It's Complicated

Chad had not entered the Army blindly. He had the test scores to request some things and when he left boot camp he was well positioned. He attended both Ranger school and officer candidate school making Chad a Lieutenant in the elite Rangers in time to fight in Iraq. In the meanwhile, Chad had met Jeanine. They got married and had a daughter together before his deployment. Jeanine could not handle Chad's constant absence and while he was off fighting in the desert sand she found love elsewhere. They were divorced before he ever came home from the war.

After two tours in that hot hellhole Chad had enough. He'd toiled for a pittance in Army money for years while watching civilian contractors doing safer and easier jobs than him for piles of cash. Chad was discharged and followed the revolving door back to war, this time getting paid for the misery as a private security guard for journalists in Afghanistan. "So you're a mercenary?" I asked him.

"We prefer the term contractor" he said. "But yeah, I was a mercenary. I'm not anymore." Chad studied the water and changed the subject. "I like the ocean. It's peaceful here." Chad had come to Hawaii to relax after his wars. He had amassed a lot of money and was living off it while taking some time to decide what to do next.

I could feel how he had been hurt by Jeanine and my heart ached for him. I wound up sharing Ben and my own troubles with fertility. Chad was sympathetic. "This week would be a good one for us to conceive." I told Chad. "Maybe Hawaii will lend us some magic."

That night, Ben was in the mood for sex. When I joined him in bed in the condo he started kissing me. Before long, he slid down my body to lick my inner thighs. I pulled my legs up as he began to roam his tongue around my outer lips. After a while, he turned his focus to my clitoris. When he started to probe my opening with a finger, I let my fantasy world start running.

For the past year, my 'go to' fantasy had been that a stranger was watching us as Ben licked my pussy. I'd imagine this shadowy figure sitting in a corner of the room watching us as Ben brought me slowly but steadily to orgasm. Inevitably, the shadow figure would watch me climax on Ben's face.

I followed the established pattern tonight and sighed once Ben's finger finally penetrated my vagina. That was when the pattern changed. As I felt Ben slip a finger inside me, I mentally glanced back at the shadow figure. He looked familiar. I looked harder into the dark corner of the room. It was Chad.

The Chad of my sexual fantasy that night was not the boy I had fucked in high school. This was the Chad of the present; full grown and a veteran of both war and the vagaries of life. He looked on motionless as Ben was stimulating me. Shockingly I felt guilty, but not because fantasizing about Chad was an infidelity against Ben. No, I felt guilty that I was letting Ben have me while Chad was only looking on. It was as if I was cheating on Chad with Ben. I came faster than I think I ever have before.

"I'm coming." I gasped as my vagina grasped Ben's fingers tightly. My release pounded through me. When I stopped coming I wanted to be fucked, and fucked hard. I pulled Ben up between my legs.

His cock slipped into my wet pussy. In moments he was thrusting deeply into me. In the past, my fantasy of the strange watcher has only been while Ben had been licking me. Tonight, disturbingly, it went way past that. Now it was Chad, back to fuck me again as he had in high school. The shadow figure in the corner was gone. Now he was between my thighs sliding his hardness into me over and over. I shuddered through a series of small orgasms.

I rolled Ben over to be on top. He slipped back inside, but in my head it was Chad that was filling my pussy. I rocked my hips forward and back endlessly, rubbing my clit on his pubic bone to come again and again. Finally Ben stiffened beneath me. He groaned with his release as he jabbed his hips upwards to ejaculate into me. Most shockingly, in my head it was Chad that was inseminating me. I almost called out his name as I welcomed his seed into my fertile womb.

I awoke in the morning feeling groggy and out of sorts as if I had not slept soundly. I felt a rush of guilt as I recalled my emotions of the previous night. "Get a hold of yourself, Susan" I thought. It wasn't like I had done anything wrong. I'd just had a harmless fantasy, and a good one at that. I'd certainly come hard.

After breakfast Ben and I walked the beach holding hands. It was a beautiful morning. Later we relaxed on lounge chairs and we were joined by Jennifer. Ben had buried his nose in a novel so she and I traded a few lawyer jokes at his expense. Occasionally we could elicit a grunt from him with a particularly barbed one. By noon we said goodbye to Jennifer and went out to lunch in town.

