Life Less Lived Ch. 01

Yes, Marina had especially noticed that the attractive female redhead interviewer was practically mewing and fawning all over him, having no doubt gone weak at the knees under the charming onslaught of that beautiful, slow, warm, caring and confident smile of his. Marina further recalled that he was dressed in a smart tailored overcoat with a glimpse of a worsted suit topped off with a formal collared shirt and silk tie. Daniel had always been handsome as a casually dressed young man, now he looked absolutely amazing in his sophisticated middle years.

It was obvious to Marina that Daniel had achieved everything he'd ever desired; no doubt a beautiful wife, an expensive home — they were all expensive houses in the area being discussed in the news item. The interviewer had introduced him as a councillor. He was involved in politics, which was the main subject of his conversation all those years ago and clearly he was accustomed to, and comfortably in his element, in front of an audience.

He probably had children as well, her heart ached at that thought, and he almost certainly had beautiful children. He was smooth and sophisticated, had cultured good taste, in possession of a wonderful life and no doubt had everything he had ever wanted; while she was depressed, down-trodden and worn out; she felt old before her time.

And now, to cap it all, she had been made redundant from the corner convenience store she had worked in for the past 18 years, considered surplus to requirements and on the scrap heap even at her mundane level. Daniel, on the other hand, was apparently still in demand, a spokesman for a group defending ancient woodland from the curse of overdevelopment, a respectable and trusted member of his community. He was at the top of his game on a regional political level. How little those fawning supporters suspected how morally corrupt their hero had been in his youth.

It really wasn't fair! Part of the reason that Marina led the purposeless existence that she endured, a life that had hardly achieved anything, and was even now collapsing about her ears, could be laid directly at Daniel Medcalf's door.

***

Tracey looked at her aunt after the short news transmission ended. Marina still sat stunned, as the television moved onto other subjects. First it was droning on about the latest test tour cricket scores in which a local boy had performed well, despite the mauling dished out by the home side; now tomorrow's local weather, none of which registered with Marina.

Marina's thoughts were lost in a whirlwind of freshly vivid memories from 33 years before. The timespan that was suddenly so tangible was just a few months of her life. For a while though she had thought that she was in love and her double loss was devastating. She was raped and left pregnant without, it seems, a second thought by someone she was in a way emotionally attached to. Then to lose the baby at the very end of her pregnancy was totally heartbreaking.

Like Tracey had herself determined so recently, Marina had immediately made the decision to keep her baby, and not just because it was only one more tiny mouth to feed in addition to the eight already at home. Once she knew the baby was coming, she actually wanted it, and grew to love the tiny life growing inside her more than anything else in her life. Termination was simply not an option that was even remotely acceptable to her.

Tragically, completely out of the blue, her unborn baby died in the womb just days before the due date. This was due to complications which were explained to her by the doctor at the time but which she never completely comprehended, either then or since.

The doctor tried to explain that she was not at fault and there was nothing she could have done about it, but Marina could not be convinced. She still carried the scars both of guilt and loss through to the present day. The hospital induced her in the same way as a normal confinement, knowing all the time that she was birthing a stillborn child. It was a boy, which she had registered as Daniel Shaw, who was buried without even being baptised properly in church. Marina hadn't attended the funeral, she was still sedated in her hospital bed, ill, shocked and depressed, submerged in her own misery and unaware of anything that was going on around her.

Emotionally, Marina was devastated by her loss. As a consequence she generally avoided men and had never married or even had a date. All her life she was surrounded by her younger siblings and later their children and soon to be the first of no doubt a handful of their grandchildren, yet Marina never had a live baby of her own to cherish and now she never would. Nor did she have a husband or partner to help her through those depressing days, which would no doubt stretch into months and years until the end of her days.

For a very short period back then she had followed her father's propensity for using whatever drink was in the house to cure her sorrows, neglecting her family, and was forced to give up her jobs. She even nearly lost her family coming close to losing their home and guardianship of the children. Fortunately, her father had managed to sort himself out quickly and summoned the strength to move the family back to his Portsmouth hometown into a small council flat. He was able to get part-time work until Marina had worked through her own depression, which took her a year or so. Since then she hadn't touched a drop of spirits.

