Lucille Nailed It Ch. 11 - Final

"No and have you ever seen an advertised Ashleigh Avon garment with crooked seams or failed stitching," Ashleigh giggled. "Now to the derelict shack."

"Oh it's been upgraded since my times here."

"How do you know that?"

"You saw those wall posters in some of the rooms in the houses."

"Yes posters of guys with massively wide chests and tans to die for surfing and babes with equally large chests and so what about it."

"This property borders a bay with what I understand is called a consistent point break lefthander over a sandy bottom. That means something to surfies and their wealthy parents staying here would have upgraded rich dad and mom would have upgraded the shack in keeping with their life-style."

"Oh look," Ashleigh cried. "There it is and doesn't it look cute. My kids will love coming here with friends...but they better pick friends of rich parents because I'm not paying for free-loaders."

On the flight home Lucille and Ashleigh lay, heads together in perfect relaxation induced by martinis – several of them.

"This had been a rather expensive holiday break, sorry about that," Ashleigh sighed. "I still can't believe you got Atlanta Estate for $4.2. You denied sleeping with the realty agent so what did you do, squeeze his nuts till he capitulated?"

"I told you dummy. I threw our final offer at four-two on the table in front of the sellers and said, "Take it or leave it; if you reject offer be prepared to wait another year for an offer. This way at least you can boast you got over four million for a property you paid $2.7 eight years ago. Won't that impress your friends in Chicago?"

"Yes, go on. But what make his wife cave in?"

"She whispered something to him; I'm sure it was 'Take it or I'll crack your nuts."

The two great friends giggled, hands over mouths, not wishing to wake sleeping passengers.

As the aircraft arrived over Sydney, preparing for its final descent, Lucille suggested they should appoint a professional agent to handle holiday packages to Atlanta Estate as soon as the renovations were completed.

Ashleigh said, "There's sleeping accommodation for up to sixteen people in complete luxury with provision for a live-in housemaid and cook at the Great House. If we set this up correctly and replace that toady swimming pool with a big one and spa center we could offer the package at US5000 a night – allowing for plenty of days between occupancies but would not cover our investment and outgoings."

Lucille said but that wasn't the point; the purpose was to hold the property so it was there for their use as required. With the world's rich listers growing, that property was property be worth $30 to $40 million within ten years.

As the aircraft taxied to the terminal, Ashleigh said that she hoped one day Atlanta would become their permanent home.

"That's a lovely thought, darling."

"Don't cry Lucille when I say this, but if this conforms to your thinking I'd help you have baby Atlanta reburied at Atlanta Estate – that is, if the authorities allow it."

"That's sweet of you but baby Atlanta is no longer part of my life; I never weep for her. Not long after her demise I felt my feeling for her leave me. For me, the past has always belonged to the past. Even so, I shall treasure that thought you expressed for the rest of my life. Don't cry Ashleigh – come on, they are only words. Oh you poor darling be happy; here, let me hug you."

Martin finally left Ashleigh who despite her resolve to cope rather lost it for a few weeks. Mo and Lucille helped to pull her through. Just as she began thinking of selling out of her business interests Martin slunk home, having being dumped and seeking forgiveness. Ashleigh relented because the three children voted he be allowed to return home.

They slept in separate bedrooms but Martin gradually broke through her resistance and they resumed life as husband and wife.

Lucille had watched this with interest, believing absolutely that she would have taken the skunk by the throat and tossed him down the driveway from that moment when he first re-appeared. Her fascination grew in observing Ashleigh gradually returning to her old self.

* * *

Two months after the awards evening Ashleigh came bursting into Lucille's office, the PA looking helpless and saying, "I'm sorry, Miss Lightfoot. I was unable to stop her without becoming physical."

"That's fine Rita. Close the door and bring us a pot of strong coffee; then I must not be disturbed until I call you."

Ashleigh wept on Lucille's shoulder. Although in her fifties she still had the features of a beauty, albeit now a faded beauty.

"Has he gone again?"

Ashleigh's body shook with new sobs as she nodded.

Rita knocked and entered with the coffee, poured two cups and indicated with hands and facial expression was there anything she could do. Lucille mouthed 'No'.

After Lucille managed to calm Ashleigh and coax her to drink some coffee, she said, "Right Ashleigh, try not to let this upset you more than you are now. But that's the third time that bastard has done this to you and in my book it's time to say, Martin, it's three strikes and you've gone; finito. Call your lawyer now."

"No please."

"No nothing sweetie; hand me your phone."

"But..."

"The phone please Ashleigh; don't make me get tough with you."

Lucille found the speed-dial for Laura and handed Ashleigh back her phone. "Tell Laura you are ending your marriage and have authorized me to speak to her on your behalf."

"Hi Laura – we both know what a bastard that man has been to Ashleigh over the years. Well, here's what Ashleigh wants – Dissolution of the marriage – you know the grounds. We want you to set up immediate negotiations for the split of marital assets. Then Ashleigh wants you to appoint someone to find a buyer or buyers of her business assets which years ago Ashleigh's father was clever enough to persuade her to exclude from the upcoming marriage in a pre-nuptial arrangement. If necessary Ashleigh will be prepared to remain available to the buyers, for a fee, as an external consultant for up to two years."

