Learning to Let Go

Five...six...seven...eight—

Jonah felt it. The fist was in. The pain was still bad, but now much less so.

He heard his Domme's voice.

"Look at you. You're such a fucking whore. Your cunt just swallowed up my whole hand. What a slut."

"Y-yes, Mistress. I-I'm your little whore."

Vivian began turning and moving her hand, loosening up her sub even more. She was legitimately impressed. She'd been fisted before, and although it was vaginal, it was enough for her to know how hard this must be for him. But Jonah was enduring this test of the human body like a champ.

She got down lower so she could soothe him.

"That's my boy. That's my brave little boy. Be good and take my fist."

"Yes, M-Mommy."

Slowly but surely, Jonah's hole got completely wrecked. After thirty minutes of abuse, it was soft, loose, and open. Vivian knew it was time for the grand finale.

Jonah, now deep into submission, noticed Vivian remove her fist. He felt the natural instinct to close his hole, but at the moment it felt better to keep it gaping. It had to look like a pussy now, wide open and hungry.

He then felt her put something else in, something narrow enough to feel like it was hardly touching his walls.

"What's that, Mistress?"

"You'll see, boy."

He heard a click and it began vibrating.

Vivian massaged Jonah's prostate with the vibrator, and it wasn't long before he was vibrating as well. His whole body twitched, quivered, and his little dick hardened. Within a minute, her submissive came so hard that he screamed.

There were a few seconds where Jonah was hardly aware of where he even was, but when he came to he realized that he had his face in Vivian's coochie and was eating her out purely from instinct. He continued, relaxing into his Domme. She pet his hair affectionately.

"You're a very good boy, Jonah."

He mumbled affirmatively. He felt himself get tired and stifled a yawn.

"Is my baby boy all tuckered out?"

Her sub made the "uh-huh" sound again.

"Let's go to bed then. Does that sound good, baby?"

He pulled off and nodded.

They spooned that night. Vivian couldn't resist reaching down and fingering his loosened hole.

"I did that, boy," she whispered. "I made it all mine."

Jonah sighed happily.

"It already belonged to you, Mistress. Along with the rest of me. I'm yours, heart, body, and soul."

Vivian hugged him even tighter.

"Goodnight, my little angel."

*****

Jonah was the first to wake up the next day. He thought about his feelings and what they meant, and was able to answer a question, one that had always been lurking at the back of his mind for weeks by then.

He knew what he was feeling, and he knew what he wanted to say, he just had to be brave enough to follow through.

Once he sensed Vivian waking up, he turned around and gave her a kiss. She was smiling when her eyes opened.

"Morning, honey," he told her.

"Morning, babe." She yawned and looked at the clock. 8:17. A totally normal time for her to wake up on a Saturday.

"Vivian, I need to tell you something."

She looked at Jonah and saw that he had become serious all of a sudden.

"What is it?"

He paused before answering.

"I have never been happier with somebody than I am with you. You've helped me so much, and exploring this side of myself would have been so scary without you. I thought about it, and...I think this is what love feels like."

Jonah looked into her beautiful eyes.

"I'm in love with you."

Vivian let that sink in. It was a topic that had been on her mind as well, and like him, she had been experiencing doubt. But seeing how happy she became after hearing her boyfriend tell him he loved her, she knew that she felt the same way.

"I love you, too, Jonah."

He let out a sigh of relief. "Thank God. I was scared I'd said it too soon."

"Trust me, if you did, I would have told you."

He chuckled. "You aren't one to sugarcoat things."

Vivian kissed his lips.

"Want some breakfast?"

He grinned. "Sounds great."

*****

Ever since they started dating, Vivian gradually took more and more control over Jonah's life.

It began with simple things: shaving his face, the fiber supplements. But with time she had more say in what Jonah did.

She told him that his meager body hair suited him well enough, but she wanted a hairless boy. Every morning in the shower, he would shave himself all over. It was difficult and time consuming; he had to get up at an earlier time so he wouldn't be late. His roommates both showered at night, so he could take his time, but mastered the skill enough to do it quickly before too long. He stopped nicking himself, stopped missing spots, and got the proper equipment.

