My Heart is Open

I thought I was doing all right being alone

I swore I'd never let somebody get close again

I was never gonna let my guard down, not for anyone

But there's a light in your eyes and it's got me moving in

And tonight these walls are all coming down

And my heart is open

I'm letting you in

Cause you give me a reason and the faith I've been needing to start again

And your love is healing

I'm finally breathing

I've been waiting so long, hoping for this moment

My heart is open

****

On a rare day off, I headed to my favorite place in town. The local Barnes & Noble was an escape for me. I could waste hours wandering around, looking at what felt like every single book. I took a deep breath when I entered the store and headed for the discount books first.

My routine was always the same; discount racks, then new releases and store recommendations, and then up and down the fiction aisles. After that, I hit the mystery, science fiction, and fantasy sections, always ending in the romance stacks. I figured most of the store would be empty, since it was the middle of the morning, not quite peak book-shopping time. So I was a little surprised when I turned down the second romance aisle and came upon someone reading the back of a novel. Not just any someone. A broad-shouldered, dark-haired man in black dress pants and a lime green button-up shirt.

I stopped, startled at the sight of someone, especially a man, standing in the romance section at eleven a.m. on Tuesday morning. He didn't appear to have heard me approach and I decided to continue with my perusal of the racks without disturbing him. I eyed the jaunty tilt of the hero's cowboy hat on the cover of one novel and started when the man a few feet away spoke.

"Who reads this shit?" he muttered.

I couldn't help it. I shifted closer and peered around his shoulder to see what 'shit' he'd picked off the shelf. It was the latest novel by my favorite author. I couldn't let his comment pass now.

"That shit just happens to be the latest novel by Dorie Saunders."

He jumped and whirled around, bumping the shelf beside him with his elbow. "Christ on a cracker, lady!" He glowered at me. "Do you go around sneaking up on people everywhere?"

I couldn't help but laugh. "Not usually."

He glared at me for a moment longer before his face relaxed into a smile. "You scared the hell out of me."

I grinned. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to scare you. I was browsing and heard what you said."

His face colored and he glanced down at the book in his hand. "Oh. You, uh, you heard that?"

I nodded and gestured at the book. "Dorie Saunders is one of my favorite authors. I've read everything of hers." I reached for the book and he relinquished it to me. I turned it over in my hand to peruse the blurb on the back. "I was hoping her latest would be released when I came here today."

"You read these kinds of novels?"

I looked up to see him watching me. His eyes were dark brown and tilted up just slightly at the corners. He smiled when his gaze met mine and I noticed how full his lips were. The lower half of his face was either unshaven or whiskery on purpose. I surprised myself by wondering how it would feel rubbing against my face or neck.

I cleared my throat and looked down at the cover of Dorie Saunders' latest. "Yeah. I read these kinds of novels." I shrugged. "I read everything. Mystery, romance, history. Whatever looks interesting, I'll give it a try."

"Me too. Well, except romance."

I lifted my eyebrows. "How'd you end up in here then?"

He chuckled and shrugged. Lifting one hand, he braced it on the nearest shelf and leaned a little closer to me. "I was just looking around. I didn't feel like going home yet."

"That still doesn't explain how you ended up in the romance section."

He nodded. "You're right. How about I take you for lunch and explain?"

The invitation caught me off-guard and I didn't know what to say. He cocked his head to one side and reached a hand towards me.

A strange man I'd just met was reaching for me, you'd think I'd be frightened or at least draw back. I wasn't. I stood there, sucking in a breath as his hand lifted a lock of hair from my shoulder. He rubbed it once between his thumb and forefinger and then brushed it over my shoulder. He stood so close that I could smell his cologne, something fine and subtle that caused an unexpected reaction inside me.

"Yes." I felt heat creep into my cheeks when my voice came out as a squeak. I licked my lips, aware of his eyes following the motion. "Yes. I'd love to have lunch with you."

"Great." He took the book from my hands and put his other hand on my lower back to guide me out of the aisle. "Just let me pay for this and you can think about where you'd like me to take you."

"You're buying that?"

"Sure. You said she was your favorite."

I laughed. "You called it shit."

