Jelly Bean Theif

"He probably did," Sophia let another laugh escape. "No, no, what's so funny is He and his parents think that Alida's just this stupid little girl but obviously, she's a lot smarter than they think she is."

At the Security Storage site, Ryan wondered why so many women seemed to find tattoos attractive. The girl that sat in front of him wore a tank top and her arms and chest were adorned with dragons.

He tried to mentally shut his eyes against the unsightly tattoos and tried to gauge the girl based on her application alone. She misspelled 'school' in the Education field and misspelled 'restaurant' in the Employment fields.

"So how are you on computers?" Ryan asked.

"Oh I love playing on them!" the girl smiled happily, showing a mouthful of horrible teeth.

"Excel? Word?" Ryan prompted.

"No, I wouldn't say I excel at it, but I'm pretty good," the girl said.

"Thank you, ma'am; I'll keep this on file," Ryan sighed.

The girl got to her feet and grabbed her helmet.

"Wow, you actually do work every now and then, huh?" Alida asked, coming into the small office.

"Every now and then; thought you had that counseling session?" Ryan said, getting to his feet.

"Got cut short," Alida giggled, pushing him back into his seat and climbing into his lap.

"Yeah? How'd you manage that?" Ryan asked, gently rubbing her belly.

"Asked him if he wanted to eat some jizz out my pussy," Alida laughed. "Dumb ass went nutso on me and I zapped his ass with that wasp spray."

"Oh my God!" Ryan said, shocked. "Did he tried to hit you again? That is it! You're never getting around him again!"

"Sprayed him like a bug," Alida laughed. "Counselor said she didn't really see a need for any further sessions."

"Um, hello?" Jeremy Leblanc, a pudgy eighteen year old waddled into the office.

"Get up, Honey, I actually have to work," Ryan said, easing Alida out of his lap.

Ryan let the boy fill out an application, read through it, and interviewed the recent high school graduate.

"Um, yeah, I figured, this would be perfect; the ad said you're looking to fill three shifts," Jeremy said. "I could go to school; I'm at U.L.D. and I could um, you know, earn... See, I got to pay child support, my ex-girlfriend just had um had a daughter, Estelle, and I got to pay her eight hundred a month child support."

"Estelle's a pretty name," Ryan said.

"No it's not," Alida yelled out from the corridor. "I told you we're naming her Patsy, after my mom."

"Could you excuse me while I stick her in one of the units?" Ryan asked.

"I dare you," Alida laughed.

They heard the sound of feet running down a concrete walkway.

"Okay, I've got one for the eight to four shift, got one says he'd really like the midnight to eight; you okay with four to midnight?" Ryan asked, getting to his feet.

"Yeah! That'd be great!" Jeremy said.

"Great, we open on Monday; need you to come in on Saturday, how about two o'clock? Get your keys, go over the computer program? Plan on about three hours; that Work for you?" Ryan said.

"Yeah, sure," Jeremy enthusiastically agreed.

"Great, see you," Ryan said and dashed out of the office.

Jeremy heard Ryan's feet run down a concrete hallway. A moment later, he heard a high pitched squeal then laughter.

"No, no, no, don't you dare take me into one of those nasty storage units, take my clothes off and fuck me," Alida protested as Ryan picked her up.

"Wouldn't dream of it," Ryan lied as he used the kick switch to open one of the units.

"No, no, please don't," Alida protested as he pulled her dress off over her shoulders. "Remember; I'm a married woman."

"Oh, that's right, I better not," Ryan said as he unsnapped her bra.

"Oh, this is horrible," Alida protested as he eased her panties off.

"Yeah, it's terrible," Ryan agreed as he unzipped his jeans.

"Don't you dare make me suck that big nasty cock," Alida said as she took him into her mouth.

He slowly lay down on the cold concrete floor and she climbed on top of him.

"I'm pregnant; you better not fuck me, you hear?" Alida warned as she took his cock into her pussy.

"You're pregnant? Last thing I'd ever want to do is fuck a pregnant woman," Ryan said as he thrust himself into her.

"And don't you dare tell me you love me; that would just be disgraceful. Fucking a married pregnant woman," Alida moaned as he played with her breasts.

"Even if I do?" Ryan asked.

"Especially if you do," Alida affirmed. "Remember? I'm married to another man."

"I love you, love you so much," Ryan said.

"And I love you too, Baby," Alida whispered.

"Terrible," Ryan said.

"Horrible," Alida agreed.

Jeremy peered around the corner and watched the two make love. He wanted to pull his cock out, wanted to masturbate, but was afraid they'd hear him.

Jeremy did flood his briefs when he saw Alida dismount from his new boss and saw her puffy pussy lips dripping semen. Face burning; Jeremy made his way to his ugly little Kia.