It was all worth it to be hairless. Jonah felt so good when he was baby smooth. It felt almost unnatural, but that strangeness was arousing. It made him look paler, younger, and thinner, which fit well with his submissive role, and Vivian agreed. It wasn't lost on her that she had more hair than her boyfriend almost 100% of the time now, but she wouldn't have had it any other way.

Vivian also recommended various skin care products for her sub. She wanted him to be smooth and clear, and he learned to maintain that as well. Washing his face, moisturizing, face masks, exfoliating, it was all time consuming, but he put forward a conscious effort to keep to the routine. Results showed themselves after about a week, his skin becoming clearer and less dry. He grew to love it, and thanked Vivian profusely for making him do it.

That's how things were with the two of them. Vivian was making more decisions for him, and as strange as it was, the more he gave up, the happier he became. Much of their relationship revolved around domination and submission: Vivian loved giving orders and Jonah loved following them.

As backwards as it seemed, giving up control and submitting actually gave him confidence in other parts of his life. He was happier, more outgoing, and friendlier. His friends started to notice, and when they asked him about it he just said, "I have a girlfriend that loves me."

But even despite all that, there was a big step Jonah was nervous about.

The two of them discussed it and concluded that they should get Jonah a chastity cage, so Vivian had 100% control over his orgasms. Jonah always kept to the honor system, when she told him not to come for a week he didn't, but having even the option taken away is a level of trust they felt they were ready for.

The two of them went to a specific shop in LA to get Jonah fitted and make sure the cage they'd purchase would be the right one.

Chastity cages usually prevent orgasms in three ways: keeping the testicles away and preventing them from drawing up, bending the penis so that it can't become erect, and confining it so it can't grow. Due to Jonah's anatomy, the last part was moot; his penis didn't grow anyway. But with the help of the store clerk, they were able to get one that would keep Jonah locked up. Store policy dictated that both parties sign a consent form before purchase, and when Jonah finished writing Jonah Stevenson under Vivian Coates it really sunk in what he was getting into. But then he looked at his Domme and he knew he was doing the right thing.

When they got back to her apartment, Vivian put the cage on Jonah, needing to use ice, since the mere idea gave Jonah a powerful erection. When Jonah heard the click, he could have sworn it echoed, reverberating throughout the bedroom.

"There you go, boy," Vivian said. "I officially own your cock now."

He nodded. "Thank you, Mistress. I know you'll do what's right."

They hugged, and Vivian attached the key (the only key) to her necklace.

She would never admit this to Jonah, but she saw this as a chance for redemption. Vivian had only used a cage once before with a serious sub a few years prior. Things were going well, at least for about a week.

Then she lost the key.

She wished she could point to an area, an event, a time that she lost it, but she couldn't. She simply got careless and lost the key to another person's genitals. After an entire Saturday of searching, she was at least able to conclude that it wasn't in her apartment. Since Vivian couldn't search all of Los Angeles for it, she had to face the music and confess to her sub that the key was gone.

He was understandably furious with her. It was a betrayal of trust he couldn't look past. Thankfully, his brother was skilled at picking locks and was able to get the cage off, but afterwards he informed Vivian that he never wanted to see her again.

The whole ordeal was one of Vivian's deepest shames, but she knew she had to make it up with Jonah. She resolved to never let the key out of her sight. Jonah had given her one of the most precious gifts a sub can give, and she resolved to show him that she was worth that trust.

Jonah felt the cage, this foreign, unnatural device locking away his penis. It was a barrier that was Vivian's to remove at her discretion. He knew that it would be difficult, but he would endure, for her sake.

The first few days were rough. Whenever Jonah became aroused, it would be physically uncomfortable. His balls ached and his cock strained to straighten itself, but the cage stayed firm. He had to learn to live with it: cleaning, shaving, peeing, going about his daily life with his penis locked away.

But all that pain was worth it when Vivian allowed him to finally orgasm. 10 days of horniness exploded out of him like a geyser, and it was at that moment that he knew they had made the right choice.

She controlled if and when he would come. It wasn't symbolic anymore; Vivian quite literally owned his cock.

Jonah wouldn't have had it any other way.

