Mr. & Mrs. America, Aftermath

He went back home, seeing his family, and when he came back, he gave us all a slip of paper. We all got a little pale. Two hundred to two hundred and twenty thousand US dollars, estimated value. Maybe a lot more if we held them any length of time.

I did the math a little later. If we were given an eight, that meant there had been roughly ten million dollars plus worth of stones Said had been carrying around.

We talked about what we wanted to do with the gems. I'd gotten twenty pretty decent emeralds, fifteen rubies, eight large star sapphires, and five good sized diamonds. I had already decided to have necklaces made for the girls, and a ring for Josh. I didn't decide until the last minute on Jo, but in the end I just wasn't cruel enough to leave her out.

So we made a quick side trip to Israel while we were on one of our missions. I traded the largest emerald and a smaller ruby for what I wanted, probably too much, judging from the disgusted look Moshe gave me when he found out. I thought the finished product was worth it, anyway.

The necklaces were works of art in twenty four carat gold. The emeralds were surrounded by a band of gold with inscriptions. The inscriptions were in Aramaic. I handed the two smaller ones to the girls. "It means 'beloved daughters'," I said, enjoying the stunned looks on their faces. Both came to me insisting I put them on their necks, and sat stroking them for the rest of the night.

Josh got a ring, inset with the smallest but best quality star sapphire in my share. It still looked large on his finger. "It means 'mighty son'," I explained. There was something suspiciously like moisture in his eyes as he and the girls admired it.

Jo was getting antsy, wondering if she rated a present. I was shallow enough to stretch it out for a bit before I reached into the bag for the last time. Very nice earrings, from splitting one of the rubies, her birthstone. Beautiful in their own right, the jeweler who created them told me I should insure them for twelve thousand, and seven each for the girls' necklaces. The ring was the least valuable, coming in just under five thousand.

She was moved, without a doubt, crying, her hands shaking so bad the girls had to put them on her. They were all speechless when I pulled out the last item. A heavy gold necklace, with a heart shaped ruby for a centerpiece. I admit I got a little revenge in the inscription. The front side said 'dream wife', and the back said 'dream thief'. I may or may not explain the inscription somewhere down the road. Insurance value, fifteen thousand. If you were adding it up, little of my stash was gone, and I still had the diamonds.

Josh just grinned, but the women were speechless, retiring to the restroom for some makeup repair. It was the chance Josh was waiting for.

"Are you going to forgive them?"

"Them who?"

"Please Dad, you know who. Mom. Grandpa. Grandma. It's been pretty dreary since you've come here. Are you really thinking about relocating? Is Mom going to come here, or are you going separate ways? You keep forgetting, we're all grown up now, and we smell a rat. Grandpa refuses to talk about you, and Grandma just cries and says that he, Uncle Mike, and Mom did something pretty awful a long time ago, and you just found out. That's all anyone will say, and Mom just tells us they did something that angered you, but you'd get over it eventually and see they were right all along."

Poof! There it went, any good feeling I was having just flew out the window. Josh actually flinched at my expression. Forcing myself to calm, I smiled at him.

"I respect your mother's opinion, but this runs pretty deep, and I'm not sure, not at all, that I can get over it. You may end up with a quasi-Brit for a father, and an American executive for a mother. Is it what everyone wants, probably not, including me. But as you keep telling me, you're adults now, so whatever happens I expect you to deal with it as such."

"Okay, Dad. I'll leave it alone. But you know my sisters won't, so if you have to shut them down, do it gently. Jess doesn't say much because she's always been the quiet one, but she doesn't smile like she used to, and Polly, well Polly is Polly, and she won't go quietly."

For the first time in the conversation I smiled. Josh must get his pragmatism from his mother.

"Either way this turns out, I'll be gentle, and respectful to their emotions."

He leaned back, grunted, and started looking at the dessert menu. The ladies returned, makeup repaired and hair fluffed, with odd expressions on their faces.

"We met a lady in the restroom who just loved our new bling, Daddy," gushed Jessica, "and she said they were custom made and really expensive. She even showed us the Maker's mark, saying he was one of the best at his craft. Were they really made in Israel? How much are they worth, honestly?" I just smiled.