"Concrete floors? Not a fan," Alida said.

""Yeah, well, had to try it at least once," Ryan agreed as he helped her dress again.

"Hey, I um, hi, I'm here um, saw you was looking for people work a couple of hours?" a tall, lanky man stammered as Ryan entered the office again.

"Here, if you could just fill this out," Ryan said, handing the man an application.

"I um, I'm working down at the Super One Grocery store Monday through Friday, midnight to six unloading them trucks so I'm looking for something, you know, Saturdays and Sundays," the man said, rapidly scribbling on the application.

"Saturdays, midnight to noon, same on Sundays; that'll work for you?" Ryan asked.

"Uh yeah, perfect if you ask me," the man said, looking up.

"Don't mind my asking, what happened to your eye?" Ryan asked, looking at the man's prosthetic eye and the scar tissue around the socket.

"Afghanistan," the man said. Fucked up, got ambushed."

"Thank you for your service," Ryan said, standing and offering the man his hand. "I'd be honored if you'd work for me, sir."

"Thank you, name's Patrick," the man said, shaking the offered hand. "Patrick O'Reilly."

"Ryan Thibodeaux," Ryan said, asked Patrick to show up on Saturday at two o'clock, then sat and waited for the next applicant to show up.

"Hate that bathroom," Alida said as she entered the office.

"Really? Gosh, when I had Paul build it, I said, now you make sure your sister in law likes this, okay? Guess he screwed up, huh?"

"I can't reach anything!" Alida complained as she pulled herself into his lap.

"Even the urinal?" Ryan asked.

"What? Girl's bathrooms don't have urinals!" Alida protested.

"They don't? Where do you tinkle?" Ryan asked.

"Tinkle?" Alida laughed at his choice of words.

"If y'all are busy, I can come back later a grandmotherly looking woman said, smiling.

"No, she was just leaving because she has to go to Clark's and get our lunch," Ryan smiled.

"Stick a crowbar in that wallet and pry some money loose," Alida said, getting off of his lap.

"Stick a... Woman, please! Have I ever denied you anything you want?" Ryan asked, handing her a fifty dollar bill.

"Jelly beans," Alida said, dashing to the door.

"You are so full of poop, you hear?" Ryan called out as he handed the woman an application.

Chapter 14

Since Carl had been out on bail when Alida pressed charges again, he was denied bail and had to sit in DeGarde's Lock-Up, waiting for his trial.

John and Corrine pestered Sophia Coutre with numerous phone calls, even as she reminded them that each phone call she personally answered was billable as one hour of her service. Since none of her staff was good enough to talk to them, in John and Corrine's eyes, she managed to bill them for forty hours in one month. Forty phone calls, at three hundred apiece did curb the Betsingals' enthusiasm for calling their attorney.

Corrine's solution was to start calling Alida, since Alida was the root of all her son's problems.

Alida started each conversation with "What do you want, you evil old hag, and remember, I'm taping this."

Even after being told she was being taped, Corrine did not hesitate to hurl racial slurs and a myriad of other complaints and insults at the girl.

"You're not helping," Ryan told Alida as Alida informed Corrine of her son's inadequacies in the bedroom.

"Not trying to help," Alida admitted, not bothering to cover the mouthpiece. "But don't you think his momma needs to hear how Carl's cock was so small I had to go find me a real man?"

"Now you listen hear you little slut," Corrine hissed into the telephone.

"Oh, hey, your boy ever tell you about the time I had me a mouthful of Ryan's dick snot?" Alida chortled into the telephone. "Yeah, I made out with Carl, made sure he got plenty of Ryan's cock juice in his mouth. Gave your boy an itty bitty boner; think Carl might be one of them closet fags?"

"Alida!" Ryan gasped, shocked.

"Hey, listen, Corrine, it's been real fun going down memory lane with you, you know, like how I used to go fuck Ryan, then come home and let Carl lick all that delicious man cream out of me, but I got to go. You have you a real nice day, okay?" Alida taunted and hung up the telephone.

After Corrine finished screaming her frustrations, John hugged her tightly.

"Listen, come on, listen. We both know what the little cunt wants; she wants money," John soothed.

"Yeah, and?" Corrine snarled.

"So, let me offer the little bitch some money; she goes on her way, we go on ours, everyone's happy," John counseled.

"First she has to drop the charges," Corrine said, warming up to the idea.

"Do I look stupid?" John asked.

"Honey, now is not the time to bring that up," Corrine joked, face still quite tense.

In his office, Ryan grimaced, close to ejaculation, as Alida sucked and licked his cock. She fondled his heavy balls with one hand, stroked the length of his cock with the other.