Marina now realised that she had bottled up all of that emotional pain over the years. Now those repressed feelings were bubbling to the surface and she started trembling. A faint sob escaped her lips as she closed her eyes and cast her mind back through those long-suppressed memories.

Tracey came up to her and sat beside her Aunt Marina and held her hand, frightened and puzzled by this sudden change in her aunt, who was always so reliably stable and dependable.

***

When Tracey eventually let go of her hand and left the lounge to make some more tea, Marina's thoughts tumbled around in her head. What could she do about this injustice? What action could she take? What could she do to ease the ache welling up deep in her heart?

What would she like to do? What was there that was within her limited power to do?

Well, what she would really like to do is - and this was a much easier thing to say than do - she would like to kill him. She would definitely like to kill Daniel Medcalf for what he did.

Kill Daniel for destroying her life. Kill Daniel for making her fall in love with him and using it to take advantage of her innocence for his selfish pleasures. Kill Daniel for raping her. Kill Daniel for making her pregnant. Kill Daniel for leaving her to go full-term throughout her pregnancy alone. Kill Daniel for not caring enough to find out that his own baby died a week before his birth was due. Kill Daniel because Marina had to cry her way alone all through the natural birthing even though she knew what the outcome would be.

Kill Daniel for not supporting her through the deep depression which followed. Kill Daniel for leaving her to suffer the guilt of failure alone. Kill Daniel for taking away any chance of a future relationship. Kill Daniel for killing her slowly until she had ended up as this empty unwanted shell. Yes, kill him, that would be the revenge she needed to repay Daniel.

Even killing Daniel was too good for him, she thought. He deserved to be utterly destroyed like one of those fighting dogs that morons keep that's been found guilty of attacking children.

But, she couldn't really do that now could she? Kill? She couldn't possibly kill anyone, even a deceitful creep who had so wronged her like Daniel had. No matter how angry or upset she was, revenge was an option for people accustomed to action, not a humble downtrodden little shop assistant mouse like her. Oh, she would love to do a "Wayne Bobbit" on Daniel, but that was impossible, wasn't it? No, she felt like one of those many battered wives or partners who found themselves absolutely powerless against a bigger, stronger man who wouldn't hesitate to use violence to impose his will on a woman.

Marina was under no illusions, she would have to do what she always did, swallow what little dignity she was left with and accept whatever shit was dished out to her. That did not mean that she had to be happy about it. That did not stop her thinking about the possibilities.

***

Marina's niece came into the lounge with her laptop and sat on the sofa, interrupting her aunt's thoughts. Tracey had earlier made another pot of tea, and brought it into the lounge, before she had left Marina alone with her refreshment and her thoughts.

In the privacy of her bedroom, away from the oppressive silence of her aunt's lounge, Tracey had eaten the meal Marina had cooked, while also looking up the website of the woodland preservation group on her laptop. This had links to a shaky YouTube copy of the news clip they had seen an hour or so before. This in turn led Tracey to check the local councils in the area, as there was no direct mention of Medcalf in the original woodland preservation group website. She soon found him listed under both the county councillors of West Sussex County Council and Arun District, giving his address and contact details. His residence even sounded very nice too, Underhill Grange, Lindon. Tracey looked it up on Google Maps and whistled when the beautiful ivy-covered old thatched farmhouse, with its sweeping gravel drive popped up on her screen, surrounded by parkland, fields and trees, seen over the top of a neatly-trimmed hedge. Tracey had to show Aunt Marina this. Tracey's heightened curiosity meant that she had to know more about this man and his involvement with her aunt! Perhaps, she mused, a romance had been involved!

"Your Daniel's not married," Tracey triumphantly announced to her aunt, "Well, not any more. He may still wear a wedding ring, but his wife died a couple of years ago, of cancer. Your Daniel was a European MP but didn't stand for re-election during her illness. She was a hospital doctor too, so you would have thought she would have paid more attention to her own health, wouldn't you?"

