Long After the Fact Ch. 01

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A happy husband gets the shock of his life.
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Part 1 of the 2 part series

Updated 10/31/2022
Created 08/16/2006
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[This is the first part of a two-part story; the second part will appear tomorrow. I am very grateful to GaryAPB for reading a draft of this story and making a number of terrific suggestions.]

DISCOVERY

February 10

He would never have found out if his hard drive hadn't crashed. He would have lived the rest of his life in blissful ignorance—a happy fool. Would that have been better or worse?

It was a Friday night in February in Painesville, Ohio, and Dan Flood was working on his Fantasy League Baseball team when the computer began to act up. As a systems engineer, he knew enough to immediately back up all his files onto zip disks.

So when the computer went haywire an hour later, and nothing he could do would get it working again, he wasn't that concerned. He'd have to take it in to the computer place over in Euclid the next day for repairs, but nothing was lost.

On the other hand, he was eager to keep working on his baseball team, and frustrated not to have a computer. Then he remembered his wife's old machine, sitting untouched in the basement since she'd switched to a new laptop about six months earlier. They'd never gotten around to throwing it out. It was a slower machine, but it would do fine for his team.

Dan didn't have to ask Susan if he could use it. For one thing it was a discarded computer. For another, she was away. Susan and her sister Lynne had taken their widowed mom on a ten-day Caribbean cruise for her 60th birthday. They'd agreed not to call one another during the cruise, since ship-to-shore was so expensive. Susan had left two days earlier and wouldn't be back until next weekend.

When Dan had dusted off the old PC and booted it up, he was annoyed to find that the whole thing was password-protected. Why had Susan done that, since only he and she were ever in the house?

He tried the passwords that they normally used, things like birthdays and nicknames, without success. He almost gave up in frustration, but decided instead to think it through.

Susan had gotten this computer two and half years earlier, in May or June of 2003. Dan remembered because it was just a few weeks after her car accident. A driver swerved to avoid a six-year old who had run into the street, and the result was a terrible crash in which Susan had lost the five-month old fetus she was carrying. Worse still, after the surgery the doctors had told Susan she'd be unable to bear children in the future. She would never be a mother.

Thinking about that terrible time, Dan had a thought. They had already picked out the name Sean for their son-to-be, since ultrasound had shown he would be a boy. Dan tried a couple of password combinations with Sean in them; the third one, "Sean03", unlocked the files.

Dan had intended just to trash all the documents, leaving plenty of room for his baseball statistics, but a file on the desktop made him stop. It was labeled "Teddy".

Dan didn't know that Susan knew a Teddy, though the assistant principal at the school where Susan taught fifth grade was named Theodore O'Neill. He was a tall, pleasant-looking guy with sandy hair, maybe about five years younger than Susan and Dan, who were both 36.

The "Teddy" folder was full of email messages between Susan and a "Teddy19@aol.com". Curious, Dan clicked on one to open it. In that moment his life changed dramatically.

*****

July 23, 2003

Baby—

God, you were amazing today—I've never cum so hard in my whole life! You just turned me inside out.

I'm not sure I can get away Thursday, because Dan might be coming home from work early. I'll write you tomorrow to see if we can be together Friday.

I can hardly wait!

xxoo

Susan

*****

Dan sat frozen, staring at the screen. There was no possible way the message could mean anything other than what it seemed to mean. His wife had fucked another man—had been regularly fucking another man, in fact.

He wasn't sure he was even thinking. He may just have been sitting. He heard the kitchen clock's tick echo through the quiet house, heard the whoosh of a car's tires passing outside. Fragmentary images of his wife swirled through his mind: Susan's loving kiss before she left for the cruise; the way she shook her fist at him when she was jokingly pretending to be angry; her gasps when she orgasmed during sex; her sad, devastated face in the hospital when he went in to see her after surgery, both of them knowing they'd never have children.

He knew he should be angry, but he wasn't there yet. The shock was too great, and despite the very clear evidence in front of him on the screen Dan knew he just didn't believe it yet.

All thoughts of baseball long gone, he eventually roused himself and began to look through the file of email messages. It never once even occurred to him that he already knew enough, that he could have spared himself further pain.

