More than I Deserve

I nodded. And turned to look at Joey jumping up and down in the pool with what I suddenly realized could be his sisters, or at least his half sisters.

"Mona, I meant what I said about you being my new best friend," she said.

"I felt it too," I told her. Just then we heard the sound of her Robby, who used to be my Bobby trying to start the hulk of an old Mustang that he was rebuilding. It sounded anemic compared to the monster he'd driven in.

"He still loves to fix things, Huh?" I asked. She smiled and nodded. Just then I saw Joey get out of the pool and walk Zombie-like towards the garage. I smiled because earlier I had used the expression about apples not falling far from the tree to describe the fact that her girls were just as beautiful as she was, but also just as kind and compassionate and down to earth. I realized as I watched my son being drawn to the sound of that mechanical contraption trying so hard to breathe in that garage that he too had failed to escape the branches of the tree that had given him birth.

"Mona, do you still trust me?" she asked. I nodded and truthfully, I meant it. "Can he stay a little while longer? I promise you two things. I'll bring him home right after dinner. And I'll protect him like he was one of mah own."

On the drive back, I was suddenly glad that I had let Joey stay with Sam and Bobby. I was so emotional that I could barely drive. I almost hit several things and several people during the trip.

I was angry. And I was jealous. I felt cheated. But more than anything I was confused.

I was angry at the world. I was angry at Bobby. I was also angry at Sam. And I was even a little bit pissed at Joey. When I told him that I was going home and Sam would bring him home later he didn't bat an eyelash. "Okay, bye," was all he said.

I was angry at Bobby because I had expected better of him. I had expected him to at least man up and say that he was wrong and ask me to forgive him. Okay, he ran off and left me for a much prettier woman. Maybe it wasn't even a case where she was prettier, maybe it was just that she was there and I was so many hundreds of miles away. Maybe he, like me was just being human and lonely. Maybe if he'd just had the balls to be a man and explain it to me, I wouldn't hate him so fucking much.

And Sam, despite all of her swearing that she wasn't whore had acted like one. She had stolen not only my husband, but my life. That beautiful house should have been mine. Her easy and wonderful life should have been mine. Those perfect little girls should have been mine.

And the worst thing of all was the realization that after I lost Bobby, I really didn't give a fuck about much. I hadn't been living, I had just been existing. I never bothered to fix myself up because there was simply no reason for me to do it. The people I served at McDonald's didn't care what I looked like. And Sam only wanted to fuck me. It had been years since we'd even done that.

I went straight into my room and cried myself almost to sleep. I was interrupted by Sam.

"I told you it wouldn't work," he said. "Now you're back here, crying your eyes out."

"Why did he try to lay the blame on me, Sam?" I asked.

"Because even though you think the bastard walks on water, he's just another guy," he spat. "He threw your ass over for that hot redhead, like any other guy would have done. And when you confronted him, he did what any other guy would have done. Lie and deny, baby girl, it's in our genes. It's just what we do. Instead of taking the blame himself, he reverses that shit and throws it on you.

As a matter of fact you tried to do the same thing. Remember when he tried to divorce you? You were actually hoping that he had met someone so you wouldn't have to feel guilty if he ever found out about you fucking me. Everyone wants a way to get even, honey."

I was almost ready to believe him until he threw in his last bit. "Now maybe you can give me some slack about the things I do, Mona. None of us is perfect."

Sam lived up to her word. She brought Joey home right after dinner. He was still all excited and only wanted to know when he could go back. I had no idea what to tell him. He also wanted me to buy him books about cars and machines. I knew it was starting again. He was becoming the reincarnation of his father. Soon he would be fixing things and some little girl would start to follow him all over everywhere.

A couple of days later Sam called and asked me to come over the following Sunday. Joey and the girls could play and Holly would be there to watch the kids while we talked. She even wanted me to bring Sam along. Of course he refused.

She showed up an hour later and opened the door to his room. I tried to tell her that he was asleep, but she didn't seem to care. She just went in as I watched she pulled out that knife of hers. She tapped him on his head until he woke up. As he realized that she was sitting next to him he jumped up in surprise.

"Mona said you won't come over on Sunday," she said. "Is that true?"

