Mason Ch. 01

After he left Ethan's house, Mason went home. He had some serious thinking to do. Losing Katrina had hurt even though he had known ever since Ethan first saw the girls that it was going to happen. But he had held on to the bitter end that she would change her mind. He hadn't lied when he told Ethan that he would always love her but now he had no choice but to put his feelings on a shelf somewhere and try to forget about her. If he stayed where he was, that would never happen and at some point, he would run into them and he didn't think that he could stand that. He also meant it when he congratulated Ethan; he knew that Katrina and the girls would be well loved and cared for, otherwise he wouldn't have released them into Ethan's care.

Mason sat down at his desk, leaned back into his massive chair and closed his eyes. He couldn't stay here; he would have to move his practice to somewhere else, the question was where. He thought about Eustace Matthews, Eustace had been asking him to partner with him for years and Mason had always declined. Just when he thought it might be a good move, he remembered that Ethan sometimes saw Eustace on a professional basis. He didn't know if he still did and if he wasn't then maybe... but did he want to take the chance that Ethan would just pop up one day? But the problem wasn't Ethan, it was Katrina; she was the one that he couldn't bear to see and the chances of her going to Boston were nil...he hoped.

Mason picked up the phone and called Eustace's office.

"Eustace, Mason Donahue here! How in the hell are you? Glad to hear it, I have a question for you; is that offer to combine our offices still open? It is? Great! Why don't I come to see you in a few days? I've got some things to finish up here. I'll see you then."

Mason hung up the phone, stood up and stretched. He was every bit as big as Ethan except that his hair was dark brown as were his eyes. If he and Ethan had fought, it would have been close; the possibility that they would have killed each other was very real. That was another reason why he backed down, he didn't want to take the risk of both of them dying and leaving Katrina and the girls alone and had he won there was a good chance that she wouldn't have taken him as a mate anyway and would have possibly hated him. Other than surviving a fight with Ethan, the only choice that he had was to let her choose between them without her actually being aware that she was choosing. What he hadn't counted on was her making her choice so soon after the girls were born but yet he stayed in hopes that she would change her mind or that Ethan would fail. Neither of which happened.

He opened up the photo app on his cell phone and looked at all of the pictures he had of her and the girls, "they should be mine." he muttered. But they weren't and they never would be except as a friend and he just couldn't think of her like that right now. He didn't fool himself, if Katrina called him right now he would drop everything and go to her the consequences be damned. He realized that he had to start getting over her, he was going to have a hard enough time as it was explaining to his mate when he found her how he still loved another.

Mason went to his room and began to make preparations to leave; he wanted to see Katrina just once more. He took a deep breath and pushed the thought away, no good would come of it. Like him, Ethan didn't make idle threats; Ethan really would kill him or try to if he tried to see Katrina without his knowledge or permission. He tried to think of a viable reason to ask to see her and the girls but he couldn't. Mason sighed, went to the closet and pulled out a suitcase and threw it on the bed. There was no choice, he had to leave.

Antoinette or Toni as her friends called her had a horrible headache; she had just finished her shift at the hospital as a third year resident and she still had to study for boards. Some of the others were going out for drinks and asked her to go along but she refused, she had to pass boards the first time around, this was a failure is not an option situation or at least she told herself that it was but right now all she wanted to do was go home, take a hot shower and go to sleep.

She made it home just after nine pm, early enough to study a little but the insistent headache wasn't going to allow it. She noticed the answering machine light blinking and groaned. She had forgotten to call her on again off again boyfriend James back.

"Damn it!" she cursed as she played back the first of six messages.

"Hi sweetie, where are you? I'm waiting!"

Toni frowned and played the next message.

"Toni? Did you forget we were meeting for drinks after your shift?"

"Oh shit!" she cursed as she dialed James' cell phone number. He answered after the third ring.

"Toni? Where in the fuck are you? I've been waiting for almost an hour and a half!"

"I am so sorry, I got out late and I have this headache- give me twenty minutes and I'll be there."

