick hung up after giving them the particulars of the ceremony. Hana hugged him not knowing what to say and feeling guilty as she remembered some of the things that she had said to Kenji about Patricia. She was now on the receiving end and now had a new appreciation for what Kenji and Patricia must have felt.

"I am so sorry." She whispered hugging him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for." Nick said kissing her. "It's their problem not ours."

Hana stood up, touched the almost finished Kimono and decided that she wanted and needed to ask Patricia and Kenji once again for forgiveness. She looked at the clock and realized that the party at their house was still going on. She made plans to call them soon and to make her apologies.

She called them the next morning even before she made Nick's coffee. Her guilt at the way she had treated them had kept her awake. When she called, Kenji answered the phone.

"Mother? Is everything alright?" He asked.

"It's fine." Hana replied. "I just wanted to apologize to you and Patricia."

"Why?" Kenji asked.

"Is Patricia nearby?" Hana asked.

"She is in the kitchen." Kenji replied. "Mother are you certain that nothing is wrong?"

"I'm fine; may we come to see you after breakfast?" Hana asked.

"We are picking up the children after lunch so we will be here." Kenji replied curious as to the reason for the apology.

"We will be there soon." Hana replied and hung up.

"Who was that?" Patricia asked.

"Mother." Kenji replied. "She and Nick are coming over after breakfast. She says that she wants to apologize for something."

"Did she say what?' Patricia asked frowning as she tried to think of why Hana would owe them an apology.

"No." Kenji replied as he took her hand and led her to the kitchen table. "Sit and I will bring you breakfast."

An hour later, Nick and Hana were sitting in the living room holding hands. Kenji and Patricia looked at each other and then at them.

"I know that you are wondering why I want to apologize." Hana said. "It's something that I've apologized about before, but until recently; I didn't realize... I didn't realize how disrespectful and how horribly I treated you until Nick spoke to his family about our wedding. Patricia, I cannot tell you how much I regret my part in what almost happened to you and for my treatment of you afterwards. I made an already difficult situation even more difficult.

I have said this before and I will say it again. You are one of the strongest and most graceful people that I know. I have learned much from you and I hope to have just a little of your grace when I meet Nick's family for the first time. Kenjiro, when Nick was talking to his family I was reminded of you when you finally told us about Patricia. I heard the same firmness and resolution in his voice that I heard in yours. I also apologize to you for not accepting Patricia from the beginning and for allowing your father and Joben to do what they did. I humbly ask that you both forgive me."

"Hana," Patricia said after a moment, "that's past history. You've been forgiven. I understood that you were caught between a rock and a hard place. So please, stop feeling guilty about it."

"I agree." Kenji replied. "But I must confess that I was hurt and angry by what happened. It is time to move forward and to let go of the guilt. I am sorry that Nick's family is having a difficult time, but they could learn to love and accept you as you have learned to love and accept Patricia."

Nick stroke Hana's knuckles as he listened to the conversation. He wanted to believe what Kenji said, but he knew better. If his family came, it would only be to cause trouble. He was now regretting inviting them to the wedding, but it was too late to take it back. He could only hope that they didn't show up. Even as he thought it, he knew that they would.

After the apologies were over, Hana and Patricia discussed the ceremony while Nick and Kenji talked about Andrew Kelly.

"He's never getting out." Nick said. "And as far as we know, the group is all but disbanded. You still need to be careful."

"I understand... Nick, you are expecting your family to cause trouble at the wedding aren't you?" Kenji asked.

"Unfortunately yes." Nick replied. "I'm hoping that they won't make the trip." He added with a tight smile.

The conversation turned to general things until it was time to pick up the children from John and Hattie's house.

"I have an idea." Nick said. "Why don't Hana and I pick them up and take them home with us? It's been a while since we've kept them and you two could have another night alone."

Kenji was tempted, but he missed them.

"Let me discuss it with Patricia." He finally said.

Thirty minutes later, Nick and Hana were on their way to John and Hattie's with a change of clothes for the children. Patricia called ahead to let them know about the change in plan. The telephone had been a gift for John and Hattie's anniversary from all of them. It had taken them a while to get used to the phone, but now they loved it.

"So Kirei," Kenji said nuzzling her ear, "what would you like to do today?"

Patricia thought for a minute.

"I would like to do something that we haven't done in a long time." She replied.

"And what would that be?" Kenji asked.

"I would like to go back upstairs, get back into bed and stay there until.... After lunch." She replied.

She knew by the bulge in Kenji's pants that he was in full agreement with her.

"Let's go." She said pulling on his hand.

****

Saul woke up late the next morning. He cried out in pain when he tried to get out of bed.

"What the hell?" he mumbled through swollen lips.

"Hold on a minute." Joshua said. "Let me help you."

"What happened?" Saul asked and then he remembered the beating.

It was slow going, but finally Saul was in the bathroom. He steadied himself by bracing himself against the wall and urinated. The pain was temporarily forgotten as he felt the relief of emptying his bladdder. On his way out, he stopped to look at his reflection in the mirror. He was shocked and appalled at his appearance. His face was still swollen and bruised, his eyes so swollen that that his pupils appeared to be nothing more than a sliver of brown.

With a start he realized that he didn't know what day it was and if he was supposed to be at work.

"What day is this?" He mumbled.

"Monday." Joshua replied.

"Work." Saul mumbled. "I have to go..."

"You're not going anywhere." Joshua said sternly. "I already talked to your boss."

"He believed you?" Saul asked.

"Not at first, but then he came by to see you." Joshua replied. "Your job is safe."

"Dewey... I have to go back." Saul said.

"Not today you aren't." Joshua said as he helped Saul back to bed.

Saul fell back to sleep only waking when he heard Cora calling his name.

"I made some broth." Cora said as she sat on the side of the bed.

"My uniform... is it..."

"I managed to get the blood out of it and I mended it." Cora replied. "Now hush and take some of this broth."

Saul found that he was hungry and ate a second bowl of the broth this time feeding himself. By the end of the second bowl, he felt better; but was still in considerable pain. After eating, he began to force himself to move from the bed refusing any help. He had Joshua read his vocabulary words to him until he couldn't concentrate any longer.

The next time he woke up, it was close to dawn. Through the slits in his eyes, he could see his mended uniform hanging. He lay in bed for another thirty minutes before he got up, used the bathroom and dressed for work. As quietly as he could, he slipped out of the front door and began to walk to work.

Progress was slow, but an hour and a half later; Saul was at the train station. No one noticed him at first, but when they did; all activity stopped.

"I'll be damned." Someone said in a voice that held respect.

"What?" Harry asked.

"Look over there." Someone else said. "It's your white buddy."

"What?" Harry asked thinking that there had to be some mistake.

He turned around to see Saul slowly making his way toward them.

"Crazy assed white boy." He murmured under his breath as he ran out to meet him part way.

"What y'all starin' at?" Dewey demanded when he came out.

As soon as he saw the reason for the stares, his anger rose. He stomped out toward Saul and Harry stopping less than a foot away from them.

"What did I tell you?" He demanded. "I told you that if you came back that I would kill you."

"You did mention that." Saul said.

"Why you here then?" Dewey demanded.

"I work here." Saul replied and took a step toward Dewey. "And I'm not quitting because you whipped my ass. I'm as entitled to work here as you are now get out of my way."

Dewey stood where he was and raised his fist.