Meet Me in the Middle

She paused a beat, then glanced at the front of his bathing suit, "Or is it?"

His expression was priceless.

"Relax, tiger! It was just a joke." She leaned over and kissed him.

Their lunchtime idyll was broken ten minutes later when they heard voices on the trail. Miranda quietly leaned over and pulled on her sweatshirt and they spent the rest of their meal talking with the six college students who pulled into view.

The ride home was quiet, but it was a more peaceful quiet than the start of the trip out. As they neared his house, he spoke up.

"Would you like to get some dinner?"

She shook her head. "I'm not really hungry yet."

"Okay. Would a beer taste good? I've got some in the fridge. If you get hungry later I could throw something on the grill."

She smiled. "Is this a subtle way of telling me that you'd like this date to go a bit longer?"

"I'm just sending appropriate feedback signals like you said."

She rolled her eyes as he smirked. "A cold beer with you would taste great. And I wouldn't even mind a little making out to go with that beer" — a chuckle broke out of him — "but, Richard, that's as far as I will go, in case you were hoping for more."

"Oh. That's fine."

She braked to a stop for a red light and put her right hand down on his forearm before looking him in the face. "Disappointed?"

"I'm good."

"Are you gonna start lying to me?"

He shrugged. "Okay, I wondered, maybe even hoped ... but I didn't have expectations."

"Do you feel that I led you on back there?"

He shook his head. "No."

She searched his eyes for a second then nodded.

The light turned green and she accelerated, pulling into the left lane to go around the slower car in front of them. When she was past she said, "I want to tell you a story.

"Once upon a time about eight years ago there was this young woman who met a handsome lawyer who seemed pretty cool. They dated for several weeks and eventually he asked her to spend the night, which she did. Now — "

He interrupted, "Randy, whatever kind of 'just looking to get in her pants' jerk he was, that's not my style."

"Hush! First, I know you're not like that. Second, he wasn't a jerk just looking to get into my pants. He actually was a very nice guy. Third, you don't know where this story is going.

"There's another character in our little story, the former boyfriend. He had gone into the service a year and a half before, and despite them hooking up on leaves a few times, the distance thing kinda put the kibosh on the relationship and they broke up.

"Now, to fully comprehend the next part of the story, you have to understand that our girl was as stupid as only a twenty-two-year-old living for the first time away from home and college can be. In fact, probably more so because she had always been the monogamous and long-term-boyfriend sort of girl.

"The final nail in that former relationship's coffin had happened a couple of months before. The ex-boyfriend had called from who-knows-where to tell her that he had been uncomfortable a bit and had finally gone to a doctor and — oopsie — turned out he had picked up a case of the clap somewhere.

"He said he was sure it wasn't her because symptoms come on pretty quickly, and she'd have known by now, and he was guessing it was after the last time they had hooked up. However, to be safe, if she started getting any burning down there or leakage — that was the word he used, leakage — " she said with distaste, "then she should probably get checked."

Miranda took her eyes off the road to see how Richard was taking this. He was watching her but his face gave nothing away.

"Now, up to that point, we don't have real stupidity. She had no way of knowing he was cheating. Where the stupidity comes in is that she listened to what he said. Oh, she ripped him a new asshole, and told him to fuck off and die, and hoped that his whores gave him something that made his pecker fall off. But bottom line, she listened to him! Literally. It had been months and everything was totally normal with her, so ...

"But there was one little fact that she didn't know: fifty percent of all women are asymptomatic for gonorrhea. She didn't know that fact right up until Mr. Lawyer — remember him? — wondered why the hell it burned when he took a leak one morning.

"Fixing the problem was only mildly uncomfortable. At least it was fixable, which isn't always the case anymore. However, having the conversation with her new guy was humiliating and, after the yelling was done, the end of that relationship. It was mortifying.

"So, she decided that, no matter what it did to the ego of some future guy in her life, or how much it ruined the mood of the moment, or how hot to trot anyone was, she was never going to be in that position again. She'd be sure about a guy first. And she meant that in both the emotional and physical senses of the word.

