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Click hereShe went to the hidden sublevel at this facility and brought her clone off-ice and uploaded all of her memory files and relocated her tracker into it. The clone woke in her bed the next morning completely oblivious to the talk with her sister the day before and it now had all of her tracker information stored within the sacrificial unit if things became worse.
Sylvia was off the grid and preparing for an end-game with this royal family, Jace, and her annoying sister. She had the goods to bring her sister down now as well. Almost 600 years in the making to create this game of chess, one move at a time.
She just had to brag about her 'successes.' Sylvia did keep an eye on her through her own spies. Sylvia was much better at finding her sister's spies who became some of her meals, lovers, lab projects, or all of the above.
- COMMENTS
James_Duncanover 1 year agoThis had massive potential, you started out really well and then you fell into the trap that many fall into. Instead of showing things, you told them and the pace was so high, that vast amounts of motivation and reasons for doing things that could have been woven into the story weren't.
So sorry, but can't given it a high score, simply because of that, despite the creation of a very intriguing world, full of potential.
Anonymousabout 3 years agoSo many words with almost no action. Well written. Very inventive original story universe. Interesting characters. Cannot comment on the plot as very little plot was revealed. Only in last page or two was any major character shown with any weakness. Jace is an example of a character type that bores me. All powerful and smarter than everyone else in story. I consider that lazy writing by any author. It is much harder to develop flawed characters than perfect. The author is the god of each story. Able to create all characters and the story universe as they desire. If chapter 2 is same then I’ll move on. Too many words for too little action.
Anonymousover 3 years agoThat was one of the most in depth stories I have ever read and it rocked, especially for being Part 1. How the hell did you even create all that information about each character let alone keep track of it? I had to go back to check things multiple times which some might think that as being a pain in the ass but I love the fact that you came up with not just an incredible story but also a great backstory and an unbelievably detailed amount of differing species...and let’s not forget about Jaces cock with scales which had me laughing. I was glad his cum has pain relieving properties because I would tend to think those scales must chafe quite a bit. The way you described all the blood, gore, and violence was descriptive beyond measure and truly added to the overall feel of the battles while the mostly witty banter and sexual innuendoes managed to show the yin/yang of the way you write which is very entertaining as well. I really am blown away by this story and to think that I barely scratched the surface by the look of it. You are an incredibly creative author and both your talent and your story leave me awestruck.
Thank you for ALL the time you must have invested in creating this wonderful tale and the world within it.
Stay safe and be well.
J.D.
Anonymousover 3 years agoAnother real winner here, wow! I just finished reading the current published chapters and started to re-read it immediately again! I think this story is my all time fav but I’ve also read everything you e done and am always blown away! One of my favorite authors ever regardless of “professional” or “amateur”, I have only ever been this entertained by writing from an author from you, Etaski, Tefler, and JRR Tolkien. I consider all of you in the very top echelon and hope you really expand and build this story into its own universe like you did with your others! That said Jace may be the coolest and most badass character I’ve ever read and is my favorite. Elder and Charlus from the Silvertree stories were amazing, and so was Jack Travis and that world, but Jace is a cut above them all and I’m blown away. Take it further and expand even more, I just can’t wait to see where it goes. Go wild and I am a fan and reader for life!
-DaddyIrishman
