Learning From Women

"I see, and as the babe I'm meant to look out of windows during the day making notes and lay on my back at nights to received unwelcomed attention?"

"Something like that. She finds I can't cook and have left her bag containing her clothes and make-up behind and that sort of stuff."

Gina came off her high horse and giggled, "You bumbling idiot. It sounds fun."

"I'll make up your loss of wages with pleasure because you'll be stimulating my mind as we travel and you can help with the research to find detours off our circular route that would interest the magazine's international readership."

"Okay, I suppose we'll have time in Renmark before we begin our intrepid journey?"

"Yes and I'll hire a 4WD outback campervan."

"This sounds a lovely way for you two to get to know one another," Patricia said, and the three Majors looked at Gina, his father saying, "I know plenty of people who'd buy a novel based on what you have just told us. Good work son."

Gina said March could be a good time for her. "That gives us well over two months to plan and to see if we'll remain friendly and compatible."

After they returned home that evening Eddie and Gina were alone in the lounge in a cuddle in front of their empty coffee cups when Eddie looked at Gina seriously. "I want us to live together."

Gina's breathing turned a little ragged. "Oh god."

"As soon as you give me your answer, if it's a yes I'll call my grandfather and ask if I can extend my accommodation in the loft of the packing shed to form and furnish a bedroom, lounge, kitchen and a proper bathroom at my expense. I plan to stay on at Renmark for a third year. I think we should discuss you being employed by me as my researcher. My agent believes my writing will grow in popularity."

"Oh god."

"Are you able to say something more than 'Oh god"."

"Yes come to me my lovely man. You know what I want... push that big fat part of you into me once we go through the prelude to sex. I love foreplay being applied with soft touches and sweet kisses. Then I unleash passionately."

Eddie sighed thinking perhaps at last he had the near-perfect woman. Gina was quickly becoming his real time heroine. He would be disobeying his mom by fucking Gina in the house but moms were used to kids being naughty.

Half an hour later Gina began to pant and squeeze around Eddie's thrusting member.

She had her head back muffling pre-lease screaming when Eddie thrust his middle finger over but not into her rear pucker.

Boom.

"Ohmigod, I'm soaking you," she screamed.

Patricia came bounding in and heard what Gina had said.

"Don't worry Gina," she said. "I'll get towels. I take it you have done this against my wishes voluntarily?"

"Oh yes Mrs Major," Gina panted. "Your Eddie has been such a good boy."

EPILOGUE

Gina became pregnant to Eddie during her stay with the Majors that Christmas. They had of course returned to Renmark before pregnancy was confirmed. By then the loving duo resided in the loft of the old packing shed.

In early March Eddie's first novel, 'Intrepid Sarah Cavendish' with a secondary title 'Australia's First Professional Female Gambler', clearly marked 'a fictitious account of lusty and almost barbaric behaviour of the bulk of the country's earliest free settlers' provoked outrage but that was tempered by literary scholars proclaiming it was based 'substantially on fact'.

Madams of brothels and gynaecologists more or less agreed that it was not beyond belief that the character Sarah Cavendish could have had sex a total of 12,880 times with hundreds of men during her lifetime without being an active prostitute, although she would have been kept rather busy in bed or stretched over gambling tables. Then the debate switched to the unlikelihood that Sarah would have kept count, that could any active woman remember how many men she's had sex with and how many times knowing men would have no idea?

The media jumped into the controversy and rushed to Renmark to interview Eddie, two of those interviews beamed live on TV about how he'd managed to find so much about the life of Sarah Cavendish when she wasn't recorded in history?

Eddie's claims that Sarah was fictitious, an amalgam of many women settlers arriving from Britain in the 1820s, were brushed aside as egoistical journalists proclaimed they were out to find evidence of 'the real Sarah Cavendish'.

Then just as the controversy began to die theSydney Morning Herald ran a story quoting a former Lord Mayor of Sydney saying, "The black sheep of my maternal family was a Jeanette Maple who arrived in Sydney from Liverpool, England, in 1821. Her real name was Lady Sarah-Anne Cavendish."

Up flared the controversy again until researchers established Jeanette Maple confessed her sins relating to stealing jewellery from a duchess to a Wesleyan missionary soon after her arrival and married the minister. She became quite famous locally as a devout worker and organist in the church local people in an outer suburb built for her husband.

Of course sales of the book boomed because many Australian's are proud of some of their very outlandish and even infamous pioneers who colonized Australia and there's nothing like controversy to stir book sales along.

When the dust settled Eddie was the best-known person in Renmark and district. And then his publisher released a promotional campaign simply titled, "Eddie Major's New Book.' It described how 'Under the Orange Tree' set in the controversial author's adopted hometown of Renmark 'cuts to the bone the pious attitudes of country Australians that remained into the late 1930s before the coming World War changed the attitudes of Australians forever'.

Eddie rushed to Adelaide later that day, lured by a large fee, appearing that evening on Australian TV. The interviewer asked was this latest novel another sexy potboiler. Eddie replied stiffly that his genre was action adventure and yes, wicked sex featured dramatically in the new novel.

"What is your heroine's name?"

"I don't wish to say prior to publication."

"Why not."

"Because she's family. This novel is based on historical fact."

Frantically attempting to avoid the interview taking a nosedive, the interviewer asked why did the book had such a funny title?

"Because it began under an orange tree, the hero aged forty-four having sex with the heroine, aged nineteen."

"Ohmigod," shrieked the relieved interviewer.

Eddie continued to refuse to name names but that was enough. Next morning newspapers appeared with the headlines like 'Ohmigod, Author Eddie Major Finds Sex Amongst his Ancestors' and 'Ohmigod, Writer Eddie Major Uncovers Family Sex Skeletons'.

One of Eddie's first callers that night was his mom, asking what the hell was he doing making out her parents were over-sexed. He calmed her and said it was not about then, but about their parents, and she said oh, then that was okay, er possibly. She was relieved when told her parents had read and approved the manuscript and it included a dedication to them. Patricia said the wedding invitation had arrived that day and it looked wonderful.

Four weeks later booksellers were reportedly holding orders for almost 40,000 copies of 'Under the Orange Tree'. His agent Marco, when calling to thank Eddie for the wedding invitation, had predicted that would happen but had thought perhaps 10,000 advance orders might be possible.

* * *

Dressing slowly for the wedding Eddie thought of the women he'd encountered sexually in his life. They were all coming to the wedding, including Fiona McLeod with her lover Gabrielle Stuart. Ah, a great story line for his next novel. His current manuscript with the working title, 'The Big Loop With Macy' had seven chapters to go.

Patricia came up the stairs and opened the windows. "I saw Molly Brooke leaving here at dawn when I was up waiting for the sunrise. Eddie, how could you when you have my gorgeous Gina who will be featured all over Australia tonight on TV as one of the country's most beautiful brides ever?"

"Mum, you can't blame me. It's in my genes. Old Mrs Charles was very informative about what you were up to when running wild around here in Renmark before your marriage. According to Mrs Charles no lusty lad or fit young married man in this district was safe with you on the loose. Her word for you was 'carnivorous'.

"Well it wasn't my fault. It's in my genes. At least that won't be included in 'Under the Orange Tree."

"Um, sorry mum."

"Ohmigod, Eddie, how could you!"

THE END