Kee 01

Kee 01

Hi there, I'm Kee and I'm nobody special, just Kee, someone who figured out that living as the boy that I was born as wasn't going to work for me. I'm also someone who has a touch of an attitude sometimes because I don't subscribe to the gay tag that I've been given by a few people because I'm actually trying to be the girl. I mean, I walk like a hen duck and I talk like a hen duck and I do the things that female hen ducks are expected to do, so, I'm a hen duck!

But that's enough of my ranting and raving about a couple of un-named idiots (Bob and Mark) who don't count in my life anyways. And Bob is not the same as Bobby because Bobby liked his duck under glass a couple times. I mean, his SUV is big and has a lot of glass windows and his drake was a perfect match for me, so, um, Bobby and Bob are two different people.

And by the way, I don't walk like a hen duck because of the size of my booty. I just waddle a little bit, that's all. And it's way under plump anyways and some people like that, so.

"(Beep, beep)"

"Hey, Quinn."

[Click, click, click go the heels across the sidewalk of the Strip to Kee's open truck window]

"Hey there, Kee, did the three packages arrive, duckie doo, hmm?"

"Oh, they did arrive, Quinn and they are smaller and lighter than I expected and they are sitting on my Breakfast Bar, so, um jump in and I'll drive you to my place because I need some street cred for being seen with a girl in my truck, so?"

"(Giggles) well, you might be surprised with how many people know about our quirky relationship, Kee, so you have a little street cred that you don't even know about. But I caught it off at stem when some people say that I wear yellow just for you and I remind them that some ducks are just colorful. Anyways, let's go the way of a hen trade then, okay?"

Ugh! Trades never work out in my favor! Even though they all work out as a tie, they are never in my favor!

[Quack, quack, quack go the cat calls, but more for how Quinn was leaning into Kee's window]

"I'll hen trade you for your truck keys, tee he, Kee and I'll point out that guy, Zak is just up the Strip with an empty seat in his truck and I'll continue with how the Flipped Frozen Frosty Shop is serving the Purple Passion Pleasure drinks this week and I'll finish with how you started it with that guy, Zak with your quacking whacky duck lips a couple of weeks ago, so?"

I did no such thing! I mean, I talked to that guy, Zak at Linda's pool mixer, but trust me, my "dick lips", ugh, I mean, my "duck lips" are a selfie disaster. And I already said that, ahem, as the girl, as the hen, my dick lips work just fine. A couple of times. But not (yet) with that guy, Zak.

"I don't know, Quinn because..."

"Well, you're out and you're dressed..."

Hmm, dressed is a relative term these days, right folks? But I was decent and out, so.

"And you're dressed skimpy enough to use the drive-through, Kee and I'm going to need at least 30 minutes to sort through the contents of the packages..."

Skimpy enough, tee he! But I like my body and I haven't even entered a program yet for what the drugs will help me later. And I may have been rejected from the program because of my attitude, um, twice, but it's not my fault! They kept asking me how I felt living on the gay side of life while sitting me in front of that spinning red and white wheel thingy and they never asked once how I would behave as the hen duckling of the house!

Which, OMG, would be exactly as the hen! The hen! The drake has a drake and it gets hard for his hen when he gets home from work and the hen complies! It's simple math, right?

Which, OMG, ugh, makes the drake so gay, right? That's not what I'm looking for either.

"Well, I don't know, Quinn because that guy Zak, may have misunderstood a few things last weekend in the bathing suit changing hut and he might feel the need to call me out for my aggressive behavior because that guy, Zak lives straight8, even though my behavior was wasn't all that aggressive, so, um..."

I was so aggressive with Zak! But he held me back. After kissing me back one time. In the changing hut.

"So, um, I don't know about this, Quinn because..."

"Oh, but I need the privacy in your house because I'll have to try on a few things on and that means that a woman will have her boobs out in your bedroom and you like dreaming about my boobs anyways and then I'll be worried about a secret camera, so, I might have to hold one of your bed pillows up tight to my naked upper torso, which will transfer my body lotion scent to you sleeping bed pillow, while I wander around your bedroom looking for a hidden camera, so?"

Stupid girl tricks! And stupid me for not having a secret hidden camera in my bedroom! Tee he.

[The truck front door opens and there is a changing of the guard]

[Click, click, click, click and the passenger door opens and closes and the guard glares back with the eye of a duck on the prowl]

"Shut it, Kee, you know Quinn and I are a team and I need dibs on the products! And I need to pee, you know, using your bathroom, so?"

[And the arms wave backwards out of the windows as the truck of hens vroom up the Strip]

Which, OMG, might have left me stranded on the Strip because that guy, Zak never implied back that he was all that interested in me other than one kiss back that I almost forced out of him because when you lip plant someone square on, it's basically a kiss back too! LOL, my aim was so perfect!

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, are you just going to flash pass my crew and not say "hey" then, huh, Kee? We don't bite and we never trash talk about you, so?

LOL, trash talking is such a relative term, right? I mean, it's either "yeah, that's right, Kee, we were trash talking about you because a boy is supposed to be a boy and not a Boi" or it's all "they twisted my words because what I said was that I would be willing to stop over on Sunday nights and take your trash bins out to curb and you know, receive a little thanks back, that's all, Kee" and things like that.

Well, of course, my person favorite is "what I meant to say, Kee, was that I would punch your booty with my drake and not that I wanted to punch your face", which by the way, um, my mouth is your girlfriend and nobody has sunk their drake in my luscious booty, yet.

But I will do that when the right drake tags me as his hen and I think I'll be quack, quack, quack good at it.