She hung up and wondered why she just didn't tell him that she couldn't make it. She knew why; this wasn't the first time that she had spaced out on their plans, it was one of the reasons why they kept breaking up. She rushed to the bedroom, popped two aspirin and hopped into the shower. The hot water felt good to her tense, aching muscles and she wished that she could have stayed in the shower longer but James was waiting. She quickly oiled her dark brown skin, ran a brush through her short hair and threw on whatever clothes she came to first hoping that they matched and ran out of the door.

James was tapping his foot impatiently when she got to the bar, she braced herself for his tirade about her always forgetting their plans, and she never said anything because he was right.

"I'm glad that you could fit me in." James said snidely not even trying to hide his irritation.

Toni looked at him, he was gorgeous, tall, black haired and blue eyed. Everyone she knew wondered how she had managed to catch the handsome fourth year resident but the truth of it was; she didn't know herself. She was as short as he was tall, as dark as he was light and well... fat as compared to his trim athletic build. She didn't think that she was ugly but she was no beauty queen either. She didn't understand the attraction and why he kept coming back after each break up.

"Damn it Toni! You promised to do better!"

"I know! I'm sorry. I got caught up at work." Toni said knowing that he wasn't buying it; she always gave the same excuse.

She felt her eyes burn with tears, it wasn't so much because James was mad at her; that was part of it but she was exhausted, her head hurt and she was stressed about boards even though they were a ways off. Seeing her eyes fill with tears, James stopped his tirade. He could never stand to see her cry.

"Alright, don't cry." he said taking her into his arms.

Toni hugged him back and rested her head against his chest, she was so damned tired.

"Baby, I'm sorry. It's just that I haven't seen you since the end of my rotation two days ago and I missed you. Come on, let's go and tuck you into bed."

It was times like this that Toni thought that she loved James but she didn't deserve him and it was time that she told him that but not tonight, she needed him.

James walked her home and up to her apartment, she knew that he wanted to spend the night with her even if they did nothing more than lie in bed and hold each other. Tonight she needed that, she was very aware that she was using him but she needed to be comforted and he was willing.

James looked through her cabinets for her stash of chamomile tea finding it in the cabinet above the sink and wondered why she kept moving it from place to place.

"Get ready for bed while I make you some tea." he told her as he put the tea kettle on.

Toni changed into her pajamas and climbed into bed, wearing pajamas was her way of telling him that she wasn't interested in sex, his making her tea was his way of telling her that sex wasn't expected. In truth, all they usually did was sleep together, there was very little sex. It didn't seem to bother James and it really didn't bother her either. The times that they did have sex were unremarkable at best with James enjoying it far more than she did.

James brought her the tea made just the way she liked it, strong with a hint of honey. As she sipped her tea, James changed into the shorts that he kept at her place and climbed into bed next to her and waited for her to finish her tea. When she was finished, he took the mug from her and took her into his arms; once again she wondered why James kept coming back.

"James?"

"Hmmm?"

"Why do you keep coming back?" she asked.

"That's easy, because I love you and I keep hoping that one day you'll see that." he replied.

"James, I..."

"Shhh, go to sleep; you're exhausted."

Mason walked around his house making sure that he wasn't leaving anything that he really needed behind. He gave last minute instructions to the staff before going to his bedroom and grabbing his suitcase. Normally he would just vanish from one place to another but this time he wanted to drive. It would give him time to do some thinking about how to get over Katrina and to formulate what he would tell his mate if he found her. The urge to see Katrina again rose again and only by sheer will did he manage to push it away, he had to leave and now.

An hour later Mason was in his car and headed toward Boston, he was saddened that he was leaving California but he had no real choice, he briefly thought about moving to the northern part of the state and disregarded the idea opting to go with the plan to move to Boston, the further away he was from her the better. The radio played soft classical music which had always soothed him in the past but not tonight. Twice he almost turned around, the only things stopping him was that he was a man of his word and he didn't want to complicate things for Katrina any more than they were, she had made her choice and he had to respect that.