"External?"

"Yes, Laura. We've both selling up and going to our Eden called Atlanta in Hawaii to live."

"Oh my dream. You know my extended family have holidayed there three times. We just adore it."

"Well we haven't talked about living arrangements yet, but we'll keep part of the exotic holiday destination going to share in the company of people; we'll have no wish to become recluses. I'm handing you back to Ashleigh to confirm my instructions made on her behalf. She'll be staying with me for a few days until she bounces back."

Graham Inspired Holdings Limited and several much smaller companies was sold subject to legalities being complete in the time it took Chrissie Morrissey to phone her stepmother Geneva, who managed the family trust on behalf of her husband, now in a nursing home with a perpetual vacant stare on his face and unable to recognize even Geneva or Chrissie though he liked holding their hands.

"How much?" Chrissie had asked before making that call.

"At book value plus fifteen percent because you're family."

"But the asset is worth double book value on the open market."

"Does it matter Chrissie? I'd suggest you think about orchestrating a merger with the public company your father founded; public companies pay really big money for acquisitions."

Chrissie returned to the phone and after a moment said, "Mum says yes, we'll sell shares. She suggests half payable on settlement in say six weeks and the other half on June 30 next year."

"Agreed."

"She's agreed mum. Thanks a million. Bye."

Lucille smiled. "So Geneva is 'mum' now; when did that happen?"

"Slowly, I guess. With me working she was so good to me when the kids were sick or on school holidays. Socially I still call her Geneva but when we are intimate, like just now, the 'mum' just slips out, exacerbated when dad had that stroke and again when the fight went out of him and he allowed himself to be admitted for 24-hour care. It's been difficult for mum but she's coping and there's still so much life in her."

"Then put her to work."

"What, mum?"

"Yes mum. You told me years ago she has qualifications in accountancy and we know she has a sweet personality. Promote Eva and put Geneva into manage client liaison and bad debt collection. Then when she feels right for more responsibility, promote her. I picture her becoming general manager before too long."

Chrissie looked doubtful.

"I know you usually are right but mum would be working for people whose earnings for the week would be what she spends weekly on makeup and entertainment."

"Possibly but who cares? I suspect she won't; she's currently in a hole having a hell of a life. Oh my – you're scared to ask her aren't you? You've just done a multi-million dollar deal without blinking and yet you can't dare ask your mother to come and work for you."

"Toughen up, Chrissie – soon you'll not have me for backup."

"Well, what do I say to her?"

"Here's the phone – call her and talk. Allow your brain to take over."

Chrissie was straight into it.

"Hi mum, would you like to come to work for me?"

"Yes dear and thanks for asking; I'm thrilled."

"Yes? But I haven't made you an offer yet."

"Who cares?"

"What do you mean who cares...and where did you get that dismissive retort from? The only person I know who talks like that is... Mum when did Lucille last talk to you? I'm just a puppet, aren't I? This purchase deal was done before I picked up the phone, wasn't it?"

"Chrissie you're hallucinating."

What do you mean I'm hallucinating? Right and bye mum."

Chrissie turned, looking ready for scrap.

"Cool it sweetie – having a row brings no one satisfaction."

"When did you last talk to my mother; she refused to tell me?"

"Last night at the ballet and then we went to dinner. We had such a beautiful time. I told her I was selling up and heading off to retirement in Hawaii. She asked how much did I want for the business, I asked why and she said it would be a lovely present for you because you've been rather down since your father became ill."

"A present – she said a present?"

"Yes but I talked her out of it and suggested the holding company be purchased through the family trust and then you'd feel you were buying your stake jointly. I told her you had an uptight streak in you that wouldn't permit you to accept an entire group of companies as a present. I then suggested when the deal is done she should go and work for you and Geneva said what would the other workers think with Mrs High Society working beside them. I said who cares, she laughed and said who cares and we kissed, deal done."

Chrissie looked at Lucille coldly.

"Then why put me through that purchasing charade?"

"I did that for the satisfaction of seeing your face when working on a multi-million dollar deal without me behind you."

"And?"

"You did well – but you didn't spring a lower counter-offer."

"That's because your price was exceedingly generous."

"Chrissie remember this for the rest of your financially negotiating life: no asking price is too low whereas the buying price can be too high."

"Would you have dropped your price?"

"Perhaps but I was disappointed I wasn't tested."

Chrissie smiled faintly.

"Never again will I be that incompetent in negotiations; I promise you that. What about my reluctance to make an offer to my mother?"

"Who cares? But you learned that even she can surprise by saying yes; that silly fear of engaging Geneva in business negotiations now lies behind you. Ask me Chrissie."

"Ask you what?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm off to help find a buyer for Ashleigh's business interests."

"Lucille would you join our board as a director for a two-year term, attending three quarterly meetings and the combined December quarterly/annual meeting as well as being on tap as a consultant which can be worked via email."

"Thank God for that. Yes of course. I hope Geneva didn't prompt you to ask me that?"