"They were worth the smiles I saw when you got them, and that's far more precious than money. If you're uncomfortable with my little gifts, hand them back to me. I might have a couple of daughters in an alternative time line that may be willing to take them in the spirit they were given."

Hands went to necks, instinctively protecting the necklaces. It would take a lot more than asking to ever make them part with their gifts. Jess stuck her tongue out.

"All right, meanie, er, Daddy, don't tell us then. See if we care! And don't ever think we're going to part with them, except when we let your granddaughters wear them at their weddings."

The mental image hit me hard. A lump came into my throat, wondering if I'd be around to see that happen.

"Well, I ain't giving this ring back, ever. I got a feeling I'll get a lot of mileage out of this thing with the babes, especially when I tell them my globe trotting Dad acquired it under mysterious circumstances."

I smiled and Jo flinched. He really didn't know how close to the truth he was.

...

They drifted out after dessert, giggling and teasing each other. God, they were such good kids!

Jo and I sat, sipping coffee and a cognac. When her snifter was empty she sat it down.

"Can we go back to your flat?"

"Why?"

"Because I'm your wife, a woman who loves you more deeply than you would believe, and who hasn't been physically close to you in months. I want to hold you, kiss you, make love to you. Is that so hard?"

"Short answer? Yes it is. But you're right, we need to talk. I've learned some things about you that I'm betting you would really wished had stayed buried, and I tell you this. One evasion, one out right lie, and we've HAD a good relationship. If you're willing to promise this to me, then yes, let's go back to my flat."

She nodded her head, too confused to talk, so I walked outside, and hailed a cab. She said little on the ride, but I bantered with the cabbie over his Arsenal decal, bemoaning how far my team, Mann U, had fallen.

She walked in, and spent several minutes browsing around, looking at the space I'd called home. I had the feeling she was looking for signs of a woman. She touched a few trinkets I'd brought back from my journeys. Stopping, she picked up a picture one of our guides had taken on our first trip, us all together, wearing robes and covered with dirt from crawling about in caves for seven hours. We were all smiling, excited with our adventure.

"You all look so happy," she finally said. I gently took the photo and placed it back on the shelf.

"We were. That was our first trip, and we were safe, so it was just one big adventure for us. These two," I pointed to Emil and Anatoli, "died, last trip out, sacrificing themselves so the rest of us had a chance of living. By then, the big adventure was over. All that was left was life and death, trying to salvage something that may not have any real value in the end. I treasure the time because it taught me a lot about myself. Want to know what the biggest lesson was?"

She nodded, totally captivated.

"I learned I could have been good at the career you denied me. I lied, saving the lives of me and my friends by my wits alone. I looked people in the eye and killed them, knowing if I didn't we would all die. I didn't feel regret, or elation, I really didn't feel at all. I just did what was needed and moved on. I became just like Mike, and you, and my paternal unit. I lied to achieve my ends, manipulating people with no regard. The big difference was I didn't have a long term agenda, and what I did was for actual survival."

Jo had gone progressively paler. I got a fresh bottle of brandy, pouring her a generous measure. She took it gratefully, sipping slowly.

"I don't know you at all anymore, Pete. You're not the man I married."

"Well then, the playing field is finally level, because I have no idea who you are. You're certainly not the woman I fell in love with all those years ago. That woman died the day she lied about being pregnant with my child and then losing it. The woman who replaced her is a total stranger to me. And you're wrong. I'm exactly the man you married all those years ago. You're just seeing parts of me that had been buried, parts that had no reason to come out until recently."

I changed directions on her. "Do you really want to stay married? Why? You have to realize by now It may be years before I take anything you say, any suggestion you give, at face value. I'll always be looking for the hidden agenda, the manipulation, the hints of control. I don't really think you'd like living with me right now."

Tears were streaming down her cheeks unchecked while she flinched at my words.

