McKayla's Miracle Revisited

"I know. But that's not what I want." She turned so she was facing me. Our eyes met and my heart broke. "I want to come home one day and have you tell me again that you're pregnant. I want another surprise baby. I want to 'accidentally' knock you up and raise another wonderful child with you."

McKayla smiled wistfully. Both the options for adoption and in-vitro fertilization had been on the table at one point, but we decided against having another child when McKayla got colon cancer and it never seriously came up again.

"I want to spontaneously find out that I made you pregnant," she continued. Her eyes began to well up. She rested her head on my shoulder and we watched our daughter. "That's the only reason why I wish I we were a hetero couple."

All I could do was smile and hold her as the plane began its descent before landing at Raleigh-Durham. Our lives were full of "what ifs", but because we knew that we didn't have forever, it only made every moment that much more precious. We took Maureen out of school all the time to travel and spend as much time together as we could. For one, we could afford it. Secondly, we'd rather our daughter stand at the foot on the Lincoln Memorial or gaze up at the Sistine Chapel or walk a length of the Great Wall of China than read about them in a book.

Due to McKayla's disease, we took every opportunity we could to spend time with our friends and family. McKayla was one of those people who didn't know any strangers. She had a wide group of friends, although only a small circle of people with whom she was very close. Kevin and Melanie Westcott were two of our dearest friends. McKayla shared an apartment with him for a couple of years at college and I got to know him shortly after McKayla and I became an item.

Kevin was actually in our wedding as one of her attendants. He was a tall, good-looking guy who was in many ways McKayla's perfect match. I could tell that a part of him was in love with McKayla and had been for as long as they'd known each other, but he was smart enough to know that wasn't in the cards. Kevin told me that he was envious—not jealous—of me, but he also told me that Maureen and I were McKayla's dream come true. In his mind, she was Lily and he was Snape. I know that when McKayla died, the only people whose hearts broke more than his were me, Maureen and McKayla's parents.

When he and Melanie got married, the four of us did a lot together since Maureen and her daughter Emily were about the same age. She also had a son who was two years younger and the two of them had a son a year or so after they got married.

The four of us and our kids hung out a lot. They often came to visit us at the beach, and we would meet them at all sorts of exotic locales. We took Kevin and Melanie's kids with us to Disney World when they went on an anniversary cruise, and they hosted Maureen for month over one summer.

Usually when we went somewhere with them, the only disagreement we ever had was over who was going to foot the bill. I gave up trying to compete with McKayla and Kevin; both made check-grabbing a contact sport. I found out after this trip to Comic-Con that while we had reserved the jet, Kevin had already made arrangements to pay for our hotel rooms. He was a successful software programmer and he invested his small fortune with McKayla, who helped turn it into a not-so-small fortune.

I loved watching my wife hanging out with our friends. She seemed so alive. Her face used to light up whenever she was around other people. I knew her has outgoing and fun, but deep down she was always afraid of commitment and getting close to people, at least until we started dating. Even though she didn't get tested for the Huntington's Disease until she was in her late 20s, she always knew that there was a good chance that she'd have it, so she kept people at a short distance, and only let a select few people truly into her heart.

Kevin was one of those, and after McKayla and I got married, she got a little better about opening up to others, and so we used to go out of our way to not be cooped up in our house and see what the world had to offer.

Once our five friends were on board, we flew out to the southern California for a weekend of geek paradise. We had a wonderful time, of course, and even had the kids sleep over with us one night so Kevin and Melanie could have a nice quiet dinner up in La Jolla.

Later that weekend, to return the favour, Kevin and Melanie took Maureen with them and their three kids over night so McKayla and I could have some private time.

We soaked in a nice hot bath and drank champagne in front of the gas fireplace. McKayla spared no expense on us.

She pressed me up against the wall, kissing me passionately, as I cried out her name.

McKayla sobbed as I used my tongue on her sweet sex, bathing her clitoris with soft, gentle kisses.

