Kane Ch. 04

Carla sighed, she could only dodge the question for so long and it looked like her time was up.

"Things happened before you were born, things you won't understand. Your dad and I haven seen each other since before you were born so he's kind of like a stranger to me and you don't let strangers move into your house."

Ian seemed to consider this.

"So why don't you become friends?" he asked.

"Because...."

Carla faltered, she had no real excuse or answer to his question.

When they got home, Ian started on his school work; he had already worked through one module on the mathematics program. Carla was horrible with math and very grateful that Ian could figure out the problems by himself. The question about why she and Kane couldn't be friends nagged at her, if they were going to be raising Ian together or at least for as long as he planned to stick around they really should get to know each other better.

Kane was at her door right at six with another box of computer programs and a new laptop. Ian was beyond ecstatic.

"Thank you!" he squealed jumping up into Kane's arms, "Mama look!"

"I see. Why don't you look through those while I talk to your dad?" Carla asked.

Kane followed Katrina to the kitchen.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" Kane asked confused.

"A new laptop? And all of those programs?"

Kane understood.

"I see, you think that I'm trying to buy his affections. Well I'm not, we agreed that I could provide whatever he needed for his education and that's all I did. The laptop he has doesn't have enough memory for the programs that I just bought. The programs are for entertainment purposes only although they are educational. Anything else?" he asked.

"No and I'm sorry, it's just that... never mind, thank you."

"Are you really sorry?" Kane asked.

"What? Of course I am." Carla replied.

"Prove it, have dinner with me. I promise to be the perfect gentleman."

"I don't.....sure." Carla said.

"Great!" Kane said hiding his excitement, "How about tomorrow evening?"

Carla arranged for Ian to stay with Dina.

"I have to work again tomorrow night, can Ian stay over?"

"Sure, I'll bring him around four."

Carla remembered their earlier conversation and decided that Dina was right; she needed to start trusting people.

"Kane and I are going to dinner."

There was a shocked silence on the other end of the phone.

"I'm glad and thank you for telling me."

Kane helped Ian set up his laptop, Ian really didn't need the help but it gave Carla time to arrange for Ian's care for the next evening. Tonight he planned to force the issue of blame and then maybe tomorrow night they could begin to make their way toward each other.

Dinner consisted of leftovers with Ian and Kane sharing a bag of warmed blood.

"I tried it cold and I didn't like it." Ian said right before he took a big swallow, "and then I tried the clots. Yuck!"

Kane laughed, those were his sentiments exactly.

"I agree with you on that, so which program are you going to try first?" Kane asked.

"I think the one that I need my headphones for, the rocket simulator."

"I thought as much." Kane replied, "Before you go lets clean up the kitchen so your mom can relax."

Carla started to protest but closed her mouth; she did have one more paper to grade.

Forty -five minutes later, the kitchen was spotless and Ian was building and flying rockets. Kane sat on the couch and thought about how to start round two.

"What were the past five years like for you?" He asked.

Carla was surprised by the question, her defenses immediately flew up.

"It was hard but we made it and we would have managed even if you hadn't decided to drop in."

Kane ignored the sarcasm in her voice.

"Who helped you through the pregnancy?"

"Why do you want to know all of this?" Carla asked.

"I just want to know who I have to thank for caring for you while I was gone."

"Dina, Mary and Josie; Dina's mom but Mary died three years ago."

"I'm sorry." Kane said softly.

"Me too, I still miss her."

Kane let her have a few minutes to remember her friend.

"Carla, I love you and Ian."

And then he waited.

Carla looked at him; her anger was just beneath the surface.

"I loved you from the moment you stepped on that stage and said your name."

He waited again.

"We couldn't have stayed away from each other that night no matter how much we may have wanted to, we were and are meant to be together."

"No." she said softly, "you don't get to say that to me after all of this time."

Kane ignored her.

"Remember how I kissed you that first time and then it changed to something much more intimate? And you kissed me back?"

"I don't want to talk about this."

Kane kept talking.