He began by going to the end. The last email he found was from Susan to Teddy19 in early September 2003.

*****

September 8

Teddy:

I meant it when I said we had to stop. You knew this couldn't continue, you knew I love Dan and I don't want to lose him.

Please, baby, don't make this harder for me than it already is. Every time I see you in the hall--- Just please, please, let me do what I have to do!

If you can't let go, if we can't be professional about it, then I'll just have to move to another school. Teddy, if you care for me, let it be over—please accept it.

Susan

*****

Going back chronologically, Dan found a flurry of messages back and forth at the end of August. Susan was determined to break off the affair, and Teddy—who clearly was Theodore O'Neill, the assistant principal—was trying to keep her involved in it. He said he adored her, couldn't imagine his life without their private time together, etc. But while Susan wasn't sick of Teddy, she was firm about ending it. She was worried about her marriage—not only about Dan finding out but about the strains that had arisen between them.

Still numb, still reeling, Dan thought back to the summer of 2003. How could he have been so fucking clueless?

It had been a terrible time. Susan's accident cost them not only what would have been their first-born child but any chance of having a family. He had brought up adoption, but Susan had just been too shattered to consider it. Dan desperately wanted a family, and he wanted to keep talking about it, but he understood that Susan just couldn't face the reality yet, that she would never bear her own kids.

She'd been distant, withdrawn, and deeply depressed for weeks, through June and into the summer vacation. All of Dan's kindness and affection and patience she'd received with a kind of weary acceptance. She was never angry or unkind; it was more as though she were experiencing life—or at least her connection with her husband---through a kind of screen.

After several weeks Dan was nearly at the end of his rope. He wondered whether he and Susan should simply divorce—it wasn't something he wanted, but there didn't seem to be any marriage left, or really any relationship at all.

He took a long walk one afternoon, trying to figure out what to do. What kept coming into his mind were his wedding vows, especially "for better and for worse" and "in sickness and in health". And he realized that he couldn't simply end his marriage, not at a time when Susan was in such desperate straits. He owed her more than that. He would keep trying to reach her, until there was simply no hope left.

In early July, a deeply worried Dan enlisted the help of Susan's doctor to talk her into starting therapy. Her work with Dr. Branden had gradually helped bring her out of her depression. Dan vividly remembered the day that had always seemed like the turning point.

On a Tuesday in the last week of August Susan had surprised him by cooking an extra-fancy dinner. Afterwards they sat on the couch and she held his hand.

"Honey, I've put you through hell this summer, and I'm so sorry."

He started to protest, but she silenced him. "No, Dan, it's true. I didn't do it on purpose. But I was just so . . . so sad about the baby. And you were trying so hard to reach out to me, to comfort me, and I was just keeping you at a distance.

"Dr. Branden has helped me see things so much more clearly. She called it clinical depression. I never gave you the chance to grieve with me, for us to grieve together. I didn't mean to, but I shut you out, and each of us suffered through this alone.

"I want to come back to you. I want to be totally your wife again; I want us to talk about everything, and deal with everything in our lives together.

"I love you so much, Dan," she concluded, tenderly, and he pulled her into a long embrace.

They went straight to bed together and made love slowly and sweetly. Their sex life had dwindled almost to nothing in the time since the accident—Dan guessed they hadn't had sex more than four times in the three preceding months—but after that the passion returned with a vengeance.

For a few weeks Susan was energetic and eager, dragging Dan into bed at least 4-5 times a week, being as exciting and giving a lover as she had been during their courtship and honeymoon. During the course of the fall, it had gradually subsided a bit. But even now, Dan reflected that their sexual relationship and the rest of their marriage over the past two years had been terrific.

He knew that Susan loved him, and that she wanted their marriage as much as he did. Until opening those fucking emails he had had no reason whatever to doubt her affection or her fidelity.

Reconstructing his memories of that time, and putting them together with her emails, Dan began to see how the pieces fit together. Susan had somehow begun the affair in the summer of 2003—clearly by July it was in full swing. She'd started seeing Dr. Branden, and perhaps that had helped her decide to end the affair and recommit herself to her marriage.

