Lord, What Fools... Ch. 02

We soaped, we rubbed, we played, we got excited as hell. I stood behind her and allowed my cock to slide through the cheeks of her ass and down along her pussy. Jeez, it was like butter. Almost without trying the head of my cock entered her. I leaned back against the wall of the shower and just allowed her to move herself gently up and down on my phallus. It was very, very nice. I would recommend it to anyone.

We decided that it was time to wash and dry off. We used the huge fluffy towels and almost ran back and jumped into the bed.

Kathy kneeled over me and whispered, "Paul, I want to sit on you."

"Your slightest wish is.... etc. etc." I smiled.

Looking into my eyes she moved her leg over me and sat on my stomach. I could feel the heat from her groin as well as the moisture. She lifted herself up slightly and moved over my now very erect cock. Grasping it by the base, she lowered herself on me. I felt the head slowly spread her labia and then enter that sweet, dark passage.

Kathy placed her hands on my shoulders and worked her hips up and down slowly, allowing my phallus to slide into and out of her in time to a tempo she wanted. Sometimes I thought that it would come completely out of her, but she would stop in time with just the head nestled between her nether lips.

She suddenly sat straight up and started to move quickly up and down. Leaning back, she grasped my thighs and ground up and down on me rapidly, then slowed and stopped. She sat there and smiled at me wickedly.

"Mr. Big feels so damn good, Paul," she said faintly.

"You keep calling him that, you'll give me a big head," I joked, not realizing that I had made a pun. Ok, a bad one, but a pun nevertheless. Hey, I felt great. 'Mr. Big' was doing his job, and I had control.

Kathy then just held me by the waist and started jamming her pelvis up and down on me. There was now a look of concentration on her face and I could see the sweat beading on her face and her breasts. I felt my cock sliding rapidly in and out of her and I recognized that I wouldn't be long able to maintain control of my passion.

I grasped her hips and held on. I soon felt the pressure building in my balls and looked up at Kathy in anticipation. She had her eyes closed and was moaning almost continuously. She suddenly clamped down on me and I could see her mouth in what appeared to be a rictus of agony, but the agony was of intense ecstacy . That put me over the top and I exploded with her still clamped firmly on me.

Kathy collapsed on me and just lay there, trying to recover her breath and her senses.

"Damn," she whispered. "That was so fantastic. I don't think I ever had orgasms as intense as you have given me. Are you some kind of sex genius?" she asked breathlessly.

Son- of -a- bitch, this woman made me feel like Superman. I believe at that moment I actually thought that I could leap tall buildings in a single bound. I suddenly felt a wave of affection for this glorious creature who made me feel more alive than I had in months, or longer.

****************

So began a relatively tranquil period after what had been a rather tumultuous time in my life. Kathy and I formed a close and co-dependent relationship. We saw each other frequently and most weekends found us spending the night in either her or my apartment. She was comfortable and totally undemanding. Sure, the sex was phenomenal, but the times we spent just talking were like a tonic for me. It was during this time that I learned to relax and bury the angst of the end of my marriage.

I also maintained a close relationship with Terry Oldham, my lawyer and my friend. We would meet at least once a week for a drink after work. He quickly got the message that I really didn't want to know anything concerning Emily. The bitterness still simmered below the surface and I didn't want to stir up that kettle of fish.

Then, when I expected it least, fate threw me a curve ball. Kathy and I were relaxing in her living room over a glass of wine when she turned to me.....

"Paul," she began tentatively. "I've got something I have to tell you."

I sudden chill ran down my back. Why did I feel that bad news was coming? Was it because things were going too well right now? I just stared at her.

She took a deep breath and let it out. "Honey, I have been offered the position of chief administrator of a hospital on the west coast. After giving it a hell of a lot of thought, I accepted the offer."

It was as though I had received a blow to the solar plexus. I just sat there, unbelieving. I didn't know how to react, I was stunned.

I just blurted it out, "Kathy, don't go. Let's get married."

Where the hell did that come from? The thought of marrying Kathy was something that had never entered my mind. Of course, the thought of losing her had also never entered my mind.

Kathy had moved over to me and stroked my cheek.

"Dear, sweet Paul. I truly do care for you. You have become such a dear friend and I truly value our time together, but I won't marry you. And there are two very good reasons for that decision."