Marina raised her eyebrows and looked over at her niece, who was curled up on the sofa with her laptop balanced on the sofa arm. She tried to keep her voice flat, not to give away too much by any betrayal of eagerness, "What else does it say about him?"

"Oh, you are interested now?" teased Tracey. "So, what's the story with you and this handsome hunk then?" she probed.

"Oh, I knew him when I was about 16. I suppose he was in his early twenties at the time, a college student." Marina owned up, believing it was better to give Tracey the part of the story that was safe to talk about, it was easier than lying. She could possibly deflect Tracey's concerns and curiosity. With a forced smile she added, "We worked at the same hotel, only for about six or eight weeks, during his summer break from University. I fancied him of course. I mean everybody did, but he wasn't interested in me. He was way out of my league then. He is even more so now."

"So why do you want to know more then?" Tracey probed, her own interest not yet sated.

"Just out of interest," Marina replied as casually as she could, even though she was screaming with every fibre on the inside. Quite honestly, she just wanted to be left alone in her misery, but she also wanted to know more, know everything as much as possible. "I'd like to know how he got on after passing me by without a second look." She forced another smile for her niece's benefit.

Tracey grinned, put the laptop to one side, unwrapped her legs from under herself and padded across to kiss her aunt on the top of her head.

"He really doesn't know what he is missing, Aunt Marina," she said.

Marina smiled wanly, saying "Thanks, sweetheart", while Tracey returned to her seat and reopened her laptop.

Tracey turned her attention back to the screen and read on for a few moments before replying, "He has a couple of daughters, but the website doesn't give any names or ages. He's been a county councillor for nearly thirty years and stood for Parliament four times, but always in local seats that his party had no chance of winning." Another pause. "Lots of photos of him, he really looks good from any angle you care to mention. I'm sorry about that." She looked up and smiled at her aunt, "If you still don't fancy him, I wouldn't mind having a go at him myself, he may be old enough to be my father, but he's still gorgeous!"

One thing Aunt Marina had always been blessed with was a sense of humour and it survived even this shock to her system.

"If he didn't fancy me at 16," she retorted, managing a forced laugh, "Maybe he wouldn't go for you, either. On the other hand if he prefers older women I might still be in with a chance!"

Tracey replied by poking out her tongue and they both laughed at the incongruity of playing love rivals to someone who had only been on screen for about 90 seconds, This time Marina actually saw the humour and joined in more naturally without have to force herself. It was good having someone around her after all, and she had always loved Tracey and her youthful zest for life. She admired too, how the young womanwas coping with her pregnancy and her totally ineffectual boyfriend, who already seemed to be totally eased out of the picture. Tracey had known about the pregnancy nearly a month before she told Marina, and the boy hadn't been seen at the flat for a couple of weeks at least. Tracey didn't seem concerned at all about the lad's disappearing act. Other than the doubts she still harboured about her mother's reaction, Tracey was taking this whole process on board so much better than Marina had when it had been her turn to do so.

Later that night Marina, left to sit alone after Tracey had retired, thought about all the other information that Tracey had discovered. Apparently Medcalf was to be the main speaker at a townswomen's guild meeting, probably giving a talk about the road extension, at a village hall deep in rural West Sussex on the very next night.

Marina folded away all the dry washing ready to iron the next morning. Then she washed up the last couple of cups and thought more about "her" Daniel. Perhaps killing him wasn't possible, but she felt that she would like to try. At the very least, she could see him in the flesh while she checked out the environment in which he lived and look for possible opportunities she could exploit for her revenge.

***

Jessica had just had her second orgasm of the evening. It was her new lover's tongue that was the main contributor to this unusual reaction. She had never before had a single orgasm from oral sex so this was pretty exciting new territory for her. A day which had been disastrous until late afternoon was now turning into the most momentous night of her young life so far.

