Keys to the Sun

Summer broke the silence with another one of her brilliant questions.

"Do you ever feel like you can hear the rain, in your head, even when you know it's not possible?"

She watched his reflection as he turned to face her. "Um. What?"

"Never mind. Forget it."

"So ... I saw you up in the scaffolding last night. It's a good place to hide."

"I wasn't hiding," she lied. "I'm not afraid of Bill." She tried to sound braver than she was. Bill terrified her. She saw the potential for violence in the way he held his shoulders as he stared at her across the dining hall.

Jesse raised an eyebrow and pushed his coverall sleeves up over his elbows. The hair on his forearms looked soft. Summer's palms itched with a sudden desire to touch him.

"Bill is small-minded and mean-spirited. He's had it way too easy, here. With his father in charge, he gets whatever he wants." Jesse frowned and looked away.

Summer knew what he was thinking. It seemed everyone in the domes knew Bill's intentions toward her, like he had claimed her as his property. It was humiliating.

"I don't know why he won't leave me alone. He hates me. Why would he want to use his Key on me?" Summer felt a chill, and she rubbed her hands over her arms. The thought of being alone with Bill made her feel sick.

"Summer, you're beautiful. You're like one of those ancient paintings of angry angels, with that wild yellow hair and shining skin. Your eyes are so light, they're like little mirrors ..." Jesse broke off, like he was stopping himself from saying more.

Summer felt a hot flush rush up her neck. Did he really see her like that?

He cleared his throat. "What I'm trying to say is, anyone with a Key would want to be alone with you. You're smart, you like to read, you're only a little bit weird ..." Jesse broke off laughing at the incredulous expression on Summer's face.

Summer tried to shake off Jesse's words. "We're talking about Bill, Jesse. I'm not sure he knows what a book is."

"Ok, you're a trophy to him." Jesse shoved his hands in his pockets. "He probably assumes you're untouched."

Her face flushed hot. "What does he know about how touched or untouched I am? What do you know, Jesse?" Tears pricked behind her eyes.

"I'm sorry." He looked down at his feet. "But it's true, isn't it? I never see you on your own with another guy. Just about everyone over the age of consent has been caught at least once having sex without Keys. You're alone almost all the time. You'd be surprised how much I see. No one pays attention to maintenance. But we're always there. We're always watching."

Summer stared at him for a long moment.

"Ok, that sounded a lot creepier than I meant it to."

Summer puffed out a reluctant laugh. Jesse chuckled and rubbed his face with both palms.

"You know what's creepy, Jesse? Everyone knowing everyone else's business. I hate it." Summer snagged her hands in her tangled hair and pulled. "All of these rules about sex and marriage. Turning a corner and practically tripping on people doing it? It's not like that back home."

"That's the other thing that gets Bill going." Jesse waved in a gesture that took her all in. "You're different. You're the Earth girl."

"I'm the freak girl."

"You're like an exotic bird, flying just out of everyone's reach. He wants to catch you. Maybe prove you aren't so special."

"I'm not special." Summer suddenly found it hard to look at Jesse. She watched his reflection in the glass windows. The rain running down the outside distorted his reflection, and hers. They could be almost anyone. Her heart ached with the desire to be someone else, entirely.

"I get things for people. You know that. Pills from pharma, special food orders, privacy, even without a Key ...." She caught his wry grin from the corner of her eye. "Do you know how many people ask me for books? Especially the old ones? The stories? Just you."

She wanted to explain to him that these books were a link to an Earth life that was lost to her forever. But he wouldn't understand. He'd never had the things she'd lost.

"Well, you and Mrs. Wharton. But she's so old she probably remembers them being published."

"So, what you're saying is, though I have nothing in common with my peers, the oldest lady in the Domes and I should probably hang out?"

Jesse grasped his chin thoughtfully.

"Yeah, I guess that's what I'm saying."

Summer pulled a leaf off of a mint plant, tore it in half, and offered a piece to Jesse.

He leaned back against the window, popped the piece of mint leaf in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully.

"Speaking of hanging out ... do you want to? With me? Tomorrow?" He was faking his nonchalance this time, she was sure.

"Like, a date?"

Jesse grinned. "Yeah, like a date."

"A date on Venus? Will wonders never cease?" Summer smiled, but felt herself getting worked up. She tried to stop herself. Why could she never keep her mouth closed?

