Love Free or Die

Chapter 1

"You better get goin'. You've got your appointment in twenty minutes," Kelli told him.

"Yeah. You're right. I'll give the driver a call," Kirk said absent-mindedly.

"Your own driver. Have you gotten used to that yet? I mean, what's that like, Kirk?" his older sister asked.

Kirk was already on the phone giving instructions to be downstairs waiting for him in two minutes. He ended the call then gazed out the huge picture window overlooking Puget Sound from his new home in Gig Harbor. "Unsettling," Kirk replied.

"How so?" Kelli inquired. "How can having $15 million left over after buying a $7 million house be 'unsettling' if you don't mind me asking?"


Kirk noticed the limo pull into the large semi-circle driveway and headed for the door. "It's just...I don't know, really. I mean, other than you, I'm not sure whom I trust. It's hard to know who's really interested in me for—me—and who's interested in me for $15 million other reasons. After losing Anne, I also wonder if any woman will ever love me like that again."

Kirk was turning to leave when Kelli said, "Hey, listen. You'll find someone else. There's another woman as loving and giving as Anne was. All you have to do is not give up and just keep looking. Stay on those dating web sites and don't quit. You'll find her. I promise."

Kirk didn't respond. He loved his sister who'd grown up to be his best friend outside of his late wife, but he'd been looking on those match kind of sites for six months and not one woman appealed to him. Since Anne passed away 18 months ago from a very aggressive form of breast cancer that had taken her life in just three months from diagnosis, Kelli had been by his side every step of the way. Both of their parents were now gone, and while they'd always been close, this last year and a half had brought them to a whole new level in their relationship. He was truly grateful to have someone like her in his life but she was a sibling and what he wanted more than anything was to love again like he'd loved with Anne. That was the motivation behind buying the home he now lived in. It was too big for just one person and as much as he loved having Kelli around, his real hope was to find someone to share it with.

Kirk trusted Kelli explicitly and implicitly and she him. So when one of the three lottery tickets he'd bought on a whim turned out to a winner to the tune of nearly $50 million in pre-tax dollars, he never once questioned Kelli's motives or intentions. Anne's medical bills had left him in deeply in debt and her loss left him unable to work. The sale of his accounting firm allowed him to pay off all of his debts and keep paying the monthly bills. If he was careful, it just might last him the rest of his life, but it definitely wasn't enough to support a wife on. But at that time, getting married again was the last thing on his mind. Anne had been everything to him and the thought of even dating someone else made him sick to his stomach. It was a full year before he could even consider dating again.

Kelli had gotten by on the money she made working as receptionist in a doctor's office while she lived alone in a crappy little apartment on Queen Ann Hill. His sister had finally gotten the nerve to end her seven-year marriage to the abusive, alcoholic SOB her ex-husband had become. That was the good news. The bad news was that she was living by herself in a dicey neighborhood and in near poverty. In a word, they needed each other even though both of them knew they wanted to love again and eventually even get re-married. In the meantime, it just made sense for her to live with Kirk.

It was equally important to her that she keep working and earn her own money even though she knew she had a limitless safety net in the form of Kirk's winnings. But one thing she would never do was ask him for money. Not one dime. Then again, she didn't need to ask as Kirk was always paying for anything and everything she even mentioned. Because of that, she's long ago stopped saying anything at all about things that even interested her let alone something she might actually need. She liked her job and she enjoyed helping the staff Kirk employed take care of this beautiful, two-story, 6,000 sqft house where she had two rooms to herself along with her own private bathroom. Still, it wasn't her home.