She held my eyes with hers and I saw that they were shining with unshed tears.

"First, I do not love you and you don't really love me. We are friends with benefits, as they say. That's not to minimize my feelings for you. In some ways, I feel closer to you than to anyone who has ever entered my life, except perhaps my parents.

"The second reason," she continued, "is the fact that you're still very much in love with your ex-wife." She let out a little chuckle at my shocked expression.

"No, Paul. Don't even try to deny that. You may not know it, but you talk in your sleep. No long discourses, but enough to make me realize that your heart will always belong to her."

I just sat there with my mouth open like a total idiot. At that moment I just didn't know how to respond. I didn't know what to say to her. I just reached for her and held her in my arms. I think that we both shed a few tears that evening. I knew that what she was doing was the right thing for her. It was a move up the ladder in her profession, something that I wouldn't interfere with.

Would I miss her, you bet your ass I would miss her. She grounded me, she nurtured me, she saved me from drowning in a sea of remorse and depression. I would think of her often in the years ahead.

******************

Over the next few weeks I kept hearing what Kathy had said to me. "your heart will always belong to her." Shit, I hadn't thought of Emily in months. Yeah, and if you believe that then I have a tropical resort in Greenland I can let you have cheap.

I knew that I still loved Emily, but I was on the horns of a true dilemma: I wanted Emily back, but I just couldn't forget or forgive her adultery. I was torn between those two poles. I couldn't get past her cheating. What did I do to deserve that kind of betrayal? How long had that affair gone on? How many months, or was it longer?

Why did she cheat? I know that we had virtually stopped all sexual contact. Was that the reason? Did she lose control of her need for physical contact? I just couldn't believe that. Did she actually love that asshole? I didn't believe that either. Shit, I didn't know what to believe.

A few weeks later I was sitting at a table, having a drink with Terry Oldham, a usual occurrence. We were yakking about the upcoming elections, casting aspersions on both candidates.

I cleared my throat. "Terry, I...... uhhhh, I......hmmmm." I fixed my gaze on a spot over his right shoulder.

I started again. "Terry, How........, that is....... errrrr, I mean...." Terry had a small smile on his face. "Emily is ok, Paul. She's doing ok."

"Oh...... good, I mean....... that's good." I realized that my head was moving up and down like a fucking bobblehead doll you see in the rear window of cars.

"You know that she sold the house and moved?" he asked.

"Moved? Moved? Why did she do that?"

"Well, she told Julie that the house was just too big and too empty for just one person. She wanted to give half the proceeds to you, but I told her that the house was hers in the final settlement. She bought a condo close to her work."

I just stared at him. "Work? What work? Why is she working? Why does she have to work? I didn't want her to have to go back to work" I recognized that I was now babbling.

"She didn't have to go to work, Paul. She went back to school and got her BS degree in nursing. She is now a hospice nurse. She feels she's making a difference; she's doing something worthwhile with her life."

I sat silently for a moment, digesting this information. I then asked Terry how he knew all this. Was he keeping in touch with Emily?

"Julie and Emily have become very close, Paul. They're almost like sisters now. They have great affection for each other. Julie keeps me informed. I guess you also didn't know that Emily has undergone counseling. She felt that she was to blame, at least in part, for driving you to cheat." Terry was now looking at me very intently.

It took a few seconds for that to penetrate. What Terry just said was so outrageous that I just sat and stared at him with my mouth open.

"Me, me???? Me cheat??............" I sputtered. Spittle was flying from my mouth. That statement was so not true that I couldn't form a coherent sentence. I felt my face flushing and I knew that my pressure was up again.

Terry had put his hands up to try to shut me up. "Easy Paul, just take it easy. Calm down now. Don't try to say anything."

Terry's face had a look of compassion, mingled with not a small amount of impatience.

He continued....."Paul, it's time now that you and Emily have a frank and honest discussion. There's a lot here that doesn't make sense and you two have got to get to the bottom of it. Personally, I think that you're both idiots and I also believe that what has happened to the both of you is something that has grown out of a kernel of misinformation and resulted in the destruction of your marriage.

"Listen to me, Paul. It's now over two years since you two have split; can you truthfully tell me that you've been happy? Don't even try to answer that. I know the answer. You have got to go and see Emily."