"Does it ever bother you the way everyone is so ... casual? Maybe I get too lost in my books. I know life isn't a fairytale, especially here. But, it all feels so ... matter of fact, so clinical. I want to feel a spark, don't you? Does the choosing of a life-long partner have to be a transaction of convenience and simple compatibility? Can a guy not try to pursue a girl? Win her heart?"

Summer felt out of breath. That little tirade was probably the most of herself she had ever shared with Jesse. She wanted to cram every little syllable back into her traitor mouth.

Jesse grabbed for her hand, and pulled her close to him. The lightning flashed behind him. It made his expression hard to see.

"Summer. What the hell do you think I've been doing all this time?"

He was staring at her, trying to smile.

Images flashed through her mind: the books, the daylight bulb, intervening with Bill at risk of his job, maybe more.

She shook her hand loose from his and stroked the back of his neck at his hairline. Jesse closed his eyes at her simple touch and a pleasant warmth flared up, low in her belly.

"I get so caught up in hiding, sometimes I forget to see where I actually am."

He opened his eyes, but she kept her hand on the back of his neck. His skin was so warm, like he had been out in the sun too long.

"You're on Venus, Summer. Earth is so far away, it's a point of light in the night sky, behind a life's worth of storms. But if you can be brave, this can be your home."

Jesse took her hand and pressed it against his chest. She felt the tightness of muscle under her fingers, and the tattoo rhythm of his heart. His own beat, not that of the relentless rain.

He leaned down to kiss her and his lips were warm against hers. At first, all she could feel was the touch of them, soft but firm, and the beating of his heart under her hand. Then, after a suspended moment, the rest of her senses came into focus. She could taste the saltiness of his skin. The smell of him filled her nose, spice and musk and something like soil. An ocean's roar deafened her ears as her blood pulsed in her veins, and it drowned out the sound of the rain. She felt crashing waves of her growing desire.

And Jesse's. She could feel his hardness dig into her hip as she pressed her body against his. His hands stroked the backs of her arms, leaving heat trails on her skin through her thin t-shirt. When his tongue pushed against her lips, she opened them with a sigh, inviting him in, letting his mouth explore hers.

"Summer," he sighed, and she moaned softly. Lightning flashed in quick succession like a strobe against her closed eyelids. When his hips moved against hers, she pushed back, made him growl as he moved his hot mouth to her neck and shoulder.

Jesse's hands slid up her sides, his thumbs caressed the outside of her breasts, then circled around to gently brush her hard nipples. The kiss kept their bodies crushed together.

The pulsing, throbbing need between her legs, Jesse's palms teasing her breasts, the length of his hard-on pressing into her ... the sensation of it all suddenly overwhelmed her, and she pulled away, stumbled back a step, fingertips pressed to her swollen lips.

Jesse stayed where he was, leaning against the glass of the dome window, breathing heavily.

"I'm sorry. Was that too much? I couldn't help myself."

Swirling thoughts and emotions rendered her speechless.

"Are you OK? Say something, please."

Another flash of lightning dazzled her eyes, made her blink.

"I'm just ... I've never felt like that, with someone."

"Believe it or not, I haven't either." He straightened up, ran his hands through his dark copper hair, let out a long breath.

She wanted to believe him. But he had experiences she didn't. She looked over her shoulder toward the doorway of the seedling room, suddenly nervous about the time. The night shift was due. She didn't want to be found here, alone with Jesse. They would make assumptions ...

"C'mon, I'll walk you." Jesse held out his hand, as if he had read her mind. She took it. Together they made the long walk back to the apartment she tried hard to think of as "home".

****

Summer woke early. There was a note from her father on the kitchen table.

"Happy Sun Day!" it read. "I will see you outside with your group. Don't be late, the doors will only open once. Eat something. Love, Dad."

She smiled at the jar of nut butter on the table anchoring the note, but skipped it for a dwarf apple.

She felt that nothing could upset her today. The overwhelming emotions from her encounter with Jesse still lingered. She pressed her fingers to her lips, remembering the intensity of the kiss and everything that had followed it. The jittery feelings of Sun Day anticipation were made stronger at the thought of spending it with him. They were to have an actual date. Together, out in the sunshine. Father would be so pleased.