"The end."

The drove in silence for a bit until she said, "Say somethi — " just as he was saying, "I understand."

"What do you understand?"

"Why you're drawing the line about this evening."

She nodded. She was normally a relaxed driver but he noticed that her hands were tense on the wheel.

"And I'm sorry that happened to you."

She gave another short nod.

"And, hopefully, that boyfriend's dick did fall off," he said, trying to lighten things.

She didn't even respond to that one.

"Aaaannd," this came out much more slowly, "there's something else you want me to say or talk about, but I don't have the foggiest idea what it is."

She was intently watching the absolutely minuscule amount of traffic around them as if a twenty-car pileup was imminent and only her vigilance would allow them to survive.

"Are you revolted or creeped out?" she asked finally.

He stared at her in disbelief. "What? God, of course not! It could have happened to anyone. I mean, if you told me you had it now, I might be nervous because I don't know much about it and we've been kissing. Now though? No! You didn't handle the news so brilliantly, but we all did stupid things at that age."

Her shoulders visibly relaxed back into the seat. She glanced in the rearview mirror and then abruptly turned the car over onto the shoulder, jerking to a stop.

He put his hands up in defense. "Hey! I'm not lying, Randy!"

She put her finger over his lips and shook her head to silence him. "Richard Mason, have you had sex recently, like the last two or three months?"

"Umm, no."

She watched his face and nodded. "Have you had STD tests since the last time you did have sex?"

"Also no."

"Then I propose that you take some time this week and run down to the clinic on Diamond Spring and get that done. Then, assuming it's all negative — "

"It will be," he interrupted.

"I sure it will." She looked at him seriously. "And Richard, just so you know where I stand: short of something like HIV, even a positive result isn't a deal breaker. It just delays things.

"Anyway, assuming it's all negative, you present yourself at my door a week from Saturday evening with whatever you need for a few days. Pajamas are entirely superfluous to requirements."

He smiled. "Yes, ma'am!"

She echoed his smile and pulled back onto the road.

They were arriving back in Underwood when he spoke up. "If I asked something similar of you, tests I mean, would you be offended?"

"Absolutely not. I got tested since the last time there was anyone, but if you want to verify, I'll go with you, no problem."

"No, that's okay." She could see a thought occur to him. He turned to look out the side window but she could see a grin reflected in the glass.

"What?"

"Nothing," he said nonchalantly.

"Seriously, what's so funny?"

"Nothing!"

"Richard!"

"Nothing!"

She gave him a look but turned back to the road.

There was no way was he going to tell her that what he heard in her answer was, "No, I haven't been sleeping with Mr. Sunday these last months."

Twelve days later, a dinner and a movie having occupied the intervening free days, she opened her door to a knock.

"Ms. Patterson? I'm Officer Mason with the Toontown PD." He held up a badge he had swiped from Charlie's toy box.

"What can I do for you, Officer?"

"Well, ma'am, I have here a search warrant." He plastered a typewritten piece of paper headed "Riverside Health Clinic" up against the glass of her storm door, "It allows me to enter the premises. Specifically, it allows access to the bedroom, the couch, the shower, and perhaps the kitchen table."

"You're such an ass!" she laughed and opened the door.

"The lasagna was great," he said, pushing back his plate.

She dimpled with pleasure. She didn't pretend to be a great cook but she had made her mother's recipe which she thought was pretty good. "Praise from the chef is always appreciated."

For his part, he was nervous. He hadn't been celibate in the years since Ellen but it had been a while. Moreover, this was someone he cared about a lot more than most, and the thought of later tonight was simultaneously exhilarating and a little bit intimidating.

However, as she gathered up their plates and took them to the sink, the movement of her body under the sun dress brought the exhilaration to the fore. Especially as he watched the gentle sway that made it clear she wasn't wearing a bra underneath.

She turned back and met his eyes, seeing the excitement there. She grinned as she said, "I was thinking the table." Before his brain could process what that meant, she reached up and slid the shoulder straps down, shrugged her shoulders, and let the dress pool around her ankles.

Not just no bra ... no nothin'.