After lunch we headed back down to the shore. Chad came strolling up the beach from the direction opposite the major resorts. He sat next to Ben and began describing the area off that way in detail. Meanwhile I was laid back in my chair pretending to doze. In reality I was watching Chad.

Despite being fucked extremely well the previous night, I was still very horny. I figured I must be just about to ovulate, if not today than certainly tomorrow. As I sat there, my pussy was practically flowing wetness into the crotch of my bikini. My inner lips were engorged from my arousal and I shifted my legs uncomfortably. With a start I suddenly realized that Ben was speaking to me. I had been lost in my erotic thoughts and I had not heard a word that he had said.

"What was that honey?" I asked him.

"Chad offered to take us down the beach and explore the cove over there." He pointed vaguely. "He said there is a waterfall and a pool that makes for some interesting snorkeling. What do you think?"

I considered for a few moments. "Why don't you two boys run along. I want to do some shopping in town, so maybe I'll look up Jennifer and head out with her instead."

Ben nodded in agreement. He hates shopping, especially for the kind of stuff he knew I'd want to look at. The two men collected some snorkeling gear and changed into reasonable shoes for climbing around in the rocks. When they left I walked back to our condo. I called Jennifer's room number and we made plans to go shopping in a half hour. I peeled off my bikini to change into a dress. Before dressing I needed to do something. Naked, I lay back on the bed and started to finger myself.

My pussy was absolutely soaking wet. As I dipped in a finger, I spread my own wetness all around my lips. It felt so slick and delicious that a shudder passed down my spine. I closed my eyes and moaned softly. Once again, Chad was in the room watching me. He stared at my naked body with lust as my fingers slid around and around my swollen clitoris. I wanted him to come and take me.

Chad advanced towards me holding his rigid cock before him. He got closer and closer to my waiting body. As he touched the head of his cock to my opening I came hard. "Uhhhhnnnn!" I moaned in release, feeling my own vaginal muscles gripping my fingers in a vice-like grasp. When my climax passed, I sat up and looked at the clock. Only a handful of minutes had passed since I had started masturbating . I was so horny that it had taken me no time to bring myself to completion. My guilt at fantasizing about Chad again surfaced again in my mind, but I brushed it away as I pulled on a pair of panties and a sundress. Then I slipped on a pair of sandals and I was ready to go.

Jennifer and I had a lot of fun shopping in town. I bought some cute dresses and some seashell jewelry. Jennifer got herself a ring in the shape of a jumping dolphin. Eventually my feet were starting to hurt and I realized it was getting late. "I could really use a drink tonight." Jennifer said. "Do you think Ben would like to get together at the bar for a few rounds?" I was reasonably confident Ben would like to go out, so I told her I'd meet her at the bar later. We set a time and I went to our place.

When I got back to our condo, there was no sign of Ben. It seemed like an awfully long time to be off hiking. I started to think of the shear cliffs and rugged looking jungle areas of the island and I felt a little worry. I started to concoct terrible scenarios of him slipping at the head of a waterfall and falling to his death. In my terrifying daydream I pictured Ben slipping and Chad reaching for him wildly. Their fingers just missed each other and then Chad was watching in horror as Ben fell down and down. I walked down to the beach to look for them.

I looked off in the direction that Chad and Ben had gone. To my relief, two small figures were approaching from far off. I waited for Ben and Chad and felt the warm breeze off the water blowing in my hair. I watched the sun heading down to meet the ocean as the sky shaded into intense oranges and pinks. When they got closer Ben smiled and waved. I waved back at him.

"How was it?" I asked when they got within earshot.

"Awesome!" exclaimed Ben. He and Chad shared a look, grinning at each other. Clearly they'd had a lot of fun scrambling around the rocks and snorkeling together. Ben grabbed my hand. He waved goodbye to Chad and together we walked back to our condo.

When we were alone Ben provided a little more detail. "That was a lot of fun, but your old friend nearly walked me into the ground out there. Did you know he was some kind of Special Forces guy?" Ben didn't wait for a response, but just prattled on about his afternoon. He told me that he'd taken a lot of great pictures on our camera and showed me a few on the LCD. "Unlike Chad, I didn't spend the last two years hiking the mountains of Afghanistan. I'm totally whipped." He explained. "I think I want to have dinner and then go to bed early."