"You felt something, you felt connected to me and you reacted not as a whore but as a woman who is with her mate and instead of embracing you and celebrating the fact that I found you; I hurt you. It's me that all of your anger should be directed at."

Carla felt her eyes burn with tears.

"Yes! Damn you! This is your fault, for five years I've tried to understand what happened that night, why I ended up in the back seat of a car with a man that sang to me. I even remember wondering why you were so angry but I couldn't stop myself from going with you. Every time I look at Ian, I see you and I would wonder if you were dead or alive, if you had a wife and children and I couldn't make myself move on. What I don't understand is if you loved me as you claim, then how could you have left like that? You didn't even tell me your name! And then you tried to make me forget. When I found out that I was pregnant, I was at a loss as to what to do. I didn't even know how to begin to explain it when it came out that Ian's father was white; when he got sick I couldn't give them any information...I was so scared! I thought that he was going to die and while that was happening you probably had some woman in the back seat of your car. I will always hold myself responsible for going with you but the rest of it is your fault. Is that what you wanted to hear?"

Surprisingly, Carla noticed that she felt better, not great but better. No matter how Kane explained her going with him to his car, it would take a long time for her to understand it. She felt a sense of relief that she was able to finally say what she had been feeling and then she realized that she had been goaded into it.

"Bastard."

"Believe me, I've been called much worse and I'm sure that I deserved it as I do now."

"Why did you do this?" Carla asked.

"I had to, until we got this out into the open; it would be like a black cloud over us and I want us to start our life together with a clean slate. I know that you still hold yourself responsible for going out to the car with me and I can see that I won't be able to change your mind on that so I won't try but I think that after awhile you'll see that there wasn't anything that you could have done and you'll let it go."

Kane left the sofa and walked over to Karla. He knelt in front of her and took her hands into his.

"I humbly ask your forgiveness for the wrongs that I have done to you and Ian. I was a coward in not wanting to accept who and what I was; I was selfish to put what I thought I needed before what I knew that you needed. I was wrong in leaving you alone and unprotected, I am sorry that it took me so long to come back to you and I swear that I will never leave you or our son again."

He kissed both of her hands and moved away.

Carla was at a loss as to what to say, it was probably one of the most heartfelt apologies that she had ever heard. She needed to think for a while.

"I have to think, would you mind going up to check on Ian?"

When she heard the bedroom door open and close Carla closed her eyes. She replayed their conversation in her head and tried to determine if he was lying, when he was talking all she felt was sincerity. The analytical part of her kicked in, what did this mean for her and Ian? Ian would have his father and she would have her....mate? And that meant sex, Carla squirmed in her chair at the thought, was she ready to accept the whole mate thing? Could she trust Kane not to pull another Houdini? He had given his word and she sensed that he didn't do that lightly so the question was this, was she going to take him at his word? This was too much to think about at once, they would start with dinner and proceed from there but for tonight she would forgive him.

While Carla was downstairs debating, Kane was on the phone.

"George, how are the renovations going?"

"Good, Kane what are you going to do with the place?" George asked.

"I have a plan."

Kane told George his plan and gave him a list of instructions. He would have instructions for Ian later.

The next afternoon, Carla took Ian over to Dina's. As per Kane's instructions, Carla made sure that Ian drank a glassful of blood before they left.

"Mama? Is it alright to talk about daddy now?"

"Umm sure." she replied. There was no point in telling him not to, the cat was already out of the bag.

To her surprise, Josie didn't seem to know anything about Kane so Carla let it pass. Dina came out of her room dressed for work and Carla walked her to the car.

"You didn't tell your mom?"

"You didn't tell me that I could. See how this works? You tell me something, I keep it to myself until you say otherwise. Have fun tonight, I have to get going."

After saying goodbye to Ian and Josie, Carla headed home her stomach in knots. She had taken the night before to think. Kane had been visibly relieved that she had decided to forgive him and even she felt relief, she hadn't realized how much her anger had been draining her. Now she was just nervous, she hadn't been out with a man since Justin.

After much debate, Carla pulled out her outfit for the night; a simple black dress with a jacket and a pair of pumps that added two inches to her height. By the time she was showered and dressed, she had fifteen minutes to spare.