She was sure her baby brother would find love again even if he wasn't. Of course, at 51, he wasn't much of a baby any more but that didn't matter to her. He'd always be her baby brother. Granted, he didn't look anything like a baby, either, thanks to his six-day-a-week workout routine, square jaw, thick, black hair and hard body. It was the one constant in his life and it had helped him keep his sanity throughout Anne's illness and her passing. Kirk never missed a workout. He lifted weights every other day and either ran 3-5 miles or rode a bike 15-25 miles on alternate days. On Fridays, he took the day off and "only" mowed the one-acre lawn at his enormous new home. His dark hair still had no trace of gray but no matter how well he took care of himself, he didn't look 30 anymore. Nonetheless, he was still (by anyone's definition), a very good-looking man. Kelli was sure there had been many offers to fool around over the years, but Kirk was blind when it came to other women. Anne was his be-all, end-all and the two of them spent every spare minute together. Anne wasn't able to have children even though the couple had planned to have one or two, and that caused them to lean on each other even more. She'd never seen two people so much in love for so many years. And now she was gone from his life forever. Why couldn't her ex have been the one to suffer and die from cancer the way Anne had? He was an abusive bastard and that would have been fine with Kelli. But no, it was Anne who suffered so much and who died so young. She was just 48 when cancer ended her life. The only thing she could think of to help her make sense of it was "shit happens." Sometimes, that was the only explanation for things which made no sense and Anne dying like that made no sense whatsoever.

Kirk arrived a few minutes early and headed upstairs to his therapist's office. He hated the sound of that. Who saw a therapist, for Christ's sake? "No one in their right mind," he joked to himself. He stepped off the elevator and immediately saw Sarah Thomas, who was Dr. Keith Dennison's receptionist. She was an attractive young brunette with a pretty smile and well, frankly...a great set of tits. She was the highlight of these twice-weekly visits which hadn't done a damn thing for him in the six weeks he'd been going there.

She was on the phone when he walked in, but she still managed to make eye contact with him and smiled when they did. Kirk still wasn't used to having this kind of wealth and even though the media attention had died out several months ago, he still couldn't help but think that "everybody" knew. That thought, in turn, made him wonder whether or not the way he was treated was sincere or phony behavior to get on his good side. His green side.

"Hi, Kirk! You're right on time," Sarah said as he approached the desk. "Don't you look nice today!" she said cheerfully as she checked him in.

Kirk fought off the all-too-familiar feelings of mistrust, smiled back, and said, "Well, thank you, Sarah but it's you who's looking nice—as always." When Sarah blushed slightly, Kirk didn't know what to say—or do. He just stepped back from the check-in desk and looked around for an empty seat. Before he could even sit down however, Dr. Dennison's door opened and he called out, "Kirk! Come on in!"

They met at the threshold of his office where the good doctor extended his hand. "It's good to see you. Come on in," said Dr. Dennison who closed the door behind them. "Go ahead and take a seat and let's get started."

Kirk sat down in a rich-looking leather chair as his therapist made his way back around his desk to pick up Kirk's file. He flipped through a few pages then said, "Okay. So this is your 13th session, Kirk. I felt like we were really close to a breakthrough last week but for some reason you stopped talking when I asked a particular question and my guess is there was something about it that caused you to decide not to come back again." The doctor paused then asked, "Do you remember what that question was, Kirk?"

"I do," Kirk told him without offering any explanation.

"Care to share any thoughts about it? Maybe what it was about the question that made you stop talking after such a productive session prior to that?"

Kirk hesitated then said, "I think you know why, Keith."

"I'm not sure I do, Kirk. And even if I did know, I'd prefer you talk about those concerns rather than leave me to make assumptions. What is it about me asking you exactly what you're looking for in another woman that causes you so much consternation? I mean, you finally answered the question and in very explicit detail from body type to hair color and style to the kind of clothes you'd like her to wear. But what was so unsettling about that?"

Kirk just sat there staring at the man across the room from him. He looked down for a moment and then out the second-story window at the marina near the building. Finally, he turned back toward the doctor and said, "It's because I want Anne. And I can't have her. I want Anne or a woman exactly like Anne. Since that's not possible, what more is there to say? What difference does it make that I prefer brunettes to blondes or that I like sweaters better than blouses? How does knowing I want a woman whose completely committed to doing things for me like Anne was help me find her? She was just SO willing to wear her hair the way I liked and dress the way I liked. She was also just so...giving...in bed. It was all a part of the give and take we enjoyed doing for each other that made our love so unique. So special. So whatever you need that information for, no woman will ever be Anne." Kirk was staring out the window then turned back toward Dr. Dennison, "What the hell good is knowing that kind of information anyway, Keith? Are you running a dating service here now or what?"