"I mean, Tanner, um, Tanner and crew, um, hey there, um, I was just waddling my way up the Strip to find that guy, Zak because he might give me a ride to the Flipped Frozen Frosty Shop because they are serving their famous Purple Passion Pleasure beverages this week and that's why I almost flew right by you, so, um, the end, what else, hmm?"

"That guy, Zak? When my other crew guy, that guy..."

"Oh, don't you even say your other guy, Toby because I texted that guy, Toby in our senior year and asked him if wanted to talk to me at the Homecoming dance and that guy, your guy, Toby texted me back with a bird emoji, which wasn't a duck and then I texted him a year later and asked him if he wanted me to bring him a lunch up to his work and yep, that guy, your, Toby texted me back with a double bird emoji, which, again, were not ducks and then, OMG, I texted your guy, Toby, like three months ago and guess what I got back in return, so? That's right, three flipping birds!"

[Wow, that crew leader guy, Tanner, let's the steam settle a little bit]

"Well, Kee, wow, with that attitude, um, I mean, Kee, are you sure you have the phone numbers in your phone entered correctly because the "b" and the "n" are right next to each on the keypad and that guy, Tony, I mean, that guy, Tony always says that a boy should be a boy and not a Boi, so? Also, my guy, Toby, has been collecting carved wood ducks since like the Homecoming dance, especially since the dance theme was "come fly away with me" and all, so?"

Well, SOB! Also, the theme was "spread your wings" but I suppose we won't quibble quack about that.

[Elbow, elbow, elbow, elbow through the crowd, but not as good as [cough, spit bits of feather, cough] Peacock Penny elbows her way through a crowd]

"What the hell is going on with my name being flung around like I was a wounded duck in flight because, oh, um, hey there, Kee, I haven't whacked, I mean, heard you quack in a while, so? Also, I heard that the Double Twirled Frosty Twist Shop is serving their famous Red Riveria River beverages this week and I remember that you wore a red pants suit to the Homecoming dance, so?"

Well, it was a maroon pants suit, but again, there's no point in quacking over the past.

[Never mind how they ended up vrooming up the Strip together because there was a quick discussion about that guy, Toby's wood duck collection and he took that all wrong because that guy, Toby thought he heard that a duck hen was going to dip down on his wood and he got overly excited, but that guy, Toby has been sex challenged, so they got through it. And challenged means starved.]

"Toby, just park right here and um, clean that up a little bit and I'll go inside, so, um, ewe, but I'll be right back."

[Double Twirled Frosty Twist Shop front door chime jingle, jangle]

"Oh, it's you, Kee, um, that guy, Tony is working tonight, so, I'll get the first aid kit then, so?"

"BeeBee, shut it and make me two Red Riveria River beverages to go and with bendy straws, so?"

"Oh, do I get a free sheer and sparkly facial veil then for Quinn's Arabian Nights party, hmm? Without flashing my tits at you, hmm?"

"Well, you have to talk to Quinn about that because..."

[A quick work shirt jerk down to mostly expose one, in a bra, which was the key to winning over Kee]

Well, the "V" cut in her work shirt was small, so, a top of bra flash.

[You're still a freak over a exposed bra!]

Well, that's true and I hope to be able wear a bra if and when they ever approve me for a program.

"Well, you've always been my favorite, BeeBee, but I still need my..."

"Two Red Riveria River drinks coming up for your man and Boi girlfriend date, Kee. Tony? Tony? There's a problem in the Men's Room, Tony?"

[Tap, tap, tap, is BeeBee on the list, tap, tap, text sent]

"Aw damn it, did someone dribble again? Tee he, my faith in men has been restored because we keep getting those Boi customers and everybody knows that they are too dainty to dribble!"

[Ping, a response text, duh, BeeBee is a man magnet]

"Oh, well, SOB, if it isn't..."

Oh, I was turned and headed to the Men's Room without saying a word and guess what guys do? Even guys who think a boy should be a boy and not a Boi because things are different behind a door.

"I don't even know why I bothered following you into this Men's Room in the first place, Kee, so?"

"Oh, because deep down, Tony, you want to bother with me, so?"

"Hah! Deep down, I want to throat punch you, Kee, so?"

"Oh, I've had a couple of boyfriends before, Tony, but my deep throat capabilities have never been challenged, proven or disproven, so?"

Well, they haven't. Or I'm not exactly sure what that means, either way.

"Grr!"

"Oh, I usually mumble "ewe, ick, ewe" and all, but I can try something different, so?"

[Wall pinning between the extended arms, right? It's a real thing and a sign of the score]

"You can grab my booty, Tony, to hold me where you want me, so?"

[The arms drop, grip, squeeze, grip, squeeze]

"Grr!"

"Um, I'm on a date tonight, but you can text me tomorrow. You can also post that your boy drake duck got hard for a Boi hen duck, so?"

"Grr, grr, grr."

"Kiss me and end this, Tony."

"Grr, no way, Kee."

"Force your tongue down my throat like you're going to force your drake down my throat soon because I will be your hen soon and end this for tonight, so?"

"You little tease [goes in for the kill and the crowd goes wild, oh, wait, Kee slipped away at just the right moment and he almost face plant kissed the wall]."

"Order up! One man and Boi date comb special, which includes a bottle of water for afterwards!"

Well, BeeBee didn't need to scream all that, especially since I could clearly understand it through closed and heavy wooden door.

"[Cheek smooch] dietarily speaking, I'll be available for you to have your way with me, any way you want, Tony, by Sunday night [mwah smooch], bye."

Well, there are articles about that and it's not as bad as it sounds and it might be good for weight control since all you can eat is mush. It's just a "every time" thing. Or deal with it, I guess.

But since I used bananas and strawberries for so long to learn about and simulate sex, I mean, I can make a smoothie at home, right?

End Kee 01