"Yes, you crazy bitch," he screamed. She moved closer to him and ran her knife along his sleeve and up onto his face.

"Ah'd like it if you was there," she said. She trailed the knife up the side of his face. She acted as if she was going to shave him with it and then grabbed a lock of his hair and snipped it off, smiling at him like an AlleyKat with a trapped rat.

"Okay, I'll be there," he said. I really believe that Sam was afraid of her.

On Saturday I spent money I couldn't afford and got my hair done. I borrowed some makeup from some of the girls at the restaurant and tried to make myself pretty. I didn't dare to wear jeans. Since next to Sam I'd come off looking like an elephant. But I did wear a long tight skirt that emphasized my wide hips and rounded ass.

Sam was all legs and tits her heart shaped ass got lost in the shuffle. By working on her weaknesses, I could at least try to fight for my man.

"Holy fuck!" said Sam as we pulled up in Sam and Bobby's driveway. "They live here? Shit, no wonder you wanted to marry the guy."

"I wanted to marry the guy before he had all of this," I said.

We rang the bell and Holly let us in. She hugged Joey and told him the girls were in the back and Robby was in the garage. Holly was wearing a swimsuit with a cover up over it and I noticed Sam gawking at her exposed legs. For a chunky girl she did have decent legs.

Sam noticed me watching him and shrugged his shoulders. "What did you expect?" he asked.

"I pretty much expect to see you in jail," I said. "That girl is only seventeen years old, you pervert."

As we made it out to the pool area, Joey saw Sam and ran over to her. "Auntie Sam," he said. He hugged her and it bothered me. In two weeks, Sam and her daughters had turned my son from a shy, reclusive child to a normal healthy little boy who was brimming with confidence and poise. He waved to the girls and went over to speak to them. He told them that he'd be back in a little while but he needed to see the car first.

The relationship between my Joey and Bobby or Robby as he called himself now was important to me. I liked the fact that the two of them were getting along.

Sam went to the garage along with Joey. "You'd better be careful, Mona," said my asshole Sam as we watched my son walking along with the beautiful redhead. She was even more beautiful in her swimsuit. Sam had cursed several times when he saw her.

"Look at the way they bounce," he slurred. "I swear if she bends forward they'll come out of her top. And Jeezus, I thought you said she didn't have much ass. It's perfect if you ask me. Are you sure she has three kids."

"And she may be pregnant again now," I told him. "That would make four kids and you're still jacking off in your pants watching her walk by."

"Maybe five," he said. "That's what I was warning you about. She has your kid wrapped around her little finger and he's too young to even know what a pussy is."

Then it came back to me, Sam was always saying that she would protect Joey like he was her own child. I suddenly got sick to my stomach thinking about it. With their money, and the fact that Bobby, I mean Robby was his biological father and had rights nearly equal to mine, they might be able to get custody. Maybe Sam wanted my son as well as my husband.

I went into the garage after them with Asshole, Sam on my heels.

"Sheeeeeiiiiiiiiitttttttt!" he exclaimed suddenly. I thought he was going to spray semen all over the flower beds. I was sure that one of Sam's boobs had broken free.

Then I saw what he was looking at. "It's an "R," he gushed. "Mona it's a fucking R."

"I know that stupid," I said. "He calls himself Robby now. It's spelled with an R."

"The car Mona," he said in a voice that was akin to worship. "It's a Shelby GT 350 R. They're only making 500 of those worldwide. They sold all of them before they were even announced."

"Robby, Mona is here," said Sam softly. He was cranking some bolts with a ratchet wrench and barely looked up.

"Robert James Thompson!" said Sam. He looked up quickly and dropped his wrench on the padded fender rest he had on the car.

"Hello Mona," he said extending a greasy hand to me. Then he noticed Sam the asshole standing next to me. It seemed like it was in slow motion but it was actually far too fast for me to even react to it.

He saw Sam the asshole and the fingers he had extended to en curled inside of his palm, forming a fist. He drew the fist backwards and drove it straight into Sam the asshole's jaw knocking him completely off of his feet.

I was shocked. I had never seen Bobby hit anyone. Sam the asshole was on the ground too dazed to get up. And while he wasn't unconscious, he wasn't actually knocked out; he was too disoriented to even think about fighting it even trying to defend himself.