Kane was almost surprised when Carla forgave him but he suspected that he hadn't seen the last of her anger. Kane arrived at her door right at six; he waited nervously for her to answer the door hoping that she hadn't changed her mind. When she opened the door, his breath caught; the word beautiful and then "mine" came to mind.

The Japanese restaurant was busy but since they had reservations their wait wasn't long. They shared a table with four other people. Kane found out that Carla hated sushi which he considered one of the major food groups, liked to read when she had time and he already knew that she was good cook. The one thing that he wanted to change was that she was always on some kind of diet; she was perfect as she was. By the time the meal was over, they knew the basics about each other and Carla had decided that she liked him. Ian was right she found, Kane really did have some funny stories.

After the meal, Kane suggested that they go for a walk. As they walked he put his arm around her and expected her to pull away but was surprised when she moved closer, taking a chance he stopped her and stood in front of her.

"Carla, may I kiss you?"

Carla froze, she felt a desire to hurt him the way that she had hurt for five years; she was going to make comment about fucking her now that he fed her but she stopped herself.

"You're angry." Kane stated.

"Not exactly, but for just one second I wanted you to feel what I felt that night but two wrongs don't make a right do they? And what would it accomplish?"

"Do you know how amazing you are?" Kane asked.

"No not really, just practical. The way I see it I've wasted enough energy on being angry and its time to move forward and in answer to your question, no you may not kiss me. But I do have a question for you, why did you hate yourself so much?"

Kane moved to her side and put his arm back around her.

"I think it was a case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence. After George left, I was happy at first, after a week I was climbing the walls but pride wouldn't allow me to call him back and to tell him that he was right. I thought a lot about you during that time and knew that I had to find you, I wasn't sure of what I was going to say to you when I did or even if you'd talk to me but I had to try. Finding out about Ian was a shock, a pleasant one but a sobering one, it was then that the magnitude of what I had done hit me."

"Who told you about him? As far as I know we don't know any of the same people." Carla said.

"No one told me, I followed you home the night we were at O'Malley's and I went into your house, I saw the pictures. I felt as if I had been kicked in the gut by a mule, you have to believe that I never would have left had I known."

"I believe you." she replied, "But how'd you get in without tripping the alarm?"

"I can vanish in and out of anywhere; do you believe that I love you and Ian?"

"I believe that you love Ian, me? I don't know if it's love or guilt." she replied.

"I could show you." Kane replied.

"How do you propose to do that?" Carla asked.

"Let me kiss you."

Carla laughed.

"You really are stubborn aren't you? The answer is still no."

"Are you afraid of the truth?" Kane challenged.

Carla stopped walking and turned to face him.

"Think about what you just said, the last few days of my life have been turned upside down. You show up out of nowhere and tell me you're a vampire. I'm actually heating blood up in my microwave for my child who is also a vampire and I'm immortal to boot so do you care to tell me how I'm afraid of the truth?"

"That is all true and you handled it admirably but that's not the truth I'm talking about. I'm talking about the truth of what we feel for each other and you can't tell me that you don't feel anything even if you haven't admitted it to yourself. So let me repeat my challenge if you want to call it that. Let me kiss you and if you don't feel that I love you, I will content myself with being a father to Ian and will wait for you to reach your own conclusions."

Carla looked at him, there had to be a hitch somewhere.

"How do I know that you won't do that compulsion thing?"

"It doesn't work on you remember? And I should mention that you won't be able to lie to me and I can't lie to you."

"So why the kissing? Just tell me how to know if you're lying." Carla said.

"Kissing is so much more enjoyable and you will feel the full emotion behind it, do you accept my challenge?"

"You get only one shot at this." Carla said not really believing that a kiss could do what he said.

"That will be all that I need." Kane replied.

Carla was suddenly nervous as Kane led her from the sidewalk and into an alley. Kane checked to see if anyone was near by and then turned his attention to Carla.

"Why so nervous?" he asked as he cupped her face with his hands.

"I'm not." Carla replied.

"Liar."

"Alright already, let's do this and remember this is your one shot."