"Oh," e let out a long groan and began pumping his semen into her throat.

Alida got to her feet, grabbed the small jar of jelly beans off his desk and popped a few into her mouth.

"Umm, jizz and jelly beans; what a combination, huh?" she chortled.

"Jizzy Beans, bet you'd sell a bunch of them," Ryan agreed.

"Hey!" she said eyes wide with wonder.

"No, Honey, I was just kidding," he laughed.

The home phone rang again.

"Honey, let it go to voice mail," Ryan said, but Alida was already running for the phone.

"Hey, Alida, hi, it's me, John, you know, your favorite father in law," John said, trying to sound jovial on the telephone.

"Oh, hi, cock sucker, what you want? Oh, and my lawyer says I got to tell you this, so I'm taping you, okay?" Alida barked into the telephone.

"No, no, that's fine," John said, frowning heavily at the 'cock sucker' comment.

Because of the 'cock sucker' comment, John got right down to the purpose of the call.

"One hundred thousand," Alida snapped when John asked how much it would cost them to have her drop all charges against Carl.

He laid out his terms and she laughed a mirthless laugh.

"Uh huh, I drop the charges and say 'where's my hundred thousand' and you say 'what hundred thousand' and I'm up shit's creek," Alida said.

Alida hung up the telephone.

"Honey, what are you doing? We don't need one hundred, I make that in a month," Ryan said as Alida rapidly punched in some numbers.

"Hey Ethel, hi this is Alida," Alida said, holding up a hand to Ryan.

She smiled up at Ryan.

"Him? Yeah, he's treating me pretty good, makes sure I get all the protein I need," she laughed.

She laughed louder.

"Well you asked! Hey, Penny around?"

Alida craned her head up for a kiss and Ryan obliged her.

"Hey Penny, um, it against the law to offer someone money to drop some charges?" Alida asked.

She nodded her head as she listened, smile growing wider and wider.

"Yeah, I got it; we put that tape recorder on the phone like you said, got it right here," Alida said.

She listened a few more moments.

"Okay, after lunch? That work? Okay, one o'clock," she said and hung up.

"What's after lunch?" Ryan asked as Alida pulled him back into his office and onto his couch.

"Police are coming by; they want that tape of John offering me money for dropping the charges," Alida said, crawling into his lap.

"Hold me," she said quietly.

He put his right arm around her back and rubbed her large belly with his left hand.

"Not much longer," she murmured, putting her hand on his left hand.

"And then I'll have two ladies to love," Ryan said.

"Yeah?" she asked, snuggling in tightly.

"Yeah," Ryan agreed.

"God, I wish we were married; mother fucker just give me the divorce instead of being such a dick," Alida complained.

"So what you want for lunch?" Ryan asked, trying to diffuse Alida's anger.

"Barbeque," Alida decided. "Pulled pork sandwich, baked beans, apple slaw, oh, and them fried pickles."

"Whew, gas?" Ryan asked, pinching his nose.

"I'm pregnant; I'm going to have gas," Alida defended.

"Don't mean you got to make it worse by eating beans. Or pickles," Ryan said, gently easing her off of his lap and standing up.

"So where you going?" Alida asked as she settled on his couch.

"Who else has apple slaw or fried pickles," Ryan asked, bending over to kiss her. "Back Yard Barbeque, of course."

"Oh, and get that jalapeno sauce." She demanded.

"Sure, can't wait to hear 'oh I got heartburn, oh why'd I eat that sauce?'" Ryan said as he walked to the door.

"And cornbread!" Alida screamed right before he shut the door.

"Well no shit, corn bread, place is famous for their corn bread," Ryan chuckled as he got into his pick up truck.

Ryan hit the number six on his cell phone.

"Back Yard Barbeque," a raspy female voice answered.

"Hey, need an order to go," Ryan said.

"Sure Honey, what y'all want?" the woman asked.

She had not requested it, but Ryan knew better than to come home without a strawberry malt. His favorite blonde waitress skated out to his truck.

"Hey," she chirped. "Welcome to Clark's; ready to order?"

"Monica, come on," Ryan smiled. "What you think I want?"

"A hot blonde?" she asked, batting her eyes playfully.

"Nah, not today," Ryan smiled.

"Oh well, then, let me guess, one large strawberry malt, one large chocolate malt," she said.

Ryan did admire the girl's fleshy ass cheeks as she skated away. Another waitress whizzed by and he admired the brunette's large breasts in the snug tee shirt.

"Ten sixty eight," Monica said as she skidded to a stop.

Keep it," Ryan told her as she prepared to make change for the fifteen dollars he handed her.

"Thanks, I don't care what your girlfriend says; you're all right," she joked and skated away.