"Wow," said my son Joey, looking down at Sam the asshole.

"Joey, Honey, go get in the pool," said Sam.

"Yes auntie Sam," said Joey smiling over his shoulder as he walked away. I was floored.

"They're all crazy," said Sam getting to his feet.

Sam and I helped Sam to his feet as Bobby walked inside of the house.

Ten minutes later the four of us were all sitting around their beautiful kitchen table.

"Okay, who wants to start?" asked Sam. I noticed that she was holding Bobby's hand.

"Nope, none of that," I said.

"None of what?" she asked.

"Let go of him," I said. "He acts completely different around you. I want him to talk to me on his own. I want him to defend his actions without you. He's a grown man who runs around spreading babies all over the place. Let's hear what he has to say."

"Hey, why don't I go first then," said Sam the asshole. "I want to know why you two keep hit ..."

"You don't get a turn," said the female Sam. "This is between the two of them. I get a turn because I have important information that neither of them knows. You're only here for two reasons. The first is because I figured my husband would hit you as soon as he saw you. I also figured that you'd have no idea why. The second is because there's something that you REALLY need to know."

"I am involved here," he whined. "No matter how this works, I can't lose. If the two of them get back together, I end up with you. If they don't get back together I still have Mona and that's where I am now. It's a win/win situation for me."

"You don't want me," she told him. "I'd cut your fucking throat before you drew your first breath. I don't want you to have any doubts. I hate your God damned guts. I have no idea why Mona puts up with you ... Okay I think I know, but it really isn't a big enough reason."

Sam the asshole blanched at her words. I think he became even more afraid of her then. "And you are absolutely wrong about the situation. There is no chance that those two are getting back together. Robby and I love each other. We have since the first moment we saw each other. Anything that went on before we met ceased to exist the very second that our eyes locked. I'm sorry Mona. I know you think it's wrong but you don't have all of the facts yet." Since she seemed to be done talking, I started my pitch.

"I've already told you that I think of you like the sister I never had but ways wanted. I won't lie to you. I've hoped for years that Bo ... Robby and I would meet and get back together. It's always been my fondest wish. But from the second I saw the two of you together, I knew that was not an option. I also don't understand why he should be angry at me. We were supposed to be spending the rest of our lives together. And he just disappeared. Do you know that I still wear the bracelet you gave me that Christmas? I guess the only thing I really expected was for ... Robby to apologize to me for his actions. Maybe I'd like him to spend some time with his son and since I'm busting my ass for pennies while you two seem to be rolling in the dough, some child support might be nice. I'd also like it if we could find a way to stay friends. I know I'm asking a lot, but it's just me thinking off of the top of my head about what's fair."

As I looked at him, knowing him the way I do, I knew something was wrong. Robby was seething with anger and Sam; she looked at me with something akin to pity on her face.

This was all wrong. Their reactions were completely ass backwards. Sam the woman who stole my husband right out from under me was the villain here. She should have been angry at me and ready to fight me for Robby. But she sat there, clearly hurting, not for herself but for me.

And Robby, he had sworn to love me til death do us part. He was supposed to love me. We were supposed to be together, dammit. Okay he's knocked her up three or four times. Well he'd rung my bell too. Why the fuck was he sitting there seething. It was clear that he hated me with an intensity that made even His wife's loathing of Sam the asshole seem pale in comparison.

Then he did as I had asked. He let go of her hand and I realized that I had made a mistake. As soon as they broke contact, his anger flared. If I'd thought I knew the depths of his anger before, I suddenly realized that he hadn't been drawing strength from Sam; she'd been calming him down.

"Bitch," he spat. Sam quickly grabbed his hand back. He gulped so loudly we could hear it. She stroked his hand and he gulped again as if he'd just tried to swallow a bowling ball.

"I love you Robby," she told him softly. "No matter what happens here, there is always that." He nodded and even Sam the asshole unclenched a little bit.

Robby sat back down then. He looked at me across the table and began speaking. I prayed to God that Sam continued to hold his hand. I'd been sure that the man I still loved had wanted to rip my head off and shit down the hole.

