Mine

WARNING: This story is more on the gentle side. It contains more romance rather than rough sexual scenes. There will be sexual scenes, yes, but the romance is mainly the part of this story. For users who are looking for something rough and dirty, this isn't the story for you. For romantics out there, I hope you like this. :)

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I've never known what love feels like. I've read about it and seen it in movies, but I've never actually felt it. I'm talking about real love. Love that's interpreted in movies and those teen fantasy novels, that's not real. Far from it.

Real love is a rare find. Real love is how my parents looked at each other, like they didn't feel that way about anyone else but each other. Real love is when someone's heart is in your hands, and yours in on that someone's hands. You'd have to grip it tightly to not let it fall and shatter when it hits the ground.

I never thought that I would feel love. Ever. But as I grew older, I realized that the person I loved with everything inside of me had been right there in my life for as long as I could remember.

The love I feel right now is sick, wrong and unnatural. Because the person who I want the most is the person I could never truly be with.

My name is Safira Morgan, and I'm in love with my brother.

You've probably heard all kinds of incest stories, which are usually of a father raping his daughter, or a son raping his mother. There were nothing pleasant about those. It's what made people think that it's sick and wrong.

But never have people thought that someone would fall in love with their own biological sibling.

Because what I feel for my brother, Matthew Morgan, is real love. I know it in my heart.

I snap out of my thoughts and realize that I've been sitting on the couch for a long while now, staring at the blank TV screen in front of me. I turn my head to glance at the clock hung on the wall. It's almost midnight. Where the hell is he?

I know that when he gets here, he's going to comment about how I shouldn't be waiting all night for him to come home, since he brought keys, yet I just can't. I can't just sleep without knowing he's okay.

I don't want what happened to our Mom and Dad to happen to him, too.

Our parents died four years go. I was only fourteen, and Mathy fifteen. He had to quit school to get a job. We had some financial help from some of our relatives from out of town, and it worked, although Mathy is now often tired.

Luckily, I believe tomorrow is his day off. I don't feel like going to school, either, so I don't think I'm even going to go. Mathy will let me stay home, I know he will. Just as long as I don't skip too often.

I glance at the clock again. Eleven forty-nine. I start to get more and more worried. Why isn't he calling? He should be calling. He always forgets to use his damn cell phone.

I was about to completely freak out until I hear a car slamming outside, and footsteps coming toward the house. I took a peak at the window and saw that it was Mathy. I exhale in relief. He's okay.

I unlock the door and open it, and I immediately yell at him. "Where were you? I was so worried!"

"Saffy, come on." He looks at me, and it pains me to see how tired he is. There are visible dark circles under his slightly bloodshot eyes. His hair is a little messy, and his button-down shirt is open at the top, revealing a little bit of his chest. "I had a lot of work. I'm sorry for worrying you, okay?"

He pulls me to a hug, and I bury my face in his chest, breathing in his warm, familiar scent. "I'm sorry for worrying too much. It's just... I was scared that..."

"Shh... I know, baby girl. I know." He kisses my hair and rubs my back softly.

I look up at him and close the door behind us. "Have you eaten yet?" I ask him.

"Yeah," he says. "I ate a few hours before. I'm still full now though."

"Well, if you get hungry later, or want a midnight snack or something, there's some leftovers in the fridge." I smile at him and then yawn.

He chuckles. A low, throaty sound that sends tingles down my spine. In a good way. "You shouldn't have stayed up waiting for me, silly."

"I couldn't sleep til I knew you were safe and sound," I say truthfully. "Tried to, but ended up tossing and turning for several minutes."

"Go sleep, Saffy. I'll be right down here." He puts a hand on the back of my head and kisses my forehead. "Love you."

"Love you too." He has no idea that I don't just mean sibling love.

He smiles at me again before walking to the kitchen, and I weakly walk up the stairs to my room. Once I'm there, I practically throw myself onto bed, and I think I fell asleep before I even landed on the sheets.

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I wake up sweating and breathing a little to heavily. Another one of those nightmares. God, I have no idea what causes them. At first I thought it was nothing, but then, the more constant they were, the more I just couldn't stand them anymore.

But there's really not much I can do about them. Maybe therapy would fix them, if I even wanted to go to therapy, which I don't.