All work had been suspended for the special celebration, so Summer dressed in a soft, short-sleeved t-shirt and thin drawstring pants that flared at the bottom. She traded her work boots for canvas slip-ons. She was immediately reminded of how she used to dress for a day at the beach, back on Earth, even after the warnings, when the scientists had all but prohibited it.

Her apple was enough for her nervous stomach. She could still hear the distant drumming of the rain inside her head, mocking her. What if the rain didn't stop? She passed the cafeteria and common rooms, busy with their festive Sun Day activities, but didn't linger. Families, kids, everyone would be finding their groups, milling towards the Great Rotunda and the two vast steel doors that would open once to let them outside, and again to let them in when the rains returned. You miss the door, you miss your chance to get outside. While she appreciated the generally calm if festive demeanors of the people around her, she didn't understand them. If she hadn't been outside for seventeen years, she would be a stark raving lunatic, pounding her hands bloody on those loading bay doors. How could they stand the anticipation? The big event was still an hour away and she was ready to jump out of her skin.

Summer scanned the crowd for Jesse. They had agreed to meet at the entrance to the seedling room, where they had been talking the night before. It was across the Great Rotunda from the loading bay doors, a little apart from the crowds. They would wait, move in behind the majority of the people leaving from this side of the domes, not get rushed by a crush of bodies.

She circled the Great Rotunda, trailing her fingers along the wall, keeping out of the way. She was halfway to the seedling room when a stairway door slid open just ahead of her, and a group of people stepped out.

Bill. Alice. Sasha. And Rocky trailing a few steps behind.

Oh, fuck. She would backtrack. Fade into the crowd. They wouldn't see her.

"Hi, Summer!" Rocky called in his slow voice, totally without guile.

In what seemed like slow motion, the others turned, one by one. The girls' eyes widened in surprise, but a sly grin seamed Bill's face, like he had planned this moment himself.

Summer turned and tried to dart toward the center of the Rotunda, but they were too quick for her. Hands grabbed at the back of her shirt, her arm. She couldn't get away.

Alice and Sasha pushed her back against the wall. Bill stepped in front of her, effectively blocking her from anyone who might notice them standing there. Summer tried to look over Alice's shoulder, toward the seedling room. Was Jesse there? Would he see them?

"I've been looking for you, Earth girl. Where ya been?" Bill leered, looming over her.

Summer tilted her chin up and tried her best to look him in the eye. She wouldn't let him know she was afraid.

"I can't talk now. I've got to meet my father."

Bill slammed his palm against the wall next to her head and Summer jumped. When he leaned in close she could see his pupils expand. He looked predatory.

"Liar. Your dad went out early, with mine. He's gone."

"She's been hanging around with that janitor. I've seen them." Alice's shrill voice was like a pin in her ear. Summer could see her lank black hair and pasty skin out of the corner of her eye.

On her other side, Sasha stepped closer, leaned her shoulder to the wall. She let the curve of her large breasts push into Summer's upper arm.

"I don't know what you want with this freak, Bill, look at her. Hair like corn, body like a boy's ..." Sasha pulled on a piece of Summer's hair, pinched her upper thigh. Her laugh was a low rasp that grated against Summer's nerves.

Where was Jesse?

Bill frowned at Sasha. Summer saw sweat beaded at the hairline of his short cut hair.

"Because I've already had you, Sasha." He spat the words angrily. "And Alice. And everyone else in our group worth the risk of a public screw. Besides, she's pretty hot, once you get up close and really look at her."

Summer felt Sasha stiffen beside her, while Alice blurted out an angry, "Hey!"

"I'm dying to spend some quality time with you, Earth girl." Bill pulled his Key from his back pocket. He poked it edgewise into her chest, right above her left breast.

No. Never. The prickle of adrenaline rushed over Summer's skin. She could hear half the population of the domes milling around them, echoing in the great space. Excited voices. Shouts of greeting, sounds of celebration. No one would notice the small group of friends standing over by the wall.

"You can't make me." She hated the way her voice sounded, high and breathless. Her hands clenched at her sides. She wanted to push Bill away from her, but she didn't want to touch him.

"Technically, no. But if someone like me wants to use my Key on someone like you ... well ... it's custom for you to take a room with me. Give me some private time. So we can ... get to know one another ..." Bill dragged the edge of his key down her breast, over her nipple and back up. Flicked it several more times until her nipple protruded painfully through her thin bra and t-shirt. Summer's face burned with humiliation and shame. Sasha and Alice snickered.