"Mona," he said. His voice cracked as if it was hard for him to even say my name. "You did get one thing right. We were in love. At least I was. I had so many plans for us. I expected to spend the rest of my life with you. I heard you talking earlier with that ..." He pointed to Sam the asshole.

"Everything I did was for us" he began again. "Every sacrifice was worth it. I worked lots of extra shifts in Alaska, so I could buy you that bracelet you mentioned. I guess I was supposed to use the extra money for more food or snacks or something. But all I ever thought about was you. I missed you so much Mona. You were the most important thing in my life."

I couldn't take seeing the pain in his eyes for another second. And hearing about it ... Just hearing how much he loved me hurt, so I lashed out.

"Yeah until you met HER," I sneered. "I get it. She's younger, prettier, built better, and she makes you feel all squiggly. This is a really shitty apology."

"This isn't a fucking apology," he spat. "I was simply stating facts. If you're expecting me to apologize, you can blow it out of your ass. I have NOTHING to apologize for. I was trying to be nice to you." Sam squeezed his hand and he calmed down.

"Anyway," he continued. "Imagine loving someone that much. Then imagine that because of a freak storm that no one foresaw, you have the chance to go home and be with that person earlier than you expected ..."

Alarm bells suddenly went off in my head and the nagging suspicion that something was wrong flared up all over again.

"I did have an idea, though," he said. "I came up with a way to save the company a lot of money both in our temporary bases and even the semi-permanent ones. They were so happy with the process I developed for saving the pipes that they changed our support agreement and gave me pretty much anything I wanted. I know now that they screwed me. My idea saved them millions and they got me my first Mustang, a used one, got me a little house close to school and paid for my education. It wasn't exactly an equitable deal but I was young, dumb and dying to get back to my Mona.

I thought I was a fucking genius. I was sure that I had the world by the balls. I had bought you a necklace to match the bracelet you were talking about. Yep, I had the world by the balls until I snuck into our crappy little apartment on New Year's Eve and saw you licking that asshole's balls. I just stood there frozen on the spot, while the two of you fucked like two animals. I stayed there long enough that the image was frozen into my brain. And even when I look at you now it's all I see.

You talked about how I was supposed to love you til death do us part and all of that shit. Apparently it didn't refer to you doing the same. Our wedding vows apparently were one sided. I don't remember agreeing to love you forever while you fucked scumbags in our bed. That's why I hit him. He ruined my fucking life.

You talked about me owing you an apology. You claim I ran out on you. Well Mona, you ran out on me first. You didn't even have the class to tell me about it. At least once I got my strength back from what YOU did to US, I asked you for a divorce. Sure, I didn't tell you why, because I could barely stomach talking to you. I couldn't even face you to tell you in person. I thought I was the world's biggest loser. I was out there risking life and limb, just for the chance that the two of us might have a better future. Meanwhile you were back here at home and safe. The only thing you risked was picking up an STD.

Besides, I was sure it was some huge joke to you. I could see the two of you laughing at me while you just fucked each other silly. So Mona, if anyone here deserves an apology, it's ME!"

Tears ran down my cheeks and every word he said, every acidic syllable burned me to the quick.

"As far as I'm concerned, this is the last time we will EVER speak Mona, so let me clarify a few more things for you. I didn't meet Sam until AFTER our divorce. You know her views on WHORES Mona, so even you should be able to figure out that she wouldn't have done anything with me unless you and I were done and I told her the whole story within an hour of meeting her.

Secondly, yeah Mona, my Sam is beautiful. She doesn't see it though. She used to tell me that there were hillbilly girls all over West Virginia who were ten times as pretty as she was. Anyway, Mona, I think that you know me well enough to know that I would never have dumped you for anyone, no matter how pretty. I met Sam when I was at the lowest point in my life emotionally. And I am forever grateful that she took pity on me.

The last thing I need to clear up is that I really like your son, Mona. Despite his mother being an untrustworthy sl ..." Sam squeezed his hand again and he stopped.

"He's a really good, really nice, really smart little boy, Mona. But he isn't my son. "I left you at the beginning of September, Mona. His birthday is in August. That means that he was conceived in late October or early November, and I was hundreds if not thousands of miles away from you then. I know you're bad at math, but surely you can count to nine."