"I spoke without thinking." He nudged me with one arm as we walked towards the cashiers. "And I didn't know you were listening."

I laughed again and waited at the end of the cashier counter while he went to pay. I took my time watching him, checking him out like I hadn't before. He was taller than me, though I'm not even average height for a woman, at a mere five feet tall. He was maybe five-nine, five-ten. He looked very nice in that green shirt and it set off the darker tone of his skin in a most attractive manner.

In another minute, he was walking towards me, tucking the receipt for the book just inside the cover. He grinned and paused in front of me.

"Did you decide where we're going?"

I blinked, having forgotten that it was my choice. "I'm sorry. I didn't even think about it."

He wiggled his eyebrows at me. "Something distracted you?"

I laughed and tilted my head to one side. "Am I that transparent?"

We started to walk out of the store and I couldn't help but feel the warmth rising from his body. He walked so close to me, our arms brushed every step. I liked it.

"Where are you parked?" he asked.

I pointed. "There. You?"

He gestured and we faced each other in silence for a moment. "Well, you have to pick a destination or we might never see each other again."

"No!" It was out before I could think twice. I blushed a fiery red and looked down at the sidewalk while he chuckled.

"I'm Christian, by the way. Christian Hayes." He smiled at me. "Now you can look me up no matter what."

I laughed. "I'm Maggie Blayne. I'll even one-up you and give you my phone number."

I took a pen out of my purse but couldn't find something to write on. Christian handed me the book he'd just bought. I looked up as I took it from him.

"Write your number inside the cover," he said.

With a nod, I followed his suggestion and gave the book back a few seconds later. He read the number out loud and nodded.

"So where to now?"

"How about Hartlett's?" Hartlett's was a good restaurant with a bit of everything; steaks, pizzas and the like. It also wasn't far from the book store.

"Sounds great. I'll see you there in about fifteen minutes."

He turned to walk to his car. I saw him head towards an older model Isuzu Trooper and I watched him before heading for my own car. I tripped over the curb and reminded myself that I should watch where I was going.

"Get it together, Maggie." I shook my head and hurried to my car before I could make a bigger fool of myself.

On the drive to Hartlett's, I had a moment of doubt. I'd just run into this guy at a book store. What did I know about him? Nothing! What was I doing?

Then I pulled into the parking lot of the restaurant and saw him get out of the Trooper in a spot near the end of one row. My heart sped up and I couldn't stop the silly smile from spreading across my face. I pushed my doubts aside and got out of the car.

"I was afraid you'd stand me up," he called as I walked towards him. He waited near the front door of the restaurant.

"I wouldn't do that." I took his offered hand as I stepped up onto the sidewalk beside him. "And anyway, I already gave you my number. It would be silly to play hard-to-get now."

He laughed and didn't let go of my hand until we got to the door. He opened the door for me and I walked inside ahead of him. The hostess took us to a table within seconds and as we walked through the dining room, we could see that it wasn't very busy. It was early, not quite peak lunch dining time.

"Here you are." The hostess put our menus on the table.

Christian went to one chair and pulled it out. I waited until the hostess stepped back and made a move for the chair across from Christian.

"Maggie?"

I looked up to see Christian gesturing at the seat he'd pulled out. I blinked, surprised, and walked around the table to sit down. I'd never had a man hold a chair out for me.

He moved around to sit down as well and the hostess let us know our server would be out in a few minutes.

"Thank you." I picked up my menu and smiled at Christian over it.

He winked and warmth spread through my body. My lips parted and I drew in a slow breath. Christian's dark eyes dropped to my mouth and I wanted to say something, anything, but he was looking at me in such a way...

"I think you might like the steak sandwich." His deep voice startled me.

"Oh. Uh, yeah?" Brilliant, Maggie. Absolutely brilliant.

We chatted a bit more about different menu items and when I dared another look at Christian, he was perusing his menu. I took a deep breath and tried to calm the beating of my heart. I had never felt this kind of attraction to a man before. I'd be lucky if I made it through this lunch without drooling on myself.

I set my menu down after making my decision and crossed my arms on the table. "Can I ask you a personal question, Christian?"

