Mature Man & Maiden Maureen Ch. 18

Even though there was only a two year difference in age between the women, it was obvious that Colleen was the more mature of the two. It was a relief that I didn't have to slap her ass, squeeze her tits, pull, and twist her erect nipples, and pull her hair as hard as I could. I was glad to have a fairly, normal, sexual relationship with her, although having sex with someone half my age is not really normal. It is un-fucking-believable.

'Quick someone get the smelling salts. Mark has passed out again. C'mon, Mark, snap out of it. Get back in there and fuck her. We know you can do it. Mark, Mark, Mark, can you hear me,' I imagined someone asking that of me?'

# # #

Yet, back in the deep recesses of my mind, I wondered if Maureen knew that I had sex with her sister. I wondered if she knew that I continued to have sex with her best friend, Colleen. If she did know, I wondered how she felt about me going on with my sexual life without her. Perhaps, if there was a reason for her to haunt me, it would be because I had threesome sex with Gwen and Colleen.

Oh, lucky me, the thought of being haunted by Maureen was funnier than scary. Yet, I knew that all of this was coming to an end. Soon, I'd be alone and lonely, again. Soon, I'd welcome her ghostly spirit to keep me company.

I imagined being Topper from the 50's show, Topper, with Leo G. Carroll as Cosmo Topper, Ann Jeffrey's as Marion Kirby, and Robert Sterling as George Kirby. Only Topper could see and talk to his two friendly ghosts. I imagined Maureen haunting me and only I and only the dogs could see and hear her.

'How are you, Maureen. You look lovely today,' I imagined saying to her.

Unfortunately, after having sex with these three lovely, young women, I may be unable to have a normal relationship with a woman my age. What a cruel joke it is to have these women practically throw themselves at me, then to have them fade away? Something that I may never experience again, I didn't want Colleen to leave me alone to solely rely on sexual gratification from my right hand and/or from women my own age?

Then, I thought about Carol, again. She's my age. She's fifty-years-old. She's not only good-looking but also, she as sexy as she is shapely. Plus, she has big tits. I love big breasted women.

Yet, I didn't understand the nude beach thing. I could see Gwen being a nudist but not Maureen. I guess they weren't embarrassed and/or ashamed to be seen naked in public. I only wished that I could have gone with the three of them to a nude beach. That would be so sexually exciting to be naked in public not only in front of Maureen but also her sister Gwen, and her mother, Carol.

# # #

'There I go again thinking of Carol,' I thought.

Yet, how hot would that be to make out with her while feeling her through her clothes? How hot would that be to slowly undress her? After Gwen showed me the photos of her mother in her bra and panties, topless, and naked, how hot would that be to see her in her bra and panties, topless and, then, naked again? Then, something that I couldn't even imagine, how hot would that be to have sex with her? As horny as I was alone, I'd love to have sex with Carol.

Before 23-year-old Gwen came into my life and 25-year-old Colleen reappeared, when I was alone and lonely, I suddenly felt old. Without them here, the house felt empty. The joy and the laughter that filled me up completely last weekend was now gone from me. The quietness of this big, empty house was a constant reminder of how alone and lonely I was. Every day quickly became another mundane day with the same, dull routine.

It was as if someone had made their wish and blown out the candles at a birthday party and merrymaking was over that quickly. All of that buildup, the Happy Birthday song was sung, the presents were opened, the cake was eaten, and now the guests were gone. The party was over. The sting of reality hurt more without having someone here to share my life. Everyone needed someone in their life. I had Maureen in my life and would have had a son until they both unexpectedly and tragically died.

It felt as if it was closing time at the bar when the bright lights go on and it is time to go home. The reality of the outside world that lurked outside of the bar and that hid in the dark recesses of the dimly lit, expansive room now shoved me back from my brief escape from reality. It was the same feeling when I'm out in the street half drunk at 1 am and don't want the party to end, but everyone has gone home and I'm alone.

All of my friends have wives with kids and families. Seemingly, everyone has someone in their lives but me. It's tough to party when the party is over and when there's no more people there to celebrate with you. That's when you really feel alone and lonely.