Dr. Dennison moved around his desk and sat directly across from Kirk. He looked his patient directly in the eye and said, "Kirk. I know you wanted to terminate your treatment and based on what you told me in our last session, I called you to come back for one last visit. I've decided to offer you a radical new alternative. I want to suggest a very new, very intense form of therapy to you. It's still being tested and evaluated by the medical profession, but it's been incredibly successful. Well, based on the very small sample size, that is. We've done this for a total of twenty people and eighteen of them have reported total and complete satisfaction with the program. The other two were utterly dissatisfied with it. I know money's not an issue for you, but I need to tell you it's very expensive, not covered by any insurance, and it requires a significant investment of time. Are you interested?"

"What do you by 'complete satisfaction' with the results?"

Dr. Dennison explained. "One of the aspects of the program is not divulging much information about how it works. That's a clear downside and I'm being completely upfront about that. I can tell you it's called 'coercive intimacy therapy' and it involves being paired with one other patient selected by a panel of therapists and the sponsors of the program. The two of you undergo the therapy together but neither of you knows anything about the other. Unfortunately, I'm not at liberty to disclose anything else to include the location."

"Is the coercion part of this program painful? Are you doing therapy in a dungeon or something?" Kirk asked the question jokingly but he really did wonder if there might be some kind of shock therapy or who-knows-what kind of methods being used.

Dr. Dennison laughed. "No, not at all. It's done in the privacy of a laboratory which is, for all intents and purposes, designed to look exactly like a very upscale home with every amenity available to the patients. Also, there's no therapist directly involved throughout the process. The patients learn from one another during the process with very minimal, indirect input from the program's observers/sponsors."

"I don't care about the money. How much time is involved?"

"Between three to six weeks. That all depends on the amount of effort made by the patients. It's a very intense program and it requires total commitment. Frankly, we only offer it when we find a patient who meets all of the numerous prerequisites and the board determined this week that you're ideally suited for this approach as is the person you'll be paired with."

"So in exchange for this 'investment' as you call it, I have the opportunity to find the happiness I'm looking for. Is that what you're telling me?"

"I am. We make no guarantees, of course. As I said, we have had two failures. I should note they were no worse off than before they began the program, but they made no improvement whatsoever. All of the other patients however, are now in committed relationships and four of them have gotten married. For the record, we work with both gay and straight patients. That's probably not important to you, but it is one detail I'm allowed to share. So this isn't a guarantee, Kirk. It's an opportunity. But based on what I now know about you and after the board's review, I strongly suggest you consider it. I understand money isn't an issue, but you should know you'd be paying not only for your therapy but for the other patient's, as well. The price tag is a total of $250,000 which pays for the facility and for around-the-clock monitoring."

Kirk was skeptical but interested. "So what's really going on in this therapy, doc? Are you cloning people? Do you have Anne's DNA or something? How is bunking with someone supposed to help me find the new love of my life? You've gotta give me something more to go on here."

Another chuckle. "No cloning, Kirk. Not even close. It's a method used to strongly urges changes in behavior which in turn reshapes thinking and in the end produces the results the patients say they most want. Sorry, but that's the best I can do."

Kirk sat up then leaned forward. "I've been lost and alone since Anne died, Keith. I'm willing to do damn near anything to be happy again but because of the lottery, I have a lot of trouble trusting people. I've trusted you, Keith. Tell me the truth. Is this legit or is it a way for these 'sponsors' to line their pockets with other people's money? Is The other person aware of my newly acquired wealth? Here's my bottom line question: would YOU do this if you were me?"

Dr. Dennison didn't hesitate in answering, "Unequivocally, yes. I would do this in a heartbeat were I in your situation. Listen, Kirk. Not even I know all of the details but I can assure you the other person knows absolutely nothing about you. I just know that this thing seems to work most of the time. It'll cost you some time but if it's successful..."