He stopped at a bed and breakfast that was run by a vampire couple and only accepted guests who were vampire. He was checked in and taken to his room by the owner himself.

"Everything that you need should be in there, if you're missing something or need something call."

The man left Mason alone with his thoughts after bidding him a good rest. Mason stripped and lay on the bed, as he fell asleep he cursed the fates.

Toni woke up to the smell of food cooking, her headache was gone and she was starving. She got out of bed and headed to the bathroom to wash her face, brush her teeth and run a comb through her short hair, James was just putting pancakes on her plate when she came out.

"Morning beautiful." he said kissing her temple as she sat down.

"Morning, it smells good."

Toni looked at James when he wasn't paying attention, what was wrong with her? The man was gorgeous and treated her like a queen but yet..., she loved him but not nearly as much as he loved her. This wasn't fair to him; it was time to end this for good.

"James, sit down. Please."

James stopped what he was doing and gave Toni an apprehensive look. When he was sitting Toni took his hands in hers.

"James, you are so sweet and so caring and I've treated you like shit. You deserve someone who won't forget plans and treats you the way you should be treated. I think that we should call it quits but this time it has to be for good."

James looked like he had been slapped.

"Toni..."

"James, it's for the best. Lets think about our relationship, from the beginning you've always done most of the work and I came along for the ride. It's not that I don't love you, I do but not as much as you love me and I can't do this to you anymore."

"Toni, please; let's talk about this." James said, "We can make this work, we just have to compromise, don't give up yet."

Both of them were crying. Toni gave in; maybe she could change, maybe she could learn to love him as much as he did her. She would just have to try harder.

James stood up and pulled her to her feet.

"Toni, I love you and I know that you don't love me as much as I do you but I don't care because it will come. One day you'll realize that you really do love me and I'm willing to wait."

James led Toni back to bed and eased her onto it and made love to her, he was as gentle as always and worked toward her pleasure before taking his own. Afterwards, they lay together; Toni wrapped in James' arms, as she fell asleep; she tried to convince herself that she loved him more than she really did.

When she woke up James was gone but he left a note on the pillow. Toni read the note and sighed; he was coming back and making dinner. She took hot shower as she contemplated what to do about James, she should have stuck to her guns this morning, it would have been over by now if she had. Her best friend Michele was growing tired of the way that James was being treated.

"Look." Michele told her one night, "You have either got to shit or get off the pot, the longer you wait the harder it's going to be. He's a nice guy and he doesn't deserve what you're doing to him. So either you love him or you don't but make up your damned mind."

Michele was right; she had to end this before he did something like propose. "Tonight" she told herself as she finished her shower. As she dried off she wondered what it was that James saw in her, she would never be a swimsuit model and there were so many beautiful women that would be better for him than she was. For a long time, Toni wondered why she couldn't fall completely in love with James, after a while she knew what it was; she was too independent, it didn't really bother her if she didn't see James for three or four days but it sure as hell bothered him, he was clingy and needed constant reassurance that she cared for him. This had to end.

She put on a clean pair of pajama bottoms and a tee shirt and headed toward the living room where she was already set up to study. Before she knew it, James was back with groceries.

"Hi sweetness how's your headache?" he asked as he sat the grocery bags on the table, "I bought some chicken breasts, asparagus and rice. How does that sound?"

"It sounds really good but James we need to talk." Toni said.

"We talked this morning, we're good."

"No, we're not. James, I can't do this; I'm not what you need."

"I don't think that's for you to decide." He said quietly.

"Alright then, you're not what I need."

James stopped unpacking the bags.

"Are you breaking up with me again?" he asked, his voice filled with apprehension.

This was it. Toni took a deep breath and steeled her nerves.

"Yes and this time it's for good. I don't deserve you; you deserve someone like that cute little night nurse that that always flirts with you or..."

