Matthew's First Time

I hate group projects. I hate the school work and I hate being around other people.

I've always been sort of an introvert when it came to hanging around people. I never really had many friends growing up, and making friends here at college hasn't been the easiest thing to do either. I'd rather stay by myself and read a book or something.

I can only assume that my shyness is because of the fact that I used to be bullied for being trans. I can't help the fact that I feel more comfortable as a guy, however... one thing that does make me a little uncomfortable to tell people about is that, well...I still have a pussy. There, I said it. And another thing? I'm really, really into dudes.

I've run into quite a few people that think it's strange that a trans male would still be into guys, but I just can't help it. I've never been comfortable around girls, and I've always found myself being attracted to guys for the most part. Does that make me gay, or straight? Hell if I know. All I know is that I've helplessly had my eye on James Camero for the past few months.

Now, James...James is a handful, I gotta say. He's so handsome; six foot four, broad shoulders, muscular build, blonde hair, piercing blue eyes... hell, he's a chick magnet. Well, unfortunately for him, he really IS a chick magnet. I've seen horny girl after horny girl approach him and shamelessly flirt, but he just never seemed interested. It always baffled me, and honestly, I'm really jealous of that. I've never had anyone approach me the way he gets approached, and it only made me feel a lot worse about myself.

A lot of times, I worry that I just wasn't attractive or funny enough to get a boyfriend. I've always been too shy to try and approach anyone, and I figured that anyone would automatically turn me away once they found out what I was packing down there.

For months, I would always watch James play basketball with his friends, or make an effort to sit next to him during class, but I never talked to him. A scrawny kid like me talk to the most attractive guy on the campus? That was ridiculous. And so, I remained quiet. Until one fateful day when the teacher assigned us as partners for a group project...

"James, you're with Matthew. The assignment is due Friday. If you have questions, just speak to me after class."

The teacher could've paired me with anyone else. Anyone else in the entire universe, and they chose to pair me with James. Call it fate, but I call it bullshit.

As soon as I heard our names called together, all I wanted to do was sink down in my seat and disappear into oblivion. Never once had I thought that I'd get a chance to be in the same room with James Camero, alone. Now that that chance had finally arised, all I wanted to do was just vanish. My heart was starting to beat fast as that panic set in, and I could feel my face heat up when James turned his head to glance at me. Surely I would just make a fool of myself out of sheer nervousness, and I wasn't entirely sure if I could live down that embarrassment. I had at least hoped that I could collect myself as soon as I got out of that classroom, but...nope. Not a fucking chance.

I sit on my dorm room floor, looking over the scattered notes and papers that we had scribbled down so far. James sat across from me, leaned up against the wall and enjoying a cigarette. The first few hours that we spent together so far weren't as hellish as I had thought, but only because there was minimal talking. James doesn't seem like the talkative type of person, and I'm grateful for that. While he enjoys his smoke break, I look over our notes one more time, but my attention soon snapped to him when he spoke;

"So, Matty, what is it exactly that you do when you aren't busy?"

I shouldn't be fazed by such a normal question, but somehow, just the tone of his voice makes my heart hammer. Is he genuinely curious? Or is he just bored? I run my hand through my black hair to get it out of my face and already find myself stuttering over my words.

"Me? Uh...nothing. I mean, Uh...nothing interesting, at least. I mean...uh...I like...movies?"

I'm an idiot.

He raises his eyebrow and blows smoke into the air. The smell of tobacco causes me to cough a bit, but I just decide to ignore it for now.

James says nothing more to me for an agonizingly long time. All he does is finish the rest of his cigarette while he scrolls through his phone. I realize that we're really getting nowhere with this assignment, but I'm unable to focus with him in the room. I had already made a fool of myself once, and I definitely don't want to do that again. I start to think that maybe it's too late already; maybe he already thinks that I'm an idiot. I clear my throat as I stand up. "I'm gonna head to the bathroom real quick." I say before I quickly excuse myself. He watches as I leave the room, but he turns his attention back to his phone.

I quickly make my way to the bathroom and shut and lock the the door behind me. With a sigh, I lean back against the door and stare at myself in the mirror. Pale skin...blue eyes...black hair... I look like a goddamn vampire, and not even the attractive kind.