He mirrored my pose. "Anything."

"Are you single?"

He laughed and nodded. "You think I might be one of those non-single guys who picks up unsuspecting women at the Barnes & Noble on a Tuesday morning?"

I laughed with him. "Well, if you weren't shopping for a romance for your girlfriend or wife, then what were you doing there?"

"I told you. I didn't feel like going home after I was done with my errands this morning." He shrugged. "I wandered through the store for a bit and when I found myself in the romance section, I just kept browsing." He grinned at me. "I've become a bit of a romance fan lately."

My eyebrows shot up. "Have you? But you asked in the store why people would read that shit."

He let out a noisy sigh. "You're never going to let me forget that, are you?"

I grinned. "Not until you explain."

"You caught me at a weak moment." He shook his head before continuing. "I didn't mean that I thought the books or stories were bad. It was more like I was asking the question out loud, of myself. Like, why am I reading romance?"

"Why are you?"

He paused, studying me and the waitress appeared to take our orders before he could respond. After she was gone again, I sipped my drink and repeated my question.

"All right. At the risk of oversharing, I've had a... difficult couple of years."

Right away, I felt like a jerk for pushing. I opened my mouth to apologize and tell him that he didn't have to explain anything to me. But he gave me a knowing smile and went on.

"My fiance... Uh, well, we're not together any more."

"Oh. I'm so sorry."

"Thank you." His smile now was rueful. "But it's fine."

"You don't have to tell me anything else, Christian. You don't owe me any explanations." I smiled and reached over to pat his hand. "We just met, after all."

"You're right." He shook his head. "I don't know why I told you that."

"It's OK. I mean, if nothing else, making a new friend has to start somewhere."

He chuckled. "Yeah, but not with that kind of confession."

I gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand before sitting back in my chair again. "I imagine there's a reason you told me. Somehow it turned you into a romance novel aficionado." I was trying to get him to smile, laugh or anything after that pronouncement.

"I don't know if I'd go that far." His smile was more relaxed and genuine. "After everything happened, and I was ready to start dating again, it felt different than it had before."

"Different?"

"Yeah. I was different, I suppose." He looked down and played with the fork beside his place setting. When he looked up again, he gave me a sheepish smile. "My old pick-up lines and routines didn't work for me anymore."

"Aw, you couldn't pick up women?"

"Oh, I didn't say that. I just changed my tactics."

I laughed and shook my head. "And that included perusing the romance section at Barnes & Noble?"

"Not exactly. That was definitely a first for me. I never thought I'd meet a woman in a book store." He shifted in his seat again. "Anyway, I found I didn't enjoy dating like I used to. Maybe it was because I'd known the real deal before and just dating someone, or several someones, wasn't cutting it. I started to spend more time at home, rather than putting in the effort to go out when I really didn't feel like it. One night, I got into a search on-line for something to read and came across a website that had... um... less than romantic stories on it."

"Do you mean to tell me that you were searching for porn and found erotica?"

His mouth dropped open and I laughed at his shellshocked expression. This was definitely the strangest first date I'd ever been on. Who talks about ex-fiances and porn on a first date?

"I wasn't surfing for porn!" His exclamation was perfectly timed, as the waitress appeared beside our table with our meals.

I kept laughing as Christian turned red. The waitress bit her lip to keep her smile at bay and set the plates down in front of us.

When she was gone again, Christian gave me a narrow look. "Jesus, Maggie, couldn't you warn a man?"

I shook my head and tried to stop laughing. "I'm sorry but you should have seen your face."

"Ummmhmmm. I see how it is. You get me all embarrassed and think I'm still going to pay for lunch."

I giggled for another second before composing myself. "Oh man. I'm sorry. That was funny."

He made another noncommittal noise and we started in on our meals.

I spoke up after a few minutes and after we'd consumed some of our meals. "Let's go back for a second here. You didn't really explain how your porn surf brought you to romance."

His glance went around before he leaned forward to respond. "It wasn't porn! But yes, I came across an erotica site and started reading different stories in all the genres on there. I kept coming back to the romance category over and over and it's been a long time since I've read anything else." He paused and drew in a breath. "Earlier, I thought I'd see what was in the real book stores for romance and if I could bring myself to actually buy one with some half-naked dude on the cover."