"Stop it Toni, you don't get to tell me what I need if you don't want me. I'm not some stray puppy that you need to find a home for" he retorted, and for the record; I know exactly who and what I need."

Toni cursed under her breath; she should have done this before he left this morning.

"James..."

"Forget it Toni, enjoy dinner."

Toni watched him leave and felt terrible, it shouldn't have gone this far but she realized something; she felt free. She didn't have to stress about returning phone calls or forgetting dates, on the other hand; she was going to miss him. She put the groceries away wishing that he had taken them with him; she was a horrible cook.

Mason was up and on the road by six, the further away from Katrina he got the better he felt telling him that he had made the right decision. This move would be good for him he decided as he sped down the highway further away from Katrina and the girls.

A week later Mason was sitting in Eustace's office.

"I'm glad that you decided to join me." Eustace said offering Mason a seat, "mind if I ask what changed your mind?"

"I just needed a change of scenery." Mason replied, "This is some office." he commented changing the subject.

"I'm glad that you like it. You know, sometimes we need someone to talk to too." Eustace said.

Mason didn't miss the hint.

"Thanks Eustace, I'll keep that in mind; so where's my office?"

Eustace took Mason on a tour of the building.

"The entire building is ours, I live on the top two floors and I have plenty of room if you need a place to stay."

"I'm good but thanks for the offer; I found a home just outside of the city limits. Tell me, does Ethan Sinclaire still come to see you?"

"Not lately, he's seeing someone near Oceanside; he does call on occasion to check in since I'm seeing some of the males of his family, why do you ask?"

"Just curious, he and I go way back." Mason replied knowing that Eustace wasn't fooled.

"He's a good man and he's working like hell to get his mate back." Eustace said watching Mason's expression.

Mason kept his expression impassive.

"Yes he always was a good man; it was his family that fucked him up." Mason replied.

"That's true but at any rate, he's working his ass off. The last time I spoke with him he sounded good, he said that he was making progress with his mate." Eustace hesitated before speaking again, "Mason, I want to ask you something and feel free to tell me to fuck off, but how much of your being here has to do with her?"

"Eustace?"

"Yes?"

"Fuck off." Mason said as he walked out of the office.

Just how in the fuck did Eustace know? Mason wondered. Unless he put two and two together which was entirely possible Eustace was a very intuitive man which is why he was so good at his job.

Mason walked through his newest home his mind on Katrina; he hoped that the intense acute longing would pass quickly. He pulled out his cell phone and looked at the pictures of Katrina and the girls for what had to be the thousandth time. He needed to delete them, it was doing him no good to keep them, for the hundredth time he touched the delete button but unlike all of the other times, he pushed it before he could change his mind.

"Fuck!" Mason exclaimed as the pictures disappeared.

After James left, Toni couldn't concentrate. She gave up and turned on the television looking for a sitcom or anything that wasn't serious. Guilt was starting to set in; she had hurt James badly and found herself hoping that he would call if only to let her know that he was alright. She toyed with calling him but decided against it, she didn't want to give him any ideas.

Her rumbling stomach reminded her that dinner was long past but she really didn't have anything quick other than ramen noodles. She thought about cooking the chicken that James left but decided that it was too much like work which left her only two options, the ramen noodles or going out to get something. The only problem with going out was that the closest fast food place was three blocks away and she wasn't in the best of neighborhoods. James had been trying to get her to move in with him but she had always refused; now she was glad that she did. After deliberating for a few minutes more, she decided to go out. The walk would do her good and maybe she could get her mind back into studying.

As she changed her clothes to go out, Toni looked at the picture of her parents. She wanted them to be proud of her and she wanted to take care of them the way that they had taken care of her. The plan was to move them to some place sunny and warm like Florida or Southern California. She already had brochures of places that she thought that they would like. That's why it was critical that she passed boards the first time around.

Just as she was about to leave, her cell phone rang, she checked the caller ID; James.

"Toni? Why don't you love me?" he asked his voice slurred.

"James? Where are you?"