In the Begining

That's when 'the talk' came. Was he really comfortable and even OK with me dating, possibly fucking another man, was I? This was new territory, It meant being alright with becoming a swinger. God was I alright with applying that label to myself? An interracial swinger! I loved the idea in my head, in my own fantasy. I even loved living vicariously through these women's pictures and videos online, but to actually do it myself, that was a different thing completely. I suppose I knew right then though that I was going to be fine with going through with it, it was only two problems in my own head.

First, the stereotype and the label. I was raised Christian, in believing that sleeping with men other than your husband was absolutely wrong no matter what. Now a grown woman, I knew better than all that. I think that I truly knew this wasn't cheating in the true sense. I wasn't hurting the man I loved, my husband wasn't being deceived. He was beside me and supporting me in exploring my sexuality, after all it was all his idea in the first place. I could shed the moral and religious tone to convince myself this wasn't a sin. I hadn't been practicing any religious or strict moral code in a long time in my life anyway. And then there was the whole how society would look at me if they knew of how I lived my sex life. Ridding myself of that thought was a bit tougher. It wasn't as if I planned to broadcast it to the whole world, but if friends and family were to find out if would be embarrassing to us and hurtful to them. But we talked through that that night, hubby explained the idea was to be careful in exposing ourselves. To practice a little secrecy and caution would help alleviate that fear, it would be all the more wise anyway.

Second, on my list of concerns, was how this would affect my marriage. Yes my husband was leading my hand into this, but was he really ready for his wife to be with another man? I had to have him explain to me that our relationship wouldn't be damaged by any of this. We agreed to keep an open line of communication about how we were feeling at all times. We are so in love with one another, we are indefinitely life partners. Both of us were already happy with our sex lives, this was just adding icing to the cake. We have a good life with one another, a strong marriage already, I did believe that we had a great foundation to start into this new lifestyle. Hubby added he just wanted to see me happy above all, and he knew that pushing the comfortable limits of my sexuality was making me very happy.

So we e-mailed the gentleman back my husband had spoken with and asked for a date. As per my good advice from other wives I had spoken with online, I also asked for a few references from him and if he had a current STD test. After some back and forth on exchanging more pictures and information, we settled on getting together during the next weekend at a popular bar in downtown LA. That seemed like a good first date, somewhere in public where I could leave if it didn't seem right to me. But to my pleasure, everything went VERY well. So great in fact I could only describe the evening in one word, "intense". That story is coming soon.