"You've freed me Jo. I will no longer try to go along with your agenda just to keep you happy. The kids are grown, so if we never reconcile they'll be sad, but they'd get used to it pretty quickly. And it would be in your best interests to keep me as far away from your job as possible. If the chance ever comes along, I intend to give your almost lover Jeffers a pretty strong talking to about the perils of interfering with a marriage, even if the fallout is loss of your precious career. I don't care if it's at a company function, in your offices, or on the street. I think I could make my point pretty effectively. Speaking of that, why didn't you go all the way with your little fling? It couldn't have been fear of me finding out, after all, you had control, right? I bet you thought even if you got caught, you could spin it to the point I'd understand and forgive you. So why? It would have been the cherry on the shit sundae you had been feeding me since we got together."

I thought she was going to pass out. Taking the brandy away, I brought her a glass of water, which she sipped slowly.

"I don't know what to say," she said, finally.

"How about the absolute truth, for the first time in our lives together? I think I deserve it, don't you?"

She sighed, a tear trickling down her cheek.

"I may as well. I've lost you, so it doesn't really matter any more. My worst fear was that someday you'd find out what we did to you. We did it for you! Don't you understand? We did it for you!"

"Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit. You didn't do it for me, you did it to mold me into the man you wanted, staid, steady, dependable. If I followed the path I'd chosen, you wouldn't be in charge anymore. The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that your two partners were afraid I'd be good at it. So you plotted, conspired, and you all got what you wanted, the hell with what I wanted."

After she got over her sobbing jag, she finally started opening up. "You don't know how right you are. There's something inside of you, something I detected pretty early, that told me under the right set of circumstances you would be a very dangerous man. I was afraid of that, plain and simple. Oh, I knew you'd never hurt me or our children, but if that beast ever got unleashed, I was afraid it would change you. And it did. Look at you now. When we were in the restaurant tonight, your eyes were constantly moving, cataloging, analyzing. I've never seen you do that before. I think a lot of your trust in humanity is gone, and it makes you a colder person. The old you would have been concerned about my feelings. The new you probably wouldn't hesitate to destroy me to find out the truth."

She stopped for breath, her eyes begging me to dispute her words. I just looked at her steadily, waiting.

"I don't really know what was going through my mind when I started 'seeing' Alan. He was smooth, but I had run into smooth before. We were in a rut, I was working horrific hours while you had a fairly set schedule, with no one breathing down your neck for results. We never went anywhere or did anything without the kids. I know, before you say it, that a lot of it was my fault. I know you tried to get me out more, weekends without the kids, nice flowers to work. But you were my husband. I'd come to expect things like that from you, and that negated any thrill I may have gotten."

"We actually were working long hours, at first, but as the workload lessened we started having a drink after work. The drinks turned into dinners, dancing, social and business affairs we attended as a couple. Like I said, I wasn't the first frustrated wife he'd gone after. He built me up while undermining you at every opportunity. And soon, I was agreeing with him. We hadn't had sex yet, but we both knew it was coming, soon. Then I got a wake up call."

She had her eyes shut, so she wouldn't have to look me in the eye.

"We'd gone to some sort of diplomatic event. Alan wanted to meet some people, a group we were considering as a possible takeover target. I kept a wardrobe at the office, a few casual and formal outfits, things you'd never seen. I had on an evening gown he'd gotten for me, something I would never had picked because it was a bit revealing. We'd just finished a dance, that ended with a lingering kiss. He went to freshen our drinks while I sought out the restrooms. You can't imagine my shock when your mother stepped in front of me."

"This stops now!," she said, fury in her voice. "If you're not in a cab before your 'date' comes back, I'm sending Jake this picture. Your clock is ticking." Holding up her phone, she showed me the picture she had snapped of me, in that dress, kissing Alan, his hands all over my bottom. I ran out of that hall like my hair was on fire. I went back to the office, grabbed my secret clothes, and dropped them all in a charity bin. Alan must have called me twenty times in the next hour. I deleted every one, blocking my number."

"He was furious the next day, until I told him we'd been caught, by your mother. He was panicky at first, but by the afternoon he had recovered, saying we would have to be just a bit more discrete."