"Emily actually thought that I had cheated?" I asked increduously. I still couldn't get my head around that fact. I was still dazed.

"Paul, did you hear what I just said? You're not stupid. You have to pick your ass up and meet with Emily. It's time, in fact it's way past time."

I just sat, my mind awhirl with unanswered questions and raw emotion. I looked at Terry. Was I actually considering his suggestion? Could I do as he suggested?

"I'm not sure that she'll even see me, Terry. Our parting wasn't exactly pleasant. "

"Leave it to me," he answered quickly. "I'll get back to you in a couple of days at the most. Just leave it in my hands."

I shook my head, still a bit dazed and totally confused. What the hell was happening? Why did Emily think that I had cheated? Was this a ploy to excuse her own infidelity? I didn't think so. One thing I did know, Emily was never devious. I would just have to wait.

Terry called me the next day. "Paul, Emily asked if you would come to dinner tonight?"

I panicked, whoa...... too quick..... dinner?..... too intimate, whoa, take a breath. "Terry, not for dinner, I'll come for coffee, tomorrow. Tomorrow is Saturday. Is she off tomorrow? I'll come for coffee around 10 in the morning if she's free."

Early morning is not romantic. It's more businesslike.

"I'll ask and get right back to you." He did and gave me Emily's address and directions. I found that my palms were sweating. The rest of this day was going to be a waste, I knew that, so I took off early and went home. I would have to gird my loins for tomorrow. Hmmm, scotch was a good "girder".

I rapped on Emily's door at exactly 10 a.m. the next morning. I made sure that I would not be early or late. I wanted to keep this friendly and not too personal. Don't ask me why, at this point I wasn't too sure if the sun rose in the east.

The door opened and there stood Emily. Goddamn, she looked great. I saw that she had lost some weight. She had also had her hair cut shorter. I did notice that she appeared a bit wan and drawn, but that could have been my imagination.

"Hello, Paul. It's nice to see you, please come in." Emily said in a calm and controlled voice.

I felt this insane desire to grab her and hold her in my arms. I got a hold of myself and thanked her and told her that she looked well. You know, like meeting an acquaintance I hadn't seen in awhile. Was I cool, or what?

Emily poured coffee while we made small talk. You know, how have things been, what are you doing now, crap to just fill the silence. We both could feel the tension.

I coughed a bit. "Emily, I......that is, Terry thought......" Shit, I couldn't even begin. This was just too difficult.

"Paul," Emily interrupted. "Please, let me. I want to apologize to you. I learned quite a bit about myself over these past few months, and I've come to realize that my behavior to you had been reprehensible the last year or so before you.... left. There is no doubt in my mind that, at least in part, was what caused you to look elsewhere, to begin an affair."

Son-of-a- bitch, there it was again. Why was everyone convinced that I cheated? I had to get this cleared up quickly.

"Emily, I don't want to start an argument now, but tell me exactly what caused you to believe that I cheated on you," I asked.

Emily sat and looked at me. I saw her lips compress and I knew that she was getting pissed. Well, I guess this meeting was not going to go as we both wished. She then took a deep breath, composed herself and continued.

"Ok, Paul. You want chapter and verse. To begin with, many times you would come home from your so called poker nights, reeking of perfume. I don't think that any of your poker pals wore that label. That caused me to begin to become suspicious."

Perfume?? Perfume?? I tried to think back. Shit, of course. We would almost gag whenever Wendy would wait on us. We used to joke that she must bathe in that stuff. I didn't realize that I still smelled of it when I returned home.

I explained this to Emily and she was taken aback a bit. She never thought that there would be such a simple explanation. I told her that she could call any of the guys, that they would verify that what I told her was the truth.

She just shook her head and murmured, "I believe you, Paul. I should have discussed that with you at the time." She bit her lip in what I thought was embarrassment.

"Can you explain the lipstick smudge on your neck when you came home from your poker game a week before Christmas?"

Lipstick smudge? That threw me for a second. "Wait, I remember," I exclaimed. "The guys had chipped in and had given a nice tip to the gals who had been our waitresses. One of them had given me a peck on the cheek. I had thought that I had wiped that off. That happens to be the truth, Emily."