I suck in a deep breath and try to calm my pounding heart. My dream was to be alone with James for a while, but this is not going the way I had hoped. Still, just looking at him had made me awfully needy. I had been feeling particularly hornier than normal as of lately, but being around him didn't seem to help my predicament. I can't get him out of my mind, and to think that he's just in the next room. As if it had a mind of its own, my hand slithers down my body and finds its way between my legs. I don't even realize that I'm touching myself until I hear muffled laughing coming from my room.

'Strange,' I think to myself. 'What's he laughing at?'

I immediately stop my own hand and crack the door open just a little so I can hear more clearly, but the laughing stops. I decide to exit the bathroom and head back into my room where I find James sitting on my bed and scrolling through my- my phone!

"James, what are you-"

I'm immediately cut off when I finally find out what he was laughing at. Displayed on my phone screen, for all the world to see, was a hardcore gay porno. James turned to me with a sly grin on his face. "I didn't take you to be into this kind of thing, Matty."

I stumble back as the blood rushes to my face. My heart hammers painfully against my chest so loud that I can almost hear it. "Y-you went through my browsing history..." I mutter, my eyes wide with shock and embarrassment.

"Of course I didn't. This was already left open. You really should be a bit more careful with this stuff, Matty. Some may take you as a bit of a perv."

James's grin doesn't even falter as he says that, and I'm stuck speechless. I feel like I can't even breath and I instinctively back up as I watch him close the tab and stand up. His piercing, mischief-filled eyes meet my shy ones as he slowly approached me. "Oh, now, don't tell me. You're gay, aren't you?" He asks.

I bite down hard on my bottom lip and stare down at the ground, but I'm soon forced to look up at his face again when he grabs my chin in his strong hand. This takes me by surprise, my heart is now going a thousand miles per hour.

I open my mouth to try and deny everything, but all that I can manage is incoherent stuttering. This seems to annoy him, and so he places a finger against my lips. I immediately shut up, but his sudden strange actions confuse me, and even scare me a little.

"Y'know, you don't gotta worry about that. I'm into dudes too, y'know?" He tells me.

That statement alone sent me into silent hysterics. It all made sense now; why he always denied girls, and why I've never seen him around with a girlfriend. The guy was gay all along.

I clear my throat and try to collect my thoughts, but the way his eyes stare into me turn me into a stammering mess. "I-I..I had no idea...I-I-I thought that..I- uh.."

"No idea? I certainly thought that you had some idea. I've been noticing the way you've been lookin' at me, Matthew." He says, that smirk remaining on his handsome, yet intimidating face.

Hearing his statement, my heart stops. I thought that I had been stealthy whenever I checked him out all along, but now finding out that he knew, I wish I can just disappear right where I stand.

I look away, my pale face now a bright red, my clammy hands clenching and unclenching as my nerves skyrocket. This assignment is definitely not going as how I imagined it would be.

"Y'know, you don't gotta be embarrassed, Matty. In fact, I'm real glad that I finally found another dude that's into dudes. This school's filled with nothin' but a buncha straight guys, soooo...you can imagine that I've been gettin' a little desperate."

"D-desperate?" I repeat. His hand still held my jaw in a firm, yet painless grip. Have I always fantasized about being in the same room as James? Yes. Have I always wanted to have sex with him? Yes. Was I extremely horny right now? Yes. Did I imagine that he would be this forward and controlling, and so suddenly? Not in a million years. However... did I like it? I wasn't sure.

I'm soon met with that terrifyingly beautiful grin and those piercing blue eyes that seem to stare right into my very...shriveled and embarrassed soul. I open my mouth, but I can't form any words. All the sounds and letters are suddenly jumbled in my head in a panicked mess, leaving me unable to make anything of them.

My heart finally calms when he let go of my face. I can still feel that tingling and warmth from when he had it in his grip. I swallow nervously as I stare up at him.

"Sorry. I shoulda figured a shy one like you wouldn't be into fucking." He says as he takes a small step back, but he doesn't look away from me for even a second, and even with the words he said, I still feel like I'm melting under that strong gaze.

I quickly attempt to collect myself, but, yet again, I just turn into a stumbling mess. "No! It's fine! I-I mean, it's not like I don't want t-...I-I just thought that you were straight! I..wait, no.. I mean, I just..never took you as gay...Uh... b-but you definitely are! Not that you look gay- No! That's not what I meant. I...uh...I..mmh!"