"I remember."

Suddenly Kane's mouth was on hers gently caressing her lips with his. His hands had moved from her face and his arms were around her. Carla's arms went around Kane's waist almost of their own volition, she felt warmth that began inside of her and spread throughout her body, it felt like what used to be called a warm fuzzy but this was so much more than that.

Kane deepened the kiss and the intensity of the warmth spread, suddenly; it was over.

Carla would have stumbled it Kane hadn't been holding on to her. She jumped when she heard applause behind her, they had generated an audience. As they walked through the crowd, she got several envious looks. When they were away from the crowd, Kane stopped her.

"Fess up," he said.

"It was a very nice kiss and all but..."

"Carla..."

"Alright! I believe you."

"You love me too." Kane said.

"I didn't say that." Carla snapped.

"You didn't have to, I felt it and I am more than satisfied with that. Let's go home."

The drive back to Carla's was quiet. Carla was lost in thought, she wasn't going to lie to herself and say that she didn't like the kiss; she did and it did as he said it would. The question was what now? Was she supposed to throw caution to the wind and go riding of into the sunset with Kane and Ian? And what was Kane expecting? She had some idea, but was she ready to go to bed with him? Carla made herself slow down, maybe he wasn't even thinking along those lines.

"What do you want from me?" she asked.

"I want you and Ian with me as you should have been. I want you as my mate and I very badly want to make love with you. What is it that you want?" Kane asked.

"I don't know." Carla said.

"You are a horrible liar, even without the benefit of our bond I would have been able to tell, so lets try again; Carla, what do you want?" Kane asked.

Carla hesitated trying to gather her thoughts.

"I want to know that no matter what happens that Ian will always be cared for."

"I can promise you that but you know that isn't what I meant, what do you want from me?"

"I don't know that I want anything from you." she replied.

Kane growled in frustration.

"Carla, why are you still fighting this? I can tell you from personal experience that it's pointless and will only lead to frustration but I will let it rest for now."

Neither of them spoke for the rest of the drive back each lost in their own thoughts, Kane's on how to get her into bed and hers on how to stay out of it. The moment that she had the thought she recognized it as an admission, she also knew it was just a matter of time before she ended up there.

Kane weighed his options, taking her by force was out of the question; he knew of those who did but it was a practice that he abhorred, compulsion was out because it didn't work on her and if he did that he might as well do the first option, he wanted her willing. He could wait her out but given her stubborn nature she could convince herself to hold out until she couldn't anymore, that left one thing; seduction. He wondered where her sweet spots were and looked forward to finding them.

"We're back early enough, we could call and see if Ian wants to come home" Carla said as she unlocked the door.

Kane wasn't fooled and called her on it.

"Who's using Ian now?" he asked as he reached around her, opened the door and brushed his hand against hers.

"You're nervous again, why?"

"Nothing, you're kind of standing to close." she replied.

"Are you sure that's it? I was much closer than this when I kissed you, which by the way; I thoroughly enjoyed. Is there any chance of a repeat?"

Carla felt hot.

"I need a drink, how about you?" she asked walking quickly to the kitchen.

"No, its not a drink that I need." Kane said as he stood behind her. He bent down and nibbled an earlobe, all she would have to say is stop and he would. He heard her gasp as he continued to nibble before taking the lobe into his mouth and sucking it gently.

"Kane?"

"Tell me to stop and I will." he said after releasing her lobe and blowing a warm breath on it making her shiver.

"You taste sweet." he said as he kissed a trail from her ear down to her neck.

Carla jumped and then moaned.

Kane pulled her back against him, he was hard and wanted her to feel it.

"Do you feel that? It's for you and you alone. I am yours as you are mine, tell me that you don't want me, tell me that you don't want this. Say it and I'll stop right now and I won't touch you again until you tell me otherwise."

"But..." Carla started to say.

"But what? " Kane asked as his hands rubbed over her hips and down her thighs, "tell me" he urged.

"What if...."

"I won't, not ever. Carla, do you want this?" he asked as his hands slid slowly under her dress caressing her stomach but avoiding her crotch.