Richard stood to meet her as she sashayed over. He pulled her close up against him and lowered his mouth onto hers. They had kissed before, heavy make-out kisses. Now, however, the feel of bare skin under his arms and hands, the firm press of breasts against his chest and the thought that there were only a couple layers of cloth between his hips and those pressing into him dialed his arousal up to new levels.

Miranda wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him as tightly as he held her. She had spent the entire morning in a state of excitement. Once she was home, she had showered and shaved carefully, hoping that he wasn't one of those guys who wanted a woman bare down there, and then spent a half an hour choosing a dress that looked good and, more importantly, came off easily.

She felt his hand slide up from her waist to cup her breast. "You like them?" she asked.

"I love them!" he responded.

Never letting go of her, he turned her and pressed her legs back against the table.

"I was just kidding about the table! It won't hold us!"

"It doesn't have to hold us, just you," he said, as he gently pushed her chest backwards. Her hands flew back to catch herself, and moving quickly, he lifted upward on the back of her thighs, laying her flat. His foot snaked out and hooked the closest chair over and he dropped into it.

"What?"

"You know exactly what," he said with a grin as his hands gently but firmly forced her thighs apart.

He leaned forward and kissed her right leg, just above the knee, then he kissed the left. Alternating, he slowly worked his way up each thigh two or three inches at a time. Her breath was coming quicker with each passing second and he could feel her quiver each time his lips touched her. When his mouth reached the apex and he laid the last kiss right on her exposed clit, she sucked in a breath of air and held it before giving a slight moan and spreading her legs wider.

He brought his hand up her leg and coaxed a finger deep inside, surprised at how wet she was already. Turning his hand over, he began to stroke upward into her G-spot while running his tongue over the lips of her opening, ending each stroke with a light flick on her clit. Her moans began again as she rocked her hips lightly against him in time with his ministrations.

Her breathing came faster and, as he finished another flick of her button, she panted, "There, right there, please!" He focused his attention on her clit and pressed harder with his finger inside her. A muscle tremor began in her body and he felt her fingers curl into his hair.

He began to flutter his tongue against her and she began to shake. Her hips came up; her hand clenched in his hair, holding his head tightly against her; he felt her internal muscles begin to clamp down on him ... all as she gave a loud whimper of, "Oh, jeez," and surrendered herself to the orgasm.

Finally, her hand gently pushed his head back, "Stop, stop, I need a break, sensitive." He sat up and looked at her flushed face, grinning broadly. She grinned back. "You're a keeper."

She sat up and he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her chest toward him and closing his mouth on one of her nipples, rolling it between his lips.

"No," she said, pulling him off her by the hair, "not until you're naked." She scooted her butt off the table, reaching down to grab the bottom of his shirt and pull it up over his head. She left him to disentangle his arms from the sleeves as she undid his belt buckle. He pulled her chin up and invaded her mouth with his lips and tongue while she continued blindly undoing the button and zipper on his shorts.

Pulling free, she said, "Drop 'em."

When he did, she stepped back toward him and wrapped her hand around his length. His moan of enjoyment was the mirror of hers earlier.

"Your turn," she said and started to drop to her knees.

"No. Please." She looked at him in surprise: what guy on the planet didn't want this? "It's been quite a while and I won't last the first time. I'd ... I'd rather be in you for our first time, please."

She smiled at him tenderly. "Absolutely." She gently turned him by her handhold until he dropped back into the chair. Straddling his legs, she put her hands on his shoulders and slowly lowered herself down, rocking to get herself aligned properly.

"Do we need a — "

"I'm on the pill." Then she dropped her weight downward and pulled his face into her breasts.

"Richard," she said, "just go for it this time! Don't wait for me. We have the rest of the weekend."

"Richard?" It was early Sunday evening and she was lying half-draped across his body.

"Hmmm?"

"I have a standing tennis game on Monday mornings. Three options. One, I can call around tonight and find a substitute. Two, you can hang out here while I play. Three, you can come and watch."

He rolled over on his side to look at her. "Since you brought it up at all, I'm guessing that option one wouldn't be your choice."