Whatever the impetus, she must have told Teddy it was over sometime in late August, then come to Dan, apologized for her distance from him (without confessing to the affair, of course!), and fucked his brains out for a few weeks.

From the emails it appeared she'd held Teddy off after that—at least, there was no evidence their affair had continued. Susan had turned herself back into a faithful and loving wife. And Dan had to admit that she'd succeeded. Until fifteen minutes earlier he would have described himself as the happiest of husbands. The only trouble was that all the time since that August day had been a lie.

***************

Dan got up and fetched a beer, which he drank standing up in the kitchen, staring out into the dark backyard. He had no earthly idea what to do next.

After a few minutes, he realized that he wanted to know everything—every last fucking detail. He went back to the computer and systematically read all the lovers' messages to each other, from June through September.

It had started with consolation, then flirtation. Teddy, who was single, happened to find Susan crying in the teachers' lounge, and comforted her. People already knew she had lost the baby, but she told him the rest: that she could never have children.

He took her to lunch and was a supportive, caring friend. It developed from there: regular lunches, long talks. She found she could open up to him about her sorrow, even when she couldn't talk to Dan about it.

Once school let out the lunches began to include long walks in a beautiful, quiet park outside town. One day Teddy kissed her, and they necked for a while on a park bench. Horrified by what they'd done, she avoided him for a few days. He promised to behave, and the lunches and walks resumed.

On June 28 he invited her to his apartment for lunch and "to give him advice about decorating". They had a bottle of wine, and he offered to rub her back. From there it wasn't hard to get her into his bed, and they fucked for the first time.

*****

June 28

Dear Teddy:

I don't know how that happened today, but it can never happen again. You have been a wonderful, supportive friend to me, but I never intended to cheat on my husband. What we did was wrong.

I think we should stop seeing each other. In the fall we can return to our old professional relationship.

Susan

*****

Teddy was smooth. He wrote an apologetic reply, then waited a few days. He asked her to lunch again, promising it would be purely a friendly meal together. They had a couple more lunches, then a picnic in the park. They drank a lot of wine but he didn't push her—probably hoping to get her to trust him again.

But the week after that she again went to his apartment to talk about decorating, and once again they fell into bed.

*****

July 11

Teddy:

We can't, we can't. Oh my God, we can't. You make me feel so good, so loved. It is so exciting being with you! But we have to stop.

Please, help me! We have to stop.

Susan

*****

After that, she pretty much gave up any pretense that it was a one-time thing. Between July 11 and the 23rd, the day of the first email Dan had read, they seem to have fucked several times, meeting at his apartment. On one night she knew Dan was working late, she and Teddy were together from 11am until 9pm, and he fucked her four times.

Susan's messages lost any tone of hesitancy. She loved the sex she was getting, and each message spoke of looking forward to the next time. It wasn't until early August, about four weeks into her therapy with Dr Branden, that she started talking about breaking it off.

*****

August 5

Baby:

It's like a drug, I just can't get enough of you! But we have to stop. We HAVE to stop; my therapist is helping me see that I could lose everything. My husband, my marriage, even my job at the school. If ANYONE found out about us!

Help me be strong. Once more, Friday, and that's it. I'm going to devour every little bit of you then, so be ready. And then we're done.

Love, Susan

*****

Of course, that Friday was not the end of it. There were a couple more weeks of attempts by Susan to end the affair, where she spoke more and more openly of her feelings of guilt, and efforts by Teddy to keep it going. They were together about five more times before she finally broke it off. In fact their last romp in Teddy's bed was August 24, just two days before she arranged that lovely little "let's rekindle our marriage" evening with Dan, the unsuspecting cuckold husband!

Dan sat back, his numbness gradually giving way to the anger he knew was coming. He was shocked to see it was nearly 2:30 a.m.

He grabbed his heavy coat, hat and gloves and plunged out into the winter night, barely aware of the icy wind whipping down from Lake Erie a few miles away. He walked as fast as he could, feeling his heart pump harder and seeing his frosty breath in front of him.