I woke up before dawn, the sheets soaked with sweat. Her lovely face was buried between my legs.

Crying out in ecstasy, I pulled at her lovely mane of raven-black hair, until she finally finished me off with an earth-shattering orgasm that made me faint.

When we met the others for breakfast, a remote-controlled vibe was nestled in the slippery confines of my pussy, just to drive me crazy throughout the day.

All the while, I took a gajillion pictures, filling a small handful of SD cards, knowing that in a few years, the memories would be all I had left of her.

****************

We drove back from our lunch with Travis in silence. A couple of times, I looked over to see Maureen staring out the window lost in thought. When we got back to the house, she squeezed my hand and then retreated into her room.

"I have something for you, Mommy," my daughter said later that night.

"What is it sweetheart?"

She placed a card in a sealed envelope on the table. The number 74 was written in one corner. "Mom told me to give this to you."

I smiled to myself. Before she died, McKayla had given Maureen a giant binder full of CDs and letters. She had also made arrangements for a birthday card to be delivered by hand to our daughter each year until her death. The binder came with a specific list of life events with instructions on when to play the message she had left on the disc. There was a graduation message, a pre-wedding message, 30^th birthday message, and so on. I also knew that there was a "When you meet your father" message. I think there were about 200 in total. She had also left a pair of flash drives in a safety deposit box in case the discs were lost or destroyed.

Most of them were intended for Maureen, although every now and then, she had left one for me. I never asked Maureen what her Mom talked to her about, nor did our daughter ask me what mine were. I also knew for a fact that Maureen never watched the discs out of order, nor did she get ahead of herself.

"Do you ever date?" Maureen asked, seemingly out of the blue.

"Not much." I shrugged. If it seems like I've spent the last six years pining away for my wife, don't get the wrong impression. I have gone out a couple of times, with both men and women. Maybe I'm just paranoid, but I do worry that someone might be after me for my money.

When Maureen was growing up, I concentrated on being her mother first. I spent about two years grieving and feeling sorry for myself, even though I knew had she been there, McKayla would have smacked me around a time or seven. I didn't want Maureen to think I had moved on quickly, but nor was I fixated on living out my days in celibacy.

"Mom says to tell you to sell the house, find someone who makes you happy and make me a little brother or sister."

"I'm not selling the house, sweetheart," I smiled. After she watched the message her mom left her, Maureen always told me the same things. "And I'm too old to be having any more children."

"She said you'd say that. Again." Maureen flashed me the same smile that she shared with her mother. "So I'm supposed to tell you that Mom loves you, but she doesn't mind waiting a little longer to see you in Heaven."

My daughter bent over and kissed me on the top of my head. Then she went back to her room, and tried to cover up the fact that she had been crying.

I went over to a drawer and drew out a knife. I cut into the envelope and a picture fell out of the card. I opened it up and smiled.

In the picture, McKayla had her arms around me. She had a goofy smile on. My head was turned and I was kissing her cheek. Maureen had taken it when we had spent a month living at a villa in Rome when our daughter was eight.

My Beautiful Elven Princess,

You've taken Maureen to meet her father and I wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you. I'm so sorry that I couldn't be there with you, but I know that you were amazing with her and Travis.

I love you with all my heart and soul, and I always will.

-McKayla

PS -- Sell the house, find someone who makes you happy and go make babies.

I smile wistfully. The picture went on the refrigerator. I scribbled the date on a corner of the card the put it aside to go in the box with all of the other cards McKayla had left for me.

For a little while longer, I sat in the kitchen, listening to the sounds of the ocean coming through the open bay window. Then I stood and went into the bedroom and began digging through McKayla's closet.

"Sweetheart, I have something for you," I called. After a minute Maureen came into the bedroom. I handed her a small box, which was full of a dozen bottles of lotion.

As soon as she popped one the lid on one of the bottles, we both smiled as a wave of memories overcame us. They say that smells can trigger memories more than any other sense.