*****

Vivian did not have a good relationship with her family. Her mother and father divorced when she was young and her mom got custody. Vivian's mother then proceeded to get married to a man who hated his stepdaughter, and she him. She and her new stepfather would fight constantly, and her mother would always take his side. Vivian spent most of her adolescence hanging out at friend's houses and doing after-school club activities to avoid being at home. She enjoyed visiting her biological father, but he was in the military and moved around a lot, so there weren't often times they could meet. She considered herself basically estranged from her family.

She didn't know anything about Jonah's relationship with his parents, but one evening when he came over he just started talking about it unprompted. He said that his mother died when he and his little sister Erin were rather young, and his Dad worked hard to raise them both. Jonah's eyes lit up when he talked about his father and sister to Vivian, how they spent Christmases together and would meet up every May for his Dad's birthday.

Vivian felt the need to cut in.

"This is interesting and all, but why are you telling me this?"

Jonah got a very sheepish look on his face.

"Well, I was hoping you could come with me this year." The date of his father's birthday was May 19^th, a Saturday in around a week. "We live in Long Beach, so the trip wouldn't take that long, plus it's on a weekend!"

Vivian laughed. "You're selling this pretty well!" She thought about it for a moment. "I don't see why not. As long as your family is okay with it, sure."

Jonah grinned. "That's wonderful! I know they'll be fine with it."

Vivian looked at her sub's face. After dating him for several months, she had become adept at reading his emotions. She saw normal happiness and excitement, but there was something else, something suspicious.

It was relief. Why was her saying yes to this a relief for him?

"I feel like there's something you're not telling me, boy."

Jonah's blood turned to ice. She knew. He was stupid to think he could hide anything from her. He couldn't deny it, but didn't want to say anything.

Vivian looked him dead in the eye.

"Tell me now."

Jonah swallowed before answering.

"Well, Mistress, I, uh...I..." he trailed off.

"Say it, sub!"

"I already told them you'd come, okay! I was just so excited about it, and I knew you'd agree anyway, and I was kind of caught up in the moment. I'm really sorry!"

He was hoping, praying that she would see this as no harm, no foul. He was wrong.

She reached out and grabbed his face.

"Tell me your safe word!"

Jonah was terrified.

"It's s-stingray!"

Vivian took a deep breath in and out.

"I'm not mad at you, boy, but you need to know that that's not okay. You can't just volunteer me for things."

Jonah tried to nod the best he could.

"I'm going to punish you now. Are you going to let me?"

They had been together long enough for Jonah to be able to read between the lines of what she said. She was giving him an out, asking him if this punishment would be going too far. He thought about it for a moment. He had felt so guilty about saying Vivian would come home with him without even asking her about it. He had rehearsed what he would say to her over and over in his head. She was his Mistress, and he had done something to betray her trust. He felt like as a submissive, he needed to be punished.

"Y-yes, Mistress," he said, shaking. "I've been a n-naughty boy."

"You're damn right you've been. Come with me."

She walked them to her room and lay him on the bed. Vivian got the blindfold, a ball gag, and their pair of handcuffs designed for BDSM. Jonah felt himself blinded, gagged, and immobilized, laying on his stomach. A pillow was put under him, making him stick his ass up. He'd been tied up like this before, and they decided that snapping his fingers twice would be his safe word when he had a gag on.

"You're getting spanked, boy."

Jonah shuddered. He hadn't been spanked since he was a kid.

Vivian stood back and counted to fifty in her mind, for two reasons. The first was that she wanted to have a clear head when she spanked him. She really was mad that he had done that, but knew that she needed to be composed when she punished him. The second reason was that it was a way to make him squirm.

Jonah felt like ten minutes had passed when the first strike came without warning. It was a hard, open-handed slap against his left cheek. He moaned around his gag.

"That's one. Nineteen to go."

Jonah's eyes widened behind his blindfold.

The next nine slaps were at the exact same place, and he felt like his cheek was on fire. There was a slight pause before Vivian laid the next ten on his right cheek, all in succession. Jonah was crying when it was over, but despite (though probably because of) the pain his little dick was straining to get hard in its cage.

Slowly, meticulously, Vivian removed all his bindings. In a few moments, she was cuddling him, his face against her chest.

"I'm not holding this against you, baby boy," she assured. "Just talk to me in the future, okay?"

Jonah tried to speak through his tears. "I w-will, Mistress. I'm s-s-sorry."