# # #

I never felt drunk when partying, that is, until I'm alone. Once alone with my bad self, I feel sick, tired, disorientated, and don't want to be alone. I never want to be alone with my bad self. I don't want to drink alone. Yet, after Maureen, Colleen, and Gwen left, I was alone. As if stumbling home drunk and disoriented, if that's my life after the loss of Maureen, and the abandonment of Colleen, and Gwen, then this is my reality and I hate it.

I hate living alone. I hate being alone. I'm the type of man who needs a woman in my life. Suddenly, I felt like Michael J. Fox in Jay McInerney's Bright Lights, Big City, when Pheobe Cates as Amanda Conway, his model of a wife, dumped him. He was so alone that only the smell of fresh bread from the bakery in the early morning hours returned him back to reality.

Now that Gwen and Colleen had come and were gone, in my case, instead of the smell of freshly baked bread, I missed the smell of Maureen. I missed her perfume and her deep, wet kisses. I missed the touch and the feel of her. She was my anchor. Now, with me adrift at sea, there's no one to rescue me. With no one left to steer my ship, I'm heading for the rocks.

'God, help me,' I thought. 'Save me. I'm drowning.'

No matter the suffering sorrow that I felt from Maureen dying, I didn't want the candles blown out, yet. First with the departure of Gwen and now Colleen, I didn't want to be lit up in the bright light while left standing out front on the sidewalk. As if standing outside while looking through a window, I didn't want to watch other people having a good time when I was home alone and lonely.

After reveling in all this sexual, social, and fantasy activity, I feared being alone. In the dark recesses of my mind, when I was fucking Gwen and making love to Colleen, loneliness still haunted me. Then, the sudden quiet when everyone is gone, finally, is deafening and debilitating. Loneliness is like a hunger that is never satisfied until I have someone in my life, again. Loneliness weakened my spirit like Kryptonite weakened Superman.

I didn't mind looking in the mirror before, especially as a young man, but now, as an older man, I don't want to see my reflection anymore. I'm tired of seeing my sad face. I hate my image.

I hate having mirrors in my house that lurk unexpectedly in every room and that come to life as soon as I turn on the light. Now, never turning on a light, spiting only myself, I walk around in the dark. Sometimes, as if I'm a burglar, so that I don't trip over something, I walk with a flashlight.

# # #

'What happened to me,' I thought? 'I blinked and 25 years had passed me by. All that I did was blink.'

I went to sleep and closed my eyes. Then, when I opened them, instead of being twenty-five-years-old, I'm fifty-years-old. Where did the time go? Where did the last twenty-five years of my life go? Sometimes too drunk to remember, I don't remember.

Why couldn't I have met Maureen or Colleen or Gwen then? Ah, they weren't even born yet? Yes, of course, I know that.

Then, why could I not have been born later? It's not fair. This sucks. This really sucks. I don't want to go home, live alone, and be alone with bad myself. I'm sad. I'm lonely. I want to party. I miss Maureen.

I wanted to have slow, passionate sex with Colleen that would last forever. I wanted to make love to her instead of fucking her. I needed to know if there was someone else and something else that would take me to the next level with her. I needed someone in my life that would endure the length of time. Yet, even though the sex we had was hot, magical even, it paled in comparison to the sex that I had with Maureen.

'Maureen, I miss you. I'll always love you,' I thought.

# # #

I loved Colleen but not in the same way that I loved Maureen. I know now that I'll never replicate what I had with Maureen with Colleen. My love affair with women was over and my heart died when Maureen died.

I cringed at the thought of being alone and lonely for the rest of my life. Suddenly, I saw myself as an embittered, old man, a recluse who lived alone. I can't be alone. I can't live alone. I needed a woman in my life.

How awful to have no one in my life and to be alone with my twisted thoughts all day, every day? How awful to have no one else to ponder, care for, talk to, worry about, laugh with, and relax with over a cup of coffee? How awful it is to be me,' I thought while feeling sorry for myself?