"Where did you get these?" Maureen poured a dollup out on to her hands, then took my hands in hers so we both smelled like her Mom.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. "Well, when I found out that Crabtree and Evelyn was going to stop making the vanilla, I bought up every case for five states around. There are more in the attic."

"You've been sitting on these for all these years?"

"Yeah, I guess." I smiled sheepishly. She waited a minute before speaking again.

"What would you have done if Mom hadn't died?"

"I'd be living happily ever after with the love of my life."

"What if there's another one out there?" Maureen asked. "I mean, what if you fell in love with someone else. Would Mom have been okay with that?"

"If she were alive, no," I laughed nervously. "But we knew that even if she survived the cancer again, the Huntington's Disease was going to kill her. I was probably going to outlive her by thirty or forty years. She told me many times that she wanted me to move on if I found the right person."

"So why don't you?"

"I haven't found the right person."

"Yet." Even when she was little, Maureen had a certainty to her thoughts and speech. "But if you did find someone, you'd fall in love with them, right?"

"If they were right," I said gently.

"Would you look for a man or a woman?"

"What is this? Quiz Your Mother About Her Love Life Day?" We both laughed.

"No, it's Set Your Mother Up On a Blind Date With the eHarmony Account She Doesn't Know She Has Day."

Have I also mentioned that even when she was little, I couldn't always tell when my daughter was joking? That's probably the only "gift" Maureen got from McKayla that I wish she could give back. Everything else: the intelligence, the curiosity, the drive to succeed; I can live with those and they've made her a better person. The wry sense of humour: not so much.

"You didn't!'

"Um . . . no. Not quite," she said. "Although I did mention something about setting you up to Aunt Melanie."

I sighed. Kevin and Melanie had been trying to fix me up with friends of theirs for while now. So have Ander and Brin, my brother and sister. Now that I think about it, McKayla's parents even offered to put me in touch with a nice young lady who was about my age and looking.

It's not that I am unappreciative of my friends and family, and I really do think they mean well, but why do people think that widows even want to get back "on the market"?

Maureen looked at me like she was reading my mind, something she must have picked up from her Mom. "Just so you know: If you get married again, I'll be happy as long as you're happy."

"I know you will, sweetheart." I reached out and took her hand.

"But if you meet an asshole or total bitch, I'm going to let you know it."

I wrapped my daughter in my arms and we laughed some more. She rested her head on my shoulder for a long time.

"My dad is a good guy, isn't he?"

"Yes, he is," I stroked her hair gently. "And I know he wants to be a part of your life, as much as you'll let him."

Her next words made me smile, even if they weren't necessarily true. I needed to hear them anyway. "He seems like a nice guy, but he's not in the same league as you and Mom."

****************

After that first meeting, Travis became a fixture in our lives. His wife welcomed us warmly, despite the bombshell that we had dropped on their lives. We were cordial, but neither friendly nor catty. Their children—Maureen's half-siblings—were mostly fun, although I thought they were on the spoiled side. When we got together, it was usually just the three of us, and after a couple of weeks, Maureen and Travis started spending a lot of time together with him and his family, making up for the years I had taken away from both of them.

As the summer drew to a close, I dreaded the day when my daughter was going to load up the car with her things and go back to school. I wasn't really working; if you can be 44 years old and retired, it is a pretty sweet gig. My days were spent volunteering at the Hospice House or filling in at my friend Bretlynn's consignment shop. I still traveled some, although not as much lately.

I was sitting on the back deck on a warm August afternoon when I got a text message. It was from Melanie Westcott.

Are you busy next weekend? Some girlfriends and I are headed down to the beach for some no-spouse/no-kids time. Pack a bag and bring some booze.

****************

Thanks to everyone who voted, left a comment and/or sent me an email. I have started a new series called "Tapestry", which will feature characters from some of my older stories, as well as new friends. The first chapter is called "A New Love" and picks up immediately after this story ends. If you want to see how the next chapter in Amberle's life unfolds, please give it a read!