"Not first choice, no. We're a regular group and substitutes are little awkward. But I wouldn't be upset if that's what you wanted."

"What would your first choice be?"

"If it was entirely up to me, I'd choose option two: you stay here." She glanced up to see how he took that. "Part of me would be paying attention to you and it'd distract me."

"Okay." He rolled back onto the pillow but she reached up and turned his face toward her with her finger.

"Does it make any difference in your answer when I tell you that two of the four are guys and one of them is single and I've dated him?"

He looked at her speculatively for a second without answering.

"Two dates about a year and a half ago. I didn't sleep with him. By mutual agreement just friends now. His name's Jeff. As far as I'm concerned, you and I are absolutely exclusive unless and until one of us tells the other it isn't working out."

"Then I guess it doesn't make any difference in my answer."

She smiled and put her head down on his chest. "Would you like to come and have lunch with us after?"

"You guys normally do lunch?"

She nodded.

"Nah then. Do your thing. I'll see you after."

She shook her head. "They don't need four to have lunch. If you don't want to, then I'm going to come home after the game. I wouldn't mind showing you off a little, though."

He chuckled. "Okay then."

A little while later, he said, "Will you tell me about Mr. Sunday?"

"Who?" she asked, puzzled. He just looked at her, his expression serious and intent. She understood after a few seconds and her face got equally serious as she thought about his request.

"His name is Greg. We dated for a couple of months, usually on a Sunday as you appear to have realized. I never slept with him, but I won't try to pretend it was a platonic relationship. I'm ..." she hesitated. "I'd rather not tell you any details. Not," she said quickly, "because there's anything I want to hide or am embarrassed about. It's more about respecting his privacy. Can you understand that? I'd do the same for you if we ever broke up."

"Yes."

"I was free that Sunday because I didn't say yes to any more dates with him, though I had already said yes to the baseball game. I ended it after the game, like I told you."

Richard lay there not speaking for a while. It wasn't exactly uncomfortable but she could tell something was on his mind.

Finally, "If I hadn't come along, would you still be with him?"

"He's not a threat to you."

"Well, I guess that answers the question."

"Richard!" she exclaimed, a little nervous about being forced down a conversational path that could turn bad quite quickly. "Okay, yes, I probably would still be with him. I'm a normal girl. Greg was a nice guy and I liked him. We'd been dating a while. I like sex. Put those together and there you have it. He wasn't The One but I never thought I had to be a nun until that person came along. So ... yeah."

"I thought you weren't sleeping with him."

"I wasn't. But if you hadn't come along, it would have happened. Maybe Memorial Day. If not, then after the baseball game. I mean, since you seem to want full disclosure here, a month ago, when we were broken up, I was planning that day would be a weekend."

"Broken up? Last week you said we had a fight when we didn't. Now you say we were broken up, which is the first I'm hearing about it. What the hell are you talking about?"

So, she told him what she had heard and how she felt about it: the unwillingness to date a man who frequented prostitutes, the disappointment and hurt and, finally, the discovery that she was the one in the wrong and had made a serious mistake.

"I see. I guess Ed blabbed."

"No, Richard. Another cop was in the bar that night, knew you by sight, knew her by sight, and told me. Ed did blab, but it was later, to fix things. He's why I left you that note. I realized how unfair I had been not to hear your side of the story, even if it did seem like an open and shut case to me."

She paused for a moment, rubbing her hand up and down his chest. "Richard, I'm embarrassed to ask this and I don't want to insult you, but if you — "

"I didn't sleep with her, Randy," he cut her off. "When I said I hadn't had sex in months, I wasn't lying. If you talked to Ed then you know that all I did was buy her a drink."

She sighed, reassured inside. "Again, I'm really sorry I judged you so unfairly."

Richard said nothing; he was still trying to adjust to all that had been said.

Miranda knew she needed to corral this conversation. She rolled up onto her elbow to face him, the sheet falling back from her. His eyes went down as her breasts came into view.

"Eyes up here for one second, buster, then you can go back to ogling."