With the tragic and sudden death of her, her life short lived, the love affair that I had with Maureen was over before it even started. With Colleen, Maureen's best friend, she was able to understand my loss. I looked to Colleen to get me through my grief, but now she's gone, too.

Why did she return? Why did she come back to tease me with her beauty, her sexuality, and her charm? Now, that she had come and gone again, I wish she had stayed away because the pain of her leaving the second time is worse than the first time that she left. The loneliness that I feel now is more severe than I felt before.

She was so young and so beautiful, surely not as beautiful as Maureen, but I could have loved her, maybe, one day. If only she had stayed for a while longer, another day, then another week, a month, and a year would have passed. Surely, then, I would have fallen in love with her and she may have fallen in love with me.

Now, she's gone, too. Maureen, Gwen, and Colleen are all gone and I'm alone with the dogs, Missy, and Polo. Yes, I love the dogs, but they're not a fair exchange for having hot, sex with young women. I miss having a woman in my life who has big tits. I love tits. I love touching tits, feeling tits, fondling tits, and sucking nipples.

'Tits, tits, tits,' I thought. 'I wonder if Carol will allow me to see, touch, and feel her naked breasts. With her going to nude beaches with her daughters, maybe, she'll walk around my house naked in front of me. How hot would that be to see Maureen's and Gwen's mother naked?'

# # #

It was almost 9 pm when Colleen drove away Sunday night. Except for the dogs, I was alone, again. Only, this time was different. This time, I felt weirdly unsettled. Maybe, because the house was alive with life, with Gwen and Colleen, and now, with them gone, the house was suddenly dead and deathly quiet.

This time was worse than before. Strangely enough, eerily spooky, there was an uneasy eeriness to the house. It was an intangible and an unexplained feeling that stuck to the walls, clung to the floor, and hung from the ceiling like electro-magnetically charged dust. Never have I felt like this before, especially in my own house. I was suddenly afraid to be in my own home.

I felt it when sitting in my chair watching television. I felt it when lying in bed before closing my eyes and falling asleep. I even felt it when sitting on the toilet and/or when taking a shower. It felt like someone was there staring at me and watching me. It felt as if someone was standing behind me. It felt as if someone was looking over my shoulder. I wondered if it was Maureen. I wondered if she had come to visit me and to see if I was doing okay without her. Perhaps, now that Gwen and Colleen were gone, she'd show herself to me.

The dogs felt it, too. They were ill at ease and restless. They paced around the house whining. They wouldn't lie down. It freaked me out when they sat straight up wagging their tails while staring up at the ceiling or turning their head from side to side while looking up at the wall.

'Why are they doing that,' I thought? 'Do animals see something that I can't? Do they know something that I don't know? Can animals feel something that I can't feel? Do they know that Maureen is here?'

# # #

Suddenly, I was afraid. I felt a ghostly presence as if there was someone here. Instead of turning off all the lights and walking around in the dark with a flashlight, I turned on all the lights.

Making me feel uncomfortable, the dogs preferred staying outside than being indoors. In and out, as soon as I put them out, they wanted to come back inside. They were just as restless as I was.

I really felt alone without having a young, naked woman. I wished Colleen was still here. I'd even be happy to put up with Gwen's need for physical pain, sexual self-abuse, and punishment as part of her rough sex for me not to be alone. Nonetheless, I was glad that I had the dogs to occupy me and to take my mind off whatever ghostly spirit was haunting me.

I've never believed in the paranormal. I've never been to a psychic. I've never had my palm read or my fortune told. Definitely, I'm not one who believed in ghosts, but if I did, I would have thought that Maureen's spirit was here. After watching the dogs reacting to something that they could feel and see, I could feel what they were sensing but I was unable to see what they were seeing. I believe in ghosts now.

For sure, something or someone was haunting me. Perhaps, Gwen and/or Colleen brought Maureen home to me. I wondered, again, if the dogs could see her. I wondered why I couldn't see her. I wondered if she was really here or if it was wishful thinking and my overactive imagination.