"I forgive you, sub."

She gave him some cream to put on his ass, but not before showing him her handiwork. He had two bright red marks, one on each buttock.

Vivian got more serious.

"I need you to tell me if that was going too far. And I don't want you to answer as my submissive. Answer as my boyfriend."

Jonah nodded.

"It wasn't too far, Vivian. Actually, I would rather you spank me than us yell at each other or whatever. I guess that's the submissiveness talking."

Vivian kissed him.

"Just because I'm the Domme doesn't mean I don't mess up, too," she said. "I'm not perfect. But I want to trust that you'll tell me when I screw up."

He nodded. "I'll keep that in mind."

They kissed again.

"I love you, Mistress."

"And I love you too, sub. Now, how about we order dinner?"

Jonah smiled.

*****

On the drive to Long Beach on the Friday before his Dad's birthday, Jonah talked with Vivian about his father and Erin.

"What do they know about me, Jonah?" she asked when the drive was almost over.

"They know that we've been dating for...five months now, I think, and that you're a few years older than me. They don't know you're my Mistress, but I intend to come clean to them this weekend."

"You know, it's not imperative that you tell everyone about what you do in the bedroom. It's your business."

"I know, but it's such a huge part of my life now. It's like coming out as gay, I think. You don't want to feel like you're hiding who you are from your family. Besides," he patted the crotch of his jeans, where right underneath his cage lay. "There are definitely some parts I plan to keep to myself." He pulled up to his house. "Dad's car isn't here. He must not be home from work yet."

It was 4 PM on a Friday, too early for his father to be home from his mechanic job, but well past the time his little sister Erin came home from school. She had recently turned 18 and was wrapping up her senior year. She wasn't too close with her brother, but she was happy nonetheless to see his car pull in to the driveway.

Erin walked out to greet him, but the first person to get out the car was a lady she assumed was Vivian. She was tall and curvy, very pretty, but looked like she was a decade older than her brother.

As Jonah got out of the driver seat, he walked up to Erin and gave her a big hug.

"It's been way too long, sis." He tried to stay in touch with his family, but with school and part-time work and Vivian, he hadn't visited since Christmas.

Erin hugged him back before looking at Vivian again.

"Oh, this is my wonderful girlfriend Vivian. Vivian, this is my sister Erin. She's okay."

She rolled her eyes and punched his arm before holding her hand out to Vivian. They shook, Erin still not quite able to read her that well.

They went inside and caught up for a few minutes before they heard their Dad pull in, too. Vivian could see Jonah's face light up.

When Ron Stevenson opened the door, he barely had time to say hello before his son ran up and gave him a big hug. He returned the hug, and looked over Jonah's shoulder to see Erin and a lady who could only have been Vivian.

There were more introductions and Ron decided that they would order pizza. They had a nice evening together, catching up as well as Vivian and Jonah's family getting to know each other. Jonah's dad warmed up to her right away, but while Erin was polite, there was something in the way she looked at Vivian that Jonah couldn't identify.

Later that evening, Erin roped Jonah into her room so they could talk in private.

"Jonah, can I ask something about Vivian?"

"That depends on what you want to ask."

"Well, there's just...something about the way you two interact. It's not like any of the couples I know at school."

Jonah took a deep breath in and out. This wasn't the scary part (okay, it was a little scary), talking to Dad would be the scary part. This was just practice.

"Well...you're sort of right. We probably don't act like any of the couples you know at school."

It suddenly hit him what he was gearing up to talk about with his sister.

"Do you...know what BDSM is?"

Erin folded her arms. "No, Jonah. I don't. I'm a naïve little 10-year-old who's never been on the internet. Of course I know what it is!"

"Hey, hey, no need to be so loud," Jonah pleaded.

She could see that her brother looked genuinely embarrassed, so she didn't push it further.

"Yes, I know about BDSM. I am 18 after all. Why are you telling me this?"

Jonah drummed his fingers on the desk next to him.

"Our relationship is...unconventional. In sex, and most other things, I take the submissive role, and she takes the dominant role."

Erin's eyes widened. She had had a few theories about what was up with him and Vivian, a cougar relationship, Jonah being a gold digger, but this was not something she was anticipating.