"She mentioned it but I'd already decided to make the invitation."

"Good girl; a sound business decision."

"No worries Lucille."

"What on earth does that mean?"

"It's the modern version of who cares."

* * *

"You've done what!" Ashleigh screamed.

"Have you gone deaf? I said I've been to see Martin and suggested he form a syndicate of business friends to buy your business."

"But Martin – why that creep?"

"Who's the one person who knows your business as well as you do? That weak managing-director of yours? I don't think so."

"Martin?"

Lucille snapped, "Speak up, I didn't hear."

"Martin!"

"God you're bright Ashleigh. What a wonderful idea. Have you appointed a selling agent yet?"

"Not yet, I'm doing that in the morning."

Ashleigh was asked had the house, beach-house and launch being valued and was told yes and asked why.

"Because you little business innocent, you slippery dick husband is with his lawyer right now drawing up a document offering you the house, beach-house and launch in exchange for a comparable amount in shares in your company."

"If he does that, where would he live and relax?"

"Who cares Honey?"

"I only suspect he'd doing that because he's smart and it's what I'd do. If you don't think he's that smart, consider the way he'd duped you over the years with his sexual sorties."

The phone went and two minutes later Ashleigh came from the bedroom combing her hair. "That was Andrew; he wants to meet me for coffee for a quick chat. He wouldn't say what about. Do you think..."

"Yes I do. We want to get out of here and so accept the higher of the two valuations for the house and the beach-house but refuse to have anything to do with the boat – they can be slow sellers. He'll know someone who'll buy it, even if that offer falls below valuation."

Ashleigh looked agog. "You do know you don't know the pointy end of a boat from the blunt end."

"Who needs to know unless you're the driver or do they call them captains? But I know business and know from reading that boats can be hard to shift. So, um, no worries."

"No worries? That's rather modern vernacular for you. Have you taken on a young guy?"

"Off to coffee you cheeky bitch. I'm off to have a drink with Geneva. She and Chrissie are buying my publishing empire."

"What – oh God! But you said nothing until now?"

"At this stage shifting your business is my focus. We can always gloat in social time. Take the good news from Martin and then give him an ultimatum – five days to put an offer together or it's all off."

"Five days – don't you mean five weeks?"

"Hawaii beckons up, darling. Besides, the longer you give men the worse they dither. Worse than women, I find."

"May I say seven days?"

Ashleigh took one look at the poker face and said, "Right five days or I'm to say fuck-off."

* * *

Six weeks later Ashleigh and Lucille were watching an after lunch soap on TV when the front door bell of the Great House chimed. Ashleigh answered and returned with two men in their mid-fifties in Hawaiian shirts, baggy shorts and no footwear.

"This is Lucille boys – Lucille, this is 'Cobber' Roach from Scarborough Beach, Perth and his old mate is Jeff Nixon from Santa Cruz California. The guys are on a surfing renaissance, going to some of the places they surfed at thirty years ago. They say a Mrs Graham lived here in those days and allowed them to sleep in the shack for a few days, using it as their base.

"Oh yes, for free and they were invited to this house in the evening for beer and a free meal."

"Well Lucille," Cobber smiled. "Actually that's the truth. We were beach bums in those days with little cash. Mrs Graham found us amusing and treated us royally. But this time we're cash-rich and have our own vehicle. We seek to rent the shack and will keep out of your way. We'll eat in town."

"Are you agreeable to that Ashleigh?"

"Yes, they appear to wash and look vermin free."

"Fine boys – you may have the shack for five nights, no charge, no excessive noise, no under-age women or drugs." Lucille said. "Where are your wives?"

In unison they both said at home, indicating they thought themselves too refined to go beach bumming even in Hawaii.

"Thank you for answering honestly guys. Coffee?"

"Thank you ma'am," said Cobber. "But if you don't mind we want to rush off the point – the waves appear to be at their peak right now; a wind change is expected later."

"Off you go," Ashleigh said. "Mind if we come down and watch?"

"Be our guests," Jeff frowned. "Just remember we don't have bodies like we did thirty years ago."

"Right and who does," Ashleigh sighed.

The women became conscious of having their bodies appraised.

Cobber led the way out.

"Oh Jeff," Lucille called. "Drinks at 7:00, dinner at 8:00. You both will be acceptable informally dressed providing you wear big smiles. We'll dress down."

"Thank you ma'am," Jeff beamed.

Cobber poked his head back into the room and said, "Thanks – that's a wonderful offer ladies."

After they'd gone Ashleigh sniffed and said she didn't think trying to seduce men over dinner was the reason for them coming to live in Hawaii. "We're really too old for this sort of thing."

"Who cares," Lucille said, stretching. "I think I'll wear my sexiest dress."

"Panties?" Ashleigh asked

"I've yet to decide."

"Me too. What do you expect to happen?"

"You won't want to know."

Ashleigh gave her friend an impolite gesture. "Try me."

"Two very hot nights, then they go after younger chicks."

"Oh God," Ashleigh sighed. "Which one can I have?"

"Who cares!"

The End