"I'm sure that once we're alone I could persuade you to see things my way."

"I won't. Ever." Fear was closing in. She tried to duck under Bill's arm but Alice pulled her back.

Bill leaned in so close there was only a sliver of air between them. He whispered viciously into her ear.

"You are enough of a problem already, aren't you, freak? You wouldn't want to cause any more trouble for dear ol' dad by saying no to the Commander's son, would you?"

"Uh, guys? The light went on above the doors. It's almost time to go outside!" Summer had almost forgotten Rocky was there, standing somewhere behind Bill, a shadow that was always a few steps behind.

She took her chance when Bill half turned to tell Rocky to shut the fuck up, and rammed her shoulder into Sasha's breasts. Sasha fell back a few steps with a muttered curse and Summer quickly stepped around her. The freedom of the Great Rotunda and the seedling room were in her sights .... One of them grabbed a fistful of her hair and pulled her back.

"Let go of me!" She shouted, kicking back with her legs, punching with a closed fist. She connected with something soft, Bill's stomach, or, she hoped, his crotch. She was rewarded with a low grunt of pain from behind her.

Bill locked his arms around her and dragged her towards the door to the stairs he had come through just minutes before.

"Take her in a closet!" Alice shrilled, her dark eyes wide with excitement. "Use your Key!"

Sasha was rubbing the side of her breast with one hand. "Yeah! Bitch deserves it."

Rocky trailed after them, flapping his hands in agitation. "Guys, c'mon, the doors."

With the help of Alice and Sasha, Bill was able to pull her though the stairway door, despite her struggles. The last thing she heard before the door clicked shut were excited cries of: "The rain is slackening! It's letting up! It's stopping!" echoing through the Great Rotunda.

There was a door behind the staircase that Summer had never noticed before. Bill let go with one hand, swiped his Key against the panel, and then punched in his special Key code. The door slid open and he pushed her inside. She tried to bolt back out but he blocked the doorway with his wide body.

"Please, Bill, don't do this! It's time to go outside, we don't want to miss it. I can't!" A wave of panic rose up in her. She tried to keep a scream back behind clenched teeth.

The others were crowding in behind him. The girls wore their typical smirks, but Rocky carried an expression of worry, pacing a few steps behind them.

"Oh, don't worry, Summer. We're going outside. I wouldn't waste my Sun Day on something like you." His eyes grazed her body with disdain and she felt a new kind of vulnerability. "That can wait for another day. Soon. But you need to learn respect, so I want you to take some time and think."

He stepped back out of the doorway, and swiped his Key again. The malice on his face was the last thing she saw as the door slid closed and sealed her in. She threw herself against it but it was too late. Now, only a swipe of Bill's Key would let her out, even if someone else had the regular key and code to the door. She was trapped.

Summer thought she heard something, then, some distant sound, the alarm bells, maybe, on the great metal doors that sounded just before they were opened to the outside.

A new frenzied panic seized her. She beat on the door, bruising her fists. Her screams for help made her throat raw. In the back of her mind she knew it was useless, she knew no one would hear her over the opening of the doors, the noise of the excited dome inhabitants, surging to get their first glimpse of an outside world not battered with a constant deluge of rain.

The rain. The relentless drumming in her head, even here where she knew she couldn't really hear it, was gone.

Summer sank to the floor and curled up in despair. Her ears felt blocked up with the sudden silence. She cried hot tears that fell on the cold floor of the supply closet.

Through wet lashes she saw shelves around her full of maintenance supplies and she thought of Jesse. What would he think when she didn't meet him? That her urge for the outside was greater than her desire to share it with him? And her father? He would wonder when he didn't see her out with her group, but he would be busy with soil and vegetation samples, measures of the atmosphere. This day was more about scientific endeavors to him than the joys of a day in the sun.

When the noises started up in her head, she thought it was the drumming of the rain, and she would have wept fresh tears if she had any left. Then a dusting of plastic particles fell onto her face and into her hair, and a plastic bolt bounced by her hand. She knew she must be dreaming when she looked up and saw Jesse's face peering at her from above.In her exhaustion and despair she must have fallen asleep.