Matter of Choice Ch. 02

Life sometimes comes full circle, each step we take, everything we do is a choice. The result of that choice can be fine, or it can lead to the depths of despair.

I made my choice when I married Patra, failing to see that she was a woman with wants that far exceeded what I could or would even consider providing.

Being young and inexperienced in the ways of life, I simply failed to notice Sarah, who loved me completely and totally even when we were small children. Had she simply kissed me, I believe my choice then would have been different.

Such a simple thing, but Sarah was waiting for me, and I was blinded by Patra's beauty. From my poor farmer's point of view, she was the finest apple on the tree, the one to take for myself.

The flaws inside did not show on the outside, I came to learn. They seldom do, of course. The result of our union only brought to the fore our differences.

Patra was not a bad woman, she just had wants and needs I did not share.

When I opened my door that day after a dozen long hard lonely years of work to keep my farm afloat, sunshine stood on my stoop.

It was Sarah. Sweet Sarah. Our joining that evening was not one of lust, it was...right? Is that the correct word, so easy, so...right?

I do know our son Danny was concieved that night. Dean followed just one short year later.

No parents could ask for finer boys, they grew like weeds, they worked and played, and in much the very same manner as I and Sarah had done as children.

Sarah and I worked by their sides, taught them the ways of the land and soil.

I took care to explain how their life could be, not how it would be. I explained about choice, and I made sure they knew the errors I had made with my own.

With the joining of Sarah's family farm and mine, we became one of the largest farms in the area, we could diversify, if one crop was poor another could take up the slack. We got by, those times for us were good.

Then came the Wilson family, they bought acreage that ajoined ours to the South, fine land we would have added to ours had finances been available.

Jim and Kathy Wilson had managed to escape the world of long commutes and corporate pressures. They feared for their girls on the streets they lived on, and the schools were filled with drugs and gangs.

Plus it seems there is different kind of Apple than those grown on a farm, they had cashed their stocks and moved to the country.

Sarah and I looked at each other, we knew what they faced. The next day we walked the 4 miles to their place, I showed Jim how to start his tractor, how to hook up his equipment. I was assuming they would fail but Jim read books, learned. Some things he even taught us, changes to fertilizer and watering patterns that actually increased our yields. We learned he had been over a decade in the planning.

We became fast friends.

They had two little twin daughters, Kim and Kerry, barely 9 years old the day the family arrived. Danny and Dean were just 10 & 11 years old, the match was good and almost instant.

I remember watching one day as the four of them, naked as jaybirds and totally innocent, splashed and played as only children can in the very swimming hole that Sarah and I had done exactly the same so many years before.

I just smiled and let them be, knowing. As more time passed I sometimes sat doing accounts, looking up to see the girls bringing water and food to my boys. They always seemed to be dressed nice, hair fixed up.

Our crops were staggered, so in between we used our machines to help the Wilsons with their workload, they did the same for us. It was just the way our world was. We often shared meals, watching the lively banter between our four children, we parents smiling.

Jim and Kathy Wilson became like us, just farmers, like so many in our world we relied on each other.

One day I went out to the barn to find a tool I needed and found Kim and Danny looking flushed and guilty as they climbed down from the hayloft.

I just found my tools and returned to work, Danny was now 20, and Kim was 18. I mentioned it to Sarah who didn't seem surprised, she said she thought they were going to be a couple soon if not already.

I thought of the old mobile home that still sat down by the slough, unused for many years but kept in shape. Time to think of what might be needed for our children.

The surprise came weeks later when Dean announced at dinner that he had joined the Army. Neither Sarah or I took that well, of course changes to life always come but our idea of changes did not include one of our sons leaving home.

Home was everything to us.

The day Dean boarded the bus, he was happy. All of us were there to wish him luck. I saw the quiver of Kerry's lower lip, I saw her turn her head away to hide the tear that trickled down her cheek. I saw Dean hug her and not notice. Then she stood slightly apart as the bus moved away. Danny and Kim had their arms around each other, smiling but the smile seemed sad.

So choice came once again to our lives. Choice can affect so much more than just the person making it. Our fine son Dean had decided on the military, a chance to see the world. He had not decided on Kerry, as his mother and I, and Kerry, had hoped.

Danny had chosen the simple hard working farm life, he had chosen Kim as we had seen developing from the time they were just early teens.

I knew why, because even though Kim and Kerry looked just alike, acted alike and often spoke in the singsong "bit's and pieces" of speech that only identical twins seem to do, they were clearly completely different.

Kim was outgoing and eager, Kerry was quieter and soft-hearted. I lay in my bed thinking, the soft snores of Sarah music to my ears as she snuggled up tight to me for warmth. Like it had been with Sarah, Dean had never seen Kerry as more than a friend.

It hit me that Kerry had needed to grab Dean and kiss him, just as Sarah had needed to do with me so long ago.

Her choice was to wait, to see what would be. Her choice was wrong.

Dean's choice was wrong too, Dean didn't come home.

There was a long bad time after the two men in uniform came to our door. Sarah and I hugged each other for hours. Then we went back to the farm. The land does not know of tragedy, the land does not wait. Years of effort can come down to a few short days, those days must be tended, the work must be done.

It was nearly a year later when I saw something that gave me pause. I noticed the swelling, Kim was expecting. I felt a flash of joy and then it hit me that I was looking at Kerry. I started to say something, then thought better of it. Later, I asked Sarah.

She smiled at me and told me what I had begun to suspect.

"Danny." She said simply.

"But..." my voice trailed off in surprise.

"What about Kim?"

"She knows, it's OK."

My blank expression gave away my confusion, I am sure.

"They are a couple now, I mean, a triple..together."

I knew that Kerry had moped around, heartbroken for a very long time. Then Danny and Kim had discovered that Kim was diagnosed as nearly sterile. The two girls were so close that they made a choice. Perhaps one society would not bless or accept.

Little Davey came to our family. He grew like a weed, ran and played with that same wild energy Sarah and I knew as children. Danny and Kim and Kerry lived together as a family. Of course, in a small community everyone knew. No one said a single word, it was just accepted. They were happy, all that really matters in a life.

Jim and Kathy accepted too in time, although for a short period there was some conflict but we were only mildly aware of it. They spoke little of the situation.

Not long after little Kathy arrived, then only weeks later came the surprise. Kim was pregnant. Against long odds, she was pregnant. Somehow she carried normally, too. Danny, jr was a bundle of joy, all of us were there the day he joined our family. We nicknamed him Junior and it stuck.

I knew the little mobile home was getting full, so Jim and Kathy incorporated with our farm. Our pooled resources allowed us to take over acreage to the north that also bordered the river and had a huge farmhouse. Danny moved his now six member family to the larger place, once again the mobile home was vacant.

Sometimes I watched as little Davey and Kathy and Junior splashed in the old swimming hole. Naked and innocent of course. So much time had passed, yet nothing really changed except now it was brothers and sister doing the same as Sarah and I had done as children.

One day I heard some yelling and looked out to see my grandchildren and two young girls I didn't know playing in the water and a much smaller boy sitting on the bank. I walked down there, Kerry and Kim sat leaned against a tree, watching.

"What do we have here?" I asked.

"Hi, Pops!" they said, in unison like always.

"These are the Chavez kids, they just moved into the old Taylor place."

I thought about that, we had had some designs about that property but available manpower didn't pencil out to adding it just yet.

I looked at the bundles of energy thrashing the water to foam, and smiled.

I was already thinking of the old mobile home. Perhaps there would be a use for it again.