His hand clamps over my mouth to shut me up, and suddenly my heart returns to its rapid beating.

"You're talking too much." James muttered as he shook his head. "It's no fun when they talk too much. They start to get reaaaal annoying. Now..." As he trails off, his free hand goes to rest on my pounding chest and slowly down my abdomen. I can't even process what was happening. Being so close to him is making me panicky, but excited all at the same time. It's a strange mixture, but somehow, it works together. Even this slight touch from him is sending tingles all throughout my body, and my pussy craves for his attention.

"You wanna fuck, don't you, Matty?"

I can't tell if he's flirting with me, or interrogating me, but I feel compelled to say yes. It's as if even if I tried to lie and say no, he'd be able to tell. I nod against his hand, and that sly grin returns to his face.

Before I even realize it, his free hand shoots back up and unzips my hoodie within a matter of seconds. I feel paralyzed; my heart is pounding and my hands are clammy, and the mixture of fear and excitement buzzes through my head like a swarm of hungry wasps.

The next thing I know, his lips are on my neck, kissing and sucking the skin as if it were his last meal. "M-mmh.." I whimper against his hand, but he shuts me up by clamping painfully tight. "Shut up." He whispers against my neck. His breath felt hot against my skin, and I can easily smell the tobacco in it.

I'm left standing here, forced into silence while his lips ravaged my skin. With his hand over my mouth, he tilts my head to the side so he has more room to work. I can easily feel his stubble tickling my neck and all I wish to do is moan out my pleasure, but I stay quiet. My eyes shut in a wince as he sucked a painful hickey, leaving an obvious mark against my pale skin. I can't help but whimper against his hand, "Mmh.."

"I thought I told you to stay quiet." He hisses as his hand moves down from my mouth to grip my jaw, forcing me to look up at him. I wince, "S-sorry." I breathe out. My body squirms helplessly between the wall and his body, and I'm unable to tell the difference between my nerves and my arousal at this point.

Suddenly, I can feel his hands grip onto my shoulders as he forces me to turn around, my back now facing him. He presses me up against the wall and I can feel his lips lingering over the back of my neck.

"James-"

"Hush." He snaps.

I stand still as he pulls my hoodie off and drops it to the floor, and now I can feel his hands running over my body. I bite down hard on my bottom lip as I feel my heart pounding against my chest, and the heat starting to get worse down there. I let out the deep breath that I'd been holding as his hand trailed down my back.

I caught his smirk out of the corner of my eye. "You've never fucked before, have you?" His face is so close to me that I can feel his lips brushing against my cheek as he asked that question. All I'm able to do is feebly shake my head while his hands snake beneath my t-shirt. I can feel his growing bulge press against my ass and the softest moan escaped my lips. "Aah..."

"Oh, you like that, don't you?" He whispers in my ear. I nod helplessly, unable to move between him and the wall. His hands slowly snake their way up to my chest, but they stop suddenly when they feel something they weren't expecting. "What th-.. What is this?"

Shit. I've been caught. I probably should've told him that I was trans in the beginning, but that somehow completely slipped my mind. "U-um..." I'm too afraid to speak as he stepped away, and I hesitantly turn to face him. My face is red in embarrassment as I cross my arms over my chest.

"What the hell you gotta binder on for?" He asks. His voice sounds painfully stern and demanding, and I find myself unable to look at him.

"Um...I-I...I-I'm...uh..." All I can manage are feeble stutters. That's it. I'm done. He's never gonna want to talk to me again. He's probably disgusted with me by now.

"You're not a dude, are you?"

His words sting and I find myself wincing at the sheer thought of what he might do next. I'm ready for him to storm out, or yell at me, or both. I nod ever so slightly, unable to meet his gaze. I bite down on my lip again as I shamefully stare at my feet. "I-I'm sorry...I...I should've told you..." I mumble.

He's silent for only a short moment, but to me, it feels like an agonizingly long hour. I wait for him to say something, whether it be a scolding, or insults, or shouts. Anything. Instead, my ears are met with something that I don't expect him to say at all.

"Well, I never fucked a guy with a pussy before. This'll be interesting."

My eyes shoot up to look at him again, and I watch as he approaches me with that terrifyingly sexy smirk on his face yet again.