"I told him in no uncertain terms that the lunches, the dinners, the dates, were over. I realized I had too much to lose, and to put it bluntly he just wasn't worth my marriage. He took it badly, until I threatened to make enough noise to get us both fired."

She wouldn't look me in they eye. "So, if you hadn't got caught, you would have fucked him? Fucked the hell out of him, reveling in your dirty little secret and the absolute faith I had in you."

I looked at her but she didn't answer, telling me all I needed to know.

"You know, back when all this was going on, and you were 'working' all those hours, I can see why you were bored with me. I was boring because for all practical purposes I was a single parent, juggling my job against the needs of the kids, while you chased your dream. There were days that you didn't even speak to your children, and barely spoke to me, because you got home after they were in bed, after I'd long since abandoned waiting up for just a chance to talk to you. I wonder, as you looked in on them when you'd finally get home from your dates, did you ever fell a twinge of shame, or remorse? Probably not. You knew you had me to depend on, to make sure they got what they needed."

She was stuttering now, trying to get so much out so fast none of it was coherent. I just let her ramble until she stopped and glared at me.

"you've become a cruel man, Jake. I didn't think you capable of it. Could you at least tell me how you know so much?"

"Sometimes the truth is cruel, Jo. Regardless of who tells it. As I said before, I met some interesting people in my travels, including one man resurrected from the dead. Under the circumstances, he was more than willing to tell me all I wanted to know. I won't tell you his name, ask my paternal unit, maybe he'll tell you. The fact is I know what I know, and there's no way to spin it. I was always a junior partner in our relationship, even if I didn't know it. We were never equals in your eyes. Never. I was just the poor deluded fool who loved you, to be manipulated at your whim."

I slumped down, talked out. What was left to say? Picking up the brandy bottle, I freshened my glass. Maybe ten minutes went by before she spoke.

"Are we over?"

I looked at the woman I had loved for over two decades, and felt my heart break all over again.

"To answer your question, I think it's fair to say we never started. Yes. Jo, we're over. I don't know you at all, and I can't see being married to a stranger."

I raised my hand as she started to protest. "Admit it, because it's true. You never entered this marriage treating me as an equal. The vows you spoke had secret qualifiers in them. Unto death do us part, as long as you could control me, maybe. Fidelity, honesty, not so much. I'm done, Jo. You're still fairly young and definitely attractive, with a good career. If you decide to marry again, you probably won't have any trouble finding willing suitors. Please, promise you'll treat them with more respect than you did me."

I thought by now she would be cried out, but it appeared I was mistaken. I watched her weep with sadness and a little detachment. Maybe I was already moving on.

"I won't go for the annulment, that would mean bringing the truth out. I'll go for a simple divorce instead, not say anything, and the kids will never have to know what you've done. It will be as fair as I can make it. A straight split right down the middle. Please don't make it difficult on our families or the children."

For the first time, I saw a little of the old Jo come out.

"There will be no divorce. I simply won't allow it. Yes, it will be hard, and yes, it will take some time, but eventually we'll heal, and be stronger than ever. I understand your anger, honey. I would have been upset too. And I'll always regret you finding out about our plan to help you in the right direction. Admit it Jake, it was for the best. You got a loving wife, a great career, and three kids that are happy, well adjusted, who love their father. What more could you want?"

I let the silence linger. "One out of three, maybe. The kids are great. My great career, as you put it, was forced on me, a fall back plan when you became 'pregnant'. And I admit, it was a good career, and I got a lot of satisfaction from it. BUT IT WAS NEVER MY FIRST CHOICE! And a loving wife? You can really say that after all you've done to me? I tell you what, let's do a little research. Let's tell everyone in our social circle, the lawyers, the professors, the corporate people you deal with the whole, unvarnished truth about our marriage and how it came to be, get their opinion if it was a loving act or not. I'm game if you are."

I knew she'd never agree, there was too much to lose, personally and professionally. No one she knew would ever trust her again, plus the shame would kill her, that is, if she felt shame.

She finally responded. "I'm not comfortable with everyone knowing our private business. I think..."

She stopped when she saw the smirk on my face. It must have stung, being beaten by her less intelligent husband.