I grinned. "They're not all like that."

"I know. That Dorie Saunders has some pretty tame covers compared to some."

"That's true and it's one of the reasons I like her so much. She doesn't write the stereotypical romance novel."

"No? Is there a stereotypical romance novel?"

"Of course. For historical romance, it's the woman trapped in a marriage or with her family, longing for adventure who is rescued by some lovable scoundrel. In supernatural ones, with vampires and the like, the woman is strong-willed but plain and the man is always the ultimate alpha male who loves her and only her. Contemporary romances vary sometimes, but usually they're all about a woman overcoming some great obstacle and finding love with an equally challenging man." I stopped, embarrassed to have rambled on for so long about it.

"But Dorie Saunders doesn't write like that?"

"Not exactly." I considered before I answered. "She does write romance, and usually about regular people with regular flaws. There's always the conflict that tries to keep the two lead characters apart and they always overcome it."

I paused and looked across the table at Christian. We didn't say anything for a minute, both of us staring at each other, our thoughts silent.

Then he smiled and my heart skipped a beat.

"Sounds like real life," he said.

"She's very good at that." I smiled. "Life isn't as simple as the books sometimes make it out to be. Dorie Saunders doesn't always leave the characters with the perfect happily ever after, because that's just not realistic. Even when you've found the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, it's never just a straight walk down the aisle."

Christian regarded me in silence for a moment. "Have you ever considered writing?"

I laughed and waved a hand in dismissal. "Heavens, no. I'm not a writer."

"You seem to have a way with words, Maggie. Maybe you should consider it."

I flushed, pleased with the compliment but didn't say anything else about it. It was too soon to confess that I'd always harbored a secret desire to try my hand at writing a romance of my own. So far, I'd yet to find the proper inspiration.

We finished eating our meals, talking about other things in between bites. After we were done eating, we didn't leave. We sat there for another hour, sipping our coffees and talking. I didn't even notice the time passing, or the dining room crowd growing around us. We just spoke louder over the noise of the crowded room and then quieted down again when the lunch hour passed.

I glanced at my watch. "Oh wow, it's past two. I can't believe we've been here so long."

"That's surprising. It feels like we just sat down."

I nodded in agreement and looked around. There were a few other diners but the noise in the restaurant was muted, in the midst of the mid-afternoon lull. I didn't know what else to say, except that I didn't want to go.

"Do you have any other plans today?" Christian asked.

I brought my eyes back to his face. "No. Not really. Why?"

He shrugged, still giving me that smile that I was finding sexier with each passing moment. "I thought maybe we could do something else. Maybe hit a new book store or something."

I laughed and shook my head. "I don't think you can handle any more romance."

"I think maybe I can."

He held my gaze until I felt liquid heat stir low in my belly. I swallowed and nodded. "All right. Let's get out of here."

He paid the bill and we walked out of the restaurant together.

We decided on going to a nearby museum, though both of us knew it would just be another place for us to talk to our heart's content. And we did. We talked about everything and anything that came to mind. He mentioned his ex-fiance again and I listened this time, instead of telling him he didn't have to talk about it. He was a grown man, he could talk about his past to me if he wanted to.

I started to tell him a bit about my dating history as well. I told him how I'd gone through a bad break-up a few months back and was still dealing with the sale of the house we'd purchased together. We talked about high school, our past jobs and what movies we liked to watch. We talked about the autumn heat, and traveling and the fancy cars we'd love to own. We laughed, touched a few times and every time I caught the scent of his cologne, my toes curled.

Before I knew it, he was asking what I wanted to do for dinner and we set out for Wings, a local sports bar that would be showing the hockey game we wanted to watch. At the bar, we did more of the same; talked, laughed, and I got to know him better than I knew some of my long-term friends.

At around ten that night, we agreed that it had been a long enough day for both of us.

I stifled a yawn, the first moment I'd felt tired all evening. "I have to work at eight tomorrow morning."

"Yeah? Do you have any plans tomorrow night?"