Jessica had been invited completely unexpectedly by her new friend-now-lover to warm up with a hot toddy and a very acceptable meal, immediately after the outside broadcast shoot was wrapped and sent off to the studio for broadcasting as the top story on the local evening news. The early evening hot beverage turned out to be the first of several alcoholic drinks, along with a very palatable meal and a long night of bonhomie and subtle seduction between the pair of them.

At the end of this delicious evening, it was much too far, and she had drunk far too much, for Jessica to even consider the drive home. Unfortunately, her host was unable to offer the alternative home venue for the continuation of their lively little courting games, honestly admitting to Jessica of having "someone at home". Therefore they both left their vehicles in the pub car park and caught a cab to a hotel in Brighton, one particularly recommended by the cabbie, and managed to secure a room for the remainder of the night. The porter who manned the night desk didn't flinch at the couple's lack of luggage although he did insist on payment for the room and breakfast up front by cash. No doubt he would pocket the money and have the room cleaned in the morning with no-one in charge of the books being any the wiser. If Jessica had been 'a proper newshound instead of a bit of fluff who fannied around in front of the news cameras', she reflected, she might have thought the occurrence worthwhile investigating.

In the sparsely-furnished hotel room they had hit the drinks bar hard and watched the late night screening of the local news item they had created together, while the newly-acquainted lovers canoodled on the sofa. They both declared that the interview had come out surprisingly well. The producer/director had been right beforehand, of course, the best interview was definitely saved until last. They both laughed about this, drank a toast to the eventual downfall of the developers before grabbing each other to tear off their clothes.

Jessica had enjoyed her first orgasm while still half-undressed on that lumpy sofa and now they had retired to the rather soft and saggy hotel bed for more of the same.

"Mmmm" she moaned, after that last delightfull wave of pleasure washed over and through her, she had been on the oral receiving side for long enough, time for her to dish out some of the same pleasure herself.

Jessica pulled at the shortcut, lightly-grey-haired head that was lapping away between her legs, to be greeted by an enquiring "Sweetheart?" to which Jessica replied, "My turn, come on and get your arse up here, honey".

What then? ... Well, it may have been late, but the night was still young where fresh new love was concerned...

***

Other interested people had also watched the television broadcast following the late night news.

The young goth girl, Lauren Taylor, white of face with heavy black eye make-up, switched the set on using the remote. She sat down next to her boyfriend, Mark, who even Lauren admitted was an ugly, blue-dyed spiky-haired individual with personal hygiene problems. The goth girl ignored this minor defect. Lauren felt insecure enough to imagine that she had more than enough defects of her own to worry about without concerning herself with any of his. Besides, in the last few months she had become somewhat accustomed to his general aroma; she now only protested at the state of his socks. Since she'd moved in with him she could at least do something about that, simply by taking over the task of doing his laundry.

Lauren picked up a can of diet coke from the coffee table in front of the sofa and opened it with a hiss from the ring pull and swigged a mouthful of the cold beverage. She heard the toilet flush in the bathroom and the door opening almost immediately after, heralding Tina's rejoining of the group in the lounge.

Tina was a big girl with bleached blonde hair overlying dark red roots. She stomped into the room and dropped heavily into one of the secondhand armchairs next to Lauren's end of the sofa, her massive gold earrings swinging wildly, threatening to tear off her bulbous earlobes. She reached onto the table and grabbed one of the beer cans and a large serving dish filled with potato crisps.

Lauren made herself a mental note to avoid eating any crisps, remembering that Tina clearly hadn't bothered to wash her hands after completing her ablutions. Instead, Lauren reached across and grabbed the plate of green seedless grapes that she'd purchased and put out purely for Tina's benefit. Tina had announced earlier that day that she had just started dieting. That was before the McDonalds cheeseburger and fries she'd consumed at lunchtime and the second one from the drive-in on the way back to the Brighton flat in the beat-up old van, which was all Mark could afford from his student loan after paying his half of the rent on their tiny, sparsely-furnished flat.