"Yeah, I don't care what Alida says, you're all right too," Ryan said to himself as he backed out of the parking lot.

At the Betsingal house, John prepared to run to DeGarde National Bank.

"What? You're really going to get that little black whore a hundred thousand dollars?" Corrine screamed in disbelief.

"Little bitch ain't stupid," John had to admit. "No hundred K, Carl sits in that jail."

"And we're out a hundred thousand!" Corrine shrilled.

"Oh, okay, how much is Carl's freedom worth then? John snapped as he left the house.

Ryan had to step on his brakes as a cobalt green Astin Martin cut right in front of him.

"Fucking idiot!" Ryan screamed, pounding on his truck's horn.

"Fucking idiot," John muttered, giving Ryan the finger.

Ryan also gave John the finger when John abruptly turned into the parking lot of the bank, without using any turn signal. Ryan drove three more blocks down Highway 27 and turned into the parking lot of Back Yard Barbeque.

The ramshackle building had been there for several years, and looked as if it had never been painted, or cleaned, or had any maintenance done to it. The screen door's hinges protested when Ryan pulled on it.

The interior was warm, almost hot; the three ceiling fans doing little but stir up the warm air. The noise level was deafening; every table in the place was full and each patron was talking, trying to be heard over the other patrons. The smells that assaulted Ryan's nostrils sparked a light growl in his tummy and put a smile on his face.

"Order to go," Ryan smiled at the old black woman that stood at the counter.

"Ryan?" the woman asked.

"Yes ma'am," Ryan smiled.

"Don't even know why I asked; you the only to go order I got; everyone else done got their's all ready," the woman cackled as she went through a swinging door.

"And you got the jalapeno sauce in there, right?" Ryan asked when she came back with two large paper bags.

"Yeah, put our new apple molasses sauce in there too; Kind of sweet, kind of tangy, goes real good with them sammiches," the woman said.

She looked at him through her one good eye.

"You ain't eating this all by yourself, huh?" she asked.

"No ma'am, my girlfriend's pregnant; she'll probably eat most of it by herself," Ryan smiled.

"Aw yeah, well when a girl's all pregnant, oh Lord! They can do them some eating, can't they?" the woman cackled as she rang up the order on a cash register that was probably the original cash register when her father in law started the business.

The cornbread was still piping hot but Ryan tore off chunks of it as he drove home.

"Hey, butt hole!" Alida complained when she saw the mutilated piece of cornbread.

"There's another piece in there," Ryan assured her. "Just needed to get me some before you got a hold of it."

Ryan got out two plates and divided the meal for them. He put the plastic container of jalapeno sauce in front of her and decided he'd give the apple molasses sauce a try.

"Heavenly Father, thank you for this meal and thank you for the many blessings we have, amen," Alida said quickly; Ryan's blessings tended to go on and on and she was hungry.

"Wow!" Ryan said as he tasted the sauce. "Here, try this."

An hour later, true to his prediction, Alida was complaining bitterly of heartburn. He smirked as he walked to answer the door. She might be complaining, but she was still sucking on her large strawberry malt. She put it on the counter when Ryan ushered in their lawyer Penny and two uniformed police officers.

Penny Richards, Sergeant Elise Richards and her partner, Officer Eric Miller listened to the taped conversation between Alida and John. Alida also played a few of Corrine's phone calls for them.

Elise tried very hard to be professional, but finally burst out laughing when she heard Alida tell Corrine how she made out with Carl with a mouthful of Ryan's semen in her mouth.

"Oh my God, you are too funny!" she hooted.

"I try," Alida smiled, hamming up the false modesty.

"So, how are you supposed to pick up this money?" Eric asked.

"Told him I'd pass by their house," Alida said.

"I don't like her going in there by herself," Ryan said.

"They know you?" Eric asked.

"No, not really, I mean, they know who I am, but I don't think they know me," Ryan said.

"So, if I went in with her, they wouldn't know I wasn't you?" Eric said.

"No, probably not," Ryan agreed.

"All right," Eric said, smiling.

Alida looked at the very handsome police officer, with his curly blonde hair, ice blue eyes, and dimpled chin. His muscles threatened to burst out of his uniform and his slacks displayed a prominent bulge.

"Now, Honey, since he's pretending to be you, I'm probably going to have to be all hugging on him and kissing all over him a lot, okay?" Alida said to Ryan.

"Uh huh," Ryan smirked as Eric shook his head no.

"Got some street clothes in the car," Eric said and left the house.

"Don't worry about him with your girlfriend," Elise whispered to Ryan.

"I'm not," Ryan assured her. "She was squeezing my hand under the table the whole time she was saying all that bullshit."