He actually didn't think much—he seethed. All he could focus on was the bottomless pit he had fallen into; his happy marriage an utter lie, his wife someone he didn't know.

He walked until he was exhausted and shivering, then went straight to bed. It was 4:15 am.

***************

The next day was even worse, if that's possible. Dan had all day to contemplate what Susan had done, to wallow in feelings of fury and self-pity, and to consider what he wanted to do about it. That day and the next, Sunday, he somehow got through his life. He took his computer to be fixed; he did the grocery shopping; he cleaned up the house. He took a lot of walks, and did a lot of thinking.

Dan found his mind turning again and again to the August day two years earlier, when Susan had "returned" to him. Yes, she'd apologized; yes, she'd told him she loved him; yes, she'd rededicated herself to him and to their marriage. And yes, she'd made him very happy ever since then.

But had she told him the truth? Had she confessed her affair, and told him how sorry she was for cheating on him? Hell no! Dan realized that everything that had happened that day, that day in August that had meant so much to him—it was all bullshit. She'd looked into his eyes, she'd kissed him and held him and made love with him—and she'd never told him about Teddy.

Dan was cold with rage—and determined that he'd make Susan see just how bad it feels when someone you love betrays you.

During the afternoon it suddenly occurred to him that Teddy might not have been her only affair. The idea just increased his torment. He spent several hours carefully searching the house: Susan's drawers, her old pocket-books, places in the attic and the basement where she might have stashed mementos or secrets. But he found nothing.

He booted up her laptop and checked it thoroughly. There was no password, and he could easily access all her files; but he found nothing at all incriminating or even worrying. Dan reluctantly concluded that she'd had no other affairs since the one with Teddy. He wondered why that didn't make him feel even a little bit better.

On Monday Dan went to work and pretended to concentrate—probably managing about 30%. The next day was better, and so was the next. He wasn't any less angry or miserable, but his concentration was up to maybe 75%, most of the time, and his plans were gradually coming together.

His first instinct had been to leave—simply to disappear, without a word. Quit his job, take a cruise, move to Los Angeles or New Zealand. Let Susan wonder for the rest of her life where her loving husband had gone!

Then he realized that he really wanted to know how it would play out. He wanted to know how Susan would react, what she'd do. Would she try to find him? Would she simply file for divorce and move on? Would she fall back into bed with Teddy, even though he was also married now?

So he decided to bug the house: wireless recorders in all the rooms and a tap on the phone lines. He knew it was practically a cliché, but he wanted to hear her. He wanted to see what she'd do; and he wanted to hear her suffer.

Then he started to think the whole idea was pathetic. The cheated husband, skulking around in the bushes to see what his wife was up to! How could he act like such a loser? Better just to leave town and make a new life somewhere else.

Finally, his thinking began to clarify. It didn't matter how it looked to anyone else—all that mattered was how he felt and what he wanted. Fuck what other people might think! What he wanted was to vanish—and to be around and watch Susan deal with it. He'd had his fucking heart ripped out, now it would be her turn!

On Friday Dan made an appointment to see Sam Evans, his immediate boss and his best friend. They'd joined the company together more than a decade earlier, and remained friends as they rose through the ranks. Dan had no resentment about working for Sam: he recognized that his friend was a better manager, just as Sam knew that Dan was a superior engineer.

When Sam heard the story, and heard that Dan planned to quit, there was a long silence. Then they discussed it for more than hour, Sam pointing out all the good reasons why leaving a great job made no sense. He didn't want to lose his best friend or his best employee, and he didn't want Dan to do something irrevocable while in the middle of an emotional hurricane.

Finally Sam made a counterproposal that Dan could live with. It would be announced that Dan was leaving, but he would secretly be issued a letter from Sam giving him an unpaid leave from the company, with full rights to return to his position for up to one year. Only one other person would know: Sam's boss, and Sam was sure he would get Anthony's OK without difficulty.

That afternoon Dan told a few shocked colleagues of his departure—he'd waited until Friday on purpose to avoid any sentimental farewell parties. During lunch hour he had taken care of several banking chores. On Saturday Dan got up early and finished his preparations—he would be gone before Susan returned that evening.

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