I told Ben that I had promised Jennifer that we'd meet her in the bar. I asked him if he minded if I went out with her alone while he went to bed. "That's fine with me honey. I'm sorry to bail out on you tonight but I'm just exhausted from this afternoon." He said.

We had a wonderful dinner together at a seafood restaurant in the town. I could see over dinner that Ben was practically falling asleep. I think the jetlag was teaming up with the exertion to wipe him out. I dropped him off at our place and gave him a good night kiss before I left for the bar. "I'm glad you had fun today honey." I told him. "Now get some sleep."

When I got to the bar around ten, Jennifer was already there drinking an enormous colorful drink festooned with fruit and an umbrella. "These are great!" she told me. I saw the waitress approaching and looking at me.

"I'll take whatever the heck that is." I told the waitress, and she walked off towards the bar. It was a shame that Jennifer lived way off in Dayton really, as she and I were becoming friends quite quickly. I told her she should move to Chicago. I had a couple of the big fruity drinks as we swapped tales and laughed together. As I drained my second cocktail I checked my watch and I was shocked to discover that it was after midnight. Jennifer asked me if I wanted to get a third round.

"Oh, it's getting late." I told her. "I really should get to bed."

"Alright." she allowed. "I'll let you off easy this time."

We settled our bill and I gave her a quick hug before we parted. "Good luck!" she called to me as I walked into the tropical night heading back towards our condo. What a strange thing to call out to me I thought.

On the way back to my sleeping husband I walked past Chad's condo. At the end of the little path leading up to his door I paused. I looked at the little hut on the edge of the beach. A light was burning softly in one room. I licked my lips nervously.

I had up to this moment been in complete denial. Behind the scenes my brain had been working feverishly ever since I had first recognized Chad on the beach. Everything at this moment became clear; the intense awareness of my monthly cycle, the sudden out of control horniness, the vivid and naughty fantasies. I knew what I wanted, and my feet suddenly started forward carrying me towards the door.

I could rationalize anything to myself at that moment. Without a baby, Ben and I were doomed as a couple. We seemed solidly together now, but an unsolvable crisis loomed in our near future. Chad was my long lost love and my feelings for him had never died. This whole coincidental meeting then, could it not be fate? Could this horrible wrong not be in fact right?

The truth however as I reached out to knock on the door was that I was not acting on my rationalizations. I wanted Chad to take me completely and utterly. I wanted him to make me his woman for at least a little while. I wanted him to fill my body and I wanted to call his name in the dark as he gave me a baby.

The door opened and Chad stared at me in the near darkness. He was wearing nothing but a pair of shorts in the warm Hawaiian night. The silence hung in the air but a lot passed between us unsaid. "I'm sorry." He finally said. "I'm sorry for everything."

I pressed my finger to his lips. "Don't speak." I whispered.

Chad pulled me into his strong arms and kissed me as he hadn't kissed me since that terrible November day in his driveway years before. He held me for a long time while my passion burned hotter and hotter. Finally he pulled back to look at me. "Are you sure?" he whispered.

In answer, I tugged the shoulder straps of my dress and felt the small knots come apart. The dress fell to the floor with a quiet rustle. I had no bra restraining my pert B-sized breasts and they gleamed milky white in the pale light of the moon. My nipples were hard like pebbles. I hooked my fingers under the elastic of my panties and tugged them past my hips. They fell to join the dress at my feet. I slowly slid my hands back up my thighs over the gentle swell of my feminine hips to rest on my narrow waist. Chad's eyes moved lower until they found the dark triangle of trimmed hair that pointed like an arrow at my waiting cleft.

Naked, I moved into Chad's embrace. I was so inflamed that I could feel my wetness starting to run down the inside of my thigh. I ran my fingers lightly over his muscular chest, feeling his strength. Finally, Chad gathered me up and carried me to his bed.

He lay me down and then took just a moment to drop his shorts and step from them. He stood between my legs then and I felt his hardness touch against my opening. His strong hands gripped my hips, prepared to pull my body against his. We had progressed from that first kiss to lying naked and ready on the bed very quickly. But what we were about to do was no small thing. I think the enormity of my infidelity lay suddenly before us. Chad paused on the brink of impaling me with his cock as we both took stock. We stared into each other's eyes for a long time. I slowly closed mine, waiting for him to take me. My passivity invited him to do what he would.