I realize that I'd need therapy for being in love with Mathy, too. If anyone ever knows, they'd throw me straight into the loony bin. Hell, maybe there's already a cell there just for me.

I get up from bed and sigh. Standing up, I walk to the mirror and take a good look at myself. I look horrible. Some strands of my long brown hair are in weird angles, and some are clinging onto my face due to the sweating. The pink highlights in my hair are faded, and barely visible. My blue eyes are still half-open and my nightshirt is completely rumpled.

I look at my body and sigh. I guess my body isn't that bad. It's more on the average side, probably. I'm always self conscious about it, though. Especially my 32B breasts. I've had friends tell me that they're just the right size. Not too big or too small. But then again, they're friends, and sometimes they say nice things without really meaning them. Simply because they're friends and are supposed to be nice.

I shower and brush my teeth and do all of my girly morning duties. In about an hour, I'm looking a lot better. My messy, pink-streaked brown hair is now falling in loose waves down to my back. My face looks a lot more alive, though I'm not wearing any makeup. I didn't really want to, since I'm determined to stay home today.

As I step out of my room, Mathy steps out of the bathroom.

In a towel.

Seeing him like that made my breath catch. His well sculpted body was glistening and wet, and so was his hair. I've seen him shirtless many times, yet the sight of it always takes my breath away. He's muscular, yes, but more on the thin side. He has a soccer player's body, I guess you could say. Thin, but well defined and sinewy. God, how I ache to run my hands from his hard chest down to his abs.

He smiles at me once before walking into his room. My face flushes. Crap, I think I stared at him too long. Did he notice? I hope he didn't.

I walk down the stairs and head for the couch, plopping down on it and turning the TV on. Usually, old Nickelodeon shows were on at this hour. Me and Mathy always watched them together when we were little, and it's been a while since we did that.

Legends of the Hidden Temple was on, and I smile. This show was our favorite way back when. I glance behind me when I hear footsteps and see Mathy walking down the steps. He's wearing a sleeveless shirt, and it shows his biceps. Again, I try my best not to stare too intently.

He catches my eye and smiles, and then he grins cheekily as he sees what's on the TV. "Our show," he says, walking to the couch and sitting down next to me, putting an arm around my shoulders.

I lean into him, resting my head on his shoulder. He always held me like this when we're watching TV together. He still does. Old habits die hard.

We sit in silence and watch the show for a while, and then he pulls me closer and kisses my hair. "You hungry, baby girl?" he asks.

I look up at him and nod. It always makes me all fluttery inside when he calls me 'baby girl'. "Don't worry, though. I'll make myself some noodles later."

He raises his one eyebrow at me, amused. "What, you don't want me to make you noodles?"

"Well, I don't think your noodles could ever compare to mine. I am the noodle queen, after all." I grin at him.

He snorts. "I'm a way better cook than you are."

"Yeah, but not when it comes to noodles."

"You've never even tried my noodles before."

"Alright, fine. I'll give you a chance. Just this once."

He smiles and kisses my cheek, and my heart flutters. He then removes his arm from around me and stood up, heading towards the kitchen. "Don't underestimate me, sis," he says in a singsong voice, and I laugh.

As he cooked the noodles, I can smell them in the air. The scent becomes thicker and thicker, and it smelled good, making my stomach grumble. Soon Mathy's walking back to the couch, holding the plate of noodles in his one hand, and a Coke can on the other.

He gives me the plate and I take it. I look up at him to see him folding his arms, a smug expression on his face. I chuckle, and then lift the fork to my lips and taste the noodles.

God, they taste like heaven.

Suddenly I'm digging in, and I can hear Mathy laughing. In several minutes the plate is clean, and I can barely move from the couch.

He chuckles. "I told you."

"Good God, make me noodles everyday," I beg him.

He takes the plate to the kitchen to wash it, and then walks back to me. "Shouldn't you be in school?"

"Is it okay if I skip today? I mean, I didn't skip at all last week." I give him my best, watery-eyed puppy dog face, complete with quivering lips. "Please?"

"Oh, alright," he says, smiling. "It's my day off today, anyways."

"Yay," I say weakly. I finally get to spend more time with him.

Suddenly, he scoops me up in his arms, his one arm holding the back of my knees, keeping me up. I yelp and wrap my arms around him. "Mathy! You scared the hell out of me!"