Maybe, to deliver the energy of Maureen was the underlying reason for Gwen's and Colleen's visits. Maybe, Maureen is not dead in the way that I think of death and dying. Maybe, she existed and is alive in another dimension. Maybe, she's watching me and can hear me but I can't see or hear her. That's ridiculous, isn't it?

"Maureen, if you're here," I said looking around the room while looking up at the ceiling. 'I miss you. I love you, baby. Show me your tits," I said with a laugh.

As soon as I said that I felt foolish. Yet, saying what I felt made me feel better. Hoping that she could hear me, I wanted her to know that I missed her and loved her.

"So, what's it like being dead," I asked while talking to her as if she was in the room with me? "What does Heaven look like? Has God turned you into a red haired angel with huge breasts?"

Secretly, I hoped she'd answer me. I hoped to have a conversation with her. I not only wanted to talk to her but also, I wanted her to talk to me.

"Show yourself to me. Let me see you," I said.

In the way that if you say Beelzebub three times and the Devil will appear, I wondered if there were magic words to say for a spirit to show themselves.

# # #

I figured that she was with God and in Heaven. Waiting for a sign from her, I continued staring up at the ceiling while looking around the room. I continued talking to her while hoping that she could hear me and would answer me. Maybe, something would come through from the other side, and from her to me.

Listening, for any indication that she was there with me, I strained to hear a whisper, anything. I jumped when Missy's tail knocked an empty beer can from the coffee table. Oddly enough, the dogs were ill at ease, too.

They continued their annoying and unsettling behavior. They wouldn't settle down. They continued pacing back and forth. Then, they walked to the back door again. They stood by it until I opened the door to the fenced in yard and let them out again for the twentieth time today. Their anxious behavior was weird, so weird.

'I need a drink,' I thought.

Yet, not wanting to drink alone and not wanting to get drunk again, I promised myself to have only one drink. I broke open my scotch, the good stuff, the Glenlivet, 21-years-old. I poured myself a double.

Ah, if only I had a hot, young blonde or a sexy, young redhead with big tits here with me now, I could do her proud. Then, I thought of Gwen. Suddenly, even with her need for physical pain and hurtful punishment, I missed her.

# # #

"Good evening," I said acting foolish and pretending that I was meeting a young, big breasted woman for the first time.

I slowly sipped my scotch.

"My name is Mark. What's your name young lady? Emma? That's a lovely name for such a beautiful woman. Would you like to accompany me home and fuck my brains out? You would? Wonderful. Let's go."

While continuing to slowly sip my scotch, I imagined making out with this imaginary, mystery woman. I imagined touching and feeling her through her clothes while kissing her. I imagined slowly undressing her. I imagined fondling her through her bra and panties before removing them and stripping her naked. I imagined having sex with Emma, whoever she was.

# # #

Only, sadly and sexually frustratingly, I was already home and there was no one here but me and the dogs. I let the dogs in again but as soon as I did, they wanted to go outside again. I imagined that they were suddenly afraid to stay in the house as much as I was. No doubt, my deceased girlfriend, who is now a ghost, is haunting me.

I wondered if she haunted me because she was angry that I had sex with her sister. Maybe, she haunted me because I had sex with her best friend. Maybe, she haunted me because I had threesome sex with both Gwen and Colleen. Maybe, she haunted me because I had sexually inappropriate thoughts about her mother, too.

Maybe, she haunted me because I had wicked thoughts of getting her mother inebriated and helping her to bed. No doubt, Maureen knew that her mother was not only a nudist but also a whore. Perhaps, she knew that her mother would sexually seduce me as much as much as I hoped to sexually seduce her.

Maybe, Maureen already knew that her mother would want my help in undressing her. Maybe, she already knew that her mother would want me to strip her naked. Maybe, she already knew that her mother would want me to touch and feel her naked body everywhere. Maybe, she already knew that her mother would want to have sex with me as much as I'd hoped to have sex with her.

'Suck my cock, Carol. I need to cum in your beautiful mouth,' I imagined saying to her.

To be continued...