Then I felt his thick shaft suddenly spread my pussy wide open. I was so wet and aroused that I offered him no resistance. He slid all the way in, stretching me full. "Oh Chad!" I whispered once more, just as I had when he had first entered my virgin body so long ago.

Chad pumped into me with very long strokes. Each time he would slide back until the head of his cock just slipped from my vagina. Then he would slide it back in, spreading me open for his penetration each time. At the end he would hold me briefly, letting me feel his size as he pressed his balls against my ass and his cock probed against my cervix. I felt wonderfully full at the end of each stroke. When he withdrew, I felt so empty inside that I longed to feel him filling me again. Each time he penetrated me anew I gasped with the sheer pleasure of it.

In a short while, my gasps turned to groans. Chad fucked me without pause then, and I soon came hard on his cock. "Unnnnh! I'm coming. I'm coming." I moaned. I felt a spasm deep in my pelvis as I gripped Chad deep inside my body. After I climaxed, he lay back on the bed beside me. I crawled on top of him and grasped his thick cock. It was warm and perfectly solid in my hand. I felt my own wetness smeared all over him and I could see a drop of pre-cum formed at the glans. I pointed it straight at my pussy. Then I lowered myself down his entire length until I rested atop his hips.

I rocked my hips forward and back then, feeling Chad's cock as I rode it deep inside my pussy. The tip of him rocked forward and back inside me, stretching me and pummling my cervix. My clit and lips were rubbing directly on Chad's hard pubic bone and the friction was exquisite. I came repeatedly on top of his body, smiling down at his face after each climax.

He was dimly visible in the moonlight from the window. I saw him watching me as I fucked myself deeply on his cock and moaned with my passion. After untold orgasms I was tiring. I raised myself up and off of him and lay down by his side. "I want you to come." I whispered to him as he positioned himself between my legs. Chad entered me once more in the missionary position, this time to finish the act.

I hugged him close as I lay back. My legs were splayed wide, my unprotected pussy open and inviting him to fuck me deeply and fill me with his load. I rubbed my bare feet against the back of his legs as his hips bucked against my mound and his hard cock slid in and out of me. He was breathing hard now and I knew he was getting close. "I want your cum Chad. Fill me up. Fill me with your cum." I told him.

Chad made a sudden, choking noise as he reached the point of no return. He pressed his hips hard into my mound and drove his cock as deeply into me as he could, preparing to inseminate me with his potent seed. Time seemed to stretch out then, and an eternity passed before I suddenly felt a powerful throb deep inside me. Chad's first pulse of semen splashed against my cervix and I gasped with pleasure. He groaned with his own release, and his cock spasmed over and over, pumping jet after jet of thick cum deep into me. I pictured him filling me deep inside, impregnating my waiting womb with hundreds of millions of sperm. Feeling him come inside me and knowing he was impregnating me was the most erotic thing I have ever experienced.

His cock gave a last few erratic twitches deep in me and finally he was spent. He pulled his wet, softening member out of my body lay down next to me. His cock trailed a thin line of cum on my mound as he pulled out. We held each other for a long time. I could feel the sweat on my skin, cooling me after our mutual exertion. I could smell the slight tang of my own arousal and the faint scent of his semen. Inside my pelvis, millions of sperm were flooding my uterus. At the same time, one ovary was releasing my egg to meet them.

I had no sense of time. I held him for as long as I could, but ultimately I knew I had to leave. "I have to go now." I told him softly.

"I know." He replied in the dark. "I hope I could give you what you wanted."

"I hope so too." I thought for a minute. "I'll always love you."

I dressed quietly in the dark Chad watched me with sad eyes as I let myself out. As I walked across the moonlit sand to reach our condo I felt Chad's semen flowing from my body and flooding my panties. He had inseminated me with a massive load and as I walked it started to run down my thigh. Normally I'd simply wipe myself up as soon as possible and think nothing of it, but tonight I thought of what my ruined panties represented and I was both scared and excited.

That started to change when I reached my own door. I could rationalize my action as a desperate bid to get a baby and ultimately save my marriage. But deep inside I could not deny that I also knew that what I had done was fundamentally wrong. Perhaps I had saved us, but I had also betrayed Ben in the worst way I could.