He laughs. "Remember Princess and Knight?" he asks me softly, his breath warm on my cheek.

I remember that game. It was a game we used to play of me being a princess, or a damsel in distress, and Mathy as the knight in shining armor. He'd pick me up and save me from dragons, and then we'd be tickling each other senseless.

"Fear not, my princess, I shall save you!" he says in a very Disney-Prince-Charming-like tone. I giggle and hold onto him as he runs up the stairs, holding me tight to him to make sure I don't fall.

Then he throws both of us onto my bed, me still giggling. He tickles my sides, and I tickle his, too. We squirm and giggle and tickle like back when we were kids. My hands move up to tickle his neck, and then moved to the nape of his neck, remembering that as his weak spot.

"Ah!" He crashes down on me, both of us laughing hard. He looks down at me for a while, and we just stare at each other, smiling. A strand of his dark hair fell over his eyes, and I gently brushed it away.

"Mathy?" I whisper.

"Hmm?" He leans closer to me and kisses my forehead, and I bury my face in his chest.

"Could you sleep here today?"

He raises one eyebrow. "You sure?"

"Yeah, I... I've been having constant nightmares, and..."

"Alright," he says softly, holding me tighter to him.

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The rest of the day passes by uneventfully, until night came around.

I'm tired and Mathy's in the bathroom. I plop down on my bed and wait for him. A part of me hoping that he's going to sleep shirtless. God, to feel his arms around me when he's shirtless... The thought makes me tingle all over.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I hear the bathroom door opening and closing, and then his footsteps coming to my room. As he enters my room, I suck in a breath. He's shirtless.

He smiles that irresistible smile at me and I try hard not to swoon. Then he sits next to be on the bed. "You okay?" he asks, putting an arm around me.

"Yeah," I say weakly, smiling up at him. "Just tired."

He lies on his back and pulls me to him, and I rest my head on his chest. God, it feels even more amazing than I thought it would.

I suddenly feel like I should tell him how I feel. But how could I even begin to? We're biological siblings. I know that if I tell him, he'll always have a look of disgust on his face when he looks at me. Yet, not telling him is like a huge weight on my shoulder.

We lie side by side, staring at each other. My fingers suddenly trail down his chest to his abs, and I feel him tensing. My fingers stopped on his six-pack abs that feels like a washboard. "How did you get these, anyway, Mathy?" I say with a small smile.

"Well, I go to the gym a lot. Just because I work, doesn't mean I can't stay fit." He chuckles.

"No I mean, how did you get so...buff? I mean, you've always been fit, but now you're just..." God, shut up, Saffy! I'm making a total fool of myself saying these things.

"I just work out a lot, really. And play soccer."

I nod, embarrassed with myself. He's so close to me right now. If I just lean in a tiny bit closer, our lips would touch. What if I do tell him? Will he run away? Will he be disgraced to have a sister like me?

The thoughts swirl in my head, making my vision blurry with frustrated tears.

I see Mathy frowning. "Baby girl, what's wrong?"

Tears start to roll down my cheeks slowly. Mathy wipes them away, and then I bury my face in his chest again. "I don't know what to do... I'm a freak..." I sob, making his chest wet with fresh tears.

"Tell me what's wrong, Saffy." He presses his face against my hair and holds me tight.

"I can't tell you, Mathy... It's sick and wrong." I shut my eyes tightly, but it makes more tears come out.

"I'm your big brother, baby girl. You can tell me everything."

"Mathy, I... I don't love you as just a brother." I feel him go tense. Just as I expected. "I'm in love with you." It took all my might not to explode in hysterical sobs right there, since I know what's coming next. Mathy will think I'm crazy and leave me alone. Forever.

The silence after that was deafening. After a while, he finally spoke. "Wait, what?" He sounds confused.

"Don't make me repeat it," I say, sniffling. I scoot out of his arms and shift so my back is to him. "There, I told you... Now just get this over with and call me crazy and whatever else you want to do to your lunatic sister."

"Saffy..." I feel him moving closer to me, and then his arms are around my waist. "Are you sure? Is this maybe just a phase?"

"I've never been so sure of anything else in my life." I refuse to look at him. I refuse to even move an inch. "I've always crushed on you when I was little, I remember now. But not til when I was thirteen did I know for sure that I love you. More than just a brother." I sigh. "I know this sounds freaky and crazy and unnatural, but it's just how I feel."