As he approaches, I back up against the wall and he presses his body against mine. I can really feel his bulge press up against my crotch, and it makes my body burn with need. His lips latch onto my neck again while his hands slither back underneath my shirt. "Oh god..." I whimper as the tip of his tongue teases the sensitive skin.

I suck in a sharp breath when I feel one of his hands snake down my body and slip down beneath my jeans. His fingers teased my swollen clit through the fabric of my boxers, and I feel as if I could cum right now, but the pleasure soon ceases when he removes his hand. "Well, well, someone's wet. You gettin' a little excited, Matty?" He murmurs against my ear. I nod sheepishly and try desperately to grind against him to get that pleasure back, but he steps away from me. I can feel his hard gaze linger over my body and that feeling of self consciousness quickly returns. "Get on the bed." He commands.

Just the way he says that sends shivers down my spine and I feel compelled to obey. Quickly, I scramble onto the bed and lie back, using my elbows to keep myself upright. I watch nervously as he crawls up next to me, his piercing eyes not looking away from me for even a second.

His hand snakes its way back into my jeans and begins to tease my pussy again. I had already soaked through my boxers just from the sheer excitement, but now that he's finally touching me again, I find myself falling apart.

"Fuck." I gasp. His touches are light, but I'm so horny at this point that even the slightest touches felt like strong jolts of pleasure.

"You've been wanting this for quite a while, haven't you?" He asks me. I nod slightly as I watch his hand move down in my pants. It moves underneath my boxers and touches my bare pussy, his fingers becoming soaked immediately.

My mouth hangs agape and my eyes slide shut while I allow him to touch me down there. One of his fingers slides inside my pussy, and I find myself moaning when he curls his finger to touch my g-spot. "Oh god...James..."

"Shut up." He growls. I immediately shut my mouth, but occasionally, a soft moan or two escapes, though he doesn't seem to mind.

He fingers me hard for what felt like forever, but really it had only been a few minutes. Every time I come close to cumming, he stops for a minute, and then he continues again. His finger ravaged me, rubbing up against my most sensitive spot at such a fast and hard pace. I grip the sheets as my body writhes helplessly. Even I had never tried to finger myself this hard before, so all of these intense sensations were so new to me.

"Fuck...James...oooh...god, you're fingering me so hard..." I gasp between each of the loud moans that escape my mouth.

He smirks as he pulls his finger out of my pussy and slowly begins to tease my clit. "Yeah, you like that, don't you?" He says. I nod helplessly as I glance up at him. His piercing blue eyes are staring right into me, and it's as if he can easily see what I wanted just by looking at me.

He removes his hand from my pants and I watch in anticipation as he begins to unbutton his own. I can easily see the large bulge of his crotch now, and with every tiny movement of his fingers, my heart pounds faster. After unzipping his jeans and lowering down the waistband of his boxers, his cock springs out, and my heart stops. His dick is huge; I can only assume that it's at least seven to eight inches in length, incredibly thick, and circumcised.

Before I even realize what's happening, his hand grips my hair and pulls my head down to his cock. I stare at it with wide eyes and watch as it already starts to drip precum.

"Suck." He commands.

I look up at him with a shy gaze. "I...I-I...but I've never- Mmph!" Before I can finish my sentence, he forces his dick into my mouth to shut me up. I begin to suck almost immediately, and although it's my first time, he begins to moan in approval. "Fuck...that's it. Take it down your throat." He groans as his hand grips tightly to my hair.

I gag slightly as he tries to force it deeper down my throat, but I take in a deep breath through my nose and relax my throat. I suck obediently, and I take my time to make sure I won't accidentally catch him with my teeth. He tilts his head back and closes his eyes, his breath coming out heavy and ragged. "Thaaat's it. Keep going. Aah fuck, you're good at that." He murmurs breathlessly.

I can taste the slight traces of precum and sweat, and my head is swimming with desire and lust. The sounds that he's making only encourage me to keep going, and so I do. I bob my head up and down, making sure that my tongue ran along the underside of this cock and coating it with saliva. I feel as if I could do this all day, but that wish is soon bashed when he grips my hair and pulls my head back. I gasp when my mouth is finally free of his throbbing member, and I take a moment to catch my breath. "That's enough. I only need it a little wet." He tells me.