Emily now seemed visibly shaken. Then she straightened and looked me in the eye. "What about the condoms in your car, Paul. If you remember that Tuesday when I was due at the women's meeting and my car wouldn't start. I asked to use yours? There was a bag on the passenger seat and in it was a box of condoms. We hadn't used condoms in ages, Paul," she said accusingly.

Condoms? Why would I........ "Shit," I blurted out. "Emily, those were for Tim Shukay. On Tuesday I mentioned that I had to stop by the drugstore to pick up a prescription for you. He asked if I would pick up a dozen condoms for him. He would get it from me at our poker grame.

"Emily, would I be stupid enough to buy condoms and then just leave them lying in my car if I were having an affair?" I concluded softly.

Emily was by now noticably flustered and agitated. She shook her head, it was obvious that she didn't know what to think. I had answered all of her suspicions. She then rose from her seat, went into her bedroom, at least I assumed it was her bedroom, and returned with a sheet of paper which she handed to me.

The paper had a printed heading: Able Investigations, with an address and telephone numbers. In three or four paragraphs it stated that a Dan Able had followed me to the Marriott hotel in town, observed me meeting a woman in the lobby and had followed us to a room on the 4th floor where we spend two hours.

I sat there stunned, this was a total crock of shit - this never happened. I then had a brainstorm.

"Emily, can I use your phone?" I asked.

She nodded, keeping her eyes fixed on me.

I quickly found the number I wanted and called, praying that she would be in. My call was answered on the second ring. I asked if June Meyers was in and was transferred. I breathed a sigh of relief.

"Ms. Meyers, this is Paul Rieger. I'm not sure if you remember me."

"Of course, Mr. Rieger, I remember you quite well. How are you?" She queried.

"Fine, thank you. I would like to ask you if you have ever heard of an Able Investigations and a guy named Dan Able?"

There was a pause. "Mr. Rieger, that man was an embarrassment to my whole profession. He is dishonest, venal and totally undependable. He has recently had his license revoked and cannot operate in this state any longer. I would caution you to take anything he tells you with a very large grain of salt."

"Thank you, Ms. Meyers. Would you please repeat that to someone that I'd like to put on the phone now," I asked.

I motioned Emily over and gave her the phone. "Em, I think that you should hear this."

She stood and listened and I could see her face turn very pale. She began to tremble as she murmered a thank you and put the phone down.

Emily turned to me, tears now streaming down her face. "Paul, I just can't believe how stupid I was. I'll never be able to forgive myself. Not only in not having faith in you, but in not doing what you had asked. I should have confronted you and we would have cleared up this mess without the heartache that I caused."

She threw herself on the sofa, pale with tears running down her cheeks. At that moment I wanted to comfort her, but old fears do not die quickly. I didn't know how she would react to my touch. I also wasn't too sure that I really wanted to comfort her.

I went into the kitchen and brought her a glass of water which I urged on her. She composed herself and took a small swallow.

Emily looked at me. "You never cheated, did you Paul." That was more of a statement then a question.

"Never, Em. I could never do that to you."

"Oh, my God. But I did, I screwed Jason to get even. I wanted to hurt you as I imagined you hurt me. " she whimpered.

I had to ask. "How often did you meet him, Em?"

"Twice Paul, only twice over two weeks. I never enjoyed it, it disgusted me and I ended it after the second time we met. I just wanted to get even with you. Oh, how stupid, how idiotic." she castigated herself.

Well, considering the misinformation she had accumulated and the fact that she wouldn't confront me with it, I could see how she would have come to the conclusion she did. Could I actually forgive her? I had always thought that this was something that I could never forget nor forgive. But, considering the facts, could I get over this?

"Emily," I began cautiously, "A lot of bitterness has passed between us. I'm not sure if there is anything left worth salvaging, but I think that we could at least still become friends again. Who knows what the future may bring.."

"Paul, I would really like to try," Emily said softly.

*******************

So that's the story. I'd like to say that we fell into each others arms and vowed our eternal love. Unfortunately, real life doesn't work that way. Emily and I took the beginning steps toward a reconciliation. Will we get together again? Who knows, I sure don't. Right now we're like people meeting for the first time. Emily has changed, as have I, I imagine. At least now we're open with each other. I'd like to believe that perhaps some day we'll be together again. But again, who knows, maybe that's not in the cards.