He's silent again for a while. "We can work something out, okay? Please look at me, baby girl. I'm not going to burst off in anger or anything like that. I love you too much to do that."

"I can't look at you right now..." My voice cracked. "I can't let you look at me. I'm a fucking disgrace."

"You're not," he says, his warm breath tickling my neck. He tugs my arm softly. "Please, Saffy. Let me understand."

I finally turn around, sorrow filling me. Sorrow due to the fact that I can never have this beautiful boy who's staring at me right now. He can never be mine. "What, Mathy? What could possibly make this any better...?"

"We'll figure something out," he says in a reassuring tone, brushing a strand of my hair away from my face. "Sleep now, baby girl."

"How could you pretend like this isn't a big deal?" I look straight at him, my voice sounding strained.

"Because I don't want you to hurt over something that's not your fault."

"What do I do, though? What's there to figure out about any of this...?" I look at him desperately. "What do I do, Mathy?"

"I don't know..." He rests his forehead against mine and sighs gently. "I don't know, Saffy."

"It hurts..." I sob again. "How I feel about you, it hurts."

"I'm sorry, Saffy... I'd take it away if I could."

He could, of course. But he's too disgusted to. We don't say anything else after that. We just look at each other until I feel my eyes droop and sleep comes for me.

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I awake the next morning still in his arms. It feels so amazing, and I close my eyes and savor the feeling. But then, the events of last night hit me like a speeding train.

I told him.

I start to sit up and I hear him shift. I see his eyes open and he gives me a sleepy, lazy grin. His hair is messy and unkempt, and his eyes are drooping slightly. God, he looks adorable. "Hey," he says, his voice low.

"Hi," I say, barely audibly, tearing my gaze away from him. I'm still disgusted with myself because he knows. He knows that I'm in love with him. I have to do something about this. I have to stop loving him like this. It's wrong.

I stiffly get out of bed, and I glance to see Mathy now sitting up on the edge of the bed, the sunlight filtering through the curtains showing his muscled body, making my yearn to touch him again, but I hold myself back. I don't want to have any of these feelings anymore.

"Saffy, come on. I can tell something's wrong." He gets up out of bed and envelopes me in his long arms.

I close my eyes and stay there for a while, and then I come to my senses and jerk away. "Stop it!" I say, a little too harshly. "I'm trying not to feel any of these feelings for you anymore, but you're making it hard."

His arms drop, and he looks as if he's been slapped. The look on his face only intensified the hurt inside me. "I'm sorry..." He ducks his head at me and then slowly walks out of the room.

I slam the door closed and press my back against it, slinking down onto the floor. I crumble into a messy, sobbing heap. My crying isn't soft and quiet like the night before. My hysterical sobs jerk and rack my whole body. I let out all my pain and hurt.

I cry and cry for what feels like ages. Soon I'm lying on the floor of my room, staring at nothing, dry tears on my cheek. I don't have the energy to cry anymore.

I hear a knock on my door. "Saffy... Please stop crying..." His tone makes me want to burst into tears all over again.

The door opens. "Saffy? Baby girl???" Suddenly I'm lifted off the ground, being cradled by him. I don't say anything to him, but I look deeply into his eyes, letting them do all the talking, letting him see the pain in them and know that he never caused me any of this pain. It's all my fault for being stupid enough to fall for my own brother.

He kisses my cheek softly. "Come on, baby, we'll talk in my room okay?"

"What's there to talk about?" God, my voice sounds terrible after all that sobbing.

"Anything and everything." He tightens his arms around me and takes me out the door, walking to the end of the hall, towards his room.

"Be more specific than that," I say, smiling a little.

We come into his room and he sits on the edge of his bed with me on his lap. "We can talk about noodles, or ice cream, or Harry Potter. Anything at all." He grins at me cheekily.

"Mathy," I say seriously, looking up at him.

"Sorry," he mumbles, his grin slightly fading. "What will it take to cheer you up?"

You feeling the same way I do and being mine forever. I just shrug at him.

Then his grin comes back and he starts tickling me again. I try squirming out of his arms. "Stop that..." I say, giggling.

He tickles on my collarbone, my weak spot, and I yelp. "Stop!" I'm giggling loudly now, and he's laughing.