Kirk held up his hand signaling he'd heard enough. "Then sign me up. When do I start?"

"Today. I just need you to sign the release paperwork. You can have it reviewed by your legal team if you like, but we need to start as soon as possible."

"Why is that? What's the big hurry?"

"The urgency in your case is in that we've found another patient we are certain will be an ideal match for you. That person has already agreed and is waiting for your arrival."

"I need to let my sister know where I'm going and what I'll be doing and I'll send a copy to my attorney while I'm letting Kel know what I'm doing."

"You're welcome to call her but no one outside of the sponsors knows the location of where you're going and no contact is permitted during the entire session."

Kirk thought about Kelli being all alone for that length of time and it didn't set well with him but he also knew her well enough that she'd be completely supportive of anything that might bring him the happiness he so desperately sought. She had a general power of attorney and would be able to take care of the home and his investments so that wasn't a real concern.

"Okay. I'm in."

Kelli expressed her concerns but as expected, she was completely supportive and wished him well. Kirk signed the paperwork and was later led downstairs to a waiting limousine that wasn't his own. He was unable to hear or see anything but he was aware of being in transit for about four hours. The vehicle came to a stop and he heard a female voice over the car's intercom say, "Travel itinerary complete. Please take the medication provided." At that moment, a tray opened up and there was a small, white pill and a glass of water. Kirk took the pill, looked at it briefly, then told himself, "In for a penny—er, quarter million—in for a pound." He swallowed, set the glass back in the inset and almost immediately, he began to felt extremely tired.

When Kirk awoke, his head was pounding with a headache unlike he'd ever had before. It reminded him of the morning after a party he'd gone to after graduating from college. He'd gotten absolutely shit-faced and woke up in a room he didn't recognize with a head that hurt almost as bad as it his did right now. "Jesus! Where in the world am I? And how the hell did I get here?" he asked himself. He willed himself to sit up even as his head felt like it would explode from the pain. He tried to focus his eyes, but everything was bleary and the room seemed to be swimming. Finally, he was able to make out a door that led out of what was most definitely a bedroom. As he slid off the king-sized bed, he heard a sound behind him that almost sounded like someone breathing deeply. He forced himself to stand up and turn around as he fought through the searing pain in his head and the urge to vomit.

As he turned around it took his brain a moment to register what he was seeing. Lying on the bed was a young woman who seemed to be around 30. She was laying face down but he noticed she had long dark hair and what seemed to be a very athletic body. She was wearing a white camisole and a pair of white silk tap pants. As strong as his confusion was as to this location and the identity of this woman, his thirst was even stronger. He couldn't ever remember being this thirsty in his life. He needed a large glass of water and then he could worry about the woman in the bed and this ungodly pounding in his head.

He shuffled slowly out of the bedroom into what appeared to be a very large, very well-furnished living area which in turn led into a beautiful state-of-the-art kitchen. He managed to focus his eyes enough to see the sink and its beautiful nickel-finished faucet. He opened two of the large cabinets before he found a glass which he grabbed and held under the faucet as he flipped the handle on the cold side. Nothing came out. 
"What the f..." he muttered. He tried again. Still nothing. Then the hot side. No water there, either. He looked over at the stainless steel refrigerator and saw the ice and water dispenser and said to himself, "Hell, yeah." He place the glass under the spout and pushed the plastic piece in but again, no water came out.

Just then he heard a scratchy female voice behind him say, "Who the fuck are you and where the hell am I?"

Kirk turned around and saw the young woman. She looked dazed—and afraid. His head was pounding furiously as he tried to take in as much as he could about her. She was wearing no makeup but she was obviously very pretty in spite of her hair being all matted down from sleeping on it. Kirk tried to speak and heard his voice crack and falter as he managed to say, "I don't know where we are." His throat hurt and it was bone dry. "Listen. Don't worry. I won't hurt you, okay? I'm looking for answers, too. And...water."