Long Distance Love Ch. 04

It had been a few days since the hummer incident and she was really becoming concerned that she was losing her mind. What in the hell was wrong with her? 'Normal people don't masturbate in their car, normal people don't masturbate at all' she kept telling herself almost in a sing song voice. However, each day she found herself wanting, no needing to climax to convince herself she was still alive. She hadn't had the courage to tell her fantasy lover that she was going to meet him but she hadn't told him she wouldn't, either.

The phone rang very early, she knew it was him. Her heart quickened and her body responded instantly but she found herself unable to pick up the phone. Instead, as it rang in the background she pushed the covers from her body and walked to the full length mirror by the closet. She looked healthy enough to be young, passionate, vivacious and with her yellow smiley face panties and old t-shirt she was almost convinced that she was. But as she stared at her reflection she pulled the shirt from her body, she wanted to look away, but if she couldn't look at herself how could she expect him to? She pulled the panties down slowly watching the smiley face turn inside out in the mirror. She stood slowly, sweeping her eyes across her reflection from head to toe, not pausing to see clear, just rapid glances that allowed her body to remain blurred. Closing her eyes she imagined standing before her lover as she was before, as he imagined her to be, radiant ivory skin speckled with freckles, with long lush spirals of auburn hair to her bottom. She saw him gazing at her, eyes darkened with desire as he undressed and came to her. He kissed her with raw passion, his tongue dancing furiously with hers like two snake lovers in a cauldron of warm honey. He wrapped his arms around her, lifting her from the floor and pressing her back against the wall. She wrapped her body around him, every inch on fire, her thighs twitching, the flames flared through her as he pressed his cock against the warm lips of her sex. Moving his hips he slid along her moist slit until his head was pressed against her opening. They sighed as he thrust his length into her and began withdrawing nearly all the way before rocking it back in. As their desire mounted so did their speed and he was fucking her hard. She clung to him as their tongues sparred, shifting her hips so she could take every inch of him as he slammed her against the wall until she screamed with release. This wasn't about soft kisses and sweet morning love this was about her getting fucked and that didn't jib with memories of her lover. Maybe there was something wrong with her; proper women didn't want to be fucked.

She opened her eyes slowly and in the morning light she saw clearly the roadmap of scars that covered her body. The scenario changed to reality as she imagined how their true meeting would be. The surprise that would show on his face as she no longer resembled the picture he knew. The disgust he would feel at seeing her truth. The pity he would feel and the sympathy fuck she would get. So not worth hurting the only man who had ever truly loved her.

She closed her eyes again and imagined her husband standing there. He knew where every scar was, each piecing of her flesh and loved her. He saw the changes in her and loved her regardless. How could she expect the same from a stranger? Especially given the fact that she had never told her lover anything about her illness; their conversations were reserved for music and passion not scars and sadness.

She wept with pure frustration, her hand moving slowly to her throbbing need, passing all the bad things and going directly to the spot that made her feel. There was no denying the moisture between her lips or the swell of her jewel as she polished it; nor the rise of her breast as she sobbed, the tears spilling down her body. She needed something and not knowing what it was slowly destroying her.

When her husband came home he found her in their bed wrapped tightly in the sheets; her bare arms clutching the smooth cotton to her bare flesh; her face soft while she slept and beautiful in the waning light. He lay beside her and she rolled to him shedding some of the sheet as he gathered her in his arms. He knew she was struggling, knew she was searching for something and didn't know how to help so he just cradled her there against his chest content to feel her breathing. She woke sometime later, the room dark her cheek resting on his chest; he looked down as he felt her stir.

"Hi, sweetness, nice nap?" He whispered. She didn't respond but rose up on her elbow and leaned into him her lips brushing his softly. She met his eyes and he saw that look his body responding instantly.

"Are you sure, baby?" he whispered. Again she didn't reply but leaned in and pressed another kiss against his mouth more firmly, her tongue seeking his. He breathed deeply of her as they kissed, he could never get enough of her, yet he pulled himself back not sure that she was truly ready. No words were spoken as she sat up and began to unbutton his shirt. She knew he would make love to her... soft sweet love... and for the moment that's what she wanted more than